Do women who go clubbing automatically deemed inappropriate or slutty?

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2018-08-03T13:32:25+00:00

I frequently went clubbing when young but never when I had a bf. It's pretty "single" behavior

Pope_Lucious · 2018-08-03T13:54:55+00:00

I’ve found the advice,

“Try to never put people in a position where they HAVE to trust you.”

To be useful with situations like these.

Not every chick in a club is a slut, but clubs are where you’ll find a lot of sluts.

storffish · 2018-08-03T13:41:14+00:00

to the pearl-clutching dweebs on here, yes.

"is it wrong for me to assume women who go to clubs are whores?" and "is a guy wrong for preferring an Amish virgin who's never heard of a club?" posts incoming...

[deleted] · 2018-08-03T15:14:13+00:00

Pretty much yeah. It's called a meat market for a reason. Even if it's not someone's intention to hook up it's a very "romantic" atmosphere - booze, dancing, everyone hooking up around you... It's not impossible for someone to resist the temptation, but why would you want to test your strength of will like that if you already have a great guy you like? If it's something you are curious about experiencing, why not see if your boyfriend wants to come with you? That way if you do start feeling in the mood, he's right there to fall on that grenade.

Aaren_Augustine · 2018-08-03T13:05:25+00:00

Have you not been clubbing? Have you not seen what women do?

Me and my friends are super nerds in college

Oh. Men and women are there to fuck around. Women will say they're just there to have fun and dance with their girlfriends. It's bull if the right guy comes in because then your making out all night.

Some even have a tavelling pants sister act where they'll see how they can get free drinks from thirsty men.

Get a nice geeky girl. Same software, just better taste in hobbies.

Edit, oh your the chick. Oh boy.

GridReXX · 2018-08-03T18:47:41+00:00

It really depends.

I'm from a culture where "dance" and "rhythm" is a natural thing.

We grow up dancing and it's incorporated in everything we do almost compulsively, from religious services to family gatherings. We don't need to be inebriated or high to dance. We just do it -- sober.

All of my friends who are partnered and married still go to "clubs" and day parties or dance oriented parties for this reason. We enjoy music and dance.

That said we don't typically like "techno" or more white-oriented clubs. The "dancing" is more mosh-pitty or ppl standing in one place bobbing up and down to staccato "doosh doosh doosh."

But yeah if you don't enjoy dancing and having fun with your friends, I suppose the only other reason to go to certain clubs is to stand around and look attractive which I guess will trigger certain men over others.

That said many people have fun and dance in a circle with their friends. Please don't let the people of Reddit make it seem as though this isn't a normal thing that people do to have fun.

philomexa · 2018-08-03T13:09:19+00:00

Yes

There's a difference between going out to a bar with your GFs to get drinks and appetizers, and going to a club/meatmarket with thumping bass music/DJ, and strobes, and a huge dance floor, and an upstairs room where people are shooting up, toking, and snorting up.

SlashCo80 · 2018-08-03T13:50:18+00:00

It depends. If they go occasionally with friends to have fun, then no. If they go regularly to score free drinks off guys and grind on the dancefloor while wearing their most revealing clothes, then yeah, it's pretty slutty (duh).

Gravel_Roads · 2018-08-03T19:16:29+00:00

No, not all people who go clubbing are sluts. I feel like the only people who think this don’t really have a lot of first hand experience with clubs, or don’t realize not all clubs are equal.

Most of the chicks I know that club just like dressing up in crazy colors and doing their make up and hair a little more outlandishly than they can during the day and then go dancing. I go with them sometimes, cuz I love dressing up too, and it’s one of the few places men can wear collars and nail polish and shit in public.

I don’t know your relationship so I don’t want to assume. But I hear warning bells when people try to control my activities outside of the house. Generally, people constantly fixating on whether or not you’re cheating on them don’t improve with time.

wtknight · 2018-08-03T13:13:08+00:00

If a woman is going clubbing most of the time she’s going to be dancing close to other men. It’s not something that I’d want a girlfriend to do, and I would expect a girlfriend to get just as upset with me if I were going somewhere where I’d be in close physical contact with other women.

kandyapplez · 2018-08-03T16:53:04+00:00

they get deemed inappropriate or slutty by people who rarely ever step foot inside of a club and have no idea what actually happens in them

you're 19. dump the ball and chain and enjoy your youth sis

YaAmar · 2018-08-03T14:48:07+00:00

Do women who go clubbing automatically deemed inappropriate or slutty?

