What to say to "Won't have sex till in a relationship"

PleaseDontBeTakenPlz · 2025-02-27T03:44:23+00:00

Leave relationship girls alone and only fuck girls who don’t care.

jealseme · 2025-02-27T03:27:10+00:00

1) Consent: no is no. 2) Do you want a relationship? If yes, you good. If not, run away. 3) Best answer is "Ok, I respect that" AND FULL STOP ANY ACTION, check your phone, put your clothes back on, go to the bathroom, and don't start any escalation 'till she takes the initiative.

Still_Ad_4383 · 2025-02-27T03:36:20+00:00

Cool, bye

Sora1499 · 2025-02-27T03:24:08+00:00

I recommend that you talk to these girls about their sexual norms before getting in bed with them. It’ll save you a lot of time.

DopeAFjknotreally · 2025-02-27T05:00:33+00:00

There’s not much too say. She set the boundary. You can either get to know her better and pursue a relationship, or you can move on and decide you don’t want to wait that long. Both are acceptable decision

Charge36 · 2025-02-27T04:31:33+00:00

You can't change her values. You can do a better job vetting them before you get to that point. Do you live in a conservative area?

Glacier_Sama · 2025-02-27T04:25:14+00:00

These girls are not attracted to you. Maybe you're good on paper or seem like you would be a good provider. They're dangling the carrot to trap you into commitment. Marriage with any of these girls would be an instant DEAD BEADROOM gg.

They're gaming you. First date sex or eject-o seat.

Medical_Tutor_7749 · 2025-02-27T04:42:37+00:00

I dunno man, if they were really sexually attracted to you, there wouldn't be a negotiation. They would want to do it.

Smazher95 · 2025-02-27T10:32:42+00:00

Either you're open to a relationship or you're not. I'd say next honestly.

cyrusm_az · 2025-02-27T03:51:29+00:00

Just remember, she’s done it plenty of times with other guys but she wants you to wait.. she’s no virgin.

only05ling · 2025-02-27T05:37:50+00:00

Happened to me with one. Just walk away, she is not sexually attracted to you. She will tell you things like “I’m not ready”, “I only do that with boyfriend” etc

So it’s a combination of two things, one, she is not that attracted to you, because if she was crazy attracted to you, she will fuck you, trust me. Two, she is probably not experienced enough, not liberal enough, has religious or whatever boundaries, but again, if she is really thirsty for you, she will not care for any boundary.

Look elsewhere, plenty of fish

Friendzone her and keep looking

BombardMeWithBoobs · 2025-02-27T13:26:05+00:00

This is why I don’t trust people who say they’re celibate, virgins, or that they’re waiting until whatever benchmark to have sex. You’re participating in oral sex. You’re getting real frisky and naked. You’re teasing and grinding and all in on the foreplay. And then have the nerve to act like they’re not sexually active. People like this are avoiding penetration, I understand that, but are really walking a fine line imo. Always need to respect boundaries but sheesh, having no issue with sucking dick or 69 despite all that has always been weird to me because it’s called oral SEX for a reason. You’re sexually active. To each their own though. I personally never have had this issue where it persists over multiple meets. If a woman does this to me on the 1st date, totally understandable. But then she’s all over me on the 2nd date. If it persists then we obviously aren’t compatible when it comes to views on sex, and if I don’t want a relationship then we’ll go our separate ways.

InevitableNet5712 · 2025-02-27T22:02:19+00:00

I don’t know 4 women that get right to the 69. Lots of women don’t 69 even after having sex. If she’s that far into it, no way she’s sayin no to intercourse. I’ll suck your dick with my nose in your ass while your nose is in my ass but don’t you dare think about sex

Puppy-2112 · 2025-02-27T23:24:00+00:00

If all you want is sex, she just called you on it. Find someone who has similar desires. If you want a relationship, what’s holding you back? She wants a relationship. Respect that.

Ivabighairy1 · 2025-02-27T03:37:22+00:00

She’s not into you.

BXtherapist · 2025-02-27T03:42:29+00:00

She did you a favor...

Cuz if you successfully fucked her, she would have tried to flip the situation if you didn't want to actually be in a relationship...

If you got the mental bandwidth to deal with that shit, some women want sex to be a "mistake"..

Which means you go there with no intent of fucking and then let her "manipulate" the situation and follow along...

You might have rushed the process and then she did whatever bullshit she did..

Honestly, you say OK and put your clothes back on

teilzeitdino · 2025-02-27T11:00:00+00:00

Maybe she got hurt once really bad and felt used. Also feelings and sex can get get tangled up for women pretty easily so her not having sex with you could be her protecting herself emotionally. Wouldn’t say it means she‘s not into you tho. Either way, she wants emotional security and if you cannot give her that, leave her alone. 🤷‍♀️

CoachSlyDating · 2025-02-27T04:06:13+00:00

You deserve someone who you have true chemistry with and isn’t trying to use her pussy as leverage to get you into a relationship. She has changed the dynamic where she is the buyer and you are the seller. You probably escalated too quickly without pushing her away enough.

