Is finding a girlfriend improbable for gen z men?

Which_Ad_3917 · 2025-09-11T18:23:21+00:00

I’m gen Y and the thing I wish I could tell my younger self is: my best memories of my 20s were not with women. Find a few good friends worthy of your time and cherish that.

WackyConundrum · 2025-09-11T17:41:02+00:00

I see many people not being lonely because they have friends, especially groups of other men, even if they are single.

chainmade · 2025-09-11T17:02:23+00:00

These girls are generally really shallow and judgemental, so protect yourself from their selfish and devious tendencies.

Joey3155 · 2025-09-11T17:08:15+00:00

Most women hate men bro. The excuse they weary because of fear is bs because if your scared of someone you wouldn't demean, antagonize, and look down on them. Just focus on yourself, get fit, get a career, save up, and go overseas and try to find a good wife.

ImaginaryComb821 · 2025-09-11T17:01:57+00:00

I would devote your energies to self improvement - not necessarily physically but in terms of career, education, skill mastery etc. build yourself up in a certain arena - some choose physical, but there's your chosen profession, there's hobbies, art and music etc. don't waste energy on what other people are doing /thinking. You can't control them directly. You can only make the best of yourself for yourself and let the interpersonal relationships unfold. But don't focus on it. It's not directly in your control.

5shad · 2025-09-11T17:24:10+00:00

Genetic lottery only comes to a few unfortunately but we all have to make the most of what we are given. I'm assuming you're young, so hit the gym and do whatever it takes to look presentable if you feel you're aren't attractive enough. It's a simple solution that only you can solve. I'd say start tomorrow, find a workout routine (Chatgpt that shit), hit it 4 times a week and make sure you diet a little as well and you're good. You can't change the way people think but you can certainly change yours. Stay positive.

annoyinglyAddicted · 2025-09-11T17:18:59+00:00

Give up on finding a girl. It's not worth it.

XboxeurMan · 2025-09-11T18:18:46+00:00

Unfortunately yes, occident is collapsing as womens are not interesting anymore in finding a boyfriend nether having child's

This is what you get when you allow them to not need mens they either turn lesbians with each others or prefer to stay single

Witoldski · 2025-09-11T20:33:41+00:00

Women love to pretend they are mature and know what they are doing but in reality most of them act in very childish and shallow ways.

Once you begin to understand women, you will lose all romantic attraction for them. They love to virtue-signal that looks don't matter to them as much as your personality. But you found out the hard way that it absolutely matters to them.

I have no solution to give you. If you want to keep dating or looking for a woman, you can keep working on yourself and hope that a woman finds you attractive. Even then you don't know what will be the attitude of that woman. Will she be a feminist, bipolar, narcissist, cringey woke leftist? As you can see dating right now is a mess for men. And marriage is an even more terrible deal.

As for me, I am a divorced man. It's been sometime I have completely given up on dating and pursuing women in real life. If you want to follow this path, you can try alternate options like an AI girlfriend and fly to Bangkok to get your sexual needs met. Beyond that feel free to message me if you want to talk.

Wrang1er · 2025-09-11T18:37:55+00:00

yes, just make the most with what you got bro

Former_Range_1730 · 2025-09-11T19:32:18+00:00

Yeah, if they stick to the reality of what turns women on in a man. The problem is most men don't know how to pin point which demographic of women are into them. They get too bogged down with trying to be seen as a good guy, instead of being realistic about it.

BradenAnderson · 2025-09-11T21:23:52+00:00

I keep saying there is no greater/more effective radicalizer than the “empathetic” and “reasonable” people of this world

Sitheral · 2025-09-12T09:08:55+00:00

Its not a mathematical equation, probable or not doesn't matter. You only need to meet one person who will be right.

Don't think that much about what others might think about you, that's just obstacle and an unnecessary one.

You don't want girlfriend, you want to meet someone who you'll be happy with. So you can forget about what other girls think of you.

Focus on having fun and enjoying yourself.

liferelationshi · 2025-09-11T18:34:51+00:00

Nope, but may have a harder time in USA, Canada, UK, Australia, and New Zealand as opposed to elsewhere.

Da_Famous_Anus · 2025-09-11T19:13:37+00:00

Sick-of-you-tbh · 2025-09-11T19:33:21+00:00

Why even want to at this point?

gauntvariable · 2025-09-11T21:16:34+00:00

women seem disgusted/freaked out by my mere presence

I'm old (and married) now, but I definitely experienced the same when I was young (1990's). I think this is just the way it is for most men in their 20's: if there's any reason to reject you, they will. It gets better in your 30's, although you'll always carry an (understandable IMHO) bitterness that you lost your youth while others were partying.

