CMV: Most women don't "settle for betas". They marry the hottest, most stable guy that they are able to snatch.

Teflon08191 · 2020-02-05T16:04:08+00:00

I don't think women settle at all. Women do what biology tells them - procreate with a quality man. Or don't procreate at all.

The meteoric rise of single motherhood would suggest that your assertion is incorrect.

57% of all millennial moms are single moms.

Advanced-Show · 2020-02-05T16:31:41+00:00

You're seeing what you want to see. I guarantee there were plenty of ugly, scruffy, average or below average looking guys out with their kids that day. Maybe you were just in a wealthy neighborhood but if you went to a poor neighborhood you'd see poor, unattractive men out with kids all the time.

says_harsh_things · 2020-02-05T15:05:22+00:00

First, the 'local average' can vary by location/economic zone. youll find average men/women far more attractive in upper class cities than you will rural, working class farming towns. Without knowing where you are, it's possible you're on the high end of the spectrum.

That point aside, the 'hottest, most stable' is not an objective measure. Is 'hottest' the first priority or the second? If a guy is a 7 on looks and a 3 on stability, does he win out over a guy that's a 5 on looks and a 5 on stability? What about a guy that's a 6 on looks and a 10 on stability?

Last, 'being with' a wife at a park with your kids is not a measure of relationship success for men. That is success for women. To know if he is happy, youd have to know if she is actually fucking him with interest. It's unlikely that information is public. To be fair, I dont know that information specifically either, but I can say there are a lot of my friends that have a great family, a fantastic public-facing life, and the cutest christmas card photos you've ever seen, but their wife wont touch them in bed. Its unfortunately too common.

CainPrice · 2020-02-05T16:44:50+00:00

Women marry the best guy they are able to snatch at the time that they settle down to get married.

If they were hot when they were 25 and are now kind of older and fatter and uglier at 35, that man they marry is going to be different than the kind of man they used to date when they were 25. Even though this is actually the best guy she can marry at the time, it feels a lot like settling.

And while women marry the best guy they're able to snag, this isn't always objectively an amazing guy, and women are not blind to this fact and ignorant that their men aren't objectively amazing. Marrying a guy who is not objectively amazing and knowing it feels a lot like settling. And knowing/accepting that this is the best a woman can do makes her feel bad about herself and hate herself, which she often takes out on her man - that guy who lives with her and serves as constant reminder of where she stands.

And men change, too. A guy who was okay-ish when she married him sometimes gains weight, goes bald, loses his job, or stops doting on her as much. Or maybe she thought he was a certain kind of guy and their lives would be a certain way only to learn after being in the same house with this guy 24-7 that he's not as awesome as she thought. He's a little less than she thought. And being with a guy who's a little less than she thought she was getting feels a lot like settling.

barbodelli · 2020-02-05T15:07:29+00:00

I think you have to define "most women" very accurately. Before you can have a real discussion on this topic.

Most men are not physically attractive

Most women are not physically attractive

ALL WOMEN (and all men) want to marry and have children with the hottest most stable partner they can find. Thats everyone. Fuck the hypergamy bullshit. EVERYONE wants a hot partner. How much they are willing to compromise depends to a large part on their options. Which is why women appear to be more hypergamus. Men are just thirstier creatures.

Now if your argument is "Most attractive women don't settle". That is probably true. They find another attractive partner, have kids with them etc etc. But there is not enough attractive men to go around for every average woman to find one. It works both ways there is not enough attractive women to go around for average men. For this reason a large % of PEOPLE not just women end up "settling".

But settling in itself is an obscure term. If I date someone that only me and a small handful of men find attractive. Most men do not. HOWEVER I AM PERFECTLY SATISFIED WITH HER APPEARANCE. Is that really settling? Not to me it isn't. Settling would be dating someone I had no attraction to because it was either that or being alone.

Just my 2 cents.

Workaholiconew · 2020-02-05T15:02:35+00:00

They marry the highest valued men who ask them to marry. Men are the ones asking women into marriage after all.

The fact is that most alpha men have very little reason to ask women into marriage and are a minority. Thus, most marriages usually happen with betas.

But being 'high value' in beta traits or alpha traits does not matter she just wants a high valued man. Alpha is just the most efficient way for men to acquire sex.

If you are in a region where there is lots of women marrying high valued men in alpha traits, congrats, but this only proves TRP predictions.

NeedingAdvice86 · 2020-02-05T16:44:02+00:00

You must live in a very different community....around most of the US, the married men are dad bod less that stellar guys particularly in their 30s and 40s.

