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[–]dzgataFDS Apprentice273 points274 points275 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Don’t send at all ever not even to your husband. Especially not with your face or identifiers like tattoos, moles, birthmarks, scars etc.
[–]greenappletwFDS Apprentice68 points69 points70 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I've heard of situations where ex husbands try to use pictures and videos to blackmail the wife into staying with him.
Not just that, what if either of your phones get stolen or hacked? Why take the risk? Why would a good husband ever want you to take that risk?
[–][deleted] 64 points65 points66 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I was kinda naive a while ago...and I sent a few nudes (yes, with my face, ugh) to a guy I was involved with (this was before I found FDS). It eventually ended due to other reasons and he told me he deleted my nudes since we aren't together anymore. I kinda wanna trust him cuz he never gave me any reason not to, and he was always the honest one, but my anxious side is making up extreme scenarios in my head. I will, obviously, never send a nude again, but- how can I stop feeling so guilty and stupid everytime? Any ideas?
[–][deleted] 52 points53 points54 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You can use reverse image search and see if he leaked your nudes on the internet. If you don't find anything, forget about it. :)
[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I actually deleted my nudes because it's not a great idea to keep them in your phone either.
[–]BovvsetteFDS Disciple22 points23 points24 points 3 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
What's done is done and you only have one life, so no use worrying about things you have no control over anymore. You've learned your lesson, move on. If he ever tries to ruin your life by blackmailing you or sharing them, you can return the favor by suing him for revenge porn or copyright infringement (if you took the photos and he posted them without your consent). He will fall with you if he tries to drag you down, so it would be in his best interest to actually delete them, because depending on the country it could be taken very seriously (for example France) and he could suffer painful fines up to tens of thousands and few years of jail time. He will be the one undateable and unhirable with his criminal record and having a reputation of being petty, untrustworthy and not honorable, responsible gentleman at all. Probably the only good thing to come out of hypersexualizing everything is that people generally care less and less about nudity, there are women who build empires after having their sex tapes out and celebrities who didn't let leaked nudes stop them. Your crime is flaunting your beautiful, healthy body after being coerced into it, his would be breaching laws of trust, privacy, boundaries. He would have to be extremely dumb or vicious to be willing to risk his own wellbeing, attractiveness and fortune just at the unsuccessful attempt to threaten yours.
[–]jeanneeebeanneeeFDS Apprentice8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This, SO MUCH. Men who hold nudes over a woman's head do so because they think women are too stupid/naive to call their bluff.
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hey, thank you for this. I never thought about the whole thing from this angle. That guy knows that I'm an outspoken feminist. He probably won't even think of leaking my nudes or blackmailing me.
[–]afrodeasyakFDS Newbie176 points177 points178 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Never send nudes, it's not worth it at all. Doesn't matter if your face is showing or not. I've always been a huge "no nudes" advocate in my friend's group and it made me realise who are the pickmeishas and who were level headed.
[–]BlackThummbFDS Newbie94 points95 points96 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Also just a reminder not to even take nude photos on your phone, even if you have no intention of sending them. Hackers are everywhere.
[–]Davina33FDS Newbie34 points35 points36 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Nope, never ever! I don't even take nudes of myself in the first place! I got dragged in the datingoverforty sub for saying just this the other day. I do not care though, it is asking for trouble.
[–]4lavender411 points12 points13 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The fact people that mature are dragging women for not sending naked pictures is really disturbing! I
[–]radical__daphneRuthless Strategist131 points132 points133 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
It has nothing to do with whether you trust the man. Men are liars and they get these photos not just to jerk off to, but so that they have power over the woman and they can manipulate and blackmail her if she tries to leave.
[–]nopuedeser818FDS Newbie51 points52 points53 points 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
This. But let's assume for a moment that the man is trustworthy. His phone can still get stolen or hacked. Or his computer or email can get stolen or hacked. It's just not worth the risk.
I'm an artist and sometimes study nudes in class or use photos to draw from. (Like what you see here: https://www.posespace.com/ )
If you want to pose for nudes, pose for artists. Don't pose for some individual person who may betray you or be careless with your photos and don't do poses that you'd be ashamed for the world to see. The people who posed for posespace don't feel any sort of shame (nor should they). Go work as an artist's model. At least you'll get paid and you can't get "blackmailed" for the poses you do.
