A4ALL: Why aren't single dads bashed as hard as single moms?

bitter_samsara · 2018-12-08T07:46:02+00:00

People need to bash all those single dad welfare kings! All they do is become twitch whores who spend their alimony on makeup and tramp stamps, while the poor mother who can't see her kids gets locked in prison for failing to make child support payments.

Orange_Paisley · 2018-12-07T21:19:19+00:00

Good point. A single mom is a slut who couldn't keep her legs closed and is assumed to be on welfare or a gold digger living off child support. A single dad is pitied and encouraged and assumed to be good fathers.

KikiYuyu · 2018-12-07T21:41:27+00:00

It's harder for a woman to run away from their kid than it is for a man. I feel like that narrows down the negative assumptions a person might make about them.

neuk_mijn_oogkas · 2018-12-07T22:02:18+00:00

Because random bullshit gendered social norms.

For isntance males face harder punishment for almost any crime but not for child neglect or infanticide; there females face harder punishment for the same thing.

It's about respect and expectations; people get angrier the more they are dissapointed and expected someone to do better; no one gets angry at a small child for acidentaly breaking something or even a cat for eating your food because you don't respect them to do better and don't expect more of them.

People expect females to be "good with children" and respect them for their abilities therein; therefore they get angrier when that respect is not lived up to. No one even gets angry at Donald Trump any more for doing dumb shit because no one expects them to do better at this point. Most powerful statesman in the world doesn't understand that the leader of Germany cannot unilaterally make similar decisions because Germany is a parliamentary republic where everything needs parliament approval? Everyone laughs at Trump but no one gets angry any more because it's to be expected.

People just in general don't get angry when males are bad with kids and raise them poorly; it's one of the few areas where males enjoy less respect than females.

bonersNlaughs · 2018-12-07T22:43:39+00:00

Because single dad's don'tt get on social media bitching and moaning about their problems. And they don't ask for handouts.

It's not so must people hate single moms, we just can't stand to listen to them

justtypingcuz · 2018-12-07T21:27:18+00:00

Single dads are actually responsible.

A bunch of single moms are just some hood rat ass bitches who got the kids by default cuz women almost always get the custody. They don't even care about the kids alot of the time but are stuck with them.

A single dad actually had to fight for his kids.

Willow-girl · 2018-12-07T23:25:35+00:00

It's in the same ballpark as why dad's doing basic parenting are lauded as good dad's by women.

I used to take my kids to the park and was always told "you're such a good dad!"

I mean, it doesn't make me a bad dad, but it's not really noteworthy either.

trettles · 2018-12-07T21:19:51+00:00

Some see it as a failure to make good decisions. Personally, I think bashing single parents is horrible all together. People who do it are far worse than the people who had kids & their relationships didn't work out.

On the other hand, I've been with single dads before and it's not for me. They generally make great boyfriends, but I'm not a kid person and don't want to spend my time doing kid things.

Tedesche · 2018-12-07T22:07:07+00:00

Who said single mothers are bashed? All I ever hear them getting is praise and sympathy. Last time I recall them having a bad rep was in the 70’s and 80’s. In the 90’s the feminist narrative was already in swing, and these women were the poor victims of deadbeat dads.

So, please, where are they being “bashed” in Western culture?

As for single dads, they definitely get praise, because people assume most men want nothing to do with their kids or at least don’t put any effort into parenting, so single dads are regarded as angels with superhuman morality. And if they’re fathering daughters—Jesus Christ is personally patting them on the back.

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Uncommon_Sensed_1234 · 2018-12-08T07:43:32+00:00

Since custudy has gone to the mother in the past, a single dad gives off a more virtuous sacrificial vibe. This means that the ex-wife or mother must be a true piece of shit not to even have joint custody. So the single dad just appears more responsible. These are selling points for women looking to marry.

A single mom, because there are so many around, just come off as pathetic and irresponsible.

MMDT · 2018-12-08T02:08:32+00:00

The equivalent of a single mom is a male virgin. And these are bashed.

RubyWooToo · 2018-12-08T02:36:42+00:00

If you’re a single Dad (meaning a man who is the lone primary caregiver, not just a dude who knocked up someone to whom he wasn’t married) it’s because your wife died or your ex was such a flaming dumpster of California wildfire proportions that you deserve every bit of sympathy you can get.

exit_sandman · 2018-12-08T08:48:19+00:00

Are you talking about deadbeat dads and absent fathers or about single parent dads? Because there's a huge difference between the two...

But, in order to answer your question, let me sum up the difference between the latter and single mothers.

