I was married twenty years. We had one son and by all accounts, we had a great marriage. Around year 18, it simply fell apart. No infidelity, to drug addiction, no MAJOR contributors other than 2 people who simply had lost the ability to compromise and get along with one another. The old “fork in the road” aspect of life.

We had a VERY amicable divorce. She and I literally sat at our kitchen table and wrote up our divorce decree. No lawyers of any kind were involved. It’s quite simple if you both agree on things. She did most of the writing and suggesting, I mostly just agreed knowing that if I got out of this without hiring a lawyer and going to family court, Ive ALREADY won. Still, I read over the decree VERY closely, and all seemed well. It was again, VERY amicable. I gave up ALOT of things I didnt want to give up, but I was accommodating and agreed with 90% of her suggestions.

She brought up a stipulation that I thought was pretty good. She told me that if I gave her the first $10,000 profit from the sale of our home, she would not request “legal” child support (for the record, I am a very attentive father and take VERY good care of my son) and she asked that I paid for half of all money she spent on our son and vise versa. It was a very good and well authored divorce decree. We were both very satisfied and actually had a drink to celebrate……(weird i know) We have 50/50 legal and physical custody of our son, he stays at his mothers 4 days, my place three days.

Fast forward a couple years……we dont like each other. Our parenting styles are very different. She’s a “let them do whatever” and I’m more of a “do chores first, THEN play” guy. But we never spoke ill of one another to our son. I WANT him to love and respect his mother. We didnt use him as a “pawn” against one another, and all things considered, he has flourished. He’s a great student and person.

He is literally 8 months from turning 18 and I get served with papers. These papers say that my son has lived EXCLUSIVELY with his mother SINCE the divorce. (2020) and he has not  been to my house in over 90 days, and that I have pulled ALL FINANCIAL SUPPORT of our son. so she wants the original child support amount that was calculated in the paperwork (an amount has to be established even though not being enforced) PLUS 20%  additional paid to her……RETROACTIVE……AND she wants custody changed from 50 50 legal 50 50 physical to 100% physical to HER. I wont give all the financials, lets just say that i paid her by check, and i have every receipt for EVERYTHING i ever gave her and for what I pay for. She knows, VERY WELL that i can PROVE every one of these accusations false. I even have a home surveillance system SHOWING my son coming and going to my home.  So very reluctantly, I had to retain an attorney. (The one thing NEITHER of us wanted to do) and I explain the whole situation and the attorney is visually perplexed. She cant understand the timing….hes to turn 18 in under a year…..THEN I explain the “child tax credit” agreement my ex and i came to. Basically, we were supposed to alternate years claiming our son, and my ex straight up threatened to take me to court unless i let HER claim him. I did the math, and hiring a lawyer would pretty much wash any money I could have made claiming the tax credit. And to be honest, I am TERRIFIED of family court. I have seen what has happened to good men when women lie in court. So I told my ex “if it keeps us out of court, you can claim him this year (my year). She has gone on to claim him EVERY YEAR so far using the same threat of “taking me to court”  My (female) attorney says……..”your ex is in contempt of court….RIGHT NOW. This decree states that you (me) are to claim him this year and this year, she has threatened you with legal action if you dont let her claim him….that is EXTORTION. Weather you agreed to it or not the divorce decree was judged on, and she agreed to it.” So my attorney files the proper paperwork to refute ALL claims and to get the ball rolling. She tells me, “it usually takes about a month or so to hear back for discovery and all that, but I’ll let you know…”  AND THAT IS LITERALLY THE LAST THING I HAVE HEARD ABOUT IT . It has literally been 4 months since I retained my attorney and refuted all claims against me. About a month ago, my attorney called me just to tell me that she has heard NOTHING from my ex wife’s attorney. NOT A WORD. And that shes not sure what they are planning if anything. My son isnt going to college after high school, so thats not the angle.   I truly believe my ex wife, knowing how scared I was of going to family court, tried to bluff me. I called her bluff and now it’s radio silence. My question is, WHAT could they be planning? Again, NO discovery has been requested, NO response or contact of ANY KIND has been made by my ex or her attorney in 3 months. Is there an angle that I am not seeing?

Please help me prepare for what MIGHT be a blindside that myself or my attorney hasn’t thought of. My attorney is a pretty damn bright woman, and a bulldog as well and shes having trouble trying to see what good this is all doing BESIDES making me put out a few thousand dollars to retain her as my attorney….. Any thoughts?