Why so complicated? Seriously. Romantic ideas/romantic delusions.

SipsSparklingWater · 2016-11-29T11:44:09+00:00

Why does seemingly nobody think of romantic reasons

Because you have like 100 guys on here saying shit like "romance is ded" and "LTRs are for beta chumps" then bragging about banging all their plates.

The whole aversion to a high-N is hilarious, because you'd never actually know her N-count, it isn't stapled on her forehead. I think the guys saying they want low N-count women imagine a sweet girl in a flowery dress that only has eyes for them.

wombatinaburrow · 2016-11-29T11:44:40+00:00

If you want to play prince charming to some wide eyed virgin, you are better off trying to meet girls at Church. A sex positive girl who's used to making her own rules isn't really going to be down for all the knight in shining armour stuff; and your damaged girls who have been looking for live in all the wrong places are just going to be hurt and damaged by puritanical attitudes.

EsauTheRed · 2016-11-29T16:56:59+00:00

Sluts want to normalize slutdom, I have rarely seen a man look favorably on a slut for a long term partner

You should take most posts on PPD with a grain of salt, forums like this are not a representative sample of society, they tend to attract certain types of people

You can have whatever ideas you want, you'll find that you'll gravitate toward people with similar values and attributes as yourself, just get the basics down (clean and groom, exercise, get out and actually meet people)

wub1234 · 2016-11-29T15:53:47+00:00

The reason people object to this is that, for example, RP actively encourages men to sleep around, or at the very least commends them for doing so.

But then condemns women for doing the same, even if they are the very women that RPers are sleeping with.

This is obviously going to attract some negative reaction.

ThrowawayCactus6012 · 2016-11-29T12:49:52+00:00

Why does seemingly nobody think of romantic reasons as an answer to "why do many men have problems with a high n-count / her sexual past" and instead think of insecurity, jealousy and whatnot first and exclusively?

I think a lot of it has to do with the culture itself, which is somewhat oversexed and permissive to the point where "romance" and "love" have taken on completely different meanings in people's eyes. Men are pretty much reduced to the lowest common denominator where women believe that men are perpetually horny and "have only one thing on their minds."

As long as that's the assumption made about all or most men, then that's where their thinking will always take them. A man who actually feels love or romance for a woman - that's a relic from the past, or something that only happens in cheesy romantic-comedies, but not something to expect in real life.

sunkindonut149 · 2016-11-29T15:51:39+00:00

I think romance is derided by TRP as pedestalization and oneitis.

i_have_a_semicolon · 2016-11-29T11:21:52+00:00

How is ones idea of romance not a value if some kind ? Just wondering how you make such a distinction.

There was a thread in PPD that asked men specifically why they disliked high N count women, and most said they were simply disgusted or has a visceral reaction to a woman who has such a count. When pressed further to identify the root cause of said gut feeling, many reported the reasons you stated above.

Reals over feels. Your emotions regarding a matter doesn't mean shit really. Either it's irrational or not. Terps tend to lean more rationally so they will come up with a rational reason regarding their emotional feeling against such a woman. Only those who completely feel independently from their rationality could for instance dislike women with a high N count. Sure that's always a possibility, but an unlikely one. We are also socialized to set reasonable standards for our partners so having an emotional or irrational reason to not date someone is often frowned upon and shamed.

Those who dig deeper can find rationalizations. But however I agree the emotion preceded the rationalizations. It's just an intuitive feeling men have.

Also I will argue romance isn't the right word, because lots of men who don't like high N count women also don't always believe it is"their idea of romance". Lots of TRPs especially don't really care for romance. They are looking out for themselves.

I would say romantic types are more willing to disregard the past since that's the romantic thing to do. Be open and willing to accept her sounds more romantic than rejecting her for her past which sounds more pragmatic.

Candy_Kittens · 2016-11-29T15:10:34+00:00

I think it can be both. Men might feel that a woman with a high n count does not match what they are looking for in a partner. This could be because of religious reasons or personality differences.

Also a man might have a problem with high n count because of jealousy and insecurity issues.

Or it could be a combination of the two.

ozymandias271 · 2016-11-29T16:39:20+00:00

IDK about what some rando on the Internet's preferences for an LTR are, but it is annoying when they conclude that their preferences are the same as the preferences of every other man on the planet. Some guys are perfectly happy to court a slut, win her, do everything to make her happy, be prince charming incarnated and live happily ever after.

haikufun · 2016-11-29T20:28:34+00:00

Why does seemingly nobody think of romantic reasons as an answer to "why do many men have problems with a high n-count / her sexual past" and instead think of insecurity, jealousy and whatnot first and exclusively?

Sure, personal values, even romantic values, is a reason but even then there is a logic behind that preference. A person with a low notch count with a ltr only history possibly reflects a choosy and cautious person. A person who knows what they want. Someone who did not need an experimental phase to find themself...etc. This person would possibly be someone with less enotional baggage and with better communication skills than another option. Blah blah blah. But the point being that your preference of a type of romantic object could have reasoning behind it.

instead think of insecurity, jealousy and whatnot first and exclusively?

