No, you are not "unempathetic", Women's emotional expectations are just unreasonable

MyLastBestChance · 2025-04-12T17:27:03+00:00

Here’s the beauty of romantic relationships, they are entirely voluntary!

Men who feel that women are hormonal, overly emotional and dramatic are absolutely free to say that loudly and proudly.

They can and should announce their unwillingness to empathize or waste their time listening to women.

Women are absolutely free to stay far away from those men and share their lives and bodies with the men who actually respect and care about them.

Win / Win!

Interesting-Lack-474 · 2025-04-12T17:26:20+00:00

Tbh this post just comes off as emotional immaturity

alwaysright0 · 2025-04-12T17:44:47+00:00

Women are overly emotional, you say?

Remind me who is the most violent again?

ThatBitchA · 2025-04-12T19:12:49+00:00

What "emotional expectations" are unreasonable?

Please share examples.

justdontsashay · 2025-04-12T17:32:01+00:00

So, you feel that our expectations for emotional support are unrealistic and we’re demanding you be “overly empathetic,” but the rest of your post is showing you actually demonstrate zero empathy. So wanting any empathy or ability to understand feelings is unrealistic. Got it. Thankfully there are men who do actually have empathy, so most of us don’t need to settle for whatever this is.

Life-Income2986 · 2025-04-12T18:05:02+00:00

"I hate having to listen to and understand my partner :(((((" Is not a position that a normal person would defend.

If you hate your partner that much, don't date them.

Slow-Narwhal486 · 2025-04-12T18:16:56+00:00

Wow, I'd be kind of offended by this if I was a man. You're making it seem like men are incapable of having emotional intelligence, and are some glorified machine-like problem solvers. Empathy is a part of emotional intelligence, and is something that's often learned. Just because something is intangible, doesn't mean it isn't "a real problem."

What you're describing isn't even a cognitive understanding of emotions. Claiming that women simply get upset about mundane things because of hormones shows that you're saying men don't even have the capacity to listen, comprehend, and understand emotional responses.

It seems like you don't understand what empathy actually is either (I'm not trying to attack you lol, this is just what your post shows). Empathy, to put it simply, involves sharing the feelings and emotions of others. Not only do you understand what the other person is feeling (and why), but you experience those feelings within yourself.

It's completely reasonable for a person to expect that their partner has both critical thinking skills, and empathy. Men and women are perfectly capable of having both of these attributes.

Schleudergang1400 · 2025-04-12T17:24:11+00:00

You do not understand what empathy is.

soyspagetti · 2025-04-12T17:24:37+00:00

The expectations have changed, and nobody will tailor theirs to accommodate your rigidity. Adapt or be ejected from the dating pool.

FearlessSea4270 · 2025-04-12T17:26:42+00:00

Men are just as emotional as women.

Many men just lack the emotional intelligence and communication skills to effectively communicate their emotions. That’s what happens when we raise girls and boys differently and provide either group with only half of the toolbox.

DragoniteNine · 2025-04-12T20:10:23+00:00

Sub5 tries to approach at gym (No need to know what the guy looks like. The reaction given says it all)

JonMyMon · 2025-04-12T18:02:28+00:00

Empathy is just understanding how someone feels.

Women do not have a monopoly on that. They might feel more, but I don't think they understand more. Having high empathy is not about understanding the plight of the underprivileged. That's easy. Having high empathy is understanding the plight of the serial killer or rapist.

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Puzzleheaded_ghost · 2025-04-12T19:20:10+00:00

I'm reading all the comments, and your point has received extreme reactions here. You're on to something. The power of reaction makes me question. Do unreasonable expectations mean that women have unreasonable emotions? I don't know, but it's interesting.

Coincidentally, I was reviewing literature on relative empathy between genders. Men have less empathy, and some factors reflect in-group and out-group empathy. This empathy is the opposite of dark triad bullying.

TL;DR — Empathy Differences Between Men and Women (with References)