They're rare. There may a various types of single men who pollute the dating pool in a similar fashion as single moms do it for women, but single dads aren't one of them. As another consequence of this, there aren't really any hate sink-tropes about single dads. Welfare queens? Choosing beggars? All those horror stories about single moms taking advantage of their new partners? I have no doubt that people like Frank Gallagher exist in real life, but you'll be hard-pressed to find them for their numbers alone.
Single fathers are by definition unable to baby trap a partner, single mothers are; and single fathers can't abort a kid while single mothers can. This makes it a lot less likely that single fatherhood is the result of a dynamic where he frivolously risked becoming a parent in order to get leverage over a women he covets.
And finally and most importantly: single mothers end up with the kid by default, regardless of their aptitude for child rearing. Single dads should usually be the result of (a) them actively wanting to raise the kid and (b) them being suitable for it and (c) them being far more suitable than the mother.

wtffellification · 2018-12-08T10:03:52+00:00

For some reason, it seems we like to assume this narrative: the dad was naive, but good hearted; while the parasitic-narcissist mother must have planned all this, all along..

Truth is, a naive (even though good hearted) RESPONSIBLE person - responsible being a Dad - can be just as dangerous as the real villain!

naivete can still be forgiven though...

Whisper · 2018-12-10T00:59:57+00:00

Because men aren't looking for a provider.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2018-12-07T21:31:18+00:00

Didn't they also commit the crime of sticking their dick in crazy?

why do you beleive3 this is why single moms are vilified?

EsauTheRed · 2018-12-07T21:21:17+00:00

Single moms often expect others to pick up their slack and are socially parasitic

passepar2t · 2018-12-07T23:08:29+00:00

They are though.

exit_sandman · 2018-12-08T00:04:19+00:00

I don't know where all these single parents exist. I almost never meet these people. WHERE DO YOU ALL LIVE?

couldbemage · 2018-12-08T00:07:59+00:00

It's assumed the dad was in a committed relationship and Mom ran out or died. Some of of the most common nasty single mom caricatures are not applicable: "Doesn't even know who the father is." And: "Is keeping kids from Dad via biased court system."

TheBookOfSeil · 2018-12-08T00:32:34+00:00

Bashed in what context?

Daffan · 2018-12-08T02:16:49+00:00

Because the women does the selecting.

dylang92 · 2018-12-08T10:43:14+00:00

I don’t know, but I don’t really bash either for just being a single parent

billybones11 · 2018-12-08T14:57:40+00:00

Women alone make the decision to have a child. They have complete reproductive power, men have none. Single Dads were forced to have kids without consent and decided to dedicate their lives to assuming the responsibility that the Mother chose to assume and then reneged. They're heroes.

Single Mums are just women who chose poorly.

aanarchist · 2018-12-08T17:38:46+00:00

Because getting sex is work for a man he has to prove utility whether real or fake. All the woman had to do was spread her legs to some idiot and then have him bail or drive him away. If it's a single dad, it's closer to she was such a mental case that not only did he leave her, but he got the kid on top of it because despite women almost always getting the kid she was bad enough that he got majority custody.

Pope_Lucious · 2018-12-09T19:31:59+00:00

Because single mothers make their problems, the world’s problems.

Single dads just grind it out or kill themselves.

worldnewsie · 2018-12-10T00:38:59+00:00

The difference in damage to the body after having a kid has to be at least a small part of this issue.

crackrocksteady7 · 2018-12-07T21:15:14+00:00

Why dont people bash things that dont exist

ffbtaw · 2018-12-08T01:57:29+00:00

The male equivalent of single moms are the deadbeat dad's who refuse to help raise the kids.

Dad's that raise their kids while unmarried usually only get custody because they have their lives together and the mother is a complete fuck up so of course they get more sympathy. They're still dumbfucks for sticking their dick in crazy.

LewisCross · 2018-12-07T22:27:19+00:00

Because single dads:

--are not a drain and burden on society like single moms are

-- don't waste money like single moms do

--are better single parents than single moms are by every conceivable metric

-- don't demand freebies and goodies on the government dime

-- don't blame everyone else for their problems

--don't complain; just hunker down and get it done

--don't turn their daughters into whores or sluts or welfare queens

--don't turn their sons into thugs or pussyboys

DXBrigade · 2018-12-08T09:50:05+00:00

Because single dads are rare while single mom are common. Single mom are a societal problem.

SAC-Lawn_Gnome · 2018-12-07T23:46:46+00:00

Men don't have the right to abort, unlike women. So they have less of a choice.

Title	A4ALL: Why aren't single dads bashed as hard as single moms?
Author	LeJacquelope
Upvotes	4
Comments	104
Date	December 7, 2018 9:13 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/a445z7/a4all_why_arent_single_dads_bashed_as_hard_as/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/a4all-why-arent-single-dads-bashed-as-hard-as.258663 https://theredarchive.com/post/258663

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