Wife told me today she retained an attorney and wants me to fill out a financial affidavit need help

Comfortable-Angle660 · 2024-11-28T18:35:19+00:00

Get a lawyer asap, and never settle for visitation, she is trying to destroy you.

Dark_Tint · 2024-11-27T00:48:39+00:00

Stop talking to her and don’t sign ANYTHING until you have a lawyer to represent you that will help you through this.

Unusual_University14 · 2024-11-26T13:10:23+00:00

Does she not have the ability to know what the assets are? Are there separate accounts? If things are still joint she has the information.

If she wants to present the terms of a deal, tell her to present the terms of a deal. The financial affidavit is a tool of litigation to support discovery. So if she wants to settle, then settle.

I'm guessing considering you're talking about financial hardship, there isn't a bunch of stocks, inheritances, trusts or anything like that running around. Give her last year's tax return (it was probably joint anyway) and year end W2s. She can base the deal off that.

dnbndnb · 2024-11-26T12:38:55+00:00

It is only to your benefit to get an attorney immediately for so many reasons list below…

Plus one more…

Your attorney can slow this process Wayyyy Down. Heck you could get them to drag it out for two years via various delays, court rescheduling, etc.

This gives you more time to have more time with your kids to demonstrate you should be a 50/50 dad. More time to save up cash, more time for pretty much everything. And yes, this comes with a financial price, but in your case this may well be worth it.

In the mean time, you’ve not been served. Tell her you’ll consider doing the financial disclose when she considers getting a job and doing 50/50 on the kids. Let her blood boil a bit.

Bumblebee56990 · 2024-11-26T12:15:38+00:00

Get an attorney now.

probebeta · 2024-11-26T08:30:47+00:00

Stop talking to her, see a lawyer ASAP. She is not your wife or your friend anymore.

Sea_Emu_4259 · 2024-11-26T08:30:32+00:00

1⚠️ Do Not Fill Out or Sign Anything Immediately⚠️

Without consulting an attorney as this can have serious long-term consequences, especially if her attorney prepared it.

Her attorney is obligated to act in HER interest, NOTyours. Even if she says you won’t need your own attorney, dont believe it. In many jurisdictions in Europe for example 2 attorneys in divorce is mandatory for that very reason.

Urgency: it could come from financial reasons, like avoiding sharing an upcoming windfall or pressing financial issues. Consider:

- her anticipating changes in her income, debts, or other financial circumstances that WILL affect the divorce
- by filing first, she sets the pace
- If she expects a inheritance, new job, or other income, she may want to finalize it asap. Any rich dying parent or childless uncle or aunt?
- she is cheating: If suspicions, find proof bc it would help you settle a more favorable divorce + STD check & DNA parental test

Reviewing recent financial transactions, especially joint accounts, to see if she’s hiding assets or planning something.

Take Control of Shared Finances: f your wife has access to joint accounts, If your wife has access to joint accounts, she could potentially withdraw funds, in a premeptive strike as advised by her attorney Freeze or Close Joint Accounts ASAP
DO NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE unless a judge orders it. Here's why:

Once you're out, she is primary caregiver by default. You're "weekend dad." or "walking purse"
Her 👹lawyer might tell her to drag this divorce out for years for Free housing and $$$ support
BUT If you stay, she'll want to speed up the divorce
Worst case: You pay for a house while she brings in the new BF
Don't fall for her suggestion, claiming it's better for everyone/kids. Remember, kids often recall the parent who left. Your goal is to be an equal parent, not a 🏰Disneyland Daddy in your kid's life. Stand your ground
🚨 If forced out, demand financial compensation or virtual rent since you're still paying for the property & need to pay another rent. This makes her think twice about exploiting the situation.
Only exception: If she's violent or has mental issues, and you're at risk of bogus domestic violence accusations & TRO strike( i.e. a judge telling you to get out).

RevolutionaryLaw8854 · 2024-11-26T04:21:53+00:00

She’s worried about you drinking and you drink 5 days a year???

That’s not even a thing! No worries there.

Here’s the hard truth- unless she agrees that all your marital assets and debts are to be split 50/50 then she’s planning on screwing you over.

Please stop listening to her. You’ll have money when you sell your house.

