First post, felt I had something to contribute. 3 months unplugged. Going well, getting in shape, working on frame, etc. 42 y/o, 3 kids, 13+ yrs married.

Started following her cycle closely when I unplugged. It's only been 3 months, but I've seen some trends already.

Last month, had decent sex day 12. Figured we'd be OK for a while given our pathetic history of a few times a month. . Occasionally I need to get up for work earlier than usual and I'll sleep down in the guest bedroom those nights, and it happened that one of those nights was 2 days later (day 14) . Usually, when I leave around bedtime to go down and we have no snuggling in bed, lying together chatting, there is zero chance of anything sexual. As I grabbed pillows and toothbrush and leaned over for typical peck kiss, she grabs me for longer kiss, hugs a little tighter than usual, and asks if I want to stay for a while before going downstairs. Fun ensued. As mentioned above, this was quite unexpected, and I gave no signals of being particularly interested.

Next month: Sex day 10 and 11. (things are improving some in general after 3 months, but I'm not getting cocky). Then big fight day 13 after night out with some drinks with friends. I basically took out some gasoline and poured it on my frame, set it on fire, and decided to vomit blue pills all over the place with a drawn out emotional argument. Ended up sleeping downstairs due to mutual disgust with each other, something that hadn't happened since unplugging. (alcohol is constantly fucking up my frame, but that's for another post).

In the past, when we have a fight like that and I retreat to the basement, it takes a few days before we get back to normal interactions. Not this time, though. She was texting me from work, lamenting that we fought again, being generally contrite. Long story short, comes home, long hug, clearly interested in me, I respond in kind through evening, and really good sex that night. WTF. Oh yeah, it was day 14 again.

So I guess all my mental gymnastics for 13+ years trying to figure out why she responded a certain way to my game (pathetic bp game, but still) was pointless. makes me doubt my entire mental map of what she does or doesn't like. My understanding of what variables have been affecting her sexual response has been fundamentally incomplete.
Well, at least I'm learning.

Pissed off it took 40+ years to realize how important this is.

Lessons learned:

  1. follow her cycle like a hawk.
  2. pay close attention to how her behavior follows her cycle
  3. realize your snowflake is only a woman. AWALT. Know your biology.