Wife proposed an open marriage. Would you say this is same as, or worse than, ILYBINILWY?

Ambitious_Buddy_6723 · 2024-08-29T17:42:57+00:00

Man this Sucks but she's telling you she already has someone picked out and wants guilt free ability to fuck. If you say no shes gonna fick him anyway (if she's not already). It's over. It's literally a branch swing in motion. At least she was kind enough to tell you shes cheating or at least wants to.

GRIZZ-3 · 2024-08-29T17:30:38+00:00

It's ILYBINILWY, but you already knew that. She's not asking to "experiment" with you. That's for Chad and Chad only.

Nntropy · 2024-08-29T17:36:29+00:00

State your boundary and then STFU.

Aechzen · 2024-08-30T01:14:18+00:00

How serious are you about blowing up the marriage, even if that means half or less child custody for you and halving your finances, selling your house, etc? Exactly how hard are you willing to do the divorce? Don’t say shit about divorce if you don’t mean it and haven’t already had a legal consult to know the rules where you live.

Back to the headline… I don’t know your wife. But lots of people ask for an open marriage after they already have been banging somebody, they feel some guilt or think they are about to be found out and this gives them retroactive permission to cover what they already did.

… and then I read to the part where your wife is considering banging coworkers? WTF? Your wife has terrible judgment. If she is hot she can bang who she wants but she shouldn’t bang a coworker unless it’s literally her boss and she can bang her way into a significant promotion.

Go talk to a lawyer. You don’t need to file but you do need to know how things work if you need to kill your marriage. You will have at least one person you know you can call. Start tracking everything you put in your mouth with myfitnesspal. Don’t think of it as losing 30 pounds. Think of losing three pounds. And then do ten reps.

ThreeKingsRP · 2024-08-29T17:49:07+00:00

What are your boundaries? Will you tolerate a separation knowing exactly what she's doing?

Is that something you're willing to do and know that you're on the back burner? While she's getting pumped full of cum by her coworker? Or your best friend?

Are you actually prepared for divorce?

Will you take her back knowing another man's cock has been in her mouth?

Stew in that chaos for a few. Let it burn through your heart. Feel the pain.

Is she worth taking back?

Edit: You know damn well your wife can most likely walk into any bar and pick out a random guy and take him home. Can you pick out a random woman and take her home with no effort? Think about it and that's how you're open relationship works.

BobbyPeru · 2024-08-29T22:30:19+00:00

It’s worse because she’s telling you she’s done but she wants your support and put you in the back burner while she tries out another man. She might even ask your advice with guys.

Don’t blow shit up, that’s a weak move. Instead, just file for divorce and try to get it done. I’m guessing she will be adamantly against the divorce because then she can’t have her cake and eat it too. Don’t fall for it. She’s already told you it is over.

strojnapenaze · 2024-08-29T20:55:49+00:00

you woke up too late buddy

InChargeMan · 2024-08-29T19:30:33+00:00

You are a fat fuck who spends his time doing unattractive things like playing video games. If you legit want help stop lying to yourself and stop lying to internet strangers.

Based on your responses, I'm thinking there is a slight chance that you are actually close to the mental space to understand what you are doing wrong and how to improve. We don't fix marriages here, but might fix you.

I dare you to use this as an opportunity to at least emulate the kind of man you might one day be. Start with not responding to this message with some ego protective bullshit or just deleting the post in a couple of hours.

businessstravel · 2024-08-29T22:02:53+00:00

A lot of retarded comments in this thread; hence, it's askmrp.

First off, where are you on your MAP? Have you started a MAP? OYS? Sidebar work? Lifting? STFU and start working on you. Forget your wife.

Secondly, accept the fact your relationship is over. This is the old MRP slogan that most guys that come here in the present day seem to forget. Whatever your wife does isn't your problem. You control you; not her.

Finally, you are an unattractive fuck... Why are you surprised in this situation? A man in his mid-40s who is overweight, has no 'life' outside his home and work life, and has no direction... You deserve what you get. Start posting in OYS and build a MAP. End of story.

xynthor · 2024-08-29T18:23:57+00:00

Pull the plug

RedditSucks369 · 2024-08-29T20:10:18+00:00

I think these kinds of requests are deceiving. Its not a request per se. She isnt asking for permission, she is just being polite. She has thought about it hundreds of times, she has at least a couple of guys lined up, she has been cooking it for months if not more.

