I have a consultation with an attorney this week. My wife and I are planning to go thru mediation, but I wanted to know my rights. What are key questions to ask and what documents should I bring?

Adventurous_Fact2083 · 2024-06-27T23:55:40+00:00

Make sure you get a lawyer who specializes in custody and divorce/family law. AVVO

Dry-Archer-4277 · 2024-06-27T04:50:47+00:00

You cannot get a divorce in VA if you are still living together. I live in CA and was married 28 yrs. You really do need a lawyer. On the day you two stop living together, everything has to be split 50/50 according to what your net worth was on that day. I went to the bank, took out the money that I worked for 60 hrs each and every week for and handed over half, gave her the car I bought her the previous year. The day she moved out, I made sure she left with half of the stuff that I alone worked for. I paid for a legal consultation and that's what the Lawyer said I had to do. My ex didn't get a lawyer. She filled out EVERYTHING with a pen. She made so many mistakes that at first it cost me more billing hours and more time. On the day of the trial she showed up with no paperwork, she didn't serve me in time for alimony request and the judge threw everything out, declared us legally divorced and she got ZERO Alimony. If you go to mediation, its more expensive than you may think. The more you two can iron out peacably the cheaper it will be. If both of you want to fight to the death over the dog and bunch of crappy furniture, it just gets worse and worse. You sure would be better off if you two could decide on custody outside of court. I overthought my case...thinking it would be like a TV court drama. The existing state laws do most of the deciding and the judge makes it official. That was my take on it. In a big nasty drawn out divorce, the attorneys are the biggest winners. Good luck!

Bumblebee56990 · 2024-06-27T03:55:17+00:00

All the things you noted mention to the attorney. Also make sure you think of yourself and the children only.

Jiujitsu_Dude · 2024-06-27T03:07:06+00:00

I did mediation and I did not get the better end of the deal, hire a great attorney. She will likely be paying for it, seek spousal support, half of the assets including retirement, at least 50/50 custody and sail off into the sunset my friend. You are going to be better than good. 👍

No_Investigator3353 · 2024-06-26T23:24:33+00:00

They just gonna suvk money from yall..trust me I went through this crap..once they know yall make money, it's counselors and mitigation, mediation all this horseshit and yall will end up in same spot after 20k down..scammers

BaldieGoose · 2024-06-26T21:55:44+00:00

You're in a great position to love like a king here.

Special_Profit4509 · 2024-06-26T20:52:10+00:00

Cut off your ball sack if it pays, seriously though you need a lawyer. It sounds like you will be a stay at home dad after this divorce. I hope you know she's screwed financially, if you can play nice the kids will not have to much trauma. Under no condition go to mediation or anything else unrepresented. Take a loan out, sell your items, anything but failing to have a good attorney.

This_Train340i · 2024-06-26T18:48:51+00:00

Do NOT proceed without a lawyer! Do NOT go to a mediation without a lawyer. File before going to mediation otherwise the agreement is worthless as either of you can back out at any time. Interview at least three lawyers. Ask each lawyer who they would hire if they were going through a divorce. If the lawyer says himself, lose his number (a person who represents themself has a fool for a lawyer ... beside it being an arrogant unhelpful thing to say proving the lawyer is thinking only about himself not your best interests). The fact that your wife makes 4x as much as you is gold. She'll have to pay your attorney fees so hiring a lawyer pays for itself. She may have to pay alimony, but most certainly child support to you. Consider charging up some debt before filing as that will be half your STBX's debt too. For example, maybe you need another car? Also, if you got a VA loan for your home, you must be taken off the mortgage via refinance if you want to use it to buy another home for yourself. That could be a sticking point bc mortgage rates are high and a refinance will be an additional financial burden to your STBXW. Good luck, brother!

Particular_Mix_4160 · 2024-06-26T16:29:28+00:00

Holy shit dude. I don’t think you understand anything about what’s happening. Your wife wants out but has been informed by a lawyer ( maybe behind your back) of what is going to happen. Dude, you are in the driver’s seat! Pay a divorce attorney and don’t tell your wife. After that: you’ll see that you’re the boss. Whatever you want, you get. Most men lose because of this and I’m one of them. Wow, you’re in a good position

wisstinks4 · 2024-06-26T14:39:55+00:00

You’re getting paid. Ask for Spouse support.

jasoncb123 · 2024-06-26T14:26:03+00:00

Part of the reason she wants to work on it is she probably already knows she’s going to be taken to the wood shed financially. Just my opinion

DivorceCharacter512 · 2024-06-26T13:51:27+00:00

Well - Virginia is a fault fivorce state. She' an adulterer. If you have decent proof you've got her there for fault. She out earns you by 4x - so unless you have a prenup or have been someway cruel to her- you'll get alimony.

soontobesolo · 2024-06-26T13:27:31+00:00

Even if you get 50/50 custody, which is the MINIMUM you should get, she will be paying you a lot of child support, and you will be splitting all assets and debts.

You must have a lawyer on your side. She will be paying you a LOT.

CulturedGentleman921 · 2024-06-26T13:05:44+00:00

You will absolutely screw yourself if you DON'T talk to a lawyer.

They will probably get her to pay for it, maybe.

They should tell you what to bring beforehand. I should think that the lawyer will want all of the financial information. Including debts like student loans, mortgage and car payments, and credit cards/amazon.

tempussecundus · 2024-06-26T13:01:27+00:00

Nah dude. If what you're saying is true you'll have alimony and CS on top. Talk to an attorney. Mediation Might work but don't trust your spouse if it's gone to this.

Personally I would fight to the end to save the marriage.

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