Q4BP: If women have this supernatural ability to tell someone is a misogynist creep, why do they so often fall for deadbeats?

OfSpock · 2017-05-13T21:40:56+00:00

Women whose fathers were abusive are attracted to abusive men. Their 'creep detector' works fine, it's just miscalibrated.

IamTheWalkingMenu · 2017-05-14T02:07:48+00:00

Their blood screams at them to take Chad's seed

Lolol srsly? So melodramatic. What do you think we are vampires?

absurdlivingghost · 2017-05-14T01:00:47+00:00

misogyny, in your case, is the result of being labeled a creep: "women seem wicked when you're unwanted." so lets get that out of the way.

creepiness is the combination of two basic behavioral patterns: nervousness in social situations and unwanted persistence. when you're socially awkward or have built a person up in your head and are finally getting to talk to them you're likely to be visibly nervous. but to someone who doesn't live in your head and doesn't know what you're thinking that's a red flag... "what's he nervous about? is he planning something? is he gonna put something in my drink?"

unwanted persistence, on the other hand, is often believed to be romantic or outgoing. in your mind, you're making a grand romantic gesture to show how much you like someone but to them you can't take a hint. a few days ago I had a guy to whom I have made it clear to that I am absolutely unavailable and not interested send me an expensive box of chocolates. I didn't think "how sweet!" I freaked out about how he found my address. there's a disconnect. there's also a guy in my neighborhood who's very nice and tries very hard to be social even when the other person is clearly in a hurry/not in the mood. once he gets his talons in you and starts talking it's impossible to break off the conversation. I don't have an issue with him, but many others (men and women) have labeled him a creep.

questioningwoman · 2017-05-13T20:46:34+00:00

Autism is very easy to spot. Can't look people in the eye. Weird but distinct pronunciation of certain words. Commonly missing basic social cues. General lack of empathy in tone. Can't miss it.

Spotting deadbeatness requires some modicum of self awareness. Have to know the guy's history if he doesn't show it 100%.

Electra_Cute · 2017-05-13T20:49:56+00:00

Who are these "deadbeats"?

radioactivities9 · 2017-05-14T01:12:55+00:00

I heard/read a TRP man say a good test of a woman's character is how she treats men who aren't attractive and/or high status. It's true. If she snubs a fat nerd as someone not even talking to she doesn't look for value in people that isn't superficial.

exit_sandman · 2017-05-14T16:01:54+00:00

If they are such good judges of character, then why do so many of them fall for deadbeats and pricks?

Because women aren't good judges of character, they're just good at gauging awkwardness. But due to the halo effect, they'll equate being comfortable around a guy with that guy being a decent person - and inversely, equate being uncomfortable around you with you being deserving of that dislike.

And bluepillers being bluepillers, they go along with this interpretation. So never forget: being bad with people also means being bad people. Glad I could help.

madude2016 · 2017-05-14T01:33:50+00:00

Biologically the only thing the female sex needs from male is his genes. Everything else is secondary. So only indications of good genes matter to visceral female attractions. Status, money, social skills, etc are all social constructs and secondary. TRP and PUA are hated so much by women because they confound the primary signals with fake secondary ones. We all know how devastated women feel when their reproduction system is polluted by inferior genes.

reepbot · 2017-05-14T00:41:32+00:00

Don't women who fall for deadbeats have low self esteem issues?

siaynoq11 · 2017-05-13T23:20:15+00:00

lol most of the women I know are married to caring, sensitive, badass men who aren't ~deadbeats~ who abuse them. I think you have the wrong social circle.

DeathByBeelzie · 2017-05-13T21:06:11+00:00

Most women really can't tell. There are a few that can somehow screen for douchbags, but most women really can't. The harsh truth is you are either autistic or ugly.

AutoModerator · 2017-05-13T20:41:41+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

rulenumber303 · 2017-05-14T04:26:53+00:00

Dude, just because you get along with people as friends doesn't mean they can't tell you're a bad idea as a relationship.

