Guy earns 5 times his fiancée’s salary and wants to split everything 50/50. Pickme fiancée has been with him for 5 years.

purasangria · 2020-08-28T17:47:51+00:00

He should be paying for everything, especially since he makes so much more. If he won't provide, she needs to move on. This guy is trash.

LevelTurbulent · 2020-08-28T17:46:45+00:00

He wants this arrangement because she'll be spending all of her money on basic bills and be unable to save anything. This is a control tactic. It will prevent her from being able to leave him if she wants.

It has nothing to do with fairness and everything to do with control and abuse. She needs to get out now.

tellmesomething11 · 2020-08-28T18:22:37+00:00

I’ll never forget the first time my ex moved in, I was paying 800 for a two bedroom. We moved into “our” new apartment, which was 1k a month, and he wanted to pay the 200 dollar difference only. I was making 10 an hour at the time, and really struggled with rent and food, plus I was a student. He was rich. No student loan debt (he paid for school outright) owned his car, etc. He told me his budget was 1k weekly. I was making 600 every two weeks.

I made him split the rent, but man, looking back....he should have taken over the rent payment at the very least! Those were hard times for me back then. Now I’m way more successful, but sometimes I look back at those times that I suffered (while having a man!!) with rage.

I agree it was a control tactic. For many years I couldn’t do anything without him, because I couldn’t afford it. The moment I was able to pay for everything on my own, I left him.

throwaway23004345 · 2020-08-28T18:25:25+00:00

Meanwhile men get to have free sex, maid and a cook. But of course men are no monetary value in that 🙄

Sage_Planter · 2020-08-28T17:44:57+00:00

These posts always make me so sad.

This man is telling her that her needs, her financial goals, and her security don't matter. He's more than happy to have her fund his lifestyle at her expense. While she's barely going to be able to make ends meet, he's going to be building up his savings, investing in his 401K, and having plenty of spending money. She needs to leave because he's going to be like this even when they get married.

I'm not in the "a man needs to pay for everything" camp, but finances should at least be equitable. Even if he pays $1,500 and she pays $500 in rent for the new apartment, she's still paying a larger percentage of her salary than him.

dzgata · 2020-08-28T17:58:05+00:00

God forbid the men in my culture start becoming this disgusting, cheap, and plain greedy. This isn’t a man.

EclecticBarbarella · 2020-08-28T18:52:47+00:00

Great, he can move into his swanky apartment on his own and she keep the one she can afford on her own and dump his ass. Win-win

myousername · 2020-08-29T08:25:02+00:00

I have said it before and I will say it a thousand more times:

THERE IS NO POINT IN DATING A RICH MAN IF HE REFUSES TO PROVIDE FINANCIALLY. AT THAT POINT HE IS NO DIFFERENT THAN ANY AVERAGE MAN, EXCEPT WORSE, BECAUSE HE IS ACTIVELY GREEDY AND CHEAP. HE WILL NOT CHANGE. MOVE ON, SIS.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-08-29T02:41:57+00:00

He can't even buy her movie ticket ☠️💩

I would send a text message that just says no and I'd block him. Life is too short.

modernmedusaa · 2020-08-28T23:52:18+00:00

EQuALiTy

understatedalways · 2020-08-29T10:08:48+00:00

If a man really wants you, especially if he’s that rich, he will pay for everything. My long term relationships (husband, fiancé) paid for everything, rent, utilities, food, etc. I would have laughed them out of my life if they expected me to. I just don’t understand why any woman would put up with this nonsense behavior. He clearly doesn’t love or respect her.

FDSxMuffinVSrat · 2020-08-28T20:41:27+00:00

I don't think I've ever been a pick me, but, pre FDS I could see myself falling into one of these relationship traps for the sake of equality.

It also helps to know that my limit for living with someone is now being engaged. Asking to split things 50-50 feels gross in a marriage, so I'd feel much more confident not tolerating it.

I would still feel guilty for not splitting 50-50 outside of an engagement though. I don't really know why. Maybe for fear of accusations, maybe because it threatens my claim to independence, idk.

shirtofsleep · 2020-08-28T19:53:08+00:00

Pickme gal should read The Joy Luck Club, especially the story of Lena.

YukiCatKingdom · 2020-08-28T18:27:02+00:00

This seems like a control tactic because there is such an obvious solution. The guy wants to upgrade housing while the girl doesn't, therefore the girl could keep putting in $350 per month for rent like before and the guy can foot the bill for the extra rent on the upgraded apartment that he wants. Granted that's not a 100% FDS approach to renting, but it's what a fair-minded dude would suggest. HOWEVER, that is not what's happening here. Instead, the guy is pushing the girl to pay extra rent THAT SHE CAN'T AFFORD on an upgraded apartment that she doesn't want. Selfish and short-sighted at best, manipulative and abusive at worst.

buy_me_cookies · 2020-08-31T18:01:16+00:00

Fuck. This. Shit.

How have women been so beaten down and men so entitled?

enchantedglow · 2020-08-29T04:33:10+00:00

Imagine your FIANCÉ treating you like that? This is criminal. He'll just get cheaper with marriage.

m00n5t0n3 · 2020-08-29T06:42:37+00:00

What did I just read

Hello, if you must split it's an equal % of salary. What is this

2020-08-29T01:16:57+00:00

“How should I approach this situation?” By putting down a deposit on the $700 apartment you can afford and moving the fuck out. 😗✌🏽

daisy_0720 · 2020-08-29T12:35:23+00:00

Earns $175,000 a year and won't even buy her a movie ticket??

Holy shit. I just... I have no words.

mscristalconnors · 2020-08-29T14:28:42+00:00

He’s not spoiling you or paying your bills? Bye. Next. Unto the next one.

Title	Guy earns 5 times his fiancée’s salary and wants to split everything 50/50. Pickme fiancée has been with him for 5 years.
Author	maybeathrowaway5678
Upvotes	152
Comments	48
Date	August 28, 2020 5:36 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/iibkgu/guy_earns_5_times_his_fiancées_salary_and_wants/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/guy-earns-5-times-his-fiancees-salary-and-wants-to.172353 https://theredarchive.com/post/172353

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