Amy Poehler explains how men are never expected to do and be everything like women are. Quite genuinely "you wouldn't understand what it's like to be a woman".

blndcavefsh · 2014-08-30T15:27:35+00:00

"But I understand what it's like to be a man."

Grubnar · 2014-08-30T16:59:16+00:00

Wow ... I feel like I should point out that there is a world of difference between what she actually said, and what self-appointed feminists are saying she said.

Seriously! Just watch that video clip, is only one minute.

Then read the article, it feels like every other word is "feminism". It does not actually say much about Amy. And the comments. Jesus Christ! It only took like three comments until they started mentioning rape.

TL:DR Amy Poehler makes a reasonable comment about how today society makes unreasonable demands to men and women. Feminists blow it all out of proportions!

osirusr · 2014-08-30T16:57:44+00:00

That's true. We don't. And she doesn't understand what it's like to be a man. That's why civil discourse and dialogue is essential.

DavidByron2 · 2014-08-30T16:48:03+00:00

Privileged narcissism by a rich white woman.

Azrael-sama · 2014-08-30T16:05:00+00:00

Amy Poehler explains how men are never expected to do and be everything like women are.

PfffftHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

That's fucking rich. Thanks Amy, I needed a good laugh today. I'll remember what you said the next time somebody thinks that I'm a failure as a man because there was something I couldn't do for them that fell ever-so-slightly outside of my domain of expertise.

I think this lady has a bit of growing-up to do, her ignorance is showing.

moderndaycassiusclay · 2014-08-30T17:35:08+00:00

Everybody getting mad and calling her twat should actually watch the video and see what she actually said because she's been horribly misrepresented by this catch line, and the article written.

Ultramegasaurus · 2014-08-30T16:47:14+00:00

Absolutely ludicrous.

It's only one aspect, but dating is a great and easily understandable way to see what's expected from women and what's expected from men in order to obtain happiness: Men are expected to offer a myriad of qualities to be deemed a worthy romantic partner: he must be handsome, have a stable job, have an interesting life and strike a delicate balance between civility/kindness and assertiveness. In the relationship itself, he's expected to take charge, pamper her and support her in all imaginable ways. If the relationship ends, he usually gets the blame. On the other hand, for women it's often enough to not look absolutely hideous and not be absolutely insufferable. Women are taught they all are desireable by default and that men who refuse them are superficial, sexist and vile. Men however are taught they must go out of their way to please women. If they don't, they deserve eternal loneliness and ridicule.

Ma99ie · 2014-08-30T16:53:48+00:00

Expected to do by whom? Women should stop blaming men for the way they treat each other.

xNOM · 2014-08-30T16:17:37+00:00

I don't think Amy Poehler understands what it's like to actually have agency.

Arakin · 2014-08-30T17:23:24+00:00

I hate to bring some almost /r/redpill stereotyping to this conversation, but it really seems to me in my experience on this Earth, that women feel in general like their feelings are more valid than mens feelings, and are indicative of the way the world works. If Amy feels X from her life, then suddenly X is a universal truth that all women feel. Women feel so much more entitled to speak on the behalf of all women. I rarely see men speaking on behalf of all men.

WhoStoleTheKarma · 2014-08-30T18:39:02+00:00

Men have it tough. Women have it tough. People have it tough. Gender doesn't give you some kind of unique advantage or disadvantage in life.

sudo_rm_onering · 2014-08-30T17:32:37+00:00

Yeah we have way higher standards and put more pressure on women. That must be why women have historically higher rates of suicide. Wait...

MrStateTheObviouss · 2014-08-30T20:09:21+00:00

She just lost all my respect.

bat_mayn · 2014-08-30T21:11:27+00:00

Yes, because men never have their feet held to the fire. They gain their positions simply because they are men, and for no other reason. They create and lead extremely successful businesses and champion incredible technology only because "it's a man's world". If only men would stop being misogynists, it would allow women to do the same things..

Men never have to sacrifice, never have to walk a tightrope of integrity and challenge. It's just a free ride, man. I mean it's not like men die much earlier than women or anything. That must just be genetics and not at all an indicator of the high-stress environment they put themselves in to be leaders and men.

