Hey everyone, Just need to let some of this out and see if anyone relates.

I’m a few years post-divorce, navigating life as a father and trying to rebuild after my ex-wife’s (over three years) affair ended our marriage. While I’ve made a lot of progress—emotionally, professionally, and logistically—I still feel like she holds more of the cards. More financial resources. A bigger support system. A more stable home setup for the kids. And even though we’re co-parenting (in what appears to be peaceful way), that imbalance shows up in a hundred small ways.

From my side, everything feels like a patchwork. I rent, she owns. She lives in a family-friendly area where all the kids’ friends are—I’m just far enough that my place feels like the “off-site” parent zone. I make it work, but I feel like I’m constantly trying to catch up. Like I’m playing a game that was rigged the second she moved on and upgraded her life—while I was left trying to emotionally survive.

What’s hardest is the invisible leash it still creates. I’m free on paper—but so many of my decisions still orbit around her choices. Where she lives. How stable her life looks compared to mine. And sometimes it eats away at my confidence—not just as a man, but as a father.

For anyone who’s been through something similar:

• How did you reclaim your sense of power or identity post-infidelity, post-divorce?

• How do you deal with the silent resentment of always having to adapt to someone else’s structure—for the sake of the kids?

Appreciate any thoughts. Just trying to keep going, rebuild with integrity, and be the best dad I can—despite how lopsided things feel.