And from what I can tell they are slightly depressed as they lament that sex comes on special occasions and birthdays....or when they finish a particularly demanding honey-do-list DIY project on the house.

Basically, most women marry the most attractive GUY that they think that they can keep and whom they don't have to worry about leaving them....they settle in the sense that they don't pick extremely attractive\high value guys because they don't want to be worried everytime that he leaves the house that some bunny at the local café\grocery will steal him away.

Basically, lots of girls like to have husbands that have no other options so that they can be assured that he isn't going anywhere because his only chance at sex is at home....some pick average while others work to beta\average down their guy over time but the end result is the same....make them unattractive to other women for peace of mind.

And I suspect that your gauge of "hot guys" seems to be off because if the women have let themselves go and aren't pimping up to be attractive and desirable then that signifies that they don't feel as though their "hot" guy has any other options and they can put in minimal effort to keep him around.

Ordinary-West · 2020-02-05T18:44:39+00:00

If that was the case there wouldn't be so many single moms, trailer trash advice etc.

2020-02-05T16:55:07+00:00

Found the DILF chaser.

wtknight · 2020-02-05T14:55:42+00:00

These were mostly tall, handsome men, strong jaws, full set of hair

Congratulations. It sounds like you live in a privileged area. In most of the West, most men are of average height, average looks, and not particularly attractive to average women. But most women settle down with them anyway if they want families.

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M4sterDis4ster · 2020-02-05T19:43:38+00:00

You saw one set of men who were apparaently good looking.

Considering that most of the men eventually get married, it means most of the men are settled down for.

Considering another fact that around half of the marriages fall apart and for most of them women are asking for separation, is enforcing the first point.

High quality man is rare, thus most of the men arent.

2020-02-06T12:53:13+00:00

You’re correct. It’s just that when they’re 36 and have baby rabies, the hottest, most stable guy who wants them is a hopeless beta schlub.

Willow-girl · 2020-02-05T16:33:58+00:00

Yea, I was once bitter about women's standards. 7/10 women want 8/9/10 men. But then it dawned on me one day- I too would not want some so-so guy putting his d*** in me. LOL. So I cannot blame them as well.

the problem with this, at times, is that women will give their reproductive utility to a man who has no REAL intention of staying with her. And then you have a welfare state where the "betas" and "incels" are paying welfare into a system and to women who never wanted them and often wouldnt even look at them or talk to them. This type of worker bee drone society is not ideal. In an ideal world there would be one woman for every man, but thats just not how things are. And all of this is why I am a libertarian. You do you, and Ill do me. But dont expect my income to be there for you when you were never there for me. I refuse to get with a 6/10 so I remain single. Please dont tax me for YOUR babies.

gimpgirl555 · 2020-02-05T15:36:12+00:00

Women were not necessarily as attractive as their counterparts.

I don't think women settle at all. Women do what biology tells them - procreate with a quality man.

You can tell how much a woman values a man by how much effort she makes to keep him.

If women weren't settling you'd see them working hard to keep their men. They'd all be skinny, have boob jobs, and buy their men sports cars.

Also they wouldn't let their men out of the house alone.

ohheyhi99 · 2020-02-05T16:08:25+00:00

"hotness" isn't a factor whatsoever for me in terms of potential lifetime partner. i don't get the vibe that thats a high level concern for any of the women in my immediate environment either. i prioritize ideal lifestyle goals over shit like that when it comes to who i'm going to be marrying and starting a family with. there was more like a minimum threshold for looks. i care way more about like what neighborhood he wants to raise a family in and other minutia

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createweirdstories · 2020-02-05T19:59:13+00:00

I've never dated a guy that wasn't more attractive than me. I'm not capable of sex with one. I could betabux and cuck him while he's in a chastity cage though.

So this must be true.

rus9384 · 2020-02-05T20:29:21+00:00

Most women settle (or remain single, single mothers included).

There are not enough hot guys for most women.

Make a conclusion yourself.

2020-02-05T21:24:45+00:00

The west has a fat people problem... Most people in america are far off their potential hotness because they're overweight.

a lot of incel guys are just fatcels who could ascend if they lost weight. Femcels are similar but I've found that girls keep up their weight better, at least in California.

2020-02-05T21:58:39+00:00

Assuming you're in the US, do this: google "the most expensive real estate in the US" or "the most expensive places to live in the US" or "hotbeds for Real Estate in the US" or similar articles.

There are many lists like those, well I have lived in 2 of those US towns, in one of them for well over 10 years partly when I was married, and then I remained there after my divorce.

