Dating in your high 40s

cleats4u · 2024-05-31T19:35:15+00:00

First, get a vasectomy.

upvotersfortruth · 2024-05-31T08:59:54+00:00

49 here. Mid to late 30s ladies are a boon. Have had some great fun and good companionship. Your bigger problem is that you probably have no game. Always remember: Getting shot down is a badge of honor, not shame.

Left-Signature-5250 · 2024-05-31T08:57:41+00:00

Compared to my lovely cheating freeloader wife divorcing me after 2 kids and 13 years, it would literally have cost me half to just hire an escort or go to a prostitute EVERY SINGLE WEEK of these 13 years. Just a thought.

captainchippsixx · 2024-05-31T04:26:34+00:00

You can get dates no problem with the apps. But if you want the better stuff you need good pics, show some toys, and dance around that you have a great job. They will come. I have ok pics, decent job, no toys lol and dated about 12 women in a short time. Most of them were a no after the first date (a drink). I did 2 dates with one and then met my current gf of 5 years. (Neither one of us will get married again). I didn’t use tinder, but I assume if I did I could have had more hookups.

You have to use dating apps as a distraction.
Make friends with some and hookup with some. Overall it will help you get back I. The swing of things.

Sudden_Ad_4193 · 2024-05-31T03:52:11+00:00

I’m also 47 and the 40’s hell even 30’s women in my area look terrible. Call me shallow or whatever but I can’t bring myself to match with them. The few decent looking ones only go for tall, dark, handsome, rich, lambo driving doctors. I’ve completely given up dating.

alexmixer · 2024-05-31T03:38:40+00:00

Dude just go to Asian spas ...girls are nuts today..that are single

Abject_Buyer_1678 · 2024-05-31T03:13:40+00:00

Without reading other comments and I'm exactly in the same shoes as you. I have had absolutely zero luck. And the women I have come across are nuts. And it's definitely not the same as it was 20 years ago. But I'm still hoping she's out there. Hahahaha. Good luck.

Practical_Ad510 · 2024-05-31T02:21:27+00:00

49 and coming out of a 22-year marriage. I've used a few dating apps. I've met a few really cool women. Typically have not attracted women online that I would approach publicly with the exception of a few. I've had sexual relations with about 12 women in the last 2 years and have ended up with several really good female friends out of it and have had lots of fun. I'd say it's 50/50 between women that I've met organically or online. If you're in decent shape, can hold a conversation and have your shit together it's actually a lot easier now than it was in my twenties. I've always lived by the motto of don't chase women Chase excellence. You'll always lose money chasing women you'll never lose women chasing the best version of yourself. Put your focus on writing the next chapters of your life and making yourself desirable that a woman wants to join you on your journey. I'm excited of my next few years. Very selective with the women that I invited to my life long term. I'm older I'm smarter I'm Wiser and I probably have more respect for myself than I ever did. Losing a marriage taught me a lot. Not only about women but about myself. Yoga, the gym, local pools, bars restaurants are all great places to meet single women in their late 40s and 30s. I found that younger women are more attracted to me than I thought they were as well. Have fun! You still got a whole life ahead of you.

TheSwedishEagle · 2024-05-31T01:57:25+00:00

My secretary is an attractive woman in her 40s and she just got married for the second time. I think she’s a catch. Her new hubby is a lucky guy. I wish I knew how they met.

SaltVariety664 · 2024-05-31T00:46:47+00:00

I mean sure as beautiful as possible after 44 hahaha

LiarTrail · 2024-05-31T00:23:25+00:00

It's possible. Invest in your self, your appearance, smell, clothes, body and your confidence will come. Do the things you love and you will find yourself around the right people.

For many reasons, after marriage I was afraid of beautiful women. I would go into strip clubs when it's slow and relearned how to make conversation, eye contact, etc. It worked really well. After a while my friends would be so excited to see me. I always told them what I was all about. That this was my therapy. After a few months I didn't need it anymore.

