Redpill teaches men things to avoid but is extremely damaging to having real relationships

Logos1789 · 2025-12-19T23:26:57+00:00

OP has an incredibly low opinion of men and their ability to apply their media literacy when consuming RP content.

We aren’t empty vessels, absorbing each and every assertion that’s made without a second thought.

We aren’t without personal experiences that fit in with many RP concepts, either.

Not being glued to your phone to reply to your girl, ensuring that you aren’t being taken advantage of, and being desirable enough on the dating market to induce implicit dread in your girl, is not going to ruin anything worth keeping.

LysanderAegis · 2025-12-19T14:49:48+00:00

I'm not sure about current trends but what I remember from the RP was about describing intersexual dynamics among men and women. Knowing about that dynamics hasn't prevented me from having a healthy relationship with my girlfriend.

EasternCut8716 · 2025-12-20T09:05:18+00:00

I think there is a problem that much of feminism is really patriarchal.

The little success I have had when talking lads back who have are going a little red pill involves acknowledging that many of the things they see are real. The manflu thing is nonsense and women are likely to be annoyed at their man being ill. Women really will find you less attractive if you are poor, will massively exaggerate how much they do around the house, and women will lie to themselves and others about these things and such.

The question Redpill fails to ask is why women are like this and the answers are pretty straight forward and reasonable. The social pressures on women are massive and people are a whole are often keen to reinforce their own gender identity (women will make themselves out to be the helpless maiden in peril and men like the all powerful knight in shining armour).

And, most men are also rather scared of men who are sexually interested in them, it will be even more scary for women.

The issue is that many progressive people are not really feminist, they really want more benevolent sexism. And that is BS and disguises the pressures that women really are under, as it pretends that women are under huge social pressure and simultaneously has no effect on them at all.

columbo_mayne · 2025-12-19T15:08:39+00:00

I think one of the heartbreaking things about RP stuff is that it's fed to young men - by which I mean like, guys 12-22 internalize this stuff and have all the bitterness and weight of a 50 year old guy with two divorces under his belt.

When you're young it is okay to a) trust women naïvely and b) get your heart broken in the right way, and instead you've got 15 year olds looking out for gold diggers - like bro just buy her the slurpee at 7/11, give her a little kiss and be happy for as long as life lets you.

TheOneWhoThinketh · 2025-12-19T18:17:22+00:00

Ignoring your girl when she texts you or when shes mad, being hyper transactional, and making her constantly dread you cheating on her is a really good way to scare off any girl who had a halfway decent father figure.

This is true, but not necessarily redpill behavior. This is how autistic men interpret redpill, as a series of algorithms and rules to follow, and then get confirmation bias from the bipolar women that this works on.

You shouldn't ignore a woman's emotions, but you should ignore what she says and pay attention to how she feels. Women will tell you this themselves. "It's not what you said, but how you made me feel!"

If you do things women don't like, they will punish you for it. Women are terrified of rejection, and if you force them to directly communicate anything that they might be rejected for, they will prefer to avoid you. The point is not to play random games with women where you measure all transactions on your terms, but instead to understand the game they want you play, and participate in it with them.

Similarly, making a woman dread you cheating on her is a surefire way to attract insecure women. The point is not to make her dread you cheating on her, the point is that you have to condition her with fear and reward, because women overwhelmingly prefer that to direct communication. In this case meaning that expressing that you'll never cheat on her verbally is pointless, because she will ultimately judge you based on what she feels regardless. You have to demonstrate to her non-verbally that you could cheat on her for her to believe it.

But I'll agree with your point about n-count. Men and women are both affected by previous partners in many ways. The only difference is that men can be sexually attracted to multiple women simultaneously, whereas for women their attraction to one man competes with their attraction to another. Of course, there is much more to relationships than sexual attraction, but it is the foundation of a romantic relationship.

In general, red pill covers how women behave sexually both in and out of relationships. It's just that the men who need this the most tend to be autistic, and so try to codify rules and algorithms of behavior with women rather than understanding general principles.

Independent-Mail-227 · 2025-12-19T17:32:59+00:00

Your post is made on top of nothing but a bunch of unfalsifiable claims with no ideas presented being discussion worth.

Women are more likely to settle for ugly guys than men are for ugly women and are (except at very young ages) less likely to cheat

1- how do you know

2- women see ~60% of men where men see ~20% of women as, so by virtue of random chance your argument is moot

3- what you define as "young age" can pretty much say that they're old and unable to not that they decide to not do.

N_Count_Council · 2025-12-19T22:10:54+00:00

You can dread women without actually needing to threaten cheating; just being attractive is dread enough. If she knows other women want you, that changes the relationship dynamic completely.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2025-12-19T14:23:09+00:00

Red pill was always about trying to pull casual sex (from US bars and clubs at the turn of the century).

It was always about acting shallow and self centered because it was all about that life.

