CMV: "Nice guys" rarely, if ever, just want to get their dicks wet

[deleted] · 2016-01-03T09:50:40+00:00

[permanently deleted]

factsnotfeelings · 2016-01-03T11:00:12+00:00

The whole nice guy phenomenon is summed up very nicely by author Booker T Cox.

'The real reason why “Nice Guys” are given such a bad reputation among women is because they are typically physically unattractive and trying to make up for that with their personality, yet have nothing else of value to offer as adequate compensation for the lack of physical attraction. Personality alone is worthless. Attraction is either there within the first minute of meeting or it isn't. That's the difficult reality too many clueless guys refuse to accept. A guy who tries to use his personality to get women interested in him, yet has no carrot to dangle in front of her, is viewed as nothing more than a dishonest john by women the same way WE see a gold digger as a dishonest prostitute! That's why guys get played and thrown away as trash. A woman is not a machine, where you either have to pull a series of levers the right way to get the item – or just insert a coin – , and out comes a desire she didn't have toward you previously. Guys who say “make money to get the women” are essentially johns seeking a prostitute. Having an “attractive career” does NOT make a man more sexually attractive in a woman's eyes, only practically so. Sadly, too many women are sacrificing romance in the name of practicality, feeding the very mentality described above.'

From the book Pandora's Box: Men's Sexual Revolution

Ultramegasaurus · 2016-01-03T10:16:29+00:00

Being a would-be pump & dumper is just another aspect of the Nice Guy™ strawman. It's easier to hate on such a guy than on someone who wants a relationship.

TheSandbergPrinciple · 2016-01-03T05:38:09+00:00

Both the nice guy and jerk want to have sex with women. The only difference is, the nice guy is capable of treating women well, being romantic, caring about her, caring about other attributes other than tits+ass. Women rationalize why they don't like those nice guys by saying 'oh they're just TOO perfect', 'i don't deserve someone like him', 'i'm not ready to settle down with him', when in reality, the reason why they don't want to get with him/stay with him is because those women to get with the 6'2" Chad until she's 30... "Nice Guys" are mostly just above average looking all the way down to Omegas. . Actually, scratch that, they're deluded into thinking they can tame Chad into settling down with him and they think Nice guys are their parachutes when they learn they can't fly after they jump out of the plane.

The thing is, if you face years of rejection being a 'nice guy', eventually, many of those men break and become bitter/angry. (Cue Feminists/Blue pillers claiming 'this means he wasn't nice to begin with' ... as if you're not allowed to become angry when you try to do everything right and you still end up lonely).

Feminists get the behavior they incentivize. As Dave Chappelle once said: "Chivalry is dead... and women killed it". More and more men are going to MGTOW, PUA, or Redpill. Modern women aren't worth settling down with.

[deleted] · 2016-01-03T17:59:26+00:00

There's something being missed here. Yeah, Nice Guys may be expecting sex. But, I view sex as a VERY INTEGRAL PART of expressing my love for a woman. Meaning: sex is one of the primary ways I "show" my love. Being in a relationship with a woman (meaning in love) and not having sex for me is probably very similar to a touchy person never getting to cuddle with their mate. If we don't have sex, I don't feel like I'm able to express my love and affection.

So yes, for me, sex IS an expected part of a loving relationship with a woman. That DOES NOT mean I'm looking for a cum dumpster.

Xemnas81 · 2016-01-03T05:58:40+00:00

There only seem to be around 10 actual topics we can debate on this sub.

prodigy2throw · 2016-01-03T21:50:20+00:00

Women will do anything to justify why they rejected a beta. At the end of the day, he just wasn't a top 20 percent man. Simple as that

appencapn · 2016-01-03T07:35:15+00:00

The difference is most dudebros who are lifting pursue women that are actually in their league and nice guys are usually trying to get sex or LTRs from girls who are out of their league and have no interest in them. People look down on nice guys because they are dumb.

Also if they don't want sex then why can't they just be happy with a friendship with a girl?

[deleted] · 2016-01-03T09:28:34+00:00

I'll agree that they're not looking to use women as cumdumpsters, but the issue (to me) is the entitlement of nice guys who get upset and generally become off putting when they don't get things they're way.

It's along the lines of how we all dislike when a kid cries about not getting a toy in the store, it's unsettling.

MasherusPrime · 2016-01-03T06:44:32+00:00

Nice guys are usually "orbiting" a woman well out of their league. They are covert narcissists, living in a fantasy world, unable to accept what is actually available to them.

cron-nin · 2016-01-03T06:58:30+00:00

I think that's odd. It seems that a third of the posts that are here are about how guys can never be "Chad", how their jealous of how much sex he gets with all the hot girls and how the "normal" guys gets his leftovers when all of these girls hit thirty. I think that kind of sounds like they are interested in getting their dicks wet to me.

OlBastard · 2016-01-03T05:24:08+00:00

Once the nice guy(TM) gets his holy pedestalized cunt, he sees that it's really not worth that much, and the woman attached to it isn't all that great.

[deleted] · 2016-01-03T23:49:00+00:00

I can challenge your view, but only to this extent.