Biscuitsbrxh · 2025-02-27T11:50:00+00:00

Bro if you are eating them and fingering them good there is no way they have the self control to say no to you most of the time. Especially if they are highly attracted to you. You are doing something wrong

CatchFree7976 · 2025-02-27T17:16:06+00:00

Learn frame control. When a woman makes a statement like, “I don’t have sex until the third date,” she’s setting the precedent and taking control of the situation. Instead of just accepting that frame, you want to shift it in a way that keeps the interaction playful while maintaining your own sense of authority. For example, rather than agreeing, you could respond with: “Oh, I actually love that rule. In fact, I’m going to hold you to it. But just so you know, when we’re on our next date and you’re all over me, I’m going to have to remind you of your own rule.”

This serves two purposes. A it’s kind of funny and can make them laugh and more importantly B. It respects their boundaries while at the same time setting a precedent that you are the one enforcing the rule, not just following it. This shifts the dynamic, making it clear that you are confident and in control rather than simply following.

Simmiethesimp · 2025-02-27T20:32:23+00:00

Just saying OK should suffice

Conjoined_Triangles · 2025-02-27T22:08:37+00:00

A girl I've been seeing for long term told me this. Considering how overly detailed your post was about the whole action, it's much more likely she's engaging in her own dating strategy after having some past experiences, rather than just being more conservative in her values. That is totally fine, everyone has their own values and dating strategies (knowingly or unknowingly) regardless of how optimal they are. It's usually better when it's transparent on both sides.

The real issue here is the two of you have different set of values when it comes to when sex should happen. In my case, I took an honest approach to this and told her those aren't my values, I would be willing to wait however long we need and continue to take her out because I want to, but in the meantime I do plan on seeing other women casually. It was not a response she was expecting, so we mutually agreed call it quits.

spenserbot · 2025-02-27T05:59:48+00:00

Tell her you would never buy a car without a test drive…

And if you would never buy the car anyway, don’t test drive it.

PrinceDestin · 2025-02-27T13:03:07+00:00

Well whatever you say just know they are lying, at least in my experience a few kisses on the neck Some teasing, backing off a lil bit

And those panties start flying off like magic

BILESTOAD · 2025-02-27T06:21:12+00:00

You should say, “I respect your wishes.”

dogstarfugitive · 2025-02-27T10:49:15+00:00

Stop. Chill for a bit. Try again. If it's still no that's no. But I'd keep seeing them anyway til I fuck them.

Sora1499 · 2025-02-27T03:54:48+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Sora1499 · 2025-02-27T04:03:17+00:00

EDIT: This was supposed to be a comment Reply. Oops.

kitaeks47demons · 2025-02-27T08:39:53+00:00

say less begging/manipulating for vagina is not based

Plane_Benefit7868 · 2025-02-27T10:16:36+00:00

They don’t respect you bc they can sense you’re desperate. Idk if you’re immediately going down on them. But what makes you attractive is your ability to walk away if there’s something you don’t like about her. So just do that.

antonio-bolonio · 2025-02-27T15:17:16+00:00

I am seeing some decent advice on this.

The best advice so far is about self-respect, do not accept being teased without release of that tension. Teasing is fun and all when it leads somewhere, but if it’s teasing for the sake of teasing with no outcome that builds resentment.

The lesson for you is move on, and the lesson for her is don’t tease sexual partners into a relationship.

Some other solid advice is just simple communication, I’m taken now myself but once you’ve got a rapport built and you and her are feeling at ease with conversation it’s fine to just ask someone’s thoughts on sex as a next step.

If you don’t align, move on. Ultimately it is better for everyone to engage with those on the same page as them.

Relationship minded folks should seek out relationship minded folks, and so on.

Lastly don’t treat this as a playbook or a strategy. If someone teases you but still doesn’t want sex, don’t dip because it might make them change their mind, leave and stay gone, don’t initiate with them again it’s not worth the effort. You can be friends after but it’s better for you and your mental health to close the door on them being a sexual partner, and in all seriousness people are way more attracted to a person with self respect than those without it, the right people will notice.

liftingnstuff · 2025-02-27T17:28:22+00:00

Women get turned on differently than men. Try building more tension and leading earlier on. You might be giving off boyfriend vibes/frames. Lean more into fun, casual, spontaneous getting in trouble type vibes/frames. Get better at foreplay.