Pristine_Ad_982 · 2025-12-19T14:41:18+00:00

Yes, a girl whose had less sexual experience is generally more likely to pair-bond
-this one is not true and is an overgeneralization
like what u said at the end about virginity, lust and pair bonding are usually separated pathways in the brain so a virgin might be more curious about other men because of her lack of experience

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Axis_Control · 2025-12-19T19:15:30+00:00

I swear I dated a redpill guy once.

I had like one or two dates with him and he started complaining that I wasn't all over him and seducing him.

Was bizzare. I stopped dating him. Lol

kvakerok_v2 · 2025-12-20T07:15:19+00:00

> when shes mad

Alexa, what is boundaries.

Werevulvi · 2025-12-20T12:55:30+00:00

Yes, I think it's fine and important to acknowledge general facts about how the dating market works, and what will generally be to your advantage vs disadvantage, and knowing what kinda women you want to attract vs avoid. But taken to the extreme it can be detrimental for a relationship to be healthy and sustainable. You gotta be able to work together as a team at least on some level, and also maintain independence to some extent, in order to have success in relationships.

Some of the advice red pill influencers give is solid and totally fine, like be a good leader and take charge for example, but some of it can be pretty damn unhinged, like some who promote cheating for men for example. But I think also a lot of the times the problem isn't the advice per se, but the execution. Desperation can make people use good advice in bad ways. Like for example with looksmaxing, it's generally great to take better care of your appearance and health, as women generally prefer well-groomed and healthy looking men, but if you're obsessing about every inch of your body that will likely come off as vain and off-putting.

Personal_Voice_9512 · 2025-12-20T16:56:37+00:00

I remember originally the red pill was about getting casual sex. It was explicitly stated it wasn’t about maintaining a healthy relationship

tHiShiTiStooPID · 2025-12-21T14:14:50+00:00

The most damaging concept, in the red pill, to relationships is AWALT. If you recognize a particular set of tendencies women have that are influenced heavily by evolutionary psychology, then it’s your job to screen for those issues in a potential partner, because the way a woman manifests those tendencies or responds to those evolutionary forces will be different for every woman. But when you tell me an absolutism - AWALT, or “All Women Are Like That,” you eliminate the possibility of seeing the variance in women’s response to those evolutionary forces. When referencing a population as large as “all women living today and who have ever lived.” only a fool would believe you could make an absolute statement about their behavior. Statistical science easily destroys the idea that generalizations about the behavior of such a massive population would require that a man’s anecdotal experience be with so many women to be accurate that it would be impossible to achieve. Just because all the women you chose to date have behaved a particular way does not mean AWALT, it more than likely means you chose those women based on preferences you have that are consistent with the behavior you are discussing. Just like women who tend to choose bad boys who cheat and treat them like shit. It’s not accurate to say all women make those choices. Not by a long shot.

3ONEthree · 2025-12-24T13:54:30+00:00

Spoken like a betabux. Most religious readings are rubbish and doesn’t cater to contemporary conditions of time & place.

DietTyrone · 2025-12-19T17:43:42+00:00

I get what you're saying, and I think the crux of the issue is that the advice is meant for early vetting. It doesn't make as much sense trying to apply these things 2+ years into a relationship.

Red flags are just warning signs of potential problems, they're not a guarantee something will go wrong. If you start dating someone and miss/ignore red flags, date that person for years, marry that person, at a certain point those red flags stop being relevant. The relationship itself should now serve as proof if you're compatible or not. There's no point in trying to find a problem where there isn't one if the relationship has been good and still is.

BurbNBougie · 2025-12-20T04:30:12+00:00

Do red pilled men even get fulfilling relationships? Do they even have friends. They seem miserable. Like everything seems tainted in misogyny. Their relationship advice to other men makes those men stay in relationship hell. Bc women like me highlight the toxicity of RP men. So many women in my networks avoid these types.

The_Forgotten001 · 2025-12-20T06:37:54+00:00

The redpill gurus are out to make money, if you’re successful then they can’t keep making money.

They will tell you how to attract insecure women, but not tell you how to keep them.

Redpill was supposed to be a tool box not an instruction set. It’s purpose was solely for hookups, it was anti-relationship. For that you would have to follow married redpill which advocates for a captain-first mate dynamic

Prior-Impression-871 · 2025-12-19T15:39:47+00:00

Yes to all this. I've been having this thought for a long time

My boyfriend isn't exactly a red-piller but you can tell he's been around online and sympathises with certain beliefs

I love that guy, for his personality (not that particular aspect of it though) and looks, I've stayed through some financial insecurities. I've never given him cause to doubt me

These behaviours you're talking about have only ever made me sad, angry, and caused arguments. It's not even hard to pinpoint where they're coming from - women know what manosphere is, you know. Everyone and their mother knows

Is redpill really useful in getting a girlfriend? I don't know. But it's a very good way to make her hate your miserable ass

Title	Redpill teaches men things to avoid but is extremely damaging to having real relationships
Author	Revolutionary-Swim24
Upvotes	17
Comments	120
Date	December 19, 2025 7:49 AM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1pqfeqa/redpill_teaches_men_things_to_avoid_but_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/redpill-teaches-men-things-to-avoid-but-is.1569233 https://theredarchive.com/post/1569233

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