Go get your own attorney

warwww · 2024-11-26T04:20:40+00:00

This is no different than someone telling you to "keep still while I harm you."

To op, I understand and from the looks of it, you feel defeated insomuch as you're at the drop of a dime ready to leave your home and BE AWAY FROM YOUR KIDS. Don't do this. There is no need to fear this human who is capable of destroying your life with a few tears and allegations.

You need an attorney. You need to put on file everything. What also helped me when I was accused of dv when I would not back down from 50/50 custody and not leaving the house was to record, record and record. I even preempted certain things. I would write emails to myself in advance knowing that she'd lie about certain events. I had to do all of this just so I can be with our kids on a regular basis, an active father.

If you don't do this for yourself, do it for your kids. Why do they deserve to only see their father 4 times a month?

PlaceLonely6195 · 2024-11-26T03:36:02+00:00

Please do not sign anything & do not agree to leave your house voluntarily. Research and understand what a Silver Bullet divorce is b/c if you don’t comply, her lawyer will most likely advise her to take this route…. And it sucks brother. Please talk to an attorney and protect yourself now before it all goes down. Most attorneys offer an initial consultation at no cost; hopefully, you can get some sound legal advice from a family attorney that knows the ins and outs of your state’s guidelines. I wish you well. This is a hard process but it does get better.

regertsrus · 2024-11-26T03:14:55+00:00

Do you work? What is the income disparity? How old are the kids?

dharma_van · 2024-11-26T01:55:31+00:00

Hire an attorney and get what’s rightfully yours. If she makes more than you, she should have to pay you. Get 50/50 custody. I’m pretty sure that’s a given unless there are unique circumstances. Don’t just “do what her lawyer says.” Don’t get fleeced.

Vronicasawyerredsded · 2024-11-26T01:54:04+00:00

If she’s hired an attorney and is demanding a divorce it is within your right to ask the court to demand she pay for YOUR attorney since she’s forcing you to defend yourself.

Also, if you live in a one party consent state, start recording your conversations, she’s not allowed to weaponize your children as a form black mail to get the out come she wants especially since you don’t have an attorney.

Also, you should ask for spousal support since she seems to have more money than you do.

Which means she’ll likely have to pay you child support even if the courts have awarded you a 50/50 split since she’s the higher income earner.

It certainly possible that she is quite motivated because she has monkey branched to a new fella.

You should spend some time discovering if that’s the case as it might benefit you later in a settlement.

Fill out nothing Sign nothing Agree to nothing

Until you are represented by an attorney don’t even use the word “yes” in her earshot.

deconblues1160 · 2024-11-26T01:53:05+00:00

You need to have a Lawyer ASAP. Otherwise, she is going to manipulate the system and destroy your chances at 50-50 custody. She will also take as much from you as possible. Do not trust her anymore. She is an adversary. Start recording on your cell phone all your interactions with her. You do not need her trying to get a false police report on you and force you from the house that way. Protecting yourself financially and custody wise should be your primary concern.

warwww · 2024-11-26T01:36:43+00:00

LOL - “The Spider and the Fly”

Cue the incoming abuse allegations since you’re not willing to cede 50/50 custody or move out of the home at her request.

!remindme when op gets accused of domestic violence.

You need to toughen up and do it now. You are dealing with a person that you do not know now. Reread when you wrote above. You are about to be skinned alive and your kids removed from your life for a period of time if you do not view her as a legal adversary. That doesn’t mean you hate this person, but HOW in the hell could you even think she has good intentions for you if she’s already STATED that she will go to extreme lengths to limit your parental (not visitation) time with your kids.

Let it all sink in.

LoveCrispApples · 2024-11-26T01:35:15+00:00

Do not take advice from a known adversary. There is a REASON why she wants to fast-track this. She knows how to play you so, at the very least, run this by legal counsel - they will see what your wife doesn't want you to see.

Slowloris81 · 2024-11-26T01:33:40+00:00

No. You need your own attorney. Get a consult right away. A lot will do it for free. Don’t worry about costs. You can most likely file a motion for her to establish a fund to pay your attorney. Ask the lawyer at a consult.

She’s trying to trap you to sign away important rights. Don’t do it.

Comments

1⚠️ Do Not Fill Out or Sign Anything Immediately⚠️