How much alimony?

SpaceFish24-7 · 2025-10-23T13:59:16+00:00

I dont get it- they are too lazy to work or too broken ( mental or emotional health wrecks ). So they get rewarded? Like wtf

Gattsama · 2025-10-23T11:12:56+00:00

WA for Mid-Length marriages( 5-25 years) you get one year support for every 3 to 4 years of marriage. Above 25 years/ long-term marriages its individualized to the couple.

Ultimately, spousal support ends. The money that you give up and equity. You'll earn it again. Even if you don't, you can always make more money, you cannot make more time. The peace on the other side of this is well worth it.

Sorry for the drama brother

sethFried · 2025-10-23T10:46:45+00:00

Anybody know about ny state? 15 years and two kids. She barely works and I cover all of the bills.

pk2at · 2025-10-23T03:24:16+00:00

If you are close to retirement, do it early and show zero income

No-Regular7731 · 2025-10-23T02:47:01+00:00

In Ohio here. 1 year alimony for every 3 married. After 20 years it’s up to judge.

engineered-chemistry · 2025-10-23T00:27:09+00:00

You made the right choice. In my state anything over 10 years is considered long term and could be permanent alimony. Judge’s discretion!

Zarroc6669 · 2025-10-23T00:06:27+00:00

I negotiated 7.5 years on a 21 yr marriage.

Subtle-Catastrophe · 2025-10-22T21:41:58+00:00

Oh, you made the smart choice. It hurts, but it's going to hurt half as much.

The fact that alimony is even a "thing" in this era of girl bosses roaming the land, righting wrongs and beating misogynists to a pulp, is bewildering.

ColdEstablishment172 · 2025-10-22T18:30:07+00:00

Curious how you got off the hook for lifetime alimony? What state are you in?

Acceptable_Piano4809 · 2025-10-22T18:04:29+00:00

How old are you? For 26 years, they could have tagged you for life a lot of places.

Positive_Rub_6696 · 2025-10-22T17:10:28+00:00

Probably depends on a NUMBER of factors, including your income, how you divide your current assets, what she agrees to, and what state you're in.

I was married 20 years in CA, and wife hadn't worked in probably 15 years. She had been a program manager at a major utility and actually made more money than I did before she quit to be a SAHM. No college degree.

When we divorced, she stipulated to earning minimum wage (which reduced how much I had to pay for SS and CS), and in the final judgement, they included a "Gavron Warning." I think it's a CA thing, but in short it says "The supported party would make reasonable effort to become self-supporting in a reasonable amount of time." This limited my exposure to SS "for life."

Suffice it to say that 6mo after CS ended, and she had made little to no effort (no school, and no employment at all), I filed to end SS. She didn't fight it, and it ended after 6 years for me.

YMMV

I will say, I wasted probably 8 years staying miserably married because I thought I'd be paying SS for life. Frankly, even if I had to continue to pay, it would be worth it. It's hard to put a price on peace.

enginerd12 · 2025-10-22T16:59:30+00:00

Reading about these alimony stories only reinforces that I'm grateful my STBXW makes about the same amount of money I do, and that I definitely will be picking another career-oriented woman with high earning potential the next time around.

The monthly payments I see floating around seem damn near criminal.

carbondog54 · 2025-10-22T16:38:45+00:00

Sounds like you made a reasonable trade-off, man. Seven years after a 26-year marriage isn’t unusual — a lot of states base it roughly on length of marriage and earning gap, so it could’ve easily been longer.

You basically bought yourself peace of mind by capping the timeline, and that’s worth a lot. As long as the deal lets you move forward without financial strain, you probably did the right thing. It’s normal to second-guess it, but seven years sounds fair in the big picture.

Mangrove43 · 2025-10-22T16:18:16+00:00

I negotiated 12 years instead of lifetime

NoSandwich5997 · 2025-10-22T16:06:24+00:00

In Florida it depends on the length of the marriage. A marriage of < 10 years results in alimony up to 50% of the length, marriage of 10-20 years is up to 60% of the length, and a marriage of > 20 years is up to 75% of the length.

The amount is the lesser of the recipient’s “reasonable need” or 35% of the difference in net incomes.

I was married almost 23 years, and am paying $4500/month for 14 years. This was negotiated between us, not court ordered.

so0vixnbmsb11 · 2025-10-22T15:53:23+00:00

Mine declined alimony even after the judge suggested she get it. Seeing all these makes me grateful.

NothingIsEverEnough · 2025-10-22T15:40:50+00:00

You’re lucky you’re not in for a lifetime. Yes, worth it!!

Snowbirdy · 2025-10-22T15:22:53+00:00

You easily could have wound up with lifetime alimony depending on which state you are in. California it kicks in after 10 years.

thriller1122 · 2025-10-22T15:04:52+00:00

Depends on the state obviously, but once you hit 20 years lifetime alimony comes into play in a lot of states. 7 years is a long time, but I have to think that its better than a lot of the alternatives you could have faced. Add to that the considerations that ARENT financial. Like, you will be good to go after 7 years. Hard to put a price on that. What is done is done, you made your decision. Don't spend too much time second guessing it. You can drive yourself crazy.

Title	How much alimony?
Author	gratefulstudent76
Upvotes	9
Comments	34
Date	October 22, 2025 2:58 PM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1odam77/how_much_alimony/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-much-alimony.1564747 https://theredarchive.com/post/1564747

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