My ltr randomly dyed her hair pink and I hate it

Aluhard · 2020-03-23T15:58:06+00:00

southflsup · 2020-03-23T16:20:01+00:00

In nature, certain animals are colored brightly (shades of yellow, red , orange) to warn predators that they are toxic and should be avoided. The same thing applies to chicks who dye their hair crazy colors

salezman12 · 2020-03-23T17:12:33+00:00

I dont understand why this is a conversation. If you don't like it, move on.

That aside, I like weird colored hair. Its hot (well you know, if the girl is hot in the first place). But...probably not LTR type of hot, more like, plate kind of hot.

urbanfoh · 2020-03-23T19:35:17+00:00

You woman should always be concerned whether you find her attractive. If she doesn't she is not afraid to lose you and you shouldn't either.

bumbuff · 2020-03-23T16:40:05+00:00

There is a discussion is to be had.

If she's doing it because other woman are doing it and she wanted to try it, similar to most guy getting frosted tips in the 90's, then it's an easy one to get over.

However...

If she's idolizing 'non-conforming' women and following new ideologies that conflict with an ideal 'monogamous' household I'd next her hard. Or start bringing her to church.

WhatRemainsAfter · 2020-03-23T15:56:50+00:00

Damn. You LTR seem to have some underlying anger against the society and it is her way to say fuck you to them. Or has some serious daddy issues.

Is she super young? In teenage years, such phase comes.

Also, i dunno whether i will dump her but would let her know, I don't approve. It doesn't seem serious on her part to not even consult.

Create some dread. Let her know via action, you don't like such random acts of stupidity. If she consider you enough, she will clean her act or you save your time and move on.

NightwingTRP · 2020-03-23T19:03:07+00:00

You're angry because it's openly disrespectful. Women know their looks are a prime attraction for men. To change her look without caring what her boyfriend thinks is basically a giant middle finger to your commitment to her. That's why you're angry about it, because you're angry at her for disrespecting you and angry at yourself for choosing poorly. Typically this is something that demonstrates low relationship value. You should probably be looking at other options while downgrading her to plate.

If you're looking to approach any kind of conversation about it... you're in for some fun because it's borderline impossible to address this sort of problem without appearing beta and controlling. She will lose further respect for you if you fail this massive shit test. I think the only way to pass this one is with a combination of amused mastery and some heavy "I'm disappointed in you" delivered outside the usual womanese. (Of course, that cannot be done if you haven't demonstrated a fluency in womanese to begin with. If you've always been doing straight talk then you can't flip to it in a manner that holds weight. - When you do that it's essentially to tell the chick, your social skills are poor... so poor that I'm forced to use straight talk with your dumb ass.)

Any conversation like this would have to begin with essentially laughing at her. "Why on earth did you dye your hair like that?" blah blah, stupid reason. "It looks so unbelievably awful." Laugh some more at her. Be very clear that it is the hair which looks awful rather than her generally or you'll end up in a whole different load of nonsense. She might leave it at that, in which case you're on to a winner because she's sticking with the womanese and not bothering to defend her stupidity. At which point, withdraw attention, add some light dread, absolutely no sex with her but don't tell her why. The hamster will spin and eventually land on "omg my smv has gone down. Better reverse this."

If you get the possible pushback to the initial conversation like "you're trying to control me" and stuff like that. Drop the laughter suddenly and just address her clearly with something along the lines of "I've little interest in how you behave in your daily life. However, I've invested in a relationship with you and you have supposedly invested in one with me. Mutual attraction is a key component of any relationship. The fact you seem to think my opinion of your appearance holds no value is bizarre. It's like you've never had a mutually respectful relationship before." Some sort of disappointed tone and look should accompany this small bit of straight talk. Make sure you get away after that. She's likely to go very defensive because you've literally just called her social skills/relationship skills low value. Deflect all defensiveness with something like "I'm not arguing with you over dumb little things. I've gotta go do X. I'll catch ya later." Similar post-chat stuff of withdrawing attention, light dread when you do give attention and no sex for a couple of weeks.