Most of the women I met on apps were duds. I need to feel emotional connection to have sex so having a hoe phase was kind of out for me. I did eventually meet somebody and we've been happy together for about a year.

Also, I would pick up some Viagra or the equivalent for the first couple of times. The first two times I found myself naked in the bedroom with a new woman, I couldn't get it up.

I used the Viagra for a a few months but my girlfriend convinced me to try without and I found that I don't need it anymore.

Also, get a vasectomy if you haven't already.

Odd-Yoghurt1869 · 2024-05-31T00:21:53+00:00

I am going on my first date since divorce tonight actually and I'm 48. She found me on "hinge". I think Tinder is a bust.

I am also in the best shape of my life, I'm 6'4", tall, dark and handsome. Yep, I tell myself that. And I'm also rich and a doctor. When I feel down, I go cry in my Lambo, do 20 push ups and then get my sorry ass out and about.

Get out there and talk, to ANYONE. Make friends. Take a salsa dancing class. My social life has skyrocketed since my divorce. Shoot, I even karaoke-ing by myself the other day, just to check out new places. Is it awkward sometimes, hell yes, but I have a personal saying I need to frame:

What is worse than regret? Nothing, that's what.

Now get out there get some strange. I think I may see if my old facebook account is still active, as the dude who commented on it, eluded to a lot of kitty available.

Thank GOD for my prenup. It saved me ALOT.

capnjackstation · 2024-05-31T00:11:39+00:00

It’s a shit show. Just have fun. Date somebody younger because you can, it’s a privilege at our age. We get better as we age, the opposite sex, in my experience, tends to get jaded with age and have unrealistic laundry lists of must haves. Lots of alpha widows are out there too, especially on the apps. That being said I’ve had the best sex of my life since my marriage split.

Squidgy68 · 2024-05-30T23:35:34+00:00

I'm 51 going thru a divorce been with my wife 20yr so dating is not something I'm looking forward to or even in a rush to start...But the 2 books No more mr nice guy and Dating Essentials for Men by Dr Robert Glover are excellent reads and have loads of advice for when I do finally start.

whiskey_piker · 2024-05-30T23:30:25+00:00

I was in my mid-40s after my divorce, and dating apps were a complete waste of time. However, since I am successful and outgoing and attractive and fun, it really is just easier for me to meet women face-to-face. Highly recommend that anyway, it forces you to continue to be out in public seeing people rather than isolating yourself behind the computer screen. Happily engaged now and my fiancé is about 15 years younger than me.

Dangerous_Item_6879 · 2024-05-30T23:09:48+00:00

It’s a total shit show out there when you are older.

But with that said, I’ve had the best sex of my life since getting divorced.

Apps are good or bad depending on your city. Check out the “datingoverforty” subreddit for some insight.

You need a good social circle of friends and hopefully some other guys in the 40-55 age group to hang out with who are single or dating around.

Brown33470 · 2024-05-30T22:59:32+00:00

Join Facebook, unlimited pussy

Strict-Front-2375 · 2024-05-30T22:28:23+00:00

I'm 37, so not really the same age. But, I'll say I have a much easier time having sex than I did in my 16-25 range, when I was last single, but either lived at home or room mates, and had almost no money.

The flip side is, the women I can have sex with have zero potential to be long term relationships. Lots of broken and bitter women out there for a handsome guy who works out every day with a house on a golf course and a good job to have sex with, but haven't met any who would be a good wife.

