What is the "bluepill" advice on dating for men?

whoareyou31 · 2020-10-23T14:47:29+00:00

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John_Oakman · 2020-10-23T12:01:45+00:00

Amass a solid economic foundation (and other firms of self improvement of course) and seek long term companionship as the basis for any relationship .

Barneysparky · 2020-10-23T13:13:36+00:00

Read "How To Win Friends and Influence People". Incorporate what you have learned into your daily interactions with others.

SaBahRub · 2020-10-23T13:28:43+00:00

Blue pill is just the mainstream world. So, whatever boring “normal” people would advise? Be attractive, don’t be unattractive, put yourself out there, be confident, lookout for red flags, etc.

akaean · 2020-10-23T13:28:04+00:00

the point is that I can clearly define and picture RP ideas and main concepts. I can not do so for BP.

You can't clearly define a BP dating strategy because it doesn't exist. As /u/Gravel_Roads points out in his comment, TBP is not a positive ideology but rather a reaction to TRP. Saying that TRP is wrong does not create an obligation to provide an alternative. The truth is that every person who is "blue pilled" has their own idea of effective dating strategy and advice. Some of it is good, some of it is bad, the point is that what unifies the blue pill is the belief that TRP is either bad advice, or harmful, often both.

What then is the alternative? The non-redpill dating advice?

I think you are being purposefully obtuse here. There is a metric ton of "non-redpill dating advice". I could go to any bookstore (or amazon but screw Bezos), and find an entire library worth of dating advice books, by men, by women, etc etc etc. Some of it will be good, some of it will be bad, some of it might even be "red pill", the point though, is that any advice you find, book or not, that isn't TRP could arguably be considered BP.

EDIT: looks like all the circlejerk posts were removed. ,Mods are just, I suppose I can stop whining now :)

Gravel_Roads · 2020-10-23T13:04:47+00:00

Good question, but there is no answer. BP was originally a reaction sub to RP, and it was mostly normies making fun of the dudes on the RP subs who were already doing RP dating wrong.

So “Blue Pill” is just kinda normal people who don’t think of social interactions as “shit tests”, don’t think “I better use Amuse an Amplify!” Ect. That doesn’t mean plenty of BP people (literally, the people from the BP sub), don’t also use some RP varieties of behavior, they just didn’t learn it from the RP pantheon or refer to it by the (super cringey) RP names.

The things they mock the most are the cringey dudes lying to get women, and having weird overly elaborate expectations, naive or outlandish interpretations, or weird assumptions about human nature. The dudes who go “rar how do I pass a shit test from a coworker who thinks she’s better than me!” because they confuse RP with “how to be a tough guy everyone respects” instead of “how to maximize your features to attract women”.

Since people are stupid and flawed, this doesn’t mean there aren’t also plenty of cringey BP dudes as well. They just tend to have the self-awareness not to broadcast it to the world on the RP subs.

So I guess the primary difference is BP seems to have a bigger focus on self-awareness and exercising empathy (in that they can put themselves in the other person’s shoes and get and idea for how they’re coming off to others.) This is the primary difference I see between RP dudes and BP execution. BP do more to avoid embarrassing themselves.

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-10-23T12:01:39+00:00

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Mult1Lay3rP3rc3ptr0n · 2020-10-23T14:20:16+00:00

For getting a LTR...

Dating is all about making yourself the most competitive individual to land dates. It's also about learning to take failure with stride.

Maximize yourself in all aspects. Make yourself the most competitive person you can be.
Learn to embrace failure and grow from it.

How to make yourself more competitive in the dating market...

SELF-IMPROVEMENT

Be healthy (physically and mentally)
Maximize your looks
Work towards a meaningful career (it doesn't need to make a lot of money)
Have platonic friends you regularly hangout with

TRP has a lot of this advice but it's layered in sexism and pseudoscience so get this advice from somewhere else. There are plenty of wholesome subs with the same advice.

ATTITUDE CHANGE:

Treat women like equals. If you want a LTR with a confident women stop negging and putting up an arrogant facade. It's a huge turn off.
Stop feeling bad for yourself and take accountability for all your failures.
Learn to be confident with who you are. Adopt a idgaf attitude about things you can't/don't want to change about yourself.
Keep trudging along and never give up. Self-improvement takes time so don't give up if you don't see immediate results.

