What makes some women lose attraction to their hubbies?

BioStu · 2020-04-17T23:23:49+00:00

Marriage isn't an end goal, it's a whole job of it's own. In order for it to work both parties need to continue to make effort, flirt with each other, try to be attractive to one another.

The death of most marriages is complacency and low effort.

NarniaFox · 2020-04-18T01:15:22+00:00

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Lacuna-Foil · 2020-04-18T01:26:04+00:00

From what I understand, in the majority (not vast, simple majority) cases, the woman started feeling like the mom in the relationship, and that will kill attraction faster than anything.

I know it's personally true for me, which is why I don't really bother with dating anymore and have no interest in getting married. I don't mind sharing the emotional load, but I have 0% interest in being in a relationship where I feel like I'm a housekeeper who has sex with the dude who hired her. No thanks.

teibe · 2020-04-18T00:25:30+00:00

Having been in this situation before, its either too many expectations surrounding sex, too much pressure to have sex, or a total loss of respect.

Illustrious_Drive · 2020-04-17T22:49:29+00:00

It’s more likely that the husband stopped chasing after the woman and acting in an attractive manner.

He started to let her make all the decisions, do all the housework, have all the opinions etc.

But really, it depends on the woman.

I for one, would never worry about losing attraction to my partner because I don’t WANT to lose attraction for my partner. I’d tell him what was going on that made us lose that spark, I’d try to jump start that spark myself.

I don’t WANT to ever lose attraction to him.

death_by_1000_cats · 2020-04-18T00:34:13+00:00

[deleted]

BruhMoment45886 · 2020-04-17T23:52:25+00:00

[deleted]

NarniaFox · 2020-04-18T01:31:33+00:00

If we take into account only somewhat healthy relationships, without massive problems, I'd say two of the main reasons are that a husband stops caring or actually hearing his wife.

The first one means that he stops being romantic and he lets himself go. It's okay, but it can lead to losing romantic/sexual interest and you start seeing each other like friends. But marriage isn't only about friendship.

The second one is about cases, when there are some problems, but nobody does anything to solve them or most likely one partner is trying, but the other is ignoring, isn't listening or just outright sabotaging it. One can get really irritated and resentful over it pretty quickly and it can lead to divorce too.

learn2earn89 · 2020-04-18T01:34:16+00:00

I know a woman that left her husband recently. From what I was told (by her brother) was that her husband didn’t really talk much with her, he wasn’t affectionate, and wasn’t as involved as he could have been with the kids. She left him for an “ugly fat dude” (these were the words of her brother—my bffs husband) It just so happens that this fat dude was super romantic, bought her flowers, and was “funny.” The fat dude also left his long term girlfriend for her.

2020-04-18T07:10:53+00:00

Neediness, clinginess. Inability to manage day to day life. Lack of motivation and goals, needing to be mothered and poor hygiene. Looks a mess.

mimikyoou · 2020-04-17T23:12:36+00:00

Like many men claim women do, sometimes men will become very different people post-marriage, personality wise. They wait until they have "trapped" someone to let the cruel part of them show.

Otherwise, it may be physical, like the men "lets himself go" but she does not. Or sometimes it just happens.

robot3000_01 · 2020-04-17T23:46:53+00:00

Women are serial monogamous, so even if they were attracted, it dies off after about 2years. For men it settles to a higher baseline IIRC

nevomintoarce · 2020-04-18T07:02:09+00:00

Usage of the word hubby.

Orange_Paisley · 2020-04-18T15:33:39+00:00

Resentment and/or contempt.

Troy016 · 2020-04-17T23:00:05+00:00

[deleted]

keepcalmandhydrate · 2020-04-18T00:03:24+00:00

1.) She watched too much HGTV, then decided to marry a fixer-upper.

