How much would sexlessness rise if women really started having for their own pleasure? Should women be pressured into having sex when they don't want to?

Nodoxxintoxin · 2020-04-19T14:03:57+00:00

Should women be pressured into having sex when they don’t want to? That’s a loaded question.

Should women be aware of their partners needs where there is a gap in libido? Absolutely.

SeemedGood · 2020-04-19T16:41:48+00:00

not for their pleasure, but to please their partner or because they're too agreeable to say no.

Or, realistically, they would rather have the sex than lose the utility they get from a man who is sexually satisfied.

That is not “being pressured into sex.” Rather, that is a woman expressing her own order of preferences. She would rather have the utility of a sexually satisfied man than not have sex at that moment.

Being pressured into sex is when someone explicitly forcefully coerces another person into having sexual interaction either physically or non-physically (aka extortion and/or the psychological manipulation of a child).

Given the seriousness of such acts, conflating a woman choosing to have sex in order to maintain some other utility that she desires in a relationship with explicit forceful coercion is both irresponsible and extremely disrespectful to those men, women, and children who have actually been victims of coercion.

That’s shameful.

petrichordium · 2020-04-19T13:09:40+00:00

Honestly the marriage market would completely fall apart except for UMC beaver builder types who compensate via their soul lack or their hotel hookers/salsa dance instructors. Chaos and confusion and depravity everywhere. Maintenance sex is one of the most central and under acknowledged human practices on earth. Avoiding it won’t get your post-male utopia but rather the opposite.

Women shouldn’t be PRESSURED into anything. But if they have half a brain they probably understand the value of maintenance sex for a partner they value. This form of sex is not exclusive with more mutually oriented or even femme centric sex forms. I welcome women to pursue those in greater forms as their freedom allows. The central thing is don’t expect one jot of either romantic or financial enthusiasm out of a man you’re not fucking. The modern sex positive libfem paradigm actively supports this attitude.

Honestly i shit test the hell out of my girlfriends for their natural erotic responses and take detailed internal notes. It’s perfectly fine if they want to engage in sex purely according to the reins of their ego with no consideration of what is important to me or what i value. It has never gone well for people who do that but I’m still here doing my thing.

throaway2s1fsfsf4 · 2020-04-19T13:20:24+00:00

Could be wrong on this, but as far as I can tell people do things they don't want to do all the time in a relationship just to please their partner. It just happens that men have on average a much higher libido than women so women are usually the one having sex just for the sake of their partner. If they stopped doing that, then there would simply be more sexless relationships (which can end up in a divorce / break up / cheating).

TheJim66 · 2020-04-19T13:04:38+00:00

Then all women would be forever-plates.

beyond_relevant · 2020-04-19T12:51:05+00:00

Based on my personal observations and experiences, women often have sex, not for their pleasure, but to please their partner or because they're too agreeable to say no.

Men have 10-20 times the testosterone women do. Meaning if women increased their testosterone twice the difference in ratio would fall to 5-10 times.

Testosterone increases sexual urges in both men and women.

Im just saying that there is a way for women to increase their urges so they wont have to pretend anymore, and who knows, you just may blow up your own head with the next orgasm now.

2020-04-19T14:52:26+00:00

It would be better for everyone because then the men could just cut bait quicker and move onto next warm wet hole.

Pity or agreeability sex gives men the false sense of sexual access when the real way to go is novelty, both because novelty will make the guy want to try harder and because it makes the woman more eager to please.

2020-04-19T16:59:56+00:00

Should women be pressured into having sex when they don't want to?

NO.

that is the only valid answer to that question.

TheOGJammies · 2020-04-19T14:09:14+00:00

They would have to make greater efforts to be fuckable on a society wide level if we stopped giving them pity sex or being coerced into it. The sooner women stop doing this, the better.

(lets leave prostitutes, sex workers out of the discussion as they're a completely different issue)

Demand for sex workers would probably explode and increase in Trafficking because men really don’t care if they’re forcing women into sex they don’t want.

MirrorThaoss · 2020-04-19T12:58:55+00:00

If women only had sex when they are horny or really want it, the amount of sex would certainly drop in a noticeable way. Especially in long term relationship that were full of duty sex.

Also, do you think women in relationships/marriages should have sex when they don't want to just to "Save their marriage" or whatever?

I don't think that they should have sex they don't want, as much as I don't think men should invite their wives to restaurants they don't like or offer their wives things they don't want to offer.

But I totally think that you are shitty partner if you let your partner in a state of unhappiness or frustration for a long mount of time.

If you know that your husband loves sex that much, normally you would want to make him happy at least sometimes. And of course he should do his best for the sex to be enjoyable for you too.

Speaker7 · 2020-04-19T13:26:23+00:00

I was too agreeable and had trouble saying no when my ex-boyfriends tried to pressure me into sex.