There are two kinds of nice guys. The first kind of nice guy is the genuinely good hearted, kind man who wants sex, but also a relationship. When they fail, they get irritated, frustrated and even a bit angry, but they don't view themselves as "entitled" to anythng. In fact they KNOW they're not entitled to anything (since they're out there night and day constantly trying to be nice and "qualify" for relationships and sex). But they express a lot of bewilderment that this awesome, foolproof method that everyone tells them is bound to work, fails over and over again. This is about 95% of "nice guys".

The other is the NiceGuy (TM). This is the man feminists and Blues talk about, and the one in your OP. The NiceGuy (TM) befriends women for the specific purpose of trying to get them into bed. Then when he fails, he changes from the surfacey, affable, friendly man, into a dark, violent and threatening man. He goes around saying things like "I was nice to her. She owes me sex!" or things like it.

There are many, many of the former. There are very, very few of the latter. Feminists and Blues vastly overstate the number of the latter, the number of NiceGuys (TM).

oryxic · 2016-01-03T05:14:55+00:00

This is one of the things about RP that I find most baffling because I have a lot of guy friends, I'd consider them all to be "nice guys", and they all do pretty damn good when it comes to women.

I'm a nerd, most of my guy friends are scrawny 'beta' beanpole/dadbod nerds. In our immediate group there are about 30ish guys and I'd say 70% or so of them are in long term relationships with attractive women. The ones that aren't have a few standouts as to 'why' they aren't dating (one is incredibly brash and obnoxious, one has a restraining order against his ex-wife who he continues to insist "forced" him to stalk her, one is heartbroken over last relationship and has telegraphed clearly he doesn't want to date right now, one is in the closet and hasn't come out yet, etc). The brash, obnoxious one has gone on several dates this year but they generally don't come back after date 2-3 because of the obnoxious part, the restraining order guy just got broken up with by his new fiance.) The non-obvious ones just seem to be kind of coasting between casual dates and I'll see them out occasionally with different women/they'll ask me to come wingman for them in a bar if they're looking to pick up a date.

That said, I know the plural of anecdote isn't data, but that's kind of all I feel like most people can provide in this situation.

anacrassis · 2016-01-03T05:02:56+00:00

So what? Even assuming that you're right, and they just want a sexless romantic relationship, they're still pretending to want something that they don't want—namely only friendship—and expecting their basic human decency to be rewarded with such a romantic relationship. This is also exactly why they're creepy.

e: lol downvoted by the TRP niceguy brigade.

Donald_Fuck · 2016-01-03T10:38:31+00:00

Your statement is 100% correct. You've presented a common example of the "nice guy", the one that is just as much of a sex fiend as any other but attempts to be "nice" to get sex. Your argument against what is scrutinised in these men, is solid.

They want both things, a cute relationship and sex. Both of these needs fulfilled. I don't believe this ideal is exclusive to the "nice guy". I believe redpiller, through to MGTOW, through to feminist, all want this ideal. Mostly.

The problem we face is fairness. I can really only speak of my experience which leans to TRP ideas. TRP hasn't given up on loving and being loved by a woman. But it has become evident that in the West, that such a relationship is becoming less and less ideal. Enter at your own risk, if you will.

Unfortunately for the nice guy, his methods are typically ineffective in getting the ideal he fantasises about and resent/anger is a likely outcome. Classic arguments against nice guys not getting what they want are ruthless, because wanting something from a woman is so terrible.

barbadosslim · 2016-01-03T05:18:46+00:00

This is totally unfalsifiable and undebatable.

Apexk9 · 2016-01-03T06:02:45+00:00

Nice guys are parasites latching on and hoping to one day infect the host.

At least with a dudebro you know what you're getting with a nice guy you assume they are your friend until they rape you that one night you call them to pick you up drunk outta your mind. (True story)

CursedLemon · 2016-01-04T01:48:02+00:00

The friend zone is about dating.

The ladder theory is about sex.

ManRAh · 2016-01-04T20:41:26+00:00

I'll be honest... I use to think I was a Nice Guy... then I realized I was only being held back by my fear of approaching women. I was afraid of my own sexuality.

And you know what? Maybe that's a better definition of a Nice Guy. A guy who's been shamed into hiding his sexuality by the world around him, so he has absolutely no reason how to pursue romantic relationships. You just have to be "friends" with girls until "it just happens". People use to say shit like that to me. "It'll just happen."

Then I "got lucky", literally. I was in college. I was doing dance and Rec League sports with dorm mates. Some girl had the hots for me, and before I could awkwardly fuck things up by making her believe had zero sexuality, we ended up drunk making out on a couch.

It still took me some time, but after that (and the subsequent rocky College Relationship that followed) and a few other stabs in the dark, I finally realized that expressing, and reveling in, my sexuality openly, was far more likely to win women over than pretending to be asexual until she was "comfortable enough".

Transmigratory · 2016-01-03T16:27:17+00:00

Easier to criticise a nice guy for that then openly admitting you don't go for nice guys while telling everyone you want a nice guy.

Title	CMV: "Nice guys" rarely, if ever, just want to get their dicks wet
Author	AldoR23
Upvotes	38
Comments	156
Date	January 3, 2016 4:56 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/3z8iwt/cmv_nice_guys_rarely_if_ever_just_want_to_get/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-nice-guys-rarely-if-ever-just-want-to-get.277302 https://theredarchive.com/post/277302

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