No, But it is a big way to express being slutty.

If you go clubbing, use revealing clothes and is constantly between men does not automatically makes you a slut.

But a slut surely makes all that. Because a slut needs to do things that to be what she is, like those above.

From others perspective, if you act like a duck, fly like a duck and quacks like a duck, you are a duck. This is the point.

Me and my friends are super nerds in college meaning we wouldn't think of doing something like that we just want an experience.

Hard to believe. as I said before.

To go clubbing with friends and not engage in slutty behavior for most is like going to the supermarket on the other side of the municipality only because you want a bottle of water. Sure you can do it. but it is highly suspicious.

Or for example you pay to go to a business event, in formal business clothing, and talking like a business related person, but when you get there all you do is drink coffee and talk with a friend, nothing business related. Sure you can do it, I met people who does it. But again, it's highly suspicious (and inefficient).

In summary: you are not a automatic slut when you go clubbing but you are behaving similar to one. People easily connect dots even when there is none.

My idea is that you can forget him and go, but be in mind you may be losing part of your points with him by doing that. if you can afford it, that is.

philomexa · 2018-08-03T14:47:42+00:00

So do all women or men who go clubbing considered slutting around?

No only joyless dweebs like your boyfriend do. You're 19, this is the age to hit up a club and see what its all about. Sorry your boyfriend is a wet blanket, he sounds like he doesn't have enough balls or charisma to turn this around into a fun group event with him and his bros.

Either way, go clubbing or don't, it doesn't mean much in the grand scheme of things, I think the real problem here is your dweeb boyfriend.

cattermelon34 · 2018-08-03T14:24:29+00:00

Clubbing is generally a singles activity because it involves dancing with strangers. It's not inherently "slutty". Just be prepared to be.... danced on/ with a bunch of rando dudes.

esiemualB · 2018-08-03T19:06:03+00:00

Some people definitely have this idea. I personally think it's projection. When someone never goes to a party or club for anything besides flirting or hookups, of course they think that parties and clubs are exclusively used for "slutting around". Doesn't mean you can't go, though. You're 19, and if you don't go now, you'll regret not having made this experience later on, especially if you break up one day.

nomansweb · 2018-08-03T23:21:01+00:00

People in "super nerdy" groups can think so yes, and if I had a dollar for every guy who got cheated on when his girlfriend/wife said she just "wanted the experience" of going clubbing and then got overwhelmed by attention from club Chads...

But, it is fairly normal to go clubbing, even for non-slutty women, I don't see it as a sign of sluttiness. It's probably best to have an existing alcohol tolerance though and to go with friends you and your boyfriend trust you to stop you from doing something stupid, just in case...

poppy_blu · 2018-08-04T02:43:51+00:00

What you’re seeing here is 1) projection by people whve never been part of that scene (a common theme here) or 2) projection by men who think anytime a woman is more than 20 feet from her man she’s going stray cuz hypergamy.

The only reason I haven’t been to a club in ages is because 1) everyone there is young enough to be my kid and 2) my dance moves are straight out of the 90s.

Whodunnit88 · 2018-08-03T15:04:39+00:00

your boyfriend sounds like a jerk.

BisquitBill · 2018-08-03T13:15:20+00:00

I (19) recently told my bf (23) I was going clubbing with my friends. He flipped out on me saying if I go I would be considered slutting around. Me and my friends are super nerds in college meaning we wouldnt think of doing something like that we just want an experience. So do all women or men who go clubbing considered slutting around?

So, another silly anecdotal.

Tishkaminx · 2018-08-03T13:33:49+00:00

Depends what kind of dancing you are doing and the context. If you intend on grinding with random guys then yeah. If like me you're headbanging in a corner of a rock club then no imo.

PennnyLame · 2018-08-03T15:10:03+00:00

Slutty? No. But I see 0 reason to go to a club unless someone is offering a free bottle or table service.

ZodiacBrave98 · 2018-08-03T15:28:12+00:00

Given the age it isn't abnormal behavior. But enough women cheat at clubs I'd be wary. Especially if BF isn't invited to go along.

My early warning dial would go to about halfway.

Another way to look at it: You are there just to dance.

None of the men are.

weaver420 · 2018-08-03T15:35:33+00:00

Yeah partying and especially doing drugs will more often than not get you labeled as a slut, or at the very least improper. I've lost count of the amount of times i've gotten "knowing looks" and been called a druggie whore because i pop xans a couple of times a month and smoke devils lettuce lmao. I guess "sluts" and party-girls run in the same circles but it's a misconception that if you're in one category, you must be in the other as well.

