How often woman tell other woman that they have unrealistic expectations in Dating?

My_House_on_Mars · 2025-11-17T15:41:05+00:00

it's pretty common conversation in my experience

Once on vacation we were walking through a very rich neighborhood and we were commenting on the houses. I liked them all and my friend would always find something she didn't like in these unatainable mansions. SO I told her "this is your issue with men". We still joke about that to this day.

Brilliant-Block-8200 · 2025-11-17T18:17:47+00:00

Tbh, I think it heavily depends on individual social circles. In my closes friend group, we absolutely have always called out unrealistic or ‘stupid’ expectations. Typically tho, if a friend doesn’t talk much about her dating life and has unrealistic expectations—it’s not a problem. When they start complaining over and over about not finding anyone, I’ve seen them get called out for it (or at least questioned on if specific ‘standards’ are actually necessary). Just my experience anyways

Personally, I’ve stopped hanging out with women who have unrealistic expectations and keep complaining about being single and who take on pretty toxic views of men. Fortunately, I haven’t met many women like this

cb8585b · 2025-11-17T17:43:44+00:00

Never needed to. The women I’m around never seem to be lacking in options.

That said I also don’t know many women who are holding out for a billionaire Adonis either despite what men have deluded themselves into.

What my single friends say is they would rather be single though.

half_avocado33 · 2025-11-17T15:18:48+00:00

Ok, so i have this friend and she genuinely likes a guy with money. Big money, not some programmer money. I'm talking about investor money, enough to buy a yacht. Also, she liked them older, some 5-10 years age gap. But he must not look old. And she is 6' and wanted a guy way taller than her.

She's a bit overweight, can have babies only through IVF because she lost an ovary after a miscarriage and isn't the type to tolerate bs. She worked as a careiver for an old couple and abandoned college.

Now, anyone would say she is delusional, that she has unrealistic expectations. Yet, she found her rich, tall guy and has 2 children through IVF.

So, how unrealistic were her expectations if she found someone who met them and married her?

Tylikcat · 2025-11-17T19:23:00+00:00

I'm curious - are you saying that men get humbled by other men?

Oli_love90 · 2025-11-18T05:35:18+00:00

Depends on who:

Social media? Absolutely clocked plus some decent advice and anecdotes from strangers.

Friends and family? When asked, they will. I’ve had candid convos with those people in my life and they’ve highlighted some of my flaws and expectations. I usually appreciate it.

That being said normal women don’t usually have unrealistic standards. Idk why ya’ll don’t believe life humbles everyone real quick. Especially if you’re below average.

Lemon_gecko · 2025-11-17T16:24:02+00:00

Sometimes, but we also understand that there is no point otherwise.

waffleznstuff30 · 2025-11-17T15:45:32+00:00

Not very often.

I say this because most of the time outside of social media most women's expectations are pretty realistic.

I'm into him. He doesn't treat me like crap. We have stuff in common. I enjoy their company.

sablesalsa · 2025-11-17T20:21:19+00:00

I firmly believe that personality, goals, and values are what you should be focused on, so I'm never going to tell someone that they're unrealistic in terms of liking someone "out of their league."

I'll tell someone they're being unrealistic if they expect a Disney romance with an unflawed partner, if they're being strung along/treated badly with no actual progress being made, if they have what I think is an unhealthy mindset, or if they think they can make a relationship work with a big incompatibility (he wants kids and she doesn't).

I'd be a shitty friend if I told someone they weren't attractive enough or whatever for the guy they liked. It's not my place to decide that guy's standards for himself, and more than that, it's none of my business.

toasterchild · 2025-11-17T21:57:38+00:00

People who are judgmental and superficial don't tend to be people I enjoy spending time with so it's not generally an issue. With my friends it's more likely that Id say not to sell themselves short.

Some of my coworkers tho, hoo dang it can be hard not to comment or make jokes.

attendquoi · 2025-11-17T17:28:36+00:00

I don't really see it as any of my business. None of my friends were ever dating from a position of desperation, anyway.

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KarenEiffel · 2025-11-17T17:33:31+00:00

In my group of 6 girl friends, 2 of them can be a little unrealistic, overly picky or demanding in certain aspects in dating. They're also the only 2 that are single. We're all in our early 40s now and have know each other for decades. The other 4 of us have, over the years, pointed out these things to them (gently and in the appropriate context) but it hasn't seemed to make any difference so we've essentially stopped.

Obvious_Smoke3633 · 2025-11-18T11:54:59+00:00

In my friend group? Never. Womens standards are pretty low in general. My friends who aren't married are happy with guys who aren't disgusting, have a job, have a car, and live on their own. Most women I know settle for even less than that like single dads, fat guys, or broke guys. The bar is usually in hell.

lesliecarbone · 2025-11-18T12:14:18+00:00

In my experience, never. It's not like looking for a job, where you might have to settle due to your circumstances, at least temporarily. Women don't need men, so there's no reason to settle for anyone who's not going to make our lives more pleasant.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2025-11-19T04:47:56+00:00

Depends on whether she wants a relationship or not

I know a girl who knows that she has unrealistic dating expectations

She also isn't actively looking anymore. So what's the point?

Title	How often woman tell other woman that they have unrealistic expectations in Dating?
Author	Ok_Cook_3098
Upvotes	15
Comments	87
Date	November 16, 2025 4:01 PM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1oypcw9/how_often_woman_tell_other_woman_that_they_have/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-often-woman-tell-other-woman-that-they-have.1566712 https://theredarchive.com/post/1566712

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