Again, that should leave just enough for the hamster without falling into beta trying to control her territory. She'll probably try to defend herself by phone to you. Ignore the texts for good few hours and respond with "Ok" or "k" or whatever curt I-don't-care-what-you're-saying-here response seems to fit for you. This could work... but honestly I don't think it's worth the effort. It's easier and less emotionally taxing to just bed a new chick.

anonimo42 · 2020-03-23T15:41:04+00:00

Don't like it? Dump her bro

marleyyyoolol · 2020-03-23T17:02:47+00:00

Its just hair at the end of the day if its a ltr i dont think you should continue if something like this bothers you

life036 · 2020-03-24T04:51:10+00:00

lol relax, it's not automatically some feminist statement. It's just as easily she's an anime / weeb / fashion nerd and she thinks it's hot as fuck, and she thought you would too.

rentaljeep · 2020-03-23T16:21:14+00:00

Honestly she can do whatever the fuck she wants. If it bothers you that much then talk to her about it

theUnBannableHulk · 2020-03-23T16:00:22+00:00

She doesn’t respect you

If you haven’t told her you dislike it tell her now and don’t apologize or explain yourself

Be cold

If she isn’t affected by your displeasure she doesn’t respect you

Your inner game is weak and you’re not masculine enough

Demote her to plate and work on yourself

ENFORCE YOUR STANDARDS

Whitefarmer · 2020-03-23T16:12:34+00:00

She should know if she did such a thing you would mock her relentlessly

Don’t get mad

Gawernator · 2020-03-23T16:57:32+00:00

Have you guys discussed hair colors before? If not, she might have thought you would like it or something. How old are you both as well? Unnatural hair girls are usually messed up in the head / daddy issues etc but if she dyes it back then ok. If she’s doing it because she thought all the tiktok girls are in fashion and you’re only 16 then it makes more sense.

Whitefarmer · 2020-03-23T16:18:17+00:00

Don’t you mock women in public with your LTR when they have coloured hair?

marcus8crassus · 2020-03-23T15:47:18+00:00

[deleted]

11-Eleven-11 · 2020-03-23T19:01:17+00:00

I'm definetely in the minority here but if it looks good I'd be cool with it. I kind of like it when girls dye their hair red or pink granted she's not a total feminist cunt.

I also knew of girl who dyed her hair orange. Fuck that. It looked like shit.

RobbyHagan · 2020-03-23T20:06:10+00:00

It's her hair, let her do whatever with it, but just don't lie to her about it and pretend to like it because it'll encourage her to keep it.

Don't be a dick either, like, "Eww, that's ugly as fuck."

But remind her that you prefer her natural hair color (or whatever color you prefer).

If she says she's keeping it and too bad, then you have some options. How bad do you hate it? Enough to leave? Then leave. Otherwise, you could try to get "caught" checking out girls that have the hair color you prefer. Like, if you like blondes, when you're out with your girl, check out the blondes that walk by. If she says anything like, "Were you checking out that girl?" Just say, "Yes, I was staring at her hair. Since you don't want to be blonde anymore I have to get my fill from these mall rats." Or something like that.

Overall, this seems like a silly thing to be this upset over, but it is what it is so here's some options

zboo1h · 2020-03-23T23:09:58+00:00

You misspelled "ex ltr".

nexther · 2020-03-24T01:46:29+00:00

Honesty is the most important part of an LTR. Tell her flat out “I don’t like your hair like that.” Watch what she does. If she dyes it back to her original colour, then let’s it fully return, then you’re okay. But if she ignores your preferences then hard next her.

dasani7 · 2020-03-24T04:09:32+00:00

For everyone saying dump I have a question, let's say she dyed her hair purple but he thought she looked sexy....she still sis it without discussing. She he dump her? What if she dyed it black and he didn't like it? Black isn't extreme but it's still a major change. If he liked the pink color should he dump still because she didn't discuss or is it ok because he likes it but still didn't discuss?

