My friend she wouldn’t mind being casually proposed to while doing dishes or taking out garbage - I hope I never get to this point

elvn-elvn · 2020-12-02T16:25:40+00:00

I had a high school teacher who was talking about her forever girlfriend proposal, and he literally threw the ring down on the couch while she was working out and said “It’s there if you want it.”

I remember telling my ex about it, and he loved that idea, loved it, said it’s exactly how he wanted to propose.

strainedcrow · 2020-12-02T17:06:45+00:00

Lol my LV ex asked me to marry him while we were laying on his bed in his moms house where he lived bc he was jobless. I teared up because I was like damn he really doesn't care about me. They stop vetting their bfs once they've given him the stamp of approval for whatever reason. Never stop vetting. A marriage proposal is only worth as much as the man you're marrying idk..

needsmoresilk · 2020-12-02T16:45:29+00:00

Yup - the key point you make here is effort. How much effort is the guy putting into the relationship including defining moments of the relationship. Especially one as important as the proposal which is (or should be) an explicit and intentioned request to spend your lives together. It’s a pretty heavy request and should be well planned and thought out. This means effort.

For the male lurkers asking why the man should do this “heavy lifting” - without going into financial and societal power differentials- it has been proven over the course of history and more recently in sociological studies that women are far more likely to carry the weight of the relationship throughout its lifetime, not just defining moments like a proposal. OP’s friend is a perfect example of this. The least a man can do is show care and effort in the proposal, which we’ve already said is a heavy request, to show that he is just as invested.

The proposal is one data point which gives us an indicator of how invested he may be in the rest of the relationship (but this is not a fail safe, which is why we vet consistently and look for this intentioned effort throughout, but especially at key moments)

werker115 · 2020-12-02T16:28:32+00:00

My ex proposed to his ex wife while they were painting the basement...

Crystal403 · 2020-12-02T17:25:00+00:00

I ashamed to admit I once accepted a proposal from someone with them not having a shirt on and giving me the ring in our bedroom.... ugh

Obviously now a ex we didn’t end up marrying as he wanted to keep me as a forever fiancée 😅

moonartemis1989 · 2020-12-02T17:50:19+00:00

I just hope I never get proposed to in public ever again. Embarrassing these dudes by saying no every time is getting annoying. Like now that you invited my family, I have to explain to them why I said no! Don’t do it lol. I can act like you never asked if it’s in private 😂

honeybeeroll · 2020-12-02T17:28:02+00:00

I'm sorry for your friend :(. She sounds really defeated. It's possible to come back from feeling so low, but you have to admit you're low first and be willing to change, which means willing to dump the anchors weighing you down, like that loser bf.

"a place with a happy memory" seriously, it's not hard if you actually CARE about the other person lol. My brother proposed to his wife on a beach in California when they were on vacation there, to a spot I think they'd been a couple times previously. Super nice, and simple. I doubt I'll ever want to marry, but let's say I did, a man would learn within like a week of dating me how much I love the beach and dislike crowds. Pretty easy to figure out a proposal with 2 crucial things about me I shared during week 1 of dating and that would come up continuously through the whole relationship.

yomommahouse · 2020-12-02T21:58:53+00:00

I had an ex propose to me in the kitchen next to the toaster oven while eating a chicken wing. I declined that heartfelt super romantic moment..he was just toooo good for me haha. Well we broke up and he ended up stalking me for a year. He would call my job...show up at my job...follow me to lunch etc. It was a terrifying time.

wrice05 · 2020-12-02T21:51:00+00:00

Girls give so much credit to lazy men and make so many excuses for them, when they wouldn’t dream of being so thoughtless and selfish to their partner in return.

This is SO true. And I am DONE being shamed for my standards. Find them out, accept them, live up to them, or GTFO.

romantickitty · 2020-12-02T18:44:17+00:00

I understand having a casual (as in, not a special date night) conversation about getting married and seriously talking through your beliefs and plans for the future like adults. But, even if you're expecting it because you've already talked about it, I still think someone should put in the effort to make a proposal feel meaningful and romantic. If you have the option to make someone feel cherished or devalued, why would you choose devalued unless you have something to gain from lowering their expectations or undermining their self-esteem?

Jiou112 · 2020-12-03T03:53:55+00:00

"Low funds is not synonymous with low effort." I like that. Being financially stable, not being cheap, those are important; however I've seen some amazing proposals and date ideas that can actually be done with a respectable price.

MummyCroc · 2020-12-02T20:32:40+00:00

Maybe its because I'm from a different culture thats not Western, so a proposal wasn't a big deal to me. In my culture, when your boyfriend meets your aunt (father's sister/cousin to be specific) that is when he is considered to have serious intentions towards you. And usually a month or 2 after that, the traditional marriage is done. So any man who is serious about marriage will have his ducks in a row once you introduce him to your aunt, because brideprice is expected soon after. In my culture, men who propose are the ones to look out for because they lock you into forever fiance land without making the actual commitment to marriage

6lackPrincess · 2020-12-03T11:00:48+00:00

Prince Harry proposed to Megan Markle while she was in the kitchen cooking chicken or something 😅 curious to know all your thoughts on that?

san__404 · 2020-12-03T13:43:55+00:00

Low funds is not synonymous for low effort! Perfect!

Sisi21cent · 2020-12-03T17:15:46+00:00

I have a coworker who picked the ring for her boyfriend to buy.

When proposed she published a photo of them with him making a “stupid face” as if it wasn’t an important moment.

She is 32 and has been with him for at least 10 years.

No surprises here...

Title	My friend she wouldn’t mind being casually proposed to while doing dishes or taking out garbage - I hope I never get to this point
Author	thanarealnobody
Upvotes	337
Comments	37
Date	December 2, 2020 3:58 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/k5bv2n/my_friend_she_wouldnt_mind_being_casually/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/my-friend-she-wouldnt-mind-being-casually-proposed.329020 https://theredarchive.com/post/329020

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