How the hell am I supposed to succeed being neurodivergent?

SnooHesitations4922 · 2024-09-27T19:34:42+00:00

The most important thing a neurodivergent man can do is to not equate your self worth with your ability to get women. I say that from experience because I have dyschronometria, which has many symptoms in common with autism, it took me 20 years to start generating options, only to realize I could have done it from day one if I would have stopped exerting effort into winning women over.

If you measure your worth by your results with women, you will keep sinking deeper into a depressed hole and get even worse with girls.

Just stop caring. When you talk to girls, have zero care for the outcome of the interactions, and many of your behaviors will auto tune to become more attractive.

BigFunnyBigMoney · 2024-09-27T20:40:27+00:00

Idk what specifically is neurodivergent about you, but nearly all the well seasoned 'pickup' guys were neurodivergent. Neil Strauss has even said that exact thing in a podcast I listened to (when he was on Modern Wisdom to promote his latest book I think?) RSD Tyler has also come out about being diagnosed with asperger's well into adulthood - I think he was 35+ when he found out, well after he had been banging strippers.

Not a death sentence. Is it harder? Yeah. I empathize with you. But you can replace 'neurodivergent' in your post with 'short', 'ugly', 'poor', 'uneducated', 'ethnic/ a minority', literally anything. You just gotta play the hand you're dealt. Yes, it sucks. That's life.

AnthonyPillarella · 2024-09-27T22:22:19+00:00

No, it's not a death sentence.

But viewing it as one is.

This whole fucking post is you staring into an empty coffin. Cut that shit out.

View social skills like any other skill. What behaviors are generally received well? What core mechanism makes them work? Now apply that to other shit.

Maybe some are hard for you to perceive. Fine, what workarounds can you come up with? How can you plan around or minimize the problem?

As a fellow special, it's just a fucking skill. Treat it like one.

New-Temperature-4067 · 2024-09-27T19:32:24+00:00

I have ADHD and Asperger's (altough i think that might be a misdiagnosis, jury is still out).

Ive been in a good relationship for 10 years with a hottie that also ejoys other hotties.

If i can do it, you can do it. But crying and whining wont fix you. Quite the opposite.

Go to the gym. This starts your journel of self-improvement. Once you see fat disappear and muscles appear you will start to be more confident. This is important.
Read some books about mindset (eg master your mindset - michael pilarczyk), about dating (eg the game - neill strauss). And perhaps also about what adhd is and what it means for you. Accept that your "flaws" can actually be assets. For me, ADHD means my thoughts never stop. I can carry a conversation for days without effort.

However, it took me years to found out i was talking too much. This brings us to point 3.

Dont talk too much. Let her talk to you instead. If you hover over a girl like a kitten, your body language is screaming "im needy and crave attention". Basically like a crying baby. Instead of leading the conversation yourself, let her do the talking. Ask a question like "do you like to work out" She can respond by eg: yes i love it. Where you can reply: oh great i love fitgirls. Instead of going into depth about how many reps on what machine she does.

By validating her you let her think she is conquering you. This is what is commonly refferred to as getting the girl to chase you.

Dont forget. By embarking on a journey of self improvement you are already a step ahead of the competition. Yes they may be a natural,, but if their "base stat" is higher than yours, that doesnt mean yours can't improve to an even better level.

Also. Start a business while you still live with your parents. Working for a boss sucks. Especially if your attention span is as short as mine.

AssistTemporary8422 · 2024-09-27T19:30:19+00:00

You need to work on your basic social skills and how you come across visually.

Several_Ad_8363 · 2024-09-27T19:09:45+00:00

How old are you? Got nowhere till I was 22 (except one girl who fell from the sky for an hour when I was 17). After 22, ridiculously attractive women.

Girls like boys who fit in, women like men who stand out.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't do stuff under the general category of "being your best self" though.

OleMoon · 2024-09-28T04:24:03+00:00

I'm autistic.

My advice? Try out not masking. I don't mask, and even though I'm weird as hell, I'm also funny. I do turn plenty of women off by being weird, but others find it endearing. I have a hot girlfriend of two years who loves hearing about my special interests, and thinks it's cute/funny when I have to do some stimming in the middle of a conversation, or when I fail to recognize something a neurotypical person easily would, etc.

