Q4Women: How do you feel about prostitution morally?

SpaceWhiskey · 2018-07-24T21:26:52+00:00

1: How do you feel about prostitution morally?

Paying for sex/ being payed for sex is amoral. I feel totally neutral about it.

2: How offensive would you find it if someone called you a "whore?" Or said that you were "whoring off?" Or whatever?

Between neutral and annoyed. I've only ever been called a whore by men I've sexually rejected, so I mostly just find it amusingly pitiful.

3: What the heck is the big F-ing deal about sex-work services?

Repressed people have always desired to control other people's sexuality through shame and judgment. Someone's opinions about sex workers and the people that hire them says more about their own hangups than the people involved in the sex industry. Most well adjusted, logical people stick to their own business.

That said, there are legitimate concerns about safety of sex workers and the trafficking of minors. In my opinion, this would be helped through legalization and regulation.

4: Why do women feel so strongly about prostitution, whereas many men DGAF? (I'm a man; I don't give a fuck; I prostituted myself a few times and all I felt was joy/glee when I got fat stacks of cash, like $500 in cash for doing zero fucking work. Made my god-damn week. Basically TGTBT.)

Men and women don't actually diverge too much on this subject. It's more of a conservative/ liberal divide.

2018-07-24T21:49:05+00:00

Who did you sell your services to? Men? Couples?

SpaceWhiskey · 2018-07-24T21:45:10+00:00

1: How do you feel about prostitution morally?

Meh, no moral opinion on this. As long as everyone involved are consenting adults of course.

2: How offensive would you find it if someone called you a "whore," said you were "whoring off," etc.?

0 fucks given. As the boys in my HS will tell you...

3: What the heck is the big F-ing deal about sex-work services in our society?

Culturally Purtian roots? Idk...

4: Why do women feel so strongly about prostitution, whereas many men DGAF? (I'm a man; I don't give a fuck; I prostituted myself a few times and all I felt was joy/glee when I got fat stacks of cash, like $500 in cash for doing zero fucking work. Made my god-damn week. Basically TGTBT.)

I don't think women do care strongly (as long as consenting adults) about prostitution in general. I think women care about the men they want to date/marry not visiting pros, but they don't care what men in general are doing with their penises.

AutismoCircus · 2018-07-24T21:36:19+00:00

i find it gross intrinsically but a sensible option for women of low opportunity. but i am disgusted by anyone who can even enjoy sex with someone who isn't actually into them. the mutual enjoyment aspect is what makes sex fun for me.
dont care about that. i was called a whore all the time for being a freakin cocktail waitress
sex in general is a hot button issue in society. mix in money and of course.
i'm not sure many women actually feel that strongly about prositution and moreso take a "you do you but keep that kind of stuff away from me" approach. women are taught that our bodies and sexual access to our bodies are to be protected so the thought that someone could place a price on that is disturbing a bit. men don't care because they get to have sex, duh.

2018-07-24T22:30:56+00:00

1: How do you feel about prostitution morally?

I don't. Not something I'd want to do personally, but I don't think there's anything wrong with it morally.

2: How offensive would you find it if someone called you a "whore," said you were "whoring off," etc.?

I'd be offended because they were insulting me, not because they used the word whore. Insults are almost never literal.

3: What the heck is the big F-ing deal about sex-work services in our society?

People are grossed out by it.

4: Why do women feel so strongly about prostitution, whereas many men DGAF?

I don't think they do.

2018-07-24T22:17:52+00:00

1.) Neutral. It's legal where I live and imo people should be allowed to do what they want with their own bodies. There is unfortunately a strong involvement of criminal organizations in the business and with that shady/ immoral practices including pimping/drugs/forced prostitution/exploitation but that does not make prostitution by itself immoral.

2.) Since “whore“/“whoring“ are pretty vulgar slurs, I'd assume the person is being intentionally rude. I'm not sure what the context of this would be but generally I would find it offensive if someone suggested that I either looked “like a whore“ for example (because the stereotypical prostitute “look“ is skimpy and cheap) or that I am using sex to gain money/resources/favors/etc, implying I did not work for it the same way as everyone else or that I am sacrificing my dignity/values/body/autonomy for this purpose. Prostitution has a very bad image in society but “whore“ especially implies someone on the more cheap and dirty side, not an elite escort.