MineDesperate2920 · 2025-02-27T18:59:27+00:00

Some girls are like this. But yea def lots that will bang too

xenogantz · 2025-02-27T22:15:50+00:00

Hey, when I've experienced women tell me they won't do X, I respond with some variation of "all good, we can still be friends."

Raycer998 · 2025-02-28T13:02:26+00:00

That just means nothing other than the fact that you need to respect that

Alive-Engine1612 · 2025-02-28T17:35:07+00:00

If they don’t want to have sex out of a relationship then they don’t want to??? This is pretty easy to comprehend

pie-mart · 2025-03-01T03:29:11+00:00

Why isn't this a conversation you have before this? You can't assume compatability.

notathr0waway1 · 2025-02-27T07:37:46+00:00

These girls have these boundaries and we have this bizarre need to stick our dick in it.

It can be just as much fun to do everything but actual sex. It can be creative, it can feel naughty, eat them out, get blowjobs,mutual masturbation, watch each other masturbate, come on her face, come on her tits, she sits on your face... The possibilities are endless!

You can do this all with no ulterior motives, and as a nice little side effect some of these girls are going to realize that you are so fun in bed and so creative that they will fuck you anyway.

Commercial_World_433 · 2025-02-27T12:28:50+00:00

What qualifies as a relationship to her?

bigJohnyz · 2025-02-27T13:15:52+00:00

she fucked guys in the first date, she said "ohh i dont f unless im in a relationship". Context, she fucked many guys outside a commited relationship and she is tired of them using her.

What I would do is try to kiss her and advance and see how she responds, if she backs down then you know that she was probably jus using you for attention or she doesnt find you sexually attractive enough

r_kdethrowaway1337 · 2025-02-28T05:09:42+00:00

The problem is that you're activating their anti-slut-defense. These women obviously aren't virgins and they've engaged in casual sex. And they're aroused and they desperately do want to have sex with you.

But in her mind, the worst thing she can possibly be is a slut. The internalized misogyny goes deep. Sex needs to be something that "just happened."

This is also the reason you always invite them over to your place for a glass of wine or to play Uno, instead of explicitly stating that it's to have sex (even though they obviously know what'll happen, it just can't be made explicit because that triggers their ASD).

You deal with it the same way you deal with kissing. You can ask her before you kiss and get explicit consent to kiss, and some women do appreciate that, but in general you just go for the kiss once you get positive signs from her.

Here, you said:

"... (she was moving up and down as if you were fucking) Literally 6 inches from it. Then when I asked her if she wanted to do the real thing she again gave me a hard no"

She obviously is desperate to have sex, so just stick it in. Obviously don't go around assaulting women, but you get what I mean. She was ready to have sex, but when you verbally asked her about it, that triggered her brain's ASD to think "wait, I can't have sex without being a in a relationship with him, that'd make me a slut." If you didn't ask, she never would have objected. She didn't cockblock you; you cockblocked yourself. You want to avoid doing any unnecessary actions that trigger her ASD.

In this specific case since she already asserted her boundary three times in the past, you probably do still want to get verbal confirmation - and that makes her a lost cause - but in the future, just don't ask. Escalate naturally like you do with kissing.

And as a college student you do need to be a bit more careful to avoid false accusations, but again just use common sense. And if you do get falsely accused, it's going to be a he-said-she-said, so it doesn't matter if you got verbal explicit consent since she could lie about it anyway.

Some other people mentioned the freeze-out as another strategy. I replied to this comment with an old excerpt I found that has more details/tips on the freeze out.

Capital_Song3792 · 2025-02-27T04:00:36+00:00

I love this... women are woke, not giving sex for free anymore 🤣💓

_SKUL_ · 2025-02-27T07:21:17+00:00

Man jus lie to them and commit to whatever shit relationship they want and fuck

BroccoliMcFlurry · 2025-02-27T12:13:41+00:00

Get your foreplay up- there's no way a girl's saying that if you got her worked up enough.

weDCbc · 2025-02-27T21:15:29+00:00

"Good luck with that!"

stefdearlife · 2025-02-27T22:07:09+00:00

"Won't have a relationship till have sex"

heysoundude · 2025-02-28T03:35:50+00:00

“Hello, friend”😈

Vegetable_Republic63 · 2025-02-27T12:19:42+00:00

We are in a relationship!

MensSocialLab · 2025-02-27T15:22:04+00:00

Just try again. Maybe have a better build up to sex so that the girl is more turned on. Try massage.

Title	What to say to "Won't have sex till in a relationship"
Author	International_Map_80
Upvotes	56
Comments	86
Date	February 27, 2025 3:16 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1iz67q5/what_to_say_to_wont_have_sex_till_in_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-to-say-to-wont-have-sex-till-in-a.1545087 https://theredarchive.com/post/1545087

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