I'd say the most successful men are the ones who are naturally confident and never give up. Some men are born with that attitude and some men aren't. If you don't have this attitude then you need to work towards adopting it.

OPTIONAL:

Mental health treatment. If you think a mental health issue is the reason you're struggling with getting dates then please get treatment.

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-10-23T12:56:11+00:00

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2020-10-23T15:11:41+00:00

It's not a 'thing'. Different people would give different advice.

Grave_Heresy · 2020-10-23T23:17:18+00:00

Here are the top things that they have.

"Just be confident bro"
"Be yourself"
"Take a shower and groom"
"Nice guys win in the end"
"Women like assertive men"

Basically cliche bullshit that does absolutely nothing to get average-looking or dusty guys to get partners.

wtknight · 2020-10-23T18:52:49+00:00

There is a relationship advice subreddit that generally gives out Blue Pilled advice. There is no codified Blue Pill Advice, though. Blue Pill just means “not Red Pill.”

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-10-23T13:39:00+00:00

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Mrs_Drgree · 2020-10-23T13:59:40+00:00

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2020-10-23T15:52:46+00:00

The most bluepill advice would be to "follow your heart"

Mult1Lay3rP3rc3ptr0n · 2020-10-23T19:14:27+00:00

Of course, except it wasn't branded that until recently. Many were sold on the BP fantasy of JBY (just be yourself), of which rules 1 and 2 contradict.

throw-away-1709 · 2020-10-23T19:51:53+00:00

lemme_tell_you · 2020-10-24T04:18:22+00:00

Bluepill isn't even an organized "thing." Even the bluepill sub is merely a parody - they don't really consider themselves as part of any pill ideology, just consider themselves normal.

What bluepill is, at least according to what I'VE OBSERVED, is sort of an idealistic perspective (imo dumb hopeful positivity bordering on willful ignorance) on gender and relational and sexual dynamics. They deny or avoid the darker or more unsavory elements of human behavior.

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-10-23T12:07:36+00:00

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KapteeniJ · 2020-10-23T11:53:46+00:00

Have standards, have spine, have respect for others, understand what you want, and go for that. Communicate a lot, and clearly, ann honestly.

That's it in a nutshell, things that trp gets wrong compared to blue pill.

Haywood_Jablomie42 · 2020-10-23T14:03:04+00:00

BP for me is nothing else but a stance against the formulaic view of TRP-worldviews and derivative dating strategies.

Keeping in mind that TRP isn't a monolith, and that us bloopers aren't that consistent or have any other views other than not agreeing with some core or recurring tenets of TRP. Also, parodying some field reports by some lunatics is fun.

That being said, me being bluepill doesn't make me automatically contrarian to any viewpoints that TRP espouses. Lifting, working out, not being a pushover– these are all good universal tips.

––––

Edit: If y'all want to kill this sub, downvoting BP opinions on a Q4BP is the best way to do it. Read the rules, children

taapy234 · 2020-10-23T13:06:06+00:00

It's the same as redpill advice, but it's nicer to women and uses different language which isn't as harsh but doesn't get the point across.

Take confidence for example. BP people say "just be confident" and leave it at that. If someone doesn't know what that looks like or how to do it, it's worthless advice. RP tells you what mannerisms and speech convey confidence (or arrogance but most women can't tell the difference or just don't care as long as the guy is hot).

Blue pill advice is all about keeping the WAW effect intact and making fun of Red pill advice. In truth, both pills kind of suck, but since women refuse to give up their extreme choice privilege... here we are.

2020-10-23T14:54:05+00:00

Redpill is mostly built on the idea that female nature is different to male nature, so blue pilled advice would be any generic advice which can apply to men and women. But that doesn't mean redpill is at conflict with blue pilled advice.

Only thing blue pilled gets right over the red pill is that you gotta be genuine and authentic.

Dora_Bowl · 2020-10-23T12:35:01+00:00

Why does there have to be an alternative?