You cant change her mind now, its too late. Do not waste your energy and moves trying to make her rethink her desire. Say No and set yourself financially free. Then reassess

PhuryousGeorge · 2024-08-30T01:39:43+00:00

Respect yourself

redwall92 · 2024-08-29T17:40:32+00:00

Talking is not your answer. I'd give you 5 words. If it's more than 5 words, it's not worth saying.

intothegreatbelow · 2024-08-29T17:50:01+00:00

Do you think she sees you as the prize? Her best option? If she did, do you think she would have approached you with this?

Do you think your ultimatum / boundary will mean shit? Would you even trust her if she agreed?

Category_Feisty · 2024-08-30T08:19:11+00:00

She is telling you that she cheated and that she doesn't want to feel guilty while keeping all the benefits.

Homie it's too late.

Ragnardanneskjunior · 2024-08-30T14:18:00+00:00

Your marriage is basically over. She already has someone in mind and is already getting pipe from at least one other dude. I don't think it's a test at this point and I would just go to defcon 1 and nuke it. If you are in decent shape and won't be financially untenable then you can replace an aged woman within 6 months and i would already be spinning plates in your situation. Do the things you will be doing as a single man because you basically are already single and focus on investing in things that you will not lose in divorce or custody hearings. I would not be in the same room with this woman again if I could avoid it. This is all your fault and you have plenty of work to do but that isn't going to happen while you're still living in close contact with her. This is worse that the ILYBINILWY speech because it's coming from a place of desire and not emotional insecurity. Desire cannot be negotiated and cannot be negotiated with either. Burn it down.

bigtuck604 · 2024-08-30T18:53:30+00:00

She brought it up, because she already has the perfect candidate.

Tousen71 · 2024-08-29T21:48:11+00:00

Yikes. Good responses here though. The biggest red flag to me is “go on dates.” That’s more than physical which is already a problem, she’s looking to explore emotional connections. She’s branch swinging she just wants the freedom to do it openly (pun intended). Sounds like she’s having a mid-life crisis and wants one last shot at her true alpha. Probably a version of the dude that knocked her up when you met her.

I’m willing to bet she’s cheated before. Will cheat again. And probably has reams of texts/DMs on socials chatting with dudes. Wouldn’t be surprised if she’s had dating profiles either.

If I were you, I’d end the relationship immediately. Even the suggestion of that is a death knell to me.

mikedo82 · 2024-08-30T15:19:47+00:00

You do both man. Her even asking (vice having a mutual conversation about wants/desires) to bang another guy is a full stop imo.

2024-08-31T07:29:39+00:00

Dude, what’s the fucking point? You slept trough all alarms and now you don’t even know what you want.

deerstfu · 2024-08-29T18:15:17+00:00

I disagree that this is necessarily the same as ilybinilwy. Its not like this is good, but I think context matters in determining how fucked you are and next steps.

What are your stats, height, weight, lifts?

Her age? Did she not have a chance to "experiment" before you?

How many kids and what ages?

Is the relationship otherwise stable, great sex?

Did you ask any follow ups?

What does "experiment" mean, could it involve you and did she go straight to open marriage versus group sex?

Did she have someone specific in mind?

How did the open marriage discussion "dissolve" 8 years ago?

Red_Pill_Brotherhood · 2024-09-14T06:38:25+00:00

Your marriage is done. You're going to have to divorce and move on. It's easier said than done, but a simple solution. You'll need to accept that.

Remington-Holmes · 2024-09-20T21:11:38+00:00

Branch swings work best when you're swinging from a safe and stable branch.

It's time to be out for yourself. OYS, lift weights, eat healthily, dress well, and stop trying to please the wife. Live as though she were dead.

Kevlar__Soul · 2024-10-10T02:43:53+00:00

Translation I want to cheat on you and not feel bad about it or have consequences. Still think I might be able to land a better guy but not really sure. Don’t want to give up my security until I find out.

Personally if my wife wanted to open the marriage on her end I would have filed paper work the next day. That’s just me.

I am all for STFU in most cases but I wouldn’t in this situation. Simple statement if you ask me to open our marriage ever again we’re done. Then be fully willing to actually follow through.

I would go ahead and start prepping for a divorce. Set aside money and speak to an attorney to get an idea of your options. Fact is in your 40s your just ending you prime years. You can replace her with a younger and hotter version with just a little effort.

Title	Wife proposed an open marriage. Would you say this is same as, or worse than, ILYBINILWY?
Author	sk33td0gg
Upvotes	34
Comments	54
Date	August 29, 2024 5:17 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/1f47zp3/wife_proposed_an_open_marriage_would_you_say_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/wife-proposed-an-open-marriage-would-you-say-this.1528772 https://theredarchive.com/post/1528772

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