[deleted] · 2018-08-03T16:40:00+00:00

I had friends who would go to clubs just to dance and hang out with friends, not to find someone to hookup with. But it also probably depends on the type of club you go to.

If you are just dancing with your girlfriends, and aren't stripping in the club you wouldn't seem slutty.

If you want to dance with your friends, where does your boyfriend think is an acceptable place for you to go, house party? Would he prefer to go with you to the club?

blackedoutfast · 2018-08-03T18:33:07+00:00

i go clubbing a lot, and i have lots of friends who like to go clubbing a lot. there are all kinds of people who go to clubs. there are a lot of druggy sluts, but i also know virgin and low n-count girls who just like going out and dancing with their friends.

that said, when a girl(s) who has never really done that kind of stuff goes out clubbing in a girls night out type situation, especially if some of the girls are single, that's when shit happens. it'a a new experience, it's exciting, it's fun, the music is loud, everyone is having a great time, she didn't eat enough food, someone keeps buying shots, there are very aggressive hot dudes (who are way more AF than her boring boyfriend who didn't want her to come), her single friends are trying to flirt with these guys and get attention and trying to use her as a wingwoman. then before you know it, she's making out with some random dude. and if the guy knows what he's doing, there's a good chance she will hook up with him. happens alll the time.

nokanjaijo · 2018-08-03T19:31:08+00:00

I agree with /u/Pope_Lucious . The atmosphere is one of hooking up. You get hit on way more at clubs than anywhere else because men assume you're open to it if you are there. That is just the assumption.

You'll get way more offers, if slutting is your intention or not.

Also, alcohol is generally involved which weakens your inhibitions.

How are you planning to dress? Wear make up? Really think about your answer to that question.

However strong your loyalty and resolve, it doesn't change the fact that you are putting yourself in a situation where the risk of infidelity rises.

You should be open to having a conversation about this.

I don't think you should be open to your boyfriend flipping out on you when you want to do something he's uncomfortable with, though. That's some nonsense. I would refuse to discuss it if he won't do it calmly and with respect.

miamiedge · 2018-08-03T20:54:52+00:00

If you've never gone and want a new experience - of course not.

But girls who regularly go are usually sluts. The main point of a club is dancing but the secondary point is meeting the opposite sex (and often getting physical earlier than you would in other environments).

lalabats · 2018-08-04T06:22:59+00:00

Not nessecarily slutty, but definitely not something I'd do while in a relationship. Particularly if you're going out without your SO.

[deleted] · 2018-08-04T07:19:48+00:00

Love how all the girls are saying "dump that nerdy dweeb, live it up sister" and the guys are saying "it's probably not a good idea as you'll probably end up getting banged by some hot guy."

Ultimately it's your choice.

RetiredPandaMurderer · 2018-08-05T12:15:12+00:00

newName543456 · 2018-08-06T12:28:14+00:00

What happens in the club, stays in the club :3

lizardbrain9000 · 2018-08-03T16:45:02+00:00

Yes. If you love and respect your boyfriend you won't go. Clubs are for single people.

oftheinfinite · 2018-08-03T15:29:40+00:00

In light of the comments from women and blue/purple pillers talking about male insecurity/"unconfidence" and laughing at it, I hope men start cheating and abandoning LTRs/marriage and keep their sexual options open. As the years roll by, more and more women are going to think and act in this way: "uuhhhhm like, I, just wanna shake my booty around with my gfs and...just...have...FUN, whats so, like, bad about that...???...?" So, if you are a man, stop being a cuck and just cheat when you get the chance.

YaAmar · 2018-08-06T08:47:10+00:00

If you go out without a male chapperone belonging to your family, or without a matronly woman, you are behaving like you are a single woman and guys are going to approach you! And in a nightclub???? You will be approached by endless Chads and your biology won't give you any other option but to cheat on your beta, sorry. That's just how it is. Bio truths are impossible to get around. Women just can't be around men without sleeping with them. i'm sorry, women can't be near attractive men without sleeping with them. That's better.

Title	Do women who go clubbing automatically deemed inappropriate or slutty?
Author	Breezybri21
Upvotes	7
Comments	113
Date	August 3, 2018 5:07 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/946s7u/do_women_who_go_clubbing_automatically_deemed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-women-who-go-clubbing-automatically-deemed.261294 https://theredarchive.com/post/261294

Comments