Why are Men not good problem solvers when it comes to relationships?!

Environmental_Day558 · 2025-05-30T00:57:12+00:00

This one is easy. Because another human being (especially a female human) is not an inanimate object and can't be negotiated with or "solved" via a logical or step by step process like a vehicle.

The stuff you listed involve attracting women and entering an LTR. Getting a prenup, being more socialable, and fulfilling your purpose is all cool. No guarantees it will land one but it could boost your chances. But what about within the relationship? That can come with an entirely new set of problems that has nothing to with what was mentioned, and solving those are not as easy as just "do x and expect y". It takes both parties to come with a solution and often times involve compromise. If you approach this like you would a vehicle, it will not work.

The_Forgotten001 · 2025-05-30T00:53:50+00:00

Because men approach problems with logic and straightforwardness, women don’t respond to that if they are in their feelings.

Perfect example.

A man asks what is wrong with, his wife says “it’s fine”.

He thinks everything is Ok, she does not.

Can’t solve a problem one side won’t admit to having.

The_Forgotten001 · 2025-05-30T00:53:35+00:00

Because men approach problems with logic and straightforwardness, women don’t respond to that if they are in their feelings.

Perfect example.

A man asks what is wrong with, his wife says “it’s fine”.

He thinks everything is Ok, she does not.

Can’t solve a problem one side won’t admit to having.

Independent-Mail-227 · 2025-05-30T01:45:26+00:00

Because rationality cannot appease the irrational, there's no amount of logic, philosophy or basic trough process that can solve a situation where the other side is blind and deaf but unsurprisingly never mute to the situation at hand.

Marriage: a lot of men preach to not get married and avoid it because women would take all of your stuff, BUT why not just get a ironclad pre-nup or post-nup so you don’t have to worry about divorcing your wife?

There's no such thing as ironclad prenup and good fucking luck making a post nup that would not be throw away because "women are wonderful".

Loneliness: a lot of men complain about loneliness and how they can’t get any women BUT why don’t they just develop social/people skills and self care skills

Because if you were alone before you're still alone now but you just lost your time.

Self care is a meme, people don't let themselves go and this result in negativity. People suffer from negative outcomes and stop caring about themselves, because it's not a big surprise, when you keep taking baths just to people to treat you like you stink, when you go to the gym just for people to think you don't even workout or when you keep trying to be friendly and happy just to be shot down each opportunity you will just stop doing it.

Bitterness and apathy is a result, not a cause.

The basic of human behavior, or even animal behavior, is feedback. Most people are not mentally ill enough to delude themselves into thinking that they're getting results when all the feedback is negative.

Attraction: a lot of men complain and hyper fixate on the idea that you can only attract women through looks, money, and status BUT why don’t they just focus on smfinding and fulfilling their purpose so that they can attract the right woman that help them fulfill it?

There's no attracting the right woman, or you attract a huge amount of women and filter the ones or you just get what it's at arms length.

Also, there's no reason why would you fulfilling your purpose would make the any woman attracted to you, for all we know, they're still attracted to the same characteristics as any other women.

Castamira · 2025-05-30T00:56:24+00:00

Just gonna ignore 1 since I’m not married but 2 & 3 only really apply to neets who are complete shut ins and don’t bathe.

There’s plenty of men out there who put themselves out there, groom themselves, talk to women and men etc. and are still unable to attract a suitable woman.

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Barely-moral · 2025-05-30T01:00:36+00:00

Possible answers.

Marriage: a lot of men preach to not get married and avoid it because women would take all of your stuff, BUT why not just get a ironclad pre-nup or post-nup so you don’t have to worry about divorcing your wife?

Nothing is Ironclad. Also, reducing your dating pool to women that are ok with pre nups or post nups creates a bigger problem than the one we are trying to solve.

Loneliness: a lot of men complain about loneliness and how they can’t get any women BUT why don’t they just develop social/people skills and self care skills

That is not the solution. But that is not the point. The right question is why are men not problem solving their loneliness. And the answer is that the problem can't be solved by their actions alone. There is no relationship unless someone else decides you should be in one.

Attraction: a lot of men complain and hyper fixate on the idea that you can only attract women through looks, money, and status BUT why don’t they just focus on smfinding and fulfilling their purpose so that they can attract the right woman that help them fulfill it?

You think the problem is lack of attraction. I see the situation and believe the problem is that women are attracted to the wrong traits.

the_1st_inductionist · 2025-05-30T01:07:41+00:00

I’ve realized that a lot of men complain about relationship issues but never bring up solutions that are reasonable to be successful in relationships.