2020-03-24T05:14:38+00:00

Permission? lol Anyway, If it was reversed and she said to you that she didn't like your new hair, how might you feel? I get it, it's a shock, and I might well feel the same. But, "your hair is your own affair" comes to mind. I'd think that you're the best one for judging your own emotions so, do you think that you are over reacting? Peace.

zino193 · 2020-03-24T07:52:40+00:00

> he didn’t even ask or talk to me about it, just did it randomly.

She does not have to talk to you about changing her hair color, wtf?

> Why would she do that?

Maybe she felt the need for a change.

> And where do I go from here?

Tell her you hate it.

chazthundergut · 2020-03-23T19:42:03+00:00

Lol is this for real? Your GF dyed her hair and it makes you angry?

rad_dynamic · 2020-03-23T19:20:56+00:00

Don't worry man.

I'm living with a previously super reserved flatmate, and ever since the quarantine she's been putting on crazy eye shadow colours.

I think these girls are just bored.

The way you win here is by not giving it any attention.

Act as if her hair is as it always was.

Culture is changing cuz of the quarantine, people's real shells are coming off. Don't get angry, or controlling, stay stoic brother.

__TheDon__ · 2020-03-23T16:13:35+00:00

She doesn’t respect/value you enough to think your opinion means something, hence why she did it without batting an eye.

Demote to plate, or dump her.

omega05 · 2020-03-23T15:38:56+00:00

Does she need your permission to dye her own hair? be serious man

2020-03-23T17:47:26+00:00

There is so little info here, besides for your anger over the mundane. I hope this bitch dumps your ass after you waste your chance at role play with your new pink haired girlfriend. Dumb fuck Jesus christ. Hair grows back bitch, emphasis on the bitch part because she didn't even think to consider your opinion XD I can tell your such a little fuck XD

yettymonkey · 2020-03-23T15:59:37+00:00

Get the fuck over yourself. Your frame is obviously weak if pink hair causes you to break lol. She is going for more attention which is also obvious and my bet its outside attention. Reflect and mediate on the last few months. Think back to past convos/outings and I bet you will see a trend and from there you will realize that YOUR TURN with her is OVER. Start distancing yourself/improve you situation so that your frame is made of IRON and not wood. Time to upgrade your life which in turn will result in an upgraded plate/LTR/etc...

silly_old_sideben · 2020-03-23T17:55:36+00:00

Ask her why lol. Who’s she exited to show it off to? Where’s she excited to wear it? Does she act more confident around you with it?

Could be just some image issues in her own head.

You are right to feel some type of way because she didn’t even ask what YOU would think about it. If she has mentioned it in the past and you were like “yeah I wouldn’t mind” is a bit different.

The only way to sort these things out is nuance. Pay close attention to her and how she’s responding and reacting. If she’s an LTR you should have a good gauge of her patterns to gauge how “off” this really is for her.

2020-03-23T16:05:55+00:00

Damn if I was you I’d dump her on the spot. Don’t let anyone disrespect you like that

strainer123 · 2020-03-23T17:02:44+00:00

Why do you care so much, if you feel angry hatefuck her, its great to grudgefuck, deepdick that pink haired dummy.

JustArtist8 · 2020-03-23T19:41:33+00:00

Massive red flag

GloomySpeech · 2020-03-23T19:56:52+00:00

L E A V E

She doesn't respects you. She doesn't care about you. She is trying to get attention, so she is looking for a replacement.

okay616 · 2020-03-23T20:24:27+00:00

At least she picked a feminine color 😬

006rbc · 2020-03-23T22:36:15+00:00

Eject

Ivabighairy1 · 2020-03-23T22:46:12+00:00

To me, it’s Peacocking. My experience with the changing hair colors is that she is looking for attention. Your branch is the launching point.

dadfrombrad · 2020-03-24T00:52:50+00:00

Tell her to die it back or you’ll dump her

cyyr · 2020-03-24T03:21:43+00:00

Why r women all dumb

griz3lda · 2020-03-24T06:17:09+00:00

There are 3 cases.