Weel, find the closest to you and ... go there. Hang out there, drive around the 2-3 million dollar homes, see the women and look at the guys. The vast majority of women are former HB 8 and 9, while the vast majority of guys are smart nerds. Yes they are stable, and that's why the trophy wives picked them; but they are not hot at all.

You should hear the shit that trophy wives say.

And by the way, the vast majority are:

drinking daily
on Prozac or similar
in therapy

because they are not happy

TheBookOfSeil · 2020-02-05T22:18:41+00:00

TYL that “beta” isn’t strictly limited to appearance. Alpha and beta describe thoughts, actions and attitudes. Hot muscular guys can be meek, shy, socially awkward, or lack social skills related to being attractive to women, and that’s what makes them beta. Your guy isn’t “alpha” just because you think he looks like Channing Tatum.

LillthOfBabylon · 2020-02-05T23:44:52+00:00

Beta has no real meaning anymore. It seems to just translate to “most of the male population that has a healthy love/respect for women”.

sadomasochrist · 2020-02-06T00:30:08+00:00

Selection literature shows this isn't true. They select against attractive traits. Stability is more important, hotness isn't actually even part of the equation.

They absolutely settle.

AF\BB post in my profile.

PrincepsOmni · 2020-02-06T06:34:15+00:00

Only unstable, unintelligent or emotionally damaged women would settle with a beta.

They want a man who is at least equal or better than them in areas that matter to them. That's usually height/phsyicality, character, wealth, intelligence, talent etc.

It's always been this way. A women with a brain isn't going to breed with a beta.

That said we have growing evidence the widespread use of the contraceptive pill keeps women in the part of their cycle where they prefer softer men. We are seeing a lot of women on the pill breed with unmasculine men, going off the pill then realising they are not that attracted to them.

lionhart280 · 2020-02-07T01:23:08+00:00

It all boils down to the 36% rule, which exists all over and has been proven time and again to, on average, be how this system works.

jenovajunkie · 2020-02-07T03:01:40+00:00

binkerfluid · 2020-02-07T06:03:50+00:00

I mean I think there is a reason poor, unsuccessful middle aged and above men are the ones who kill themselves the most often (as I understand it).

darudeboysandstorm · 2020-02-05T16:42:11+00:00

Some women date good guys, some date losers.None of them date whiners, and none of them dates school shooters™

Emervila · 2020-02-05T15:56:41+00:00

Many things to talk about and disagree:

Saw so many above-average guys with kids there: above average is not top, is not alpha. Maybe you saw a garden of chads like the chadlyssium or something
Women do what biology tells them - procreate with a quality man: false when you take a look on stats from 2009-2018 single motherhood has been slowly but firmly rising also among certain communities there's such disparity like 65% Blacks, 41-45% biracial against 25% white to even less 15% Asian. there's definitely a very key cultural factor acting in all this.

I get this feminist argument ugly men shouldn't reproduce but this also kills chances for ugly females since you guys are point to a natural selection based purely on looks which is wrong. The sole beauty concept is human-made, nature has some functional-health parameter but that isn't beauty as we humans understand it, even among us, beauty standards have evolved through history.

If you just google top 50 scientists of all time you'll see above average, average and even ugly people, just very very few being a top beauty but all those 50 and more are the ones who brought our civilization to where we are now so our survival depends also and mostly on intelligence rather than simple beauty hence the 100% natural imperative for reproduction is false.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2020-02-05T21:21:19+00:00

Stability lowers attraction. The hottest stable guy kills his sex life by betaing out and abandoning whatever alpha traits got him the girl in the first place.

MuleFool42 · 2020-02-05T15:48:57+00:00

Are they the actual fathers? But if the men you saw are in their 30's and 40's then yes, maybe there is some of that. It would be better for those guys, if they actually looked as good as you say, to stay single and enjoy their time in the dating market while they're seen as a good catch.

Orange_Paisley · 2020-02-05T14:57:22+00:00

Dunno, I loved being a single mother. 100% would do again. If I had my life to do over, I would have had the kid and never married the husband. Oh, but that is not the topic at hand, I suppose.

Maybe, just maybe, they marry these men because they actually love them, not because they are settling or because of looks or status? I know love is not a thing in RP world but it does exist.

Title	CMV: Most women don't "settle for betas". They marry the hottest, most stable guy that they are able to snatch.
Author	Semibrokenbunny
Upvotes	33
Comments	138
Date	February 5, 2020 2:51 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ezane8/cmv_most_women_dont_settle_for_betas_they_marry/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-most-women-dont-settle-for-betas-they-marry.330388 https://theredarchive.com/post/330388

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