Let me introduce you to the concept of everyone getting their own personal tragedy. You see Hamlet? Macbeth would have just killed the Uncle, no tragedy. That's what life is like. Everything going just fine until the situation you can not deal with finds you because it worms its way past your defenses. You can be a good judge of situations 999 times out of a thousand, but that thousandth time ends in five years of terrible marriage, a divorce that takes longer than the marriage did, and misery.

If you're just generally crap and bad news you are going to have to work real hard to find the one person in a thousand who doesn't realise that... and eventually they will realise that anyway and it will all go to shit for you both anyway. Enjoy your life working real hard to be some other person's personal tragedy. Or stop being crap and bad news.

andrewisgood · 2017-05-14T13:23:15+00:00

Probably some of the deadbeats don't act creepy, and some creeps act creepy? I mean, it's not rocket surgery, it's not even brain science for that matter.

NonsensicalOrange · 2017-05-14T16:26:13+00:00

Women don't have the ability to spot perverts or assholes. Women, like men, have the ability to feel uncomfortable around people who look or act in an awkward or unpleasant manner, and might refer to those people as creeps.

What you are talking about are appearances/impressions. This has little to do with the kind of person you are, it's about the kind of person you seem to be. If a girl sees someone who is shy and awkward, they can be hard to talk to, it can make the girl feel uncomfortable, instead people want to date the people who impress them and are a real joy to be around (->appeal). A confident exciting man that makes a girl feel giddy could be their soulmate or a jackass, nobody knows, girls take a chance on someone who appeals to them (that's exactly what they should do).

Any time you hang out with someone there is a risk that the person might hurt you. No person is perfect, we can all be wrong, selfish, or have emotional outbursts. Dating someone is like that, except there are a lot more complicated feelings and desires (trouble can be thrilling, love can be blinding).

P.S. As a guy you might do the same as me, you are more likely to see jackasses because you are less empathetic to other guys (your competition). They can seem weird or selfish, they don't seem as considerate as you think you are. Many men and women with dating troubles pity ourselves, because we think we are special and get frustrated that others can't see it, but everyone else feels the same, we all have something to offer.

rtechie1 · 2017-05-14T16:28:06+00:00

Deadbeats are nothing at all like misogynist creeps. Lots of women are happy with a deadbeat type guy who is fun, happy and safe to be around whereas rk9/turboautists are actually far more likely to cause harm.

[deleted] · 2017-05-15T04:48:46+00:00

They are no better judges of character than men. Don't fall for that mythologising of women as having extra senses and abilities. They can only judge you on what they know about you, and it is up to you how that is distributed.

cami9x · 2017-05-13T23:09:32+00:00

Women can't sniff out misogynists but we can sniff out socially maladjusted losers :)

prodigy2throw · 2017-05-13T21:43:29+00:00

I only read the first two sentences and a bit of the comments in each link you posted. Are you saying we should exterminate incel s?

[deleted] · 2017-05-13T23:42:34+00:00

Why do you think that a deadbeat isn't a Chad??

whichbladeN · 2017-05-14T01:23:35+00:00

The kind of women who say they can notice misogyny or asshole behavior are the ones who actually don't date assholes.

Because they have standards for how they will allow themselves to be treated.

At least that's my experience.

VengefulAvocado · 2017-05-14T04:11:20+00:00

It partially depends on where you live and how you are brought up. In Russia, for example (and especially in a couple of cities) there are statistically more women than men. Also they are often brought up and to "grab a man asap and mary young." There's lots of married women who are happy to have a drunk or abusive husbands just because "they got a man." In Southern States, I've heard that the lack of sex ed and the pressure to marry early basically end up with a statistically high number of pregnant young women or women who mary before they LEARN to tell a deadbeat asshole from a normal guy (its all about experiences with different types of pepple and when you're young you're prpbably naive as hell). Just a couple of examples I've heard of. Also, out of personal experience, a shitty guy will still often go out of his way to impress a girl by appearing nicer and more gentlemany to her. Once he's got the girl, he can't keep the act up too long and once he starts treating her like shit, she's left thinking this is because of something SHE did wrong. And yeah, some women just can't tell for their lives I know a couple like that personally.

wyntonkniffin · 2017-05-14T05:17:11+00:00

My theory is that their aversion is just to unsuccessful and genetically inferior males.