Women report higher empathy than men, especially emotional empathy — this is well-supported in self-report studies. (Hojat, 2016; Chen et al., 2014)
Objective measures (EEG, brain imaging, behavioral tasks) show small or no consistent sex differences in empathy ability — empathy appears to be a human universal. (Pang et al., 2023; Baez et al., 2017)
Social factors (gender roles, cultural expectations) strongly influence empathy expression — women are socialized to express empathy more, men are not. (Löffler & Greitemeyer, 2021)
Biological factors (e.g., oxytocin in women, testosterone in men) may contribute to small differences, especially in emotional empathy. (Chen et al., 2014)
Evolutionary theory suggests women's empathy advantage may come from caregiving roles, but men and women both evolved capacity for empathy within different social strategies. (Hojat, 2016)TL;DR — Empathy Differences Between Men and Women (with References) Women report higher empathy than men, especially emotional empathy — this is well-supported in self-report studies. (Hojat, 2016; Chen et al., 2014) Objective measures (EEG, brain imaging, behavioral tasks) show small or no consistent sex differences in empathy ability — empathy appears to be a human universal. (Pang et al., 2023; Baez et al., 2017) Social factors (gender roles, cultural expectations) strongly influence empathy expression — women are socialized to express empathy more, men are not. (Löffler & Greitemeyer, 2021) Biological factors (e.g., oxytocin in women, testosterone in men) may contribute to small differences, especially in emotional empathy. (Chen et al., 2014) Evolutionary theory suggests women's empathy advantage may come from caregiving roles, but men and women both evolved capacity for empathy within different social strategies. (Hojat, 2016)

_weedkiller_ · 2025-04-13T12:54:29+00:00

Empathy relies on shared experiences. You might have more empathy for men who have had similar experiences to you? There will be things women experience that you can’t empathise with, but you can sympathise and comfort them. That’s part of what happens in a partnership.

If you are unable to consider your partner’s feelings and empathise with them you might not be ready for a relationship.

insert_dead_memes · 2025-04-13T18:47:16+00:00

Tough shit bro. Women are like that, it's not their fault. Stop crying about it.

wtknight · 2025-04-12T19:14:54+00:00

They're obviously not "unreasonable" because other women often manage to live up to those expectations. It's perfectly reasonable to hope that a man can have the same empathy as one of her female friends.

However, I personally believe that men's hormonal makeup tends to have an emotionally blunting effect on their personalities, and that heterosexual women need to learn how to deal with this and enjoy the select times that their partner is empathetic rather than hoping that their man will start acting like a woman. But I do think that it is reasonable for men to constantly try to become more empathetic to their partners. Relationships are about communication and compromise.

freekin-bats11 · 2025-04-13T00:52:37+00:00

In what situations are women overly emotional and dramatic to the point they cannot solve an issue? Is this trndency a trait exlusive to being a woman? If so, what makes women more emotionally volatile and apparently less rational than men?

How many more expectations are men valued against than women? Would you say they compare to whats expected of women?

LevelCaterpillar1830 · 2025-04-12T17:22:42+00:00

That's the whole point of dating a "meh" dude in the first place. The average man is under this impression that women are going to go 50/50 emotionally in relationships where they're effectively settling, but that is just not the case.

The WHOLE, and I repeat, WHOLE point of dating a meh-looking dude as opposed to some gigantic handsome quarterback is that the "meh" one is a lot likelier to cave to your emotional demands and put more on the line in the relationship (once again, as opposed to the dude who wouldn't).

That's just the reality of lacking bargaining power in your own relationships, and that is the entire point of "dating for stability": the guy will actually put his back into it and let you off the hook more often when you have an episode.

If you're a guy in this situation, always remember that you're free to leave anytime. The question is, will you?

And another question: Do you think women have these gruesome emotional demands from men who are TRULY attractive and can leave at any moment due to abundance?

DragoniteNine · 2025-04-12T17:23:13+00:00

Don't be physically unattractive, overly short (below 5'5) and mentally challenged. Seems like a low bar to me.

Event	Outgroup Targeted	Mechanism	Source
Soviet Purges (1930s)	Kulaks, dissenters	Dehumanization of "class enemies"	Cikara et al., 2011
Maoist Cultural Revolution	Intellectuals, teachers	Empathy replaced with revolutionary zeal	Kaminsky, 1985
Khmer Rouge, Cambodia	Educated classes	Anti-humanist ideology of "purity"	Kaminsky, 1985

No, you are not "unempathetic", Women's emotional expectations are just unreasonable

Comments

TL;DR — Empathy Differences Between Men and Women (with References)

Ingroup Empathy Bias: Men vs. Women

TL;DR — Outgroup Failure of Empathy in Marxism: Key Causes and Historical Examples

Main Idea:

Ideological Flaws Leading to Outgroup Empathy Failure:

Historical Examples of Marxist Empathy Failure & Democide:

Bottom Line:

Title	No, you are not "unempathetic", Women's emotional expectations are just unreasonable
Author	MourningMymn
Upvotes	0
Comments	176
Date	April 12, 2025 5:17 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1jxmb8z/no_you_are_not_unempathetic_womens_emotional/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/no-you-are-not-unempathetic-womens-emotional.1549323 https://theredarchive.com/post/1549323