3.) Besides legitimate concerns of the shady parts of the industry, probably the same taboos we have about sex in general.

4.) I don't know of any data that suggests they do (?) Among both men and women you can find people who feel very strongly about prostitution while others don't give a shit. Lots of conservative men out there who think it's immoral for women to prostitute themselves and they have similar views on most other topics concerning sex. I would guess that there are a lot of people who don't want to prostitute themselves for various reasons (different values concerning sex/ stigma/ don't want to have sex without attraction with old and ugly men, even for money / fear of stds or violence - sleeping with a much bigger and stronger stranger for money isn't exactly what I would call “safe“) but that doesn't mean that they think it's immoral or have strong negative feelings towards prostitutes. The same people who enjoy casual sex for fun would probably be more open to do it for money for example, than the ones who only like sex with an emotional connection in a monogamous relationship.

frogsgoribbit737 · 2018-07-24T21:20:17+00:00

I don't personally care what someone does with their own body. I wish it were legal so these women could have basic rights like the rest of us.

poppy_blu · 2018-07-24T21:46:49+00:00

1: I think sex is a very personal and borderline spiritual activity. To share that with a stranger for cash is disgusting.

2: They clearly don't know me, so I don't care.

3: I don't care what other women do in the sense that I won't comment, but they clearly don't care about their physical or mental health, so I'm judging and gonna talk shit with my BF.

4: Because women understand intuitively that sex is a major risk physically. Someone who cares so little for their own self preservation (because birth control is hard to explain to our lizard brains) is obviously sick in some way.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2018-07-24T21:22:17+00:00

there is no part of my morality that can be rationally applied to prostitution

Electra_Cute · 2018-07-24T22:13:52+00:00

I think a lot of prostitutes are disenfranchized women being taken advantage of. The idea that prostitution is some kind of clean and wholesome job that is not usually connected to crime is fantastical. I think it is wrong.

Eartherry · 2018-07-24T21:41:04+00:00

> 1: How do you feel about prostitution morally?

I feel it's more an economic issue than a moral one. And if looking at it ethically there's nothing immoral about it.

> 2: How offensive would you find it if someone called you a "whore?" Or said that you were "whoring off?" Or whatever?

I'd feel dumb. Whatever I'd done to be called a whore I definitely would've done for free.

> 3: What the heck is the big F-ing deal about sex-work services?

It's a profession that only women can do that has the potential to make them wealthy, and thus, powerful. Wealthy prostitutes invested in infrastructure that became towns. Churches preached against it but clergy members were customers too. This created a dynamic where everyone knew the brothel was there and was happy to have it, for men to visit and for women to work, but had to pretend like they didn't for the sake of their reputations.

> 4: Why do women feel so strongly about prostitution, whereas many men DGAF?

It's not safe to be a prostitute, but it could be if the state stepped in and regulated it. But like in the past they won't associate with it to save face even if they themselves partake after hours. With it this way men get what they want and women get denied a way to make good money on their own.

lefactorybebe · 2018-07-24T22:28:52+00:00

I don't feel terribly strong about it one way or the other. The only issue I have is women who are forced into prostitution, or those who are manipulated into it from a young age.

It's not something I'd personally do. Maybe if I were absolutely broke, living on the street, starving, I might do it, as a last resort.

2018-07-25T01:12:30+00:00

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2018-07-25T01:41:54+00:00

It disgusts me. The idea of having sex with a guy I don’t know well and care for fills me with revulsion so strong it’s difficult for me to imagine that any woman is capable of it. Apparently plenty of women are though.

CatchPhraze · 2018-07-25T04:17:18+00:00

As long as s/he isn't being pushed into the job and does it as her choice, whore away!
I'd find it offensive in kind of the same way a boss would be offended as being thought of as the intern. My job took a lot of training school and hard work, being credited too a much more easy position would not sit well with me,
So much of it is dangerous and mishandled. Sex workers face huge numbers of rape, abuse, substance abuse, and murder. STD's and lack of safe sex education make it a very dangerous and unregulated issue.
It's a male sexual fantasy to be desired by a woman to the point of being paid. Think about it this way, if another man solicited you or thought you where a GAY prostitute, you probably would have a much stronger reaction/incentive to say no. Most female prostitutes are about as attracted to their johns as they are a straight man is to another man.