Instead of trying to jam a square peg in a round hole, I just do my best to work with the tools I have.

comradeautie · 2024-09-27T19:48:25+00:00

I feel the same way. It's brutal for us Autistics.

ProFriendZoner · 2024-09-27T23:24:53+00:00

Quit using it as a reason to stop you and use it as a way to succeed. You have to do things differently. Look at it as a game. I know neurodivergents that are dating, in relationships, married, what have you. Is it easy? NO! Is it harder than people who are not neurodivergent? Yes! But that doesn't mean it can't be done. Dating, relationships, marriages are hard for even the people who make it look easy.

Low_Leadership6291 · 2024-09-27T19:01:19+00:00

You see I got diagnosed with ADHD, OCD & DID still scored a baddie way out of my league, now my friends envy me I can see it in their behavior.

theasianplayboy · 2024-09-27T20:50:46+00:00

I get it—being neurodivergent can feel like a weight in the dating scene, but there are practical, actionable steps you can take that I’ve taught to both my neuro- and culturally divergent clients to succeed:

1. Embrace Your Strengths:

Instead of trying to fit into a neurotypical mold, recognize your unique strengths. Maybe you’re highly analytical, detail-oriented, or have deep passions—these can make you stand out. Own them and use them to your advantage in conversations. Women are often attracted to someone who’s confident in their individuality.

2. Master Body Language:

Body language is often a hurdle for neurodivergent individuals, but it’s crucial. Focus on maintaining open, relaxed posture, eye contact, and smiling. Start practicing with friends or in low-pressure social situations. Confidence often starts non-verbally—how you stand and move can make a huge difference.

3. Script and Rehearse Conversations:

Social interactions might feel overwhelming. To reduce anxiety, script out common conversation starters or responses to typical situations. For example, have a few interesting questions about their hobbies or interests ready to go. This reduces the pressure of thinking on the spot and allows you to feel more prepared.

4. Leverage Activities for Social Interaction:

Put yourself in environments where you can naturally connect with others while engaging in a shared activity, such as hobby groups or classes. It reduces the pressure of one-on-one interaction and gives you a common ground to build on.

5. Start Small with Social Exposure:

Begin by interacting with people in low-stakes environments where the outcome doesn’t matter as much—like chatting with a barista, cashier, or a group of friends. Build up your comfort gradually rather than diving into high-stress scenarios.

6. Work on Emotional Regulation:

If neurodivergence causes you to react strongly to rejection, practice emotional regulation. Mindfulness techniques, journaling, or talking to a therapist can help. Confidence grows when you’re able to stay grounded and not let negative feedback completely throw you off.

7. Consider Sensory Sensitivities:

If sensory overload is an issue, take control of the environment. Choose quiet places for dates where you can feel more comfortable and at ease. It allows you to focus more on the interaction and less on external stimuli.

These are just a few examples of how I’ve helped clients turn what might feel like obstacles into opportunities for growth. It’s about having a strategy, being patient, and making steady improvements. You’ve already started by working on your social skills—keep building on that momentum, and you’ll see progress.

goldenshoelace8 · 2024-09-27T21:13:38+00:00

If you keep doing it over and over with the true belief that you are improving the only way is up, a lot of times you’ll get a couple no’s before you get the yes and that yes might be perfect

risethirtynine · 2024-09-28T00:46:05+00:00

Honestly, if you get into mindfulness/meditation and lean into “spirituality” (not religion) you might actually do really well.

Happyseducer · 2024-09-28T04:27:40+00:00

You sound like a far left wing feminist woman complaining. " As a women I feel...."

" As a nuerodivergent man....." first of all - stop thinking like a pussy and using new speak. Be a man and own who you are. The complaining "as a..." type talk - a rich suburban girl can get away with but men can't. We can't copy this wimpy new think junk if you really want a good life. Unless you are okay with having a victim mentality and failing at life and dying having never fulfilled any of your potential. The alternative is be a man, take ownership and just trust that you can do it - and never talk like a complaining feminist again.

Bro - you manage to pull when you are drunk - this means you can do it and you have the skills , but you are too nervous and you are stifling yourself - you absolutely then can learn how to push through fear or become looser when sober.