How do you know that it’s enough men to justify saying a lot?

You know it’s the sort of thing where the men who complain tend to be the men who aren’t good problem solvers in relationships.

lord-moo · 2025-05-30T01:12:46+00:00

with marriage, lawyers and judges are hella locksmiths when it comes to unlocking prenups

with loneliness, we/men etc. try to mean romantic loneliness but get man-up, bootstraps, not everything, or "Yuuuuu Juuust waNt SEXXXXX" and other such derision or obfuscation instead. as such we/men say were lonely (with a asterisk) to avoid bullshit sayings but we then get "make male friends". with self-care, long term loneliness kills whatever desire to be presentable because, what is the point.

with attraction, looks are more important when young which is when you want to get with the opposite sex (to build a life together)before either party becomes jaded or bitter from experience or lack there of.

Fun_Push7168 · 2025-05-30T01:32:25+00:00

Easy, its all abstract, conceptual, and subjective.

Trialbyfuego · 2025-05-30T01:41:31+00:00

Men usually don't have the emotional intelligence or social skills/ experience that women have. (Imo)

Women typically have more friends and focus on their relationships. Men typically have less friends and focus on activities. (Imo(

Men are not as good at navigating relationships in general because of what I said above (in my opinion and there's more to it obviously).

Marriage: you should study tort law. Contracts are easily gotten out of especially those regarding marriage. Women can claim anything like "i didn't know", "he didn't tell me", "well I wouldn't have signed it if I knew how much money he made/ was gonna make in the future", "he intimidated me", "he lied to me" I could go on but yeah. Pre/post nups don't do a lot to protect a man unless the woman doesn't get a lawyer during the divorce.

Loneliness: you're right and as someone who's experiencing some of that right now (again) I'm working on it (again). Complaining solves nothing.

Attraction: "ok I've been busy finding and fulfilling my purpose for the past 6 weeks. Only 6 more years to go until I'm on my way to where i want to be in life. But I really want a girlfriend right now..." Lots of guys know what they need to do but don't want to wait that long, or maybe they're in the process of growth and are not ready for a relationship yet but they ran into someone who they are now interested in and the confidence isn't there yet. Sucks. For me, women are attracted to confident men who have a sense of humor. Being physically attractive is just a plus.

Having no confidence or experience and having awkward interactions with women you're attracted to who awkwardly try to shut down the conversation because it's so uncomfortable can be hurtful to the already vulnerable psyche. Wanting to not go through that again is a valid feeling (that you have to find a way to get past). Also, learning dating etiquette with no help and as a man who is supposed to initiate and make the first move is torture when you've been homeschooled and isolated until 8th grade. I was almost from an alien planet i was so different than the public school kids.

mesalikeredditpost · 2025-05-30T01:53:52+00:00

Because girls react instead of responding like adults know to do yet act as victims when they're creating most relationship issues.

If there's no logic coming from one partner, then men can't solve something like every other issue on earth.

Men have also stated that even after becoming better at communicating that women don't think it's enough in many cases and still misbehave as they did prior.

Prenuptial can be dismissed which should be illegal but isn't.

theogfrankcastle · 2025-05-30T02:09:46+00:00

Because it’s hard to problem-solve something that inherently has quite little tangible solutions.

For a lot of men, you either got it (to attract women) or u dont, and for the latter group, putting huge amounts of effort very often doesn’t bring even a quarter of the results that those who “just have it” get. For example, if everyone could work towards being 6’3 tall, having A+ charisma, completely rearrange how their skull is shaped (ie. looks), getting women wouldn’t be something that’s complained about so much.

You’re looking at men being in a lack of relationships as men being lazy/the problem, but that’s just disingenuous imo. More often than not, they’re not lazy and rather just have nothing to work towards that can actually “ascend” their chances. In short, they’re stuck.

SeemedGood · 2025-05-30T02:11:47+00:00

The Red Pill philosophy addresses all of the issues you highlighted with solutions that work and have proven themselves to do so.

Yet…

Title	Why are Men not good problem solvers when it comes to relationships?!
Author	gokeke
Upvotes	0
Comments	121
Date	May 30, 2025 12:42 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1kyr0rc/why_are_men_not_good_problem_solvers_when_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-are-men-not-good-problem-solvers-when-it-comes.1553455 https://theredarchive.com/post/1553455

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