Also, men care MASSIVELY about a woman's sexual passed. Very few men would have an IDGAF attitude about a partner who is doing or has done sex work, even if they are tested and haven't done it in years.

poppy_blu · 2018-07-25T04:26:08+00:00

How do you feel about prostitution morally?

Im not religious so I don’t join the do as we say but not as we do hypocrisy chatter. I work in public health and come at it from a practical POV, legalized prostitution is safer for everyone. I think it’s disgustingly hypocrital that porn is legal and porn stars are legit “actresses” while hookers (what porn stars are) are committing a crime.

2: How offensive would you find it if someone called you a "whore," said you were "whoring off," etc.?

What a lot of men miss here is this: outside of tradcon religious circles, most women these days won’t call another woman a whore/slut just for sleeping with a lot of men. She’s call her a slut for sleeping with men who are married or in relationships. I think this where historically a lot of women’s opposition to prostitution came from, the fear that it might be my husband or bf. I just watched a movie over the weekend called Mother and Child [spoiler alert]. One of the main characters talked at the beginning about how she doesn’t get along with women because women find her threatening, and then 20 min later she’s banging her married neighbor. Gee I wonder why women don’t like you...

Slut/whore is also an insult meant to say a woman looks cheap and trashy.

Given the above, yes I would be offended at being called a whore. “Whoring off” I’ve never heard it phrased that way before.

3: What the heck is the big F-ing deal about sex-work services in our society?

See my answer to #1.

4: Why do women feel so strongly about prostitution, whereas many men DGAF?

See my answer to #2. You can bet your ass that if women suddenyl started seeking male escorts men would cease to DGAF pretty quick.

don’t get me wrong I’m not arguing for prostitution, im arguing for making it legal and safe. It isn’t up to the state to make sure your man keeps his dick in his pants.

KikiYuyu · 2018-07-24T23:29:31+00:00

Morally, I'd call it grey. If no one gets harmed, I can't say it's evil or anything. But I don't think anyone can convince me selling your body isn't nasty and fucked up. It's trashy, like selling your blood for booze money.
I wouldn't find it offensive. I find it funny because of how inaccurate it is, so it's such an empty thoughtless insult to be used against me.
A lot of people think sex is a big deal, and when people treat it like it's nothing it's off-putting.
More women tend to care about the emotional aspect of sex.

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TheChemist158 · 2018-07-24T21:37:50+00:00

The term "whoring off" is obviously offensive to many women, and in this case it triggered violence.

Well, that was a scripted, fictional event. Not a good example of anything.

How do you feel about prostitution morally?

In principle I am 100% fine with it. A women should be allowed to sell her body to a man who wants to have her. In reality there's a lot of bad things around prostitution. Lots of women are trafficked for this reason, which is awful. Even when they are willing, it's not uncommon for them to be addicts feeding their addiction. Poverty and violent pimps/Johns are other issues. I believe the best way to address these problems is to legalize prostitution to allow for more oversight.

How offensive would you find it if someone called you a "whore?" Or said that you were "whoring off?" Or whatever?

Well, was I being a whore? The word itself is not insulting to me, though the full context might meet it insulting.

What the heck is the big F-ing deal about sex-work services?

As it stands there is a lot of bad shit tied into it. Aside from that, our culture was historically very prudish.

Why do women feel so strongly about prostitution, whereas many men DGAF?

I'm a women and I largely don't care.

thereddespair · 2018-07-24T22:18:36+00:00

After the further shift (decline) in the western social fabric, prostitution is not really as much as a threat to the monopolistic.
Why worry about a fixed to negotiable cost, when the modern day enemy charges zero cost.
Semantics, theatrics.
People say no to things because they see them as a threat, to persist and worse prolificate they cannot let.
And men dont give a fuck? They dont feel threatened of a male hooker giving their wives a better fuck?