A mentally challenged person can not drink alcohol and suddenly do math. It does not work that way - alcohol NEVER increases abilities it just lowers inhibitions so you have clear have the raw abilities that you need within your brain somewhere. So this bitch ass mentality goes out the window. You just have to push and figure it out - like basically anyone who wants massive success

Anyways - also I will say again don't talk like a whiny bitch where ever you learned to talk about yourself with terms like nuerdivergent - never listen to any of that shit again. Stop reading buzzfeed jezebel the nytimes or whatever garbage talks about that

Loads of the most powerful successful men are quirky and different. You can own that shit and figure out how to make it work for you. Sometimes if you are a different kind of guy - it maybe could be tough to succeed in the middle but when you figure it out then you are on top - if that makes sense.

I myself have always been "different" but I figured out myself and got really freaking good. My key was I never accepted even the idea of "shy" I was terrified of socializing 10x more than anyone I have seen - but I can not even remember what that felt like now - I just pushed through it over and over and over until I became ultra confident ( and also built my skills).

I myself got assessed as having "off the charts ADHD" - who cares? Works for me - I think fast improvise fast. Tons of the world changers and leaders aren't usual - but the terms like ' as a neurdivergent man" is just a wack way to think

tilldeathdoiparty · 2024-09-28T00:22:47+00:00

Full blown neurodivergent over here and stop drinking, figure out who you are, what your strengths are and get some confidence.

You can’t change this stuff and there are a lot of advantages so put these good stuff to work and find the right woman instead of trying to get all the women.

Us neurodivergent brained people have a tough time establishing our own boundaries early in relationships as we were told we were different our whole lives, we have to conform to the norms. Take up some space and be who you are, once you start letting go of results and start enjoying the interactions you have, without an agenda, it’s wayyyy easier to start pulling.

Also - Start saying some nice things about yourself for a change, I know what you’re doing and you’re letting the anxiety be right and control your thoughts which become emotions and feul the thoughts.

Break the pattern, be a better friend to yourself.

Edit - cleared up some poorly worded words

Poolside_XO · 2024-09-28T00:52:24+00:00

🎱

riordanajs · 2024-09-28T07:11:27+00:00

You should know that the biggest PUA legend is an autist. His name is Owen Cook. He has two YouTube channels, go check him out.

We all have our struggles, and as men we need to overcome them. Most men who have an easy life never find real meaning and often turn to drugs or other self destructive behaviour.

Yeah, it might take half a year of going out consistently while sober, doing set after set, but trust me, there are no shortcuts, there are no hacks. The faster you accept the mountain you have to climb, the quicker you'll be able scale it.

MirrorBaIl · 2024-09-28T10:34:47+00:00

It’s the underlying desperation they can sense.

Exotic_Pop_765 · 2024-09-28T22:09:17+00:00

Tyler is neurodivergent

southparkslope · 2024-09-28T22:21:21+00:00

Jesus Christ

spaceman06 · 2024-09-29T18:28:36+00:00

Aella (data scientist, of girl) is autist and said she was seduced by a guy ask asked how he did it, and she gave her a book about seduction and she started to read it and was able to understand and apply it. You should ask her if it worked for her it will work for you*, I tried to ask her at reddit but she didnt replied.

*She is a woman with spontaneous desire that is not (at least now) shy (and beautifull), it will be easier for her than for you of course.
Also her blog:

https://aella.substack.com/

DaygameCode · 2024-09-27T19:14:24+00:00

If you genuinely want help, I’m gonna offer you a free coaching session just so you can see results and see that it’s not hopeless. You can book it here.

The good news is that if you can pull girls when drunk that’s already more than some people i have worked with. So you are not hopeless.

You will feel much better after the session and much more empowered, to the point you won’t even believe how i can give it for free. Promise.

kingsandqueens123 · 2024-09-29T03:56:48+00:00

Stimulants

ManaDeus · 2024-09-27T19:43:07+00:00

Neurodivergence is a lie, don’t believe in it, act like a man, you’ll be good.

MentalCelOmega · 2024-09-27T22:19:51+00:00

You don't. It's impossible for the neurodivergent to find success.

Title	How the hell am I supposed to succeed being neurodivergent?
Author	throwawayofc1112
Upvotes	63
Comments	72
Date	September 27, 2024 6:57 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1fqv8cl/how_the_hell_am_i_supposed_to_succeed_being/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-the-hell-am-i-supposed-to-succeed-being.1531462 https://theredarchive.com/post/1531462

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