My son is going through the same thing, and I don't have much good advice to give him other than try to keep his chin up for the next decade or so.

antixwick999 · 2025-09-11T23:16:16+00:00

Well apparently not, you've seen signor events it's entirety women only attending. Majority of men are actively avoiding women

PhulHouze · 2025-09-13T12:04:32+00:00

There’s a few possibilities going on:

Perhaps there’s something you’re doing without realizing it that’s putting them off: do you have body odor or bad breath? Do you stare or sit/stand too close? Hard to say without seeing you or interacting in real life. All I’ll say is that women are much less concerned with physical appearance than men. Also, most people feel ugly at some point in their youth, so you likely are more physically attractive than you think.

Another is that you are basing your idea of what women think on a few who are most extreme. It’s easy to notice the people who have sour attitudes and make lots of noise, while the nice, quiet folks just blend into the background.

I know a lot of guys in this group come from the perspective that all women are terrible and they hate men. There are women like this - too many, in fact. And they’ve gotten a pass to behave badly towards men for too long.

But most women just want a guy who they can talk to and who can take care of them. (Again, a lot of guys in this group consider that unfair. I just consider it nature).

You might consider talking to a counselor because if you have anxiety it can be really hard to meet someone. You feel anxious and it makes those around you feel anxious too, so it’s hard to create strong connections.

bodyisT · 2025-09-11T20:06:00+00:00

Don’t try to find a girlfriend. It’s not worth it. You deserve better

marcoosss · 2025-09-11T16:59:14+00:00

No bro, i swear to you, you'll be fine if you work on the way you look and work on your social skills. The Internet is a cesspool of fake feelings. I promise you real world woman are more attracted to someone who puts in the work to look better than genetics.

I truly understand your feelings bro but theres no shortcuts, hit the cardio, eat better, and volunteer to work on your social skills. After that, people will engage with you more, which will boost your confidence, and your confidence will land you affection

Zhezersheher · 2025-09-11T18:04:28+00:00

quandjereveauxloups · 2025-09-11T21:01:59+00:00

TL;DR: don't listen to people on the internet about dating. Advice on how to improve yourself? Sure. Just check on it first to make sure it's healthy.

So, the first thing you need to do is work on your self-image. The second is to stop worrying about what they think about required reading.

The third, find a hobby or three, and make sure at least one is active. Make sure you're exercising other ways too, to prevent uneven muscles. Also, it's ok to try out different hobbies, but do things you actually like. Don't worry about it being a feminine/masculine thing, do what you enjoy.

Fourth, stop worrying about finding a significant other. Just enjoy your life. Study hard, get some exercise, and have some fun with a hobby or two.

Chances are, you'll find yourself making some new friends and getting into new friend groups. As a side-effect, that opens the amount of known available women.

Now. And this is the most important: don't listen to people on the internet about dating. Advice on how to improve yourself? Sure. Just check on it first to make sure it's healthy.

But how to date? I've seen people find someone shortly after they stopped looking. I've seen people find someone after a long search. You never know how it's going to happen, or if it ever will.

The best thing you can do is not stress over it. One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was: if you can't be happy with yourself, you can't be happy with someone else.

But enjoy your life, plan your life both with and without someone, and go live.

petrichorandcamphor · 2025-09-11T21:03:05+00:00

If I was in Gen z I’d avoid women my own age and try to date older millennial women. I think there’s a noticeable change in the attitudes of women towards men about midway through the millennial generation that’s probably linked directly to increased social media use during development.

From a Birds Eye view, they seem to enjoy shaming men in front of other women more than they enjoy actually dating men. Their behavior is genuinely toxic and I wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pole.