2018-07-24T22:37:54+00:00

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nokanjaijo · 2018-07-24T23:54:32+00:00

I don't. You might as well ask me how I feel about being a masseuse morally. The question doesn't even make sense to me.
My best friend calls me a whore all the time. He also calls his dog a whore. I call myself a whore sometimes to indicate that I really like something. As in, "I'm a whore for open source."
Some feminists would say it's because the patriarchy doesn't like women to have domain over their own bodies. Ultimately, who knows why people believe the idiotic things people tend to believe? It's usually just nonsense handed down through generations that we cling to because we can't handle the fact that our parents never really had any idea what they were talking about.
I think you're begging the question here. I don't agree with the assumption. If it really were only women against prostitution, it probably wouldn't be illegal almost everywhere. We didn't even get to vote until about 100 years ago. So, it was dudes who thought it should be illegal in the first place.

Someone who cares so little for their own self preservation (because birth control is hard to explain to our lizard brains) is obviously sick in some way

Anybody whose decision making is being run by their lizard brain probably has an underdeveloped prefrontal cortex and should seriously consider taking up daily meditation.

tiposk · 2018-07-25T00:06:55+00:00

1: How do you feel about prostitution morally?

I don't care as long as it involves consenting adults. Women in traditional societies don't sleep with men until these pay the price, be it a dinner, gifts or the promise of being provided to. The opposition to prostitution is very often very hypocritical. However, street prostitution puts you in danger and thos makes me feel uneasy.

2: How offensive would you find it if someone called you a "whore," said you were "whoring off," etc.?

I get mad because this insult usually carries a double standard. Other than that, I don't pay much attention.

What the heck is the big F-ing deal about sex-work services in our society?

People feel uncofortable about people having sex, specially when it comes to females.

Why do women feel so strongly about prostitution, whereas many men DGAF?

Women are more prone to disgust.

[W]omen understand intuitively that sex is a major risk physically. Someone who cares so little for their own self preservation (because birth control is hard to explain to our lizard brains) is obviously sick in some way.

Speeding, eating without washing your hands, drinking soda and skiing are also risky behaviors, yet nobody shames people for doing these things.

lalabats · 2018-07-25T01:53:30+00:00

In the case of escorts, I couldn't care less. Everyone should have the right to do whatever they want with their body. However, escorts are definetly the minority in prostitution. Most prostitutes do not choose to be a prostitute, they are trafficked, manipulated, or are not of sound mind to make that decision.
I would not care if I was called a whore because I'm not one. In my experience, only women who are whores get upset when they are called out.
I think most of our society associates prostitution with negative aspects of life, and therefore is made uncomfortable by the idea of it.
In a word, feminism.

killallthenarcs · 2018-07-25T03:16:30+00:00

Prostitution is something about which it is easy to make a case for an idealized sanitised version of, but when you look at the actual reality then on so many aspects of what it is it gets harder to justify. The moral reason why I wouldn't ever prostitute myself (there are also aesthetic and social reasons I wouldn't) is that it is a form of inauthenticity and lying that goes pretty deeply into aspects of ourselves that comprise identity and ourt basic physical emotional responses. Now in an ideal world where things happen according to the sanitised ideal version one would say well that's going to have no more effect than say acting in a play. Buuut... reality is all those genital nerves are pretty damn overwhelmingly connected to your brain and sense of self. So yeah I tend to see prostitutes as likely to be people who have an authenticity and honesty problem rampaging through their lives. That said we allow people to work other jobs that tend to involve being ragingly inauthentic... certain types of sales jobs, politicians etc. maybe we should allow prostitution... but if we did it wouldn't make it an honest job.

If someone called me a whore (especially if the person who called me a whore was a whore herself) then that's a pretty damn hostile thing to do. I might rearrange their face for them if i felt I could get away with it. If I knew they were cheating on their tax I'd dob them in, if they were working out of an illicit brothel I'd tell the police, generally I'd want to fuck their shit over damn hard. People often guard their reputation for authenticity very enthusiastically... both those who are authentic and those who aren't do this. Authenticity is not an easily achieved thing, it involves sacrifices, but it is often a very valued thing in society. I don't really want the world equating me to a whore or to a used car salesperson or a dodgy politican or the guy who breaks into your house and steals your laptop. Feel free to say separately that the whore has value, just don't go fucking comparing us or I'll shut your whore mouth for you.