But hey, my ex seemed like a good wife, right up until she cheated, so even if good at start, no guarantee that'll last.

yourcarlosdanger · 2024-05-30T22:18:16+00:00

My wife walked out on me and the kids when I was 47. When I had met her 20 years earlier I was in great physical shape and was dating a lot. 20 years later Im mentally defeated, out of shape, probably clinically depressed and stressed to where I could think of almost nothing but the damn divorce and our kids. I was taking our 11 year old son to basketball practice every day. I decided to start working out while he practiced. 3 hours a day 5 days a week. I was so out of shape when I started that I had to take it slow with light weights, I remember limiting myself to only 12 sit ups because if I didnt I would be too sore to work out the next day. 6 months later I was swimming 1.5 miles per day and lifting weights every other day. I grabbed my camera and a tripod, went out to the woods and used the timer on camera to take a lot of pics. Narrowed down the pics to the 4 best and got on online dating.

I had two or three dates per day. I live in a medium size town, not a big city. The women on online dating were arrogant but in the end not difficult to get. I met one of the town Chads. He gave me some pointers on seduction. Stupid shit like asking her to lie down in the backyard at night on a blanket with wine and look at the stars. You would be amazed at how women respond to something that simple.

It got to the point where once I had seduced them I wouldn't even follow thru with actual sex. Then I realized that I had redeemed my ego and didnt need to do that anymore. Dont let anyone tell you that late 40s is too old. Im 60 now. I have a girlfriend I met on OLD and a sugar baby, two girlfriends. Stand up straight, grit your teeth and decide that you are going to put in the work and get it done. Working out is fun once you get past the first month of being weak and sore and start getting strong and confident. Meeting women for coffee or lunch might be scary at first but its a lot of fun once you get past the first few.

Marriage brow beats men into feeling defeated because the man is not the head of the household, the State is the head of the household meaning the woman is the head of the household. Once that reality sinks in some wives abuse their power and enjoy fucking with our heads. Now you are free from the petty tyrant. Now you can regain your masculinity on your terms without the State threatening you with taking everything you have. They did it, you have paid the price for your freedom. Do not feel guilty for finally being free to thrive and get your mojo back.

Rollercoaster72 · 2024-05-31T06:09:26+00:00

M51, got around 100 matches in half a year, went on 23 dates. For I started dating very quickly it wasn't a good idea... but it helped getting over my marriage very well. Date number 23 should have been my last before taking a break. Went on a short walk along the beach at 07:00 am on a Sunday. We both need to breakfast with our children so we split. Went on a second date on the same day! Flemarket at 12:00 and a third date at my place after the kids were gone to their mother at 20:00 (1 evening every 2 weeks I don't have the kids)... woke up the next day with her and brought her to her job... been dating her since the past 3 months.

She is the same age, ex semi professional nude model and we have the same hobbies, past menopause (very important!), both have the same sexdrive (2-3 times a day is good at the moment) and we are mentally challenging eachother constantly... we did not meet our (teenaged) children but that's fine with us both and still too early but we glimpsed out that we are meeting someone we really really like.. I made bread and ice cream and gave it to her and her kids at it with joy. She cooked dinner we both ate together and I took enough for my kids home which they ate later with joy and told them it's from her, she did the same...

We both are living in the moment and enjoying life besides our kids to the max. I did not fall in love with her very quickly, it took 2 months and only slowly I opened up emotionally. I fell a little bit in love in the moment I saw her reacting with my friends and on parties we went together...it feels like it's slowly starting which is very good I think...

What also was important to me was that she did had long term relationships and her last one (10 years) was 2 years ago, she didn't break up; the guy went off with a 22 y.o

We are both 51, both in shape but ofc time gets your body. And I am happy not having to deal with younger women who want kids and elder women who will stop working way earlier than I will...

If we would end it, I wouldn't return to OLD. IRL meeting is much better and in my city not a problem...

I don't believe in a life time relationship anymore, she still does, time will show if it was the right thing to do or not, I am just enjoying life at the moment and it's great ;-)

Title	Dating in your high 40s
Author	plastic_avocados
Upvotes	25
Comments	65
Date	May 30, 2024 3:11 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1d46d35/dating_in_your_high_40s/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/dating-in-your-high-40s.1520055 https://theredarchive.com/post/1520055

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