Adventurous_Design73 · 2025-09-11T22:44:08+00:00

sunshinehappiness447 · 2025-09-11T23:00:27+00:00

I wouldn’t say it’s a man v woman thing I think we as a generation don’t interact with each other as other people did in the past I go to college and the sheer lack of social interaction is insane. No one talks to each other or answers questions so I doubt they would have the confidence to talk to someone they actually find interesting

MyFeetLookLikeHands · 2025-09-12T19:25:48+00:00

best advice you can get is to do all the normal stuff people recommend - be personable, workout, blah blah – but the most important thing to do especially since you’re young is to figure out how to make as much money as possible.

dudester3 · 2025-09-13T03:14:15+00:00

Old Boomer here. Things have changed dramatically in 50 years, and not for the better. Delve into your hobbies, develop connections outside of romance, and ENJOY THE STORM!!

downvotevillain · 2025-09-17T18:47:55+00:00

Women have always been socialized to be picky but it’s gotten unsustainable in the past 10-20 years. The advent of social media has taught women to have unrealistically high standards for romantic partners both looks and personality wise. Also, while social media has almost universally been used to empower women of all shapes, sizes, appearances and personalities, it’s pretty much demonized men who don’t meet strict standards of masculinity and appearance. Not to mention the proliferation of “therapy talk” on platforms like tic toc which has led to the pathologizing of everything and normalized a lot of behaviors for women that would be seen as unhealthy in any other context.

So yeah, basically ideals that were seen as unrealistic 20 years ago are now taken as a given, and it’s led to a massive drop in romantic relationships. The stats back this up too. (https://www.americansurveycenter.org/newsletter/how-bad-is-americas-romantic-recession/)

This all doesn’t even mention the economic factors, women, at least subconsciously, still expect to be economically supported by men, you can see this in the “red flag” chart for unemployment.

So yeah, it’s not you, don’t worry. I would just focus on building healthy friendships. You’d be surprised how far that can take you.

Maleficent-Toe1374 · 2025-09-18T10:15:51+00:00

No not improbable at all. I mean I'm sure that men have to work harder now to get women than in your grandparent's day but I would never say it's impossible.

Really if you look at the median guy with a girlfriend do you really imagine some 6'3 gigachad with a hyperjawline or whatever? Probably not, most people are "mid" in the grand scheme of things and the best way for men to be successful with women I've found is for them to feel seen and heard and to have some common interests.

Also trying to gage the dating world by a sample of girls in a university English class is certainly a choice

cseke02 · 2025-09-11T17:55:57+00:00

I’m ‘02 gen z, married since last year, been in this relationship since 2019. Stop focusing on the stuff that’s outside your control (like your height or what women read), instead try being better version of who you were yesterday.

Upstairs_Ear4172 · 2025-09-11T16:58:24+00:00

Genuinely, you're fine. Just look around your peers, look at the people you know in real life rather than the internet, young people have partners. Women are dating men and men are dating women despite what bitter people may say online.

I am a similar age (22) and height to you and I have been in fulfilling relationships with lovely women and so have many young men. It sounds so cliche but your personality is what matters, just be a genuinely nice person and you will be fine

Outrageous_penguin89 · 2025-09-11T19:55:42+00:00

“I’m 20, need money, will do anything online… no irl meet-ups 😘 but I don’t mind sending things via post if you’re lucky 💋.”

Nalyd87 · 2025-09-12T04:17:33+00:00

It's not worth the trouble.

Love is dead

KnownTemporary8135 · 2025-09-19T00:09:08+00:00

https://chng.it/vCrwZyK7K4

infinitofluxo · 2025-09-11T17:09:01+00:00

It depends a lot on where you live, in which culture too. I am just a common guy and I know I could find a girl but not the kind I like, so I prefer to stay single, as having sex with people I don't really like being around with is not worth it to me anymore.

So not getting a girl is not a problem of only not being able to draw interest from those available in your area, but also being able to develop and keep a relationship with the ones you find. A lot of people are turning undatable with all those new mentalities being spread in social media.

Despite trying to get something going in your life and enhancing your self care, figuring out the kind of girl that would make you life more enjoyable is more important than "getting a girl". I wasted too much time and health with people that didn't deserve anything from me, cause we get used to believe all women are complex and hard to deal with. I would say specially now.

aharwelclick · 2025-09-12T04:03:27+00:00

Save money
Buy assets
Go to the Philippines and meet a wife.

Women from the west are cooked

IceCorrect · 2025-09-11T20:09:00+00:00

They dont hate those men, they lust after them

PastDifficulty7 · 2025-09-11T23:07:06+00:00

If you think your only mildly ugly, then I am going to assume you are reasonably attractive. We are our own worst critics. I've heard it said many times that old people wished they could appreciate how beautiful they were while they were still young.

I hate to say it; some guys are just a long burn. Sometimes, it just takes longer to notice the quiet, considerate guys. That might your journey, but finding the right partner who loves you for who you are is worth the wait.

