I'll try to be brief. I was a PUA for a brief number of years following my first divorce. That lifestyle was a bit disastrous as I have found myself spiraling out of control with sex addiction and self-esteem issues surrounding my own validation based on sexual prowis. Basically my only goal became scoring and then it became an obsession for rank as I settled only for the perfect 10.
Fast forward and I'm 4 years into a committed LTR with that 10. I made it clear early on that a marriage license would never be signed. We've committed to one another and own property together. However we're not legally bound in any way. Additionally she is wealthy beyond my own abilities. She owns our houses, and a larger majority of our assets and has contributed the largest portion of our savings. She's the bread winner, being a professional athlete and has family money that dwarfs any earnings potential I have in the industry my businesses are in.
I keep reading that I'm to create a path that she follows. With a woman who has everything, including goals and a career that demands most of her attention, how does this principle apply?
I have my own businesses and my own hobbies, but she's in no way involved. She has her riding career and her equestrian facility that I'm in no way involved. Neither of us are up one anothers ass which has always been an important dynamic of our relationship. We both like our freedoms pursue our interests to their fullest. How do I go about setting a path that she would feel a need to follow? She already has her own path. She has no reason to follow in my shadow and honestly, I would hate to see her give up anything she already has going to do it.
I will add, I'm currently on a journey to regain my self-esteem. I have slowly become self-conscious and depressed over the passed few years. My biggest fear has become losing my girlfriend to another man. I believe it's completely without reason, but my insecurities let my mind wonder to the worst thoughts of infidelity (mental health issue?). I put way too much emphasis on my abilities to score when I was single. That coupled with my own addiction to sex with random women back then probably hold the biggest blame for my issues now. I think this LTR uncovered a deep rooted issue in myself that I was using PUA to prove that I was attractive and had worth, rather than genuinely believing it. Without the chase and ultimately the catch, I no longer have the validation mechanism.
So how do I set a path for a woman who is more successful, better looking, offers more financial security and doesn't actually NEED anything from me? I know she really is in love with me, but I also know I come second to her riding career, which is her life's obsession. Nothing will ever change that. Which is what makes her good enough to do it professionally. I would never want to strip her of that either. I love her for the very thing that pulls at my insecurities.
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