2014-08-30T22:09:34+00:00

expected to do and be everything like women are

Hold on just a second...isn't that a feminist outcome? I'm pretty sure women weren't expected to bring home the bacon 50 years ago.

So basically she is complaining that men don't know what it is like to be victims of feminism? I beg to differ.

Sirdannykins · 2014-08-30T22:23:56+00:00

Because guys don't spend their whole lives living up to a cavalcade of expections. Nope thats a girl only thing.

A_User · 2014-08-30T20:07:14+00:00

Great, now lets hear her tell us what being a man is like.

sizzletron · 2014-08-30T17:52:50+00:00

Why these women seem to think men made these magical goals for women to act or be like is beyond me. Are they asking for fucking help or what?!??! Say the words out loud: "We've been taken hostage by lunatics. Send help!"

tectonic9 · 2014-08-30T18:07:32+00:00

Eh, sure people are expected to navigate between extremes: be assertive but not a full on asshole, act sexy but not easy, be manly but not a mach chest-thumper, be considerate but not a weak pushover, be financially responsible but not a cheapskate, enjoy food but avoid gluttony, and a thousand other examples.

Most of these things are reasonably easy to navigate if you can develop some social perception, delay gratification, and avoid acting on every feeling or urge. Some of these apply more to men, some apply more to women. It's reasonable to remind each other that on a certain issue men or women may face more social pressure to balance their path, but the general pattern of social expectations and prohibitions has symmetry.

Panoolied · 2014-08-30T19:43:42+00:00

"femsplains"

jimmybrite · 2014-08-30T22:44:29+00:00

She's still butthurt about hitchen's comments.

Mel_Gibsons_Sanity · 2014-08-31T02:18:51+00:00

This is what I can't stand about media. A woman says something the is completely relevant (feelings) to, oh, I don't know.. every human being, and it's somehow incredible and groundbreaking or something for women.

Tech_Itch · 2014-08-30T18:03:32+00:00

I'm pretty sure they just both pointed out what being a human is like, while thinking it's somehow specific to their gender, or a new thing.

We all get conflicting expectations, and have conflicting expectations for ourselves. You're suppose to be all of the things, but not too much of them. And everyone you meet has a different definition of "too much".

dinosaurier420blaze · 2014-08-30T21:38:57+00:00

I just started watching Parks and recreation. I wish I didn't know this.

Shoveldove · 2014-08-30T22:13:02+00:00

Not going to be a popular opinion, but lets face it, she is right to an extent.

A woman today is faced with impossible standards. We can argue about why, and who is behind it, but my take is this: Feminism is crucifying women.

No longer is it enough to want to raise kids, or be content with being the best in one area. Now women are expected by feminists and feminism to be super women. This is creating a lot of anxiety. Of course, a byproduct of this is that men are scapegoated by feminists for being unable to have it all, because feminists never ask questions they don't want answers to, namely, men have never had it all.

So on one hand you can see the disconnect with reality. Poehler has no idea what it's like to be a man. what burdens men face. And at the same time she's being told she could do it all, only men are holding her and others back. Yet somehow the drug abuse, mental illness and suicide of men is completely ignored. Worse, you are demonized if you bring it up and ask if this is what women really want-- to be men?

dejour · 2014-08-30T17:57:55+00:00

Yeah, I think it's naive of her to think that men haven't had to try to conform to conflicting standards historically.

But after watching the clip, she doesn't sound too ideological there. It's more casual conversation and an attempt to be funny. I think she would be receptive to changing her thoughts if she heard a quick counter-argument.

SuperCatN · 2014-08-30T18:12:22+00:00

Is it society or our own insecurities though?

oasisisthewin · 2014-08-30T18:32:59+00:00

Very interesting comments on twoX, I'm actually kind of surprised http://www.np.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/2exy1q/amy_poehler_schools_a_guy_in_what_its_like_to_be/

twiitar · 2014-08-30T19:09:51+00:00

Wasn't there a recent news piece on how men have more complex emotions than women?