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-10-23T13:08:58+00:00

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Mrs_Drgree · 2020-10-23T13:12:57+00:00

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Mrs_Drgree · 2020-10-23T13:23:32+00:00

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Mrs_Drgree · 2020-10-23T14:07:25+00:00

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Mrs_Drgree · 2020-10-23T14:30:58+00:00

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Mrs_Drgree · 2020-10-23T14:56:32+00:00

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relish5k · 2020-10-23T16:18:41+00:00

I'm stealing this from dan savage

You're having a hard time getting girls. That sucks. I remember what it was like when I was a young teenager and wanted boys and couldn't get any. It sucked. But the sad fact is that most young teenage boys are repulsive—that is, they are half-formed works in progress. Girls mature physically more quickly than boys, which means most girls your age already look like young women and they're generally attracted to (slightly) older boys—and there you are, aching for your first girlfriend, but still looking like a short, hairless chimp. But don't despair. Your awkward/repulsive stage will pass. In the meantime, here's what you need to do: Worry less about getting your young teenage self laid and start thinking about getting your 18- or 20-year-old self laid. Join a gym and get yourself a body that girls will find irresistible, read—read books—so that you'll have something to say to girls (the best way to make girls think you're interesting is to actually be interesting), and get out of the house and do shit—political shit, sporty shit, arty shit—so that you'll meet different kinds of girls in different kinds of settings and become comfortable talking with them. Some more orders: Get a decent haircut and use deodorant and floss your teeth and take regular showers and wear clean clothes. Go online and read about birth control and STIs, and learn enough about female anatomy that you'll be able to find a clitoris in the dark. Masturbate in moderation—no more than 10 times a day—and vary your masturbatory routine. I can't emphasize this last point enough. A vagina does not feel like a clenched fist.

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-10-23T16:34:13+00:00

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Mrs_Drgree · 2020-10-23T16:38:50+00:00

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Copperstoner · 2020-10-23T16:54:24+00:00

There is no unified BP dating advice, but I would suggest:

Get physical attractive (no brainer)
Get mentally stable and stand your ground, for example by practicing stoicism
Don’t put other people on a pedestal
Learn to set boundaries in human interactions
Learn how to inject yourself into a group of women in a bar (you need to practice this of course)

That’s what I would suggest spontaneously

2020-10-23T19:43:16+00:00

I'm probably not qualified to answer: but be healthy (mentally and physically), be stylish, do what it takes to be physically attractive, be interesting and finally be masculine (there are women out there that like somewhat feminine men, but for the vast majority being masculine is your best bet).

This advice won't help you get laid, but I feel it's important: be authentic and virtuous even if it hinders your ability to get laid. It won't do you any good to get laid if you have to live an uncomfortable lie or become something you hate. Keep in mind that women are people too, if you're going around hurting women, people are going to take notice and your life will at some point get harder.

psypD · 2020-10-24T14:16:18+00:00

There is no bluepill just like there is no spoon.

2020-10-24T22:24:45+00:00

If you have to ask, you’ll never know.

Sid_Insidious · 2020-10-25T08:41:36+00:00

Compete fervently with other men for women not worth competing for.

Get shamed ridiculously if you do not.

anonymouscausefuckU · 2020-10-26T03:17:10+00:00

Honestly? From what a lot of blue pill-esque rhetoric I’ve heard and seen online, I’m pretty sure the blue pill advice would literally just be “don’t have sex”.

I’m not exaggerating, that seems to be one of the most common responses to incel culture and male dating struggles in media outlets like Vice, Buzzfeed, Huffington Post, etc. It’s almost like they’re basically saying “why do you want to have sex? That’s misogynistic! You only want to have more dating options because s o c i e t y ™️ taught you that you’re supposed to due to toxic masculinity!”

Other than that, the other two common responses from blue pills (esp women) would generally be to lower your standards, or just simp your way into a relationship where your girlfriend has all the leverage in her hands. “Be a gentleman” “be nicer” etc etc

Roachcluster · 2020-10-26T14:06:56+00:00

The bluepill advice would be to be a simp. To tolerate her shitty behavior because in the end she will settle for the nice guy. Just hang in there.

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Title	What is the "bluepill" advice on dating for men?
Author	i_am_legi0n
Upvotes	24
Comments	229
Date	October 23, 2020 11:03 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/jgkzzy/what_is_the_bluepill_advice_on_dating_for_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-is-the-bluepill-advice-on-dating-for-men.323842 https://theredarchive.com/post/323842

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