I’ve noticed there’s been a distinct uptick in the number of poly/open/‘ethically on-monogamous’ couples. Being in a monogamous relationship now is often painted as “unnatural”; an unnecessary burden “backwards” people place on themselves and others. “Poly” individuals or couples are often praised and lauded as being progressive and forward-thinking people who understand the realities of human nature or some such.

Modern society makes a lot of excuses as to why monogamy should be avoided. We’re told that men have a natural predisposition toward polygyny and “spreading their seed” meanwhile that women likewise, inherently enjoy having sex with a variety of partners and should have unbridled freedom to ‘express their sexuality’. Some even argue that women have a biological desire to sleep with multiple men so long as these men meet certain criteria (say, an “Alpha” who’s genes she is hardwired to desire to pass onto her offspring).

I feel like this is one of the biggest detriments to the SMP overall because we’re constantly being pressured to sleep around and many even use scare tactics to dissuade others from monogamy. Young people are warned against becoming “serious” or monogamous “too early” because they will regret not ‘exploring their options’ and having more sex, and that it will lead to resentment, unhappiness or even infidelity in the long run.

The new age approach to dating seems to be either going poly, open or refusing to take that final step of “committing”. In fact, I know many “couples” these days that are ‘unofficially, official’. Which is to say, a situation where both parties aren’t (or say they aren’t) sleeping with anyone else, spend the majority of their time together and are, for all intents and purposes, a couple, yet stave off labeling themselves as such so as to leave the door open for the ~ possibility ~ of sleeping with someone else.

After being cheated on – repeatedly – I myself considered an ‘open’ arrangement, thinking that well, maybe people were right and that monogamy really was outdated and unreasonable to expect. Fortunately, I quickly admitted to myself that when in a relationship, I don’t want to sleep with anyone else and I didn’t want to “share” my mate with other women either.

I feel common the theme these days seems to be monogamy is something to be avoided at all costs. I guess my question is, has anyone else out there noticed this?