Just pointing out, she doesn't get what it's like to be a man. The only people who do are trans woman -> man and guess what? They usually complain about being treated like shit all day all week all month all year all rest of their lifes long by the general public.

rlaptop7 · 2014-08-30T20:21:54+00:00

WTF is this chick, and why should I care?

smokeybehr · 2014-08-30T23:16:44+00:00

Reading the first few lines I knew it was going to be the usual circle jerk known as Mic.com. 99% bullshit, and 1% horseshit.

Mods: Can we make Mic.com one of the sites not to directly link to?

ThePigmanAgain · 2014-08-31T00:54:58+00:00

Another moron who should learn to keep her mouth shut. Women are expected to be everything, are they? Expected to be tough, stoic, financially independent and so on? Bull. Women are expected to be mothers and wives, everything else is optional, not expected. And don't you love the way she throws in the "white male" bit? Another piece of shit floating in the pool of popular culture.

kickinwayne45 · 2014-08-31T04:55:03+00:00

I've got an idea; how about women be women, men be men, and women stop trying to be men and women at the same time.

kurtu5 · 2014-08-31T06:56:20+00:00

Thankfully she isn't funny.

da1inchpunch · 2014-08-30T22:36:07+00:00

tl;dr Blonde Tina Fey says something stupid. Hmm, did anyone not see that coming?

victorfiction · 2014-08-31T00:34:29+00:00

Shocker, another member of the gender that's supposed to be more empathetic says something insensitive and selfish. What about MY problems. Puke.

Pardonme23 · 2014-08-31T09:18:18+00:00

there is nothing enlightening about that quote. and something tells me the scrawny, dorky looking interviewer has had a much harder life than a blonde, middle class actress who went to boston college.

Edit: Neal Brennan went to NYU for a year, dropped out, then worked as a doorman at a comedy club where he met dave chappelle. he was a co-creator of chappelle's show and has had a successful writing career.

so i'm not exactly bleeding sympathy for either of these two. i'm sure they worked hard to be successful and had their struggles, but it's not attractive for extremely successful people (poehler) to brag about how oppressed their entire demographic is. i know plenty of smart, successful women who didn't have it half as bad as that cross-eyed guy in gym class who wore second-hand running shoes from goodwill.

capnuck · 2014-08-30T16:43:20+00:00

She wouldn't know what it's like to be actually funny though.

Sks44 · 2014-08-30T21:58:37+00:00

To be fair, it was a stupid question that was designed for a leading answer.

guywithaccount · 2014-08-30T16:36:37+00:00

Is this the same chick who admitted to raping some guy?

Alvins_Hot_Juice_Box · 2014-08-30T17:25:48+00:00

Aww, I really used to like her.

ghostpiano · 2014-08-30T19:36:07+00:00

my viewpoint is this - there are expectations on all sides of the table. men are raised with expectations, women are raised with expectations, and it gets only more complicated when you attempt to dissect how these expectations infest themselves even within the entire LGBTQI community. Societal role expectations suck for everyone. The only major difference I see is that patriarchy is a very real thing, unfortunately, which is why so many women are understandably angry and frustrated with the ways in which male-influenced agendas are forced upon and expected of them. If you have a hard time understanding the many ways in which patriarchy manifests itself, the most obvious thing that comes to mind is that we've only had male presidents. Ever. That's crazy!!!!! This isn't to say we as male individuals are necessarily the perpetrators of this patriarchal oppressiveness - in fact, if you're a guy like me, you were born into this bullshit just like everyone else, but the only difference is that since we are in the position of privilege I think the right thing to do is listen hard, relate and do our best to help foster an environment of equality. There are extremists on all sides of the equation who are simply angry or who simply don't care for equality, and unfortunately in those circumstances you just have to learn to recognize who those people are and do your best to live with them.

Title	Amy Poehler explains how men are never expected to do and be everything like women are. Quite genuinely "you wouldn't understand what it's like to be a woman".
Author	Sutter_Cane_
Upvotes	264
Comments	144
Date	August 30, 2014 3:17 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mensrights/comments/2f0dd5/amy-poehler-explains-how-men-are-never-expected-to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/amy-poehler-explains-how-men-are-never-expected-to.1620585 https://theredarchive.com/post/1620585

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