To work out what the big deal is about sex work in our community you need to look at what sex work actually is, not what it says it is at its best. It is a lying profession where the lie is regularly bought at the expense of allowing someone to make honest attempts to extract honest responses by touching your gentials... the actual substance of those attempts then being dealt with in various ways most of which are dishonest. "Oh honey you know I feel nothing with the clients ever" but secretly gets off sometime. Or "Oh OH OH is so goooood" but really is thinking about her grocery shopping. And of course it is a lying profession that tends to attract people who are living other lie heavy lifestyles... one of the main ones is addiction to illegal hard drugs. Just in general the reality of things is whores are far more likely to be untrustworthy, be inauthentic, be someone you wouldn't want working a cash register or doing your book-keeping.

I don't feel particularly strongly about prostitution compared to a great number of men's feelings about it. Good gracious, I'm not the one having orgasms over it.

pennycenturie · 2018-07-25T04:37:58+00:00

I love that movie. It's about people who don't stray from toxic and limiting ideologies or lifestyles. I've known and been friends with sex workers before, and I briefly considered doing it myself. I think the self-preservation point is a great one, but ultimately I think what this scene in The Florida Project shows is that shaming sex work is one way to harbor bottom lines of arguments. If sex work is a demon in an any debate, and your life is filled with inflammatory drama, it's as easy to use as, let's say, a microwave. It's a simple tool and you don't question it.

The two women in the movie may have better lives if they came from an overall more sex-positive foundation, but instead, they use negativity as a way to triumph over one another, and control their situation.

flamingoinghome · 2018-07-25T07:06:40+00:00

Morally? Not bothered. The only immoral thing about sex work is how often sex workers get abused. Selling sex qua selling sex is not something I'd want to do in the same way I wouldn't want to work with dead cats or live invertebrates--it would be gross to fuck someone I didn't like. But I'm friends with some people who've done sex work (stripping, domming) and they're awesome people!
I'd be angry because yeah, they're insulting me, AND implying that my partner(s) had to pay me.
We still aren't over Puritanism. Heck, people are weird about the idea that two friends might fuck for fun and not make a big deal of it; of course they're going to be weird about sex work.
Most women I know who are weird about prostitution more believe that NO ONE could EVER choose to do such a thing of their own free will, so clearly something MUST be forcing them. And trafficking IS a thing, and there's way too much of it, so I see where they get the idea, but that doesn't mean NO SEX WORKERS EVER just think it's an okay way to pay rent and keep the fridge full.

desolatewinds · 2018-07-25T11:39:07+00:00

1: How do you feel about prostitution morally?

It is immoral to pay for sex. Morally neutral to provide it.

2: How offensive would you find it if someone called you a "whore," said you were "whoring off," etc.?

Very offensive.

3: What the heck is the big F-ing deal about sex-work services in our society?

It's an all out ideological civil war with many factions with Christians gripping desperately to their failing monopoly. Stances on sex work and how it should be seen and dealt with is correlated with different political sentiments.

4: Why do women feel so strongly about prostitution, whereas many men DGAF?

Because more women are interested in feminism and social justice and feminists have always cared strongly and been deeply divided over this issue. Three major camps: full decrim (most modern social justice/third wave feminist types stance), various legalization schemes (these are out of fashion positions to hold and common among older liberals), End Demand model/Swedish model/Nordic model etc., common among radfems, gender critical feminists. The third wave SJWs call them SWERFs (sex worker exclusionary radical feminists).

Libertarians tend to support full decrim but for very different reasons than the third wave feminists. Modern radical leftists like anarchists and communists tend to support decrim yet again. This position is extremely popular right now. Their reasoning is all labour is exploitation and sex work should not be considered different. Previous generations of radical leftists tended to support the End Demand sex trade abolitionist approach.

Freethetreees · 2018-07-25T14:48:11+00:00

I have 0 moral quandaries with prostitution. It's no different from selling any other service. But I find men who pay for sex to be disgusting and unworthy of romantic or sexual attention.

Title	Q4Women: How do you feel about prostitution morally?
Author	DifferentNecessary0
Upvotes	15
Comments	146
Date	July 24, 2018 9:09 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/91lfs6/q4women_how_do_you_feel_about_prostitution_morally/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4women-how-do-you-feel-about-prostitution-morally.261390 https://theredarchive.com/post/261390

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