That is a shitty experience. It's not uncommon for men as well. There is a dynamic where women use sex as a tool to control their environment and not for the pleasurable experience I believe it should be. They are complicit in their own unhappiness. If you believe yourself to be such a person you must agree it's not sustainable to be a tool of control and mutually loved experience.

If women completely took control of their sexuality and started having sex for their pleasure only

Everyone should be masters of their own sexuality, and non-pleasurable sex should never happen imo. But for many sex is for sharing pleasure with another person, if you want total self indulgence there are solo activities that don't loop another person into it.

how much would sexlessness rise?

It's already rising. Women have been telling men how little they matter since the beginning of time, through their thoughts, words, and actions. Every man can attest to this. Japan is the canary in the coal mine for the world. Yes the world will keep on turning but one where the sexes are not happily fucking each other towards heaven may as well be hell.

InfidelCastro11 · 2020-04-19T12:54:20+00:00

Marriage/LTRs would end up sexless sooner. That's about it. I don't think women are often pressured into sex in most relationships, I think they just use it to get what they want

Barely-moral · 2020-04-19T13:50:21+00:00

If women completely took control of their sexuality and started having sex for their pleasure only, how much would sexlessness rise?

A lot.

Should women be pressured into having sex when they don't want to?

As long as such pressure is not illegal that is not a question of shoulds. I think women should not be forced. But pressure is something that I can't find myself willing to regulate.

Also, do you think women in relationships/marriages should have sex when they don't want to just to "Save their marriage" or whatever?

When you enter into a monogamous relationship you are telling the following to your partner.

"I am the only outlet for your sexual needs. If you are in a relationship with me the only way you have sex is with me and when I allow it"

So I think anyone, men or woman is taking the responsability to satisfy their partner sexually during the relationship if they don't allow their partner to pursue other people as sexual partners.

I am not saying they should have sex when they don't want to but I am saying that entering into a monogamous relationship and not caring about your partner's sexual satisfaction si not a nice thing to do and not a thing anyone who cares about their partner would do willingly.

AbyssinianLion · 2020-04-19T14:36:52+00:00

I think porn will be the primary sexual outlet of most average looking men then. Polygyny will be a thing among women who would want to share the minority of men who are attractive enough and have God tier sex abilities , and resentful sexless men will be an even more powerful force in politics.

12112019 · 2020-04-19T15:07:33+00:00

By a lot, I wish all women would only do that so that the men won't get honey trapped in a marriage under false pretenses.

Awokeeleven · 2020-04-19T15:26:50+00:00

Sure have sex for your own pleasure only but then you should be fine with your partner have multiple plates/gfs/wives and commit to him anyway

TomahawkSuppository · 2020-04-19T16:16:12+00:00

No one should be pressured into sex.

Mimoxs · 2020-04-19T17:34:27+00:00

It would rise enough that we'd see rape a lot more often. I think men really cannot comprehend how often women have sex for any other reason than enjoyment, nor how much women fake it.

rubbooyuri · 2020-04-19T18:05:45+00:00

I think sex is part of a marriage/relationship, so yes, have sex as a duty as much as you feel is reasonable. Then your partner can decide whether to be with you. Just don’t lie and build up resentment; if he sucks, don’t pretend otherwise. Advocate for what you want, and it’s on him whether to care.

It’s also up to every couple to decide what their acceptable situation is. Sorry folks, you’re going to have to put in some consideration, communication and thinking, ya lazies!

mashakos · 2020-04-19T19:19:07+00:00

Based on my personal observations and experiences, women often have sex, not for their pleasure, but to please their partner or because they're too agreeable to say no.

I deliberately avoid women of this type. Thankfully more women are less afraid of speaking up about their own needs today.

meeselbon573 · 2020-04-19T20:00:19+00:00

If a woman is happy being frigid, she should disclose that fact right at the beginning of any relationship. A man who commits to her has made his (cold, unwelcoming) bed.

flamingoinghome · 2020-04-19T21:27:36+00:00

I don't know about "sexlessness" per se, but I do think that a lot of men, especially on the hookup scene, would get unnerved at what "sex" looked like.

2020-04-19T23:25:00+00:00

I was like that until I realised there was actually men out there that fucked like champs. Until I was in my early 20s most men had two modes. Fumbling fred and the jack rabbit.

Now I want sex, I want it all the time. Fancy that?

mistresswhat · 2020-04-20T00:04:28+00:00

Men would get better at sex real fast.

Ecocavalry · 2020-04-19T13:45:34+00:00

Things will stay the same. If you are not fucking your bf/husbando, some other desperate women will. Women not fucking will get priced out of the market. Awareness of dead bedrooms among men has increased because men are now talking to each other. More and more men are now leaving dead bedrooms and their LL wives.

If you move away from the equilibrium point, there will be consequences(positive or negative). Equilibriums also tend to shift with new generations and social norms.

Given the way things have been going for the past 50 years, I would say the direction has been benefiting men a lot. Men are having more sex and less responsibility.

Ssimpthrrroway · 2020-04-19T13:32:36+00:00

I think it would make a huge difference.