Seems about accurate tbh. Except women's checks for whether you are an "ideal mate" or not is entirely subjective - mostly subconscious - generally the same - and you can learn how to fake your way through.

Mentality does not matter

Mentality determines your attitude. Women's attraction to men is based almost entirely on their attitude. If you have a mentality that says "I can get any woman I want" that will subconsciously project confidence. Women are attracted to confident men.

mistresswhat · 2017-05-14T06:51:10+00:00

Some people hide it better than others. TRP guys especially tend to overestimate their own intelligence/social skills while underestimating women's and they also skew really young (read: not nearly as great at hiding their feelings as they think they are) so I'm pretty skeptical when a lot of them claim women can't tell they're misogynists. I'm sure some of them are successful at it, just not all or even most of the ones who claim to be.

I have a pretty good gauge if someone is the type of guy to slam a girls head for burning the lasagna

You don't. At some point in your life you've probably met one of those guys and thought he was a cool dude, or at least that there was nothing wrong with him. And those guys intentionally lay it on real thick with the sweetness and romance early on and then later in between violent incidents or they'd never get anyone to stick around.

Deadbeats likewise are often pretty sweet and understanding when they're not leeching off their female partners. Their tack is often closer to "I'm so sad and helpless and my life is so hard, please take care of me because I can't take care of myself" than "give me all your resources, female human."

monkeysinmypocket · 2017-05-14T08:05:16+00:00

What's "supernatural" about being able to spot a creep? They act creepy.

Justapasserby557 · 2017-05-14T15:28:23+00:00

IME, men and women who had abusive parents have trouble with their "creep" detectors. They either end up with someone abusive or become abusive themselves and continue the cycle.

Mentally healthy men/women usually just look for cues that they've recognized before. Like one of the reasons I knew my fiance would be the one for me was how he reacted when I made small mistakes like forgetting my keys in his dorm, etc. He never got mad or took out any frustration on me, he would just laugh and help me out. If he had gotten irrationally angry or yelled at me at any point, I would have left, because I know that's a sign of not being able to deal with anger and could escalate.

the_calibre_cat · 2017-05-15T01:30:32+00:00

Deadbeats don't necessarily hate women, and probably aren't super awkward if they attracted a woman. Hell, I'd argue a hint of criminality is a boon for guys - being reasonably attractive and anti-authority is arguably a huge turn on for more secular women.

[deleted] · 2017-05-16T06:48:04+00:00

Two reasons.

1.) Women fall for deadbeats because these deadbeats are invested in making them do so. The deadbeats have gotten very good at lying to women.

Deadbeats don't give a shit if you, Somewhat Unattractive Autistic Dude, know they're deadbeats. They do, however, give a shit about Hot Club Girl knowing they're deadbeats. They want her invested before they start treating her like shit. They know she'll tolerate almost anything once she IS invested, and so they learn tricks to make her invest in them.

Which is why I say that RP is basically a cult of abusive men getting together and sharing secrets of being abusive. It's gross.

2.) People are fucking stupid when they're young.

3.) Women who were abused as kids often don't know that they deserve better on an emotional level. On an intellectual level they might understand it, but that doesn't come into play here.

Larry-Man · 2017-05-15T06:28:31+00:00

Speaking as the person who has given enough nice guys a chance to write a fucking book some people are really good and sincere in their actions at first. Then they find out relationships are hard work and turn into almighty douchebags.

And we don't have supernatural abilities for everything. Sometimes someone is "off" and we don't know why and sometimes they are not.

The best manipulators don't set off your detectors until it's too late.

Title	Q4BP: If women have this supernatural ability to tell someone is a misogynist creep, why do they so often fall for deadbeats?
Author	TheVanquishedOne
Upvotes	32
Comments	156
Date	May 13, 2017 8:41 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/6b01x4/q4bp_if_women_have_this_supernatural_ability_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4bp-if-women-have-this-supernatural-ability-to.268124 https://theredarchive.com/post/268124

Comments