Yeah, I know, I couldn’t help myself. Some women will meet a guy who has some of the traits they’re looking for but not all. The plan is that she’ll be able to convince him to change what she doesn’t like, but that rarely ever happens. Eventually she’ll get tired of looking across the dinner table at the physical manifestation of her failed plan and decide to leave him for someone who doesn’t have that trait. Most of the time the new guy is missing something else she wanted, so the whole vicious cycle starts again.

2.) She goes through a big life event and feels like her value has risen past their husband’s.

3.) Communication gaps that lead to resentment.

4.) Someone lets themselves go to shit.

5.) Someone does something that she regrets after the fact.

6.) A million other reasons because each person is different.

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-04-17T22:42:14+00:00

[removed]

obvi_imnicklachey · 2020-04-17T23:25:09+00:00

As said by a woman on PPD:

“Who women pair up with permanently and who they find the most attractive are two different things”

https://imgur.com/i0syX7G

The men they marry in their 30s are men that they rejected, or would have rejected when they were in their 20s. They marry these less attractive men in their 30s for financial and stability reasons.

Tell your friend to get the fuck out of dodge

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flamingoinghome · 2020-04-18T16:08:29+00:00

So, this is an Extremely Unpopular Opinion, but....

I think, quite often, it's not "losing attraction" so much as oversaturation for their particular libido.

Say your favorite food is pizza. You have pizza 2-3 times a week, and you always look forward to it, and it's the highlight of your day when you grab that first cheesy slice.

Then you get a roommate whose favorite food is ALSO pizza. They trained in Italy as a pizza chef! Awesome, right? And better still, they're going to do most of the cooking!

But then you realize that EVERY time they cook, it's pizza. So you go from pizza a couple times a week, to a mostly-pizza diet. And even though pizza is your favorite food, this....is a lot of pizza. And they start putting on weird toppings you don't even like sometimes. And after a while, you don't even want to THINK about pizza ever again, even though it is/was your favorite food. And if you broke your lease, and left your roommate, after a breather, you'd probably eventually go back to liking pizza 2-3 times a week, as you always had.

See the issue?

InfidelCastro11 · 2020-04-17T23:49:07+00:00

They get bored and leave. Tingles > loyalty

2020-04-17T23:10:56+00:00

Tell your "friend" the answer is all of the above and don't get married.

obvi_imnicklachey · 2020-04-17T23:33:53+00:00

1) some women never had attraction for their husband, they were just desperate to get married

2) men haven’t evolved. Women have (somewhat), government has (somewhat), men mostly haven’t (not a lot of incentive to, maybe?). The point is, most men simply aren’t the partners needed by most women today.

Framed_Previz90 · 2020-04-17T23:21:33+00:00

Who the hell cares. I'll just never find myself in such situation. It nearly destroyed my uncle uncle

king_of_red_alphas · 2020-04-18T10:26:51+00:00

Men that use the word “hubbies”

richlad · 2020-04-18T11:23:11+00:00

Here is what makes a woman lose attraction

Man himself becomes complacent and is unable to flirt with chicks or acquire new one on his arm in a party
Man sells off his expensive car and settles for the average one
Man dreams of having a homestead in some rural area generating his own wind power and hydro electricity and woman doesn't want to lose her metropolitan friend fancy circle of braggers and party sluts
Man starts liking staying at home and no longer going with her vacation and taking her for a ride in his expensive car and serving as a butler in front of her friends.

But the tick is you don't have to do any of them not make her lose attraction:

Only thing you've to do is run her high and burn her out then repeat.

Always give her emotional highs which they get from rough sex, being slapped and being thrown around. Then come like a daddy who realized he punished his young one way too hard, and comfort her.

Rise and repeat and wife will never leave you.

Title	What makes some women lose attraction to their hubbies?
Author	BruhMoment45886
Upvotes	2
Comments	163
Date	April 17, 2020 9:43 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/g3b6q7/what_makes_some_women_lose_attraction_to_their/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-makes-some-women-lose-attraction-to-their.654147 https://theredarchive.com/post/654147

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