Can you explain?

NarniaFox · 2020-04-19T15:11:26+00:00

People would definitely have less sex.

I think there are several reasons why a woman agrees to have sex, when she isn't in the mood:

Partner doesn't have no for an answer. It's coercing and it can happen in several ways. Just nagging, taking off her clothes, reacting harshly to a no etc.
They know that they often get in the mood in the process.
They have low libido and they want to satisfy their partner with higher one.

So the first one is never okay, while second and third are somewhat okay. I have some questions to the third one, I think both partners should compromise and make it working for them, not just a woman letting her boyfriend/husband fuck her as much as he wish. Also, it can easily turn out sex into a chore and a low libido partner will have even less desire to have sex. So I guess it can be pretty tricky.

wekacuck · 2020-04-19T15:14:59+00:00

Agreeing to have sex for whatever reason is fine (as long as it's not co-oerced*)--I'm not the thoughtpolice and I'm out of the business of bothering trying to think on a woman behalf (I'm not any adult woman's keeper). It doesn't follow thar the ensuing act of sex should be unenjoyable for her, though. My view is that if having sex with me actively sucks, then I've fucked up. I think generally men would be very happy with women who are more communicative about how to improve sex. Some women make ooodles of excuses why the won't give any feedback so at that point it's whatever.

*my view of coercion is fairly narrow and specific but boils down to: if there are no negative consequences for refusing to have sex, and she knows there are no negative consequences to refusing to have sex and then chooses to have sex -- it's not coerced.

ElGupo1978 · 2020-04-19T16:05:48+00:00

That is precisely what is going on. What you have stated is exactly what is happening today.

Or I might be confused the whole phenomenon of the red pill was prompted by the observable fact that women were not pursuing marriage and family but rather just riding the cock carousel and only settling for steady provider type guys once they burn out and hit the wall. I’m not saying that’s true but that is the red pill narrative.

In the past socially enforced monogamy meant most guys could get a girl friend , now that promiscuity is less frowned upon we have a hook up culture and the average guy flounders while the top tear men reap the rewards of women’s sexual liberation.

This is the reason all these guys have suddenly become prudes because they’ve been left out. Women are following the Sandberg protocol. Or at Least that’s the common wisdom of PPD.

Severe-Peach · 2020-04-19T17:07:40+00:00

"Also, do you think women in relationships/marriages should have sex when they don't want to just to "Save their marriage" or whatever?"

usually yes, unless there is some kind of medical issue. the benefits usually outweigh the costs

moodyblues89 · 2020-04-20T04:26:51+00:00

Why not just talk to your partner about sexually satisfying you? This is just lazy. You making this sound like a it can be a big thing. This is a issue. I would hate it if a woman I’m sleeping with is only doing it like it’s a chore. But It wouldn’t be 100% my fault because she’s doesn’t want to tell me her needs. We’re not mind readers we don’t know what you want.

zino193 · 2020-04-20T06:43:26+00:00

I think women derive pleasure from intimacy only.

I think this is already happening in nordic countries as it does in slavic countries.

Only women in the chaotic Americanized dating culture chase the orgasm. Or have a more male dating strategy. In Europe that seems a bit silly. Women understand they have different needs and get other things they find pleasurable. Ironically, this means relationships tend do be more monogamous, more long term, intimate.

MuleFool42 · 2020-04-20T17:43:22+00:00

I don't think that women should have sex more often than they want to but they should take into account their partner's sexual needs and if their partner needs sex more often than they're willing to commit to, it's probably better to end the relationship.

Sexual comparability in relationships goes a long way, and if one person is going to freeze out the other then resentment is inevitable. So if you have a lower sex drive, it's better to tell prospective partners about that up front so that they can make an informed choice about whether or not to continue the relationship.

RottenRobyn · 2020-04-22T20:54:35+00:00

“Pressuring women into having sex when they don’t want to” sounds almost like rape. However, women should have respect for their partner’s libidos, just as their partners should have respect for theirs. Wishing for sexual respect from women is one thing, but actively pushing them into intercourse against their will is another.

Detective_Unlikely · 2020-08-03T07:58:57+00:00

The human speciess would go exctinct.
I 100% believe that.

wtknight · 2020-04-19T16:22:05+00:00

Among men it would rise a lot. Among women it would rise some, as many women don't want to be Chad's plate, but also don't want to be with some average guy either. Some women don't mind being plated, though.

In the past more men tried to work to be desirable to women so that they could find a woman who actually wanted to have sex with him. Now, with all of the video games and free online porn, many men's motivation to do this has lessened.

Title	How much would sexlessness rise if women really started having for their own pleasure? Should women be pressured into having sex when they don't want to?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	16
Comments	179
Date	April 19, 2020 12:39 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/g470m1/how_much_would_sexlessness_rise_if_women_really/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-much-would-sexlessness-rise-if-women-really.654268 https://theredarchive.com/post/654268

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