Learning to love yourself and being confident in who you are is one of the most important things you can do to prepare yourself for a relationship. It relieves your partner of the responsibility of care-taking your insecurities. Loving yourself is not impossible. You sound like an awesome dude, and the kind of person I would have been friends with in college. I hope you find your tribe of people who will build you up. Sending good thoughts, and manifesting that you find your people.

CommodoreGirlfriend · 2025-09-12T01:07:32+00:00

It's improbable, not because you're 5'8" specifically, it's just generally improbable for nearly everyone. You're right to worry about the indoctrination in schools. It has been going on since the 1970s here. There's not much to do about that other than try not to stand out too much, or otherwise make yourself an easy target for false accusations.

LateralThinker13 · 2025-09-12T20:32:25+00:00

1 Abundance Mentality. Stop chasing women (it's unsexy), work on yourself.

2 Get competent at something, look competent (work out, better clothes, fix your hair/skin/etc) and a non-zero number of women will be open to your charms.

3 Bonus points for joining a group like Toastmasters where you learn to talk fast and glibly to strangers (again, competence/confidence). Learn an instrument (guitar or voice) and get good - great in social settings.

alginate_de_sodium · 2025-09-11T17:02:38+00:00

Know already that the majority of women do not hate men, we are just wary because we have all been attacked before, but when we get to know the person the distrust disappears (or strengthens if you are dangerous). It's not just the media that causes this fear, it's especially the personal experience and that of our friends.

Then, don't despair, but don't be impatient either. If you're really ugly, know that it's not a big obstacle, look at the couples in the street and you'll see that the majority are not hot. What can be especially annoying is your personality, if you are shy, fragile, frail, unpleasant, not funny, slightly misguided... This will very quickly turn off the vast majority of women.

The best advice I can give you is to develop yourself. Learn to socialize, beautify yourself (suitable clothes, face cream, pretty hairstyle, etc.), gain confidence in yourself, go meet people.

Our generation is not as rotten as many claim, you are just "chronically online", incapable of seeing reality, convinced that redpill and extreme feminist accounts are the real world.

hockeyhockey13579 · 2025-09-11T16:56:17+00:00

maybe the fact that women can now choose to not be with undesirable mates is a good thing unlike the old days of forced marriages?

RedPillAlphaBigCock · 2025-09-11T19:39:10+00:00

There are still millions of amazing women out there . Do your best for looks and confidence and authenticity.

You have plenty of time to find a good one , and o believe you will have an amazing relationship, just do the work

weatherinfo · 2025-09-14T17:12:27+00:00

Try only being able to tolerate conservatives. 10x difficulty

funnybillypro · 2025-09-11T17:52:55+00:00

It is totally probable...if that Gen Z man has the right mindset about relationships. Honestly, "trying to get a girlfriend" is probably not a good "strategy." As Jon Stewart often anecdotes about what a political advisor for a politician said before taping many many years ago: So you're saying the strategy...is authenticity?

Don't worry about the strategy. Worry first about getting your head on straight. Good things follow that, and planned intentions can come afterwards. If you focus on strategy without good fundamentals, it's gonna fall apart every time. Ask athletes.

Being a socially aware man who also eats pussy is going to carry a Gen Z man far.

And part of that is not openly weeping for a media figure who insisted that women should be subservient to men.

You got a much smaller dating pool (and just a whole different set of problems and stresses that you'll have to own on your own rather than share with a partner) if you're focused on trad wives.

Don't figure out how to "get a girlfriend." Focus, as a *young* man, on being a better man. Trust the process.

Foot_Positive · 2025-09-11T16:59:46+00:00

Try focusing on improving yourself (e.g. income, fitness, skills, independence) and the women will come. Maybe join a club where you at least have a similar interest. Once you gain more confidence and stop worrying about what other people think people become more attracted to you.

Codename-18 · 2025-09-11T20:31:36+00:00

I'm 5'9, 40 years old and my notch count is high-end 3 digits. So spit that fucking black pill and move somewhere else

Title	Is finding a girlfriend improbable for gen z men?
Author	AccordingParsley2683
Upvotes	170
Comments	119
Date	September 11, 2025 4:47 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1nedv0e/is_finding_a_girlfriend_improbable_for_gen_z_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/is-finding-a-girlfriend-improbable-for-gen-z-men.1561792 https://theredarchive.com/post/1561792

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