She was not aware you would prefer to have been consulted and thinks you don't care. (second most likely imo)
She is misguidedly trying to impress you with novelty / hoping you will like it. (most likely imo)
She is aware you would prefer to have been consulted but doesn't care. (least likely imo unless she has a history of intentionally provocative behavior / has BPD; most women would not purposely make themselves look ugly to others, esp their partner, bc they don't have the freestanding self-esteem to do so)

Take care to determine which case you are in before acting.

WayThrownAway3 · 2020-03-24T08:09:35+00:00

Tell her you hate it, proceed to make her choke on your dick for at least an hour, hatefuck her, nut quick, and bust all over that nasty azz hair. Proceed to withdraw attention, create dread until she's wondering wtf is going on, changes the color or you demote her slowly to plate by continuing to withdraw attention. She's sure to dye it back, or not... Then she makes shit easier for you. Go bang other chicks.

RStonePT · 2020-03-23T17:20:49+00:00

Either you hate it enough to do something about it or you need to learn to get over it.

All you have is attention, affection, and commitment. Pull them commensurate with your boundaries man.

DF-RP · 2020-03-23T17:34:58+00:00

Girls know hairstyles matter a lot to how attractive they are. They spend hours and hours thinking about changing them. If they are into a guy, particularly if it's a sexual relationship, they tend to consult the guy if he likes idea X or Y.

Your girl didn't care about your opinion, or assumed you'd like her decision. Either way, there's either a big disconnect or more than likely, she doesn't really care to please you with appearances. That's getting into breakup territory.

If you want to recover this, you should make your stand now and be firm about it. Either she changes behavior or you are more than likely done. That, or you get to bend over backwards in everything from now on.

taroorat · 2020-03-23T17:59:46+00:00

Stay away

Hungboy6969420 · 2020-03-23T18:31:57+00:00

Weirdly colored hair is often like short hair on a woman. Maybe 1 out of 100 pull it off, the rest look stupid imo

bearbludaddy · 2020-03-23T17:31:32+00:00

Context of your clear set frame and boundaries are what's important. Every guy is different in his frame.

Is this something she knew you'd not like? Something she knew she should have gotten permission?

If so, then it's an atomic shittest and you push the fuck back or next.

If not, let it go.

momomotorboat · 2020-03-23T17:32:21+00:00

We need more info here. Ages, length of LTR, does she know your preferences.

I assume she hasn't dyed her hair in the time that you've known her?

northwest_iron · 2020-03-23T17:39:35+00:00

In some psychology personality typings there's categories such as "need for uniqueness" or "need to be special."

My experience with off color hair girls and those sporting more than one tattoo is they will tend to score very high in these areas, while often exhibiting lower impulse control.

As another user stated, it's the intent that will be the most insightful. Is it a trend, is it idolizing.

Also, consider the role of impulse control and "need for uniqueness" as it relates to your own, is this an area of life where you are compatible or where there will be frequent friction.

DrJamming · 2020-03-23T18:01:00+00:00

Let's be honest:

a) she fat.

OR

b) she's got short hair.

OR

c) she's fat and has short hair.

If a girl is hot, then doesn't matter what her hair color is, you'd still tap that. So in short - she's not hot, you're just coping with "what live gave you" and any deviation from her "accepted looks" causes you to go bonkers, because she's already a major compromise for you, and not the wild girl of your dreams.

Jacked5parrow · 2020-03-23T22:26:17+00:00

Just tell her that you don’t like it and she’s an extension of you.

If she doesn’t comply, begin to soft next

LeEbinConchShell · 2020-03-23T16:21:30+00:00

she's about to smash some lil peep goth chad, demote to plate or ghost lololol

Phontomz · 2020-03-23T17:19:29+00:00

Cucked

Bone_Coat · 2020-03-23T17:22:16+00:00

as far as I know, if it's not a color that is masculine (purple,blue or green) you are safe

Title	My ltr randomly dyed her hair pink and I hate it
Author	SonnyFFC
Upvotes	106
Comments	130
Date	March 23, 2020 3:34 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/fnlwz9/my_ltr_randomly_dyed_her_hair_pink_and_i_hate_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/my-ltr-randomly-dyed-her-hair-pink-and-i-hate-it.357442 https://theredarchive.com/post/357442

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