Amalt

GuitarsAreGettingOld · 2016-11-29T19:05:13+00:00

Everyone is denial that they just want a qt3.14 to hold them at night

VermiciousKnidzz · 2016-11-30T07:57:54+00:00

Why is it so hard to assume that it's just his idea of romance? Maybe even romantic delusions?

idgaf what his idea of romance is. society scolds women for having sex while congratulating men. valuing women (or anyone!) according to their amount of sexual partners is so horrible.

Court the girl, win her, do everything to make her happy, be prince charming incarnated and live happily ever after.

idealizing relationships is bad and unrealistic and the reason why so many men are unhappy. that idealized pedestal relationship you just described is unfair to women because we are human beings and we have casual sex and there's nothing wrong with that. edit: there are also a whole lot of women that dont want some dude to worship the ground they walk on and care for every whim.

And it's not because of jealousy or insecurity.

it totally is. well maybe not 100% of the time, but insecurity is often a factor. if you're worried she doesnt like you as much as her past partners or dont trust her purely on the basis that she had pas partners, that's insecurity.

rathyAro · 2016-11-29T21:57:22+00:00

Insecurity does play a role, but the romantic aspect you mention also plays a role. It's not all one thing and it's not the same for every person. While I defend a guy's right to exclude a girl as an option for being slutty I can see the other side's argument. The argument is that the guy actually hurts himself by excluding all sluts since they potentially miss good relationship opportunities.

SmurfESmurferson · 2016-11-30T01:55:54+00:00

I'm late, so this will get buried, but ...

Okay, so some or many men have a problem with a woman's slutty past.

IME, few do

Lots of explanations: insecurity, jealousy, seeing it as a red flag, male entitlement, misogyny, bitterness and so on

The biggest reasons, IMO, are:

Geographical areas
SES
Cultural/religious attitudes

Why is it so hard to assume that it's just his idea of romance? Maybe even romantic delusions?

It's not; everyone is allowed to have their own personal standards.

The objection/confusion is over certain men's inability to not shame/judge/whatever women they have never met, and aren't considering for a romantic relations.

Why? Because of the romantic ideas they grew up with.

So why, then, does TRP have an issue with the romantic ideals women grew up with? Tall, dark, and handsome, successful, dashing, white knight etc.

In short, quite frankly, Chad.

IMO, sluts getting enraged over N Count arguments = TRP betas getting enraged over Chad.

Aaren_Augustine · 2016-11-29T11:31:31+00:00

To give a buzz word about insecurity and jealousy is a convenient way of not taking any personal responsibility. So bad ass question.

You can't be romantic with a slut. I love both, being romantic and slutty girls. It just seems to have a adverse response...almost as if the romantic gesture is proof that the man is below the woman he is courting, slut or saint. So put simply, being romantic to a slut is going to make it harder on a guy in an LTR.

MRP says to have balance of both dominant and comforting acts. That's where most beta's get it all wrong as they will exclude dominant behavior for the more romantic gestures.

Its the dance of the beta male. His version of peacocking to make up for other major deficits of attraction. So just buy her skittles and go back to lifting weights.

[deleted] · 2016-11-29T13:19:55+00:00

[permanently deleted]

winterrider · 2016-11-29T19:09:38+00:00

It doesn't really matter. We just don't prefer girls who aren't whores. It is just the way us men are.

Women feel a deep disgust for men who are virgins and find this super disgusting.

Why do men not want to have long term relationships with whores and why do women feel disgust with sexually inexperienced men? Probably learned evolutionary behavior but at the end of the day it doesn't really matter, it is what it is.

PoopInMyBottom · 2016-11-29T23:04:57+00:00

I don't know about most guys but I know I'd prefer a relationship to sleeping around, provided I met the right girl. It's nothing to do with values. Intimacy is just a really nice feeling. Messing about with girls is fun, but it gets lonely.

Why does seemingly nobody think of romantic reasons as an answer to "why do many men have problems with a high n-count / her sexual past" and instead think of insecurity, jealousy and whatnot first and exclusively?

Because those emotions are strong, deep and instinctive - and they are our strongest motivators. Notions of romance aren't. They are a more logical explanation.

biblesjedi_mindtrick · 2016-12-01T06:02:42+00:00

Why does seemingly nobody think of romantic reasons as an answer to "why do many men have problems with a high n-count / her sexual past" and instead think of insecurity, jealousy and whatnot first and exclusively?

Because he spends most of his time trying to bang sluts?? Or trick a woman in an LTR into banging him. They seem to spend too much time describing how to push normal women into acting slutty. There are confusing contradictions between what they say they want, and their actions.

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Title	Why so complicated? Seriously. Romantic ideas/romantic delusions.
Author	GuitarsAreGettingOld
Upvotes	14
Comments	238
Date	November 29, 2016 11:00 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/5fi26q/why_so_complicated_seriously_romantic/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-so-complicated-seriously-romantic.271596 https://theredarchive.com/post/271596

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