Edit: Also artists are very respectful of our models and typically we're discreet. Most classes don't allow photography without the model's permission. Here's an idea: Pose for some artists and get photos of their drawings. Then the next time a guy asks for nudes, send him a copy of those drawings! LOL.
[–]TVsFrankismyDadFDS Newbie18 points19 points20 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
And so that they can use them for "masculinity points" - showing all the nudes they get to other guys lets those guys know how manly and studly they are. Never forget, masculinity is a treasured but limited resource and men are in constant competition for their share of it. Your tits are their currency - they buy status from other dudes.
[–]burnerbabeePickmeisha™️13 points14 points15 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This to me is the only reason I’ve ever needed. I was in a group where I saw different men sharing pictures of past hookups and gfs. Saying, “look at how hot she was! Gimme brownie points of masculinity!” No sense of the other person’s right to privacy. So forget it ladies!
[–]radical__daphneRuthless Strategist9 points10 points11 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Vile
[–]girludontbringhomeFDS Newbie53 points54 points55 points 3 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Whenever I see the don’t send nudes posts on here, I actually was curious what all of you thought about Snapchat. I know a lot of people who will send nudes back and forth through Snapchat that supposedly disappear in seconds, but how secure is that actually?
[–]dzgataFDS Apprentice75 points76 points77 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I also know a girl who sent nudes on Snapchat telling the guy not to save or screenshot and he said of course I won’t and proceeded to do exactly that. Also their servers have been hacked before.
[–]randomgirl34861FDS Newbie77 points78 points79 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Also, I know a girl (me) who still has her old phone, and uses it to physically record the screen of the new phone when she wants to save things 🙃
So you may think the guy didn’t screenshot or anything, but he could be doing what I do.
Ladies please don’t send anything to a man on Snapchat if you’re not okay with it getting out publicly.
[–]girludontbringhomeFDS Newbie45 points46 points47 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That makes sense. It is so easy to do as well. That’s it, the consensus is NO SNAPCHAT NUDES.
[–]WestAtmosphereFDS Newbie41 points42 points43 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's not safe at all, you can get apps that save images/videos without the person being notified. Also, as the others mentioned just using another device to record it.
Regardless there's nothing stoping someone from screenshooting directly on snapchat, and just lying to you when they said they wouldn't. There's nothing you can do about it! It's not safe. And not worth the risk. Majority of men will go against your wishes and screen record/snapshot, or if you send it willingly many use it as ammo later on. It's actually fucking disgusting, it's all about control.
If a guy asks for nudes, honestly I would be very cautious of him in general. In fact I'd say avoid dating him at all costs. Who knows what other girls nudes he keeps.
On another note, if I ever have children I will be lecturing both boy/girl doesn't matter on this topic. How wrong it is to pressure someone into this scenario, and how risky it is to send photos/videos. I have no problem bringing up my past stories of an ex threatening me with even NON NUDE photos lol.
[–]afrodeasyakFDS Newbie36 points37 points38 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Screenshots and also just because it expires after a few seconds doesn't mean it's not floating for eternity somewhere on the internet
[–]Buckley92FDS Newbie36 points37 points38 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I made a (non sexual but still mildly embarrassing) Snapchat video that I assumed would just disappear right away. It was saved (screen record) and shared. Fortunately it wasn’t a nude or anything, just a little embarrassing.
[–]YveisGreyFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I don’t think one should ever send nudes on any platform for any reason ever at all. Period. Point blank. Just don’t do it.
It’s not worth the risk. Also it’s pickmeisha behavior. It doesn’t make you look like someone with firm standards and self respect when you are putting yourself in such a vulnerable position for someone else’s sexual kicks. I just see it as something that makes a man lose respect for you, I don’t mean that in a shaming way but I’m being realistic. I don’t even know why a man is asking for nudes in the first place, that’s sus and big red flag. HVM don’t ask for nudes that needs to be a thing, from now on asking for nudes should be reprimanded men need to be trained to be better, we allow them to think things like this is normal to ask of a woman among the many other depraved nonsense they ask women to do.
[–]shellshocked8FDS Apprentice10 points11 points12 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Good answer, you are so right. If a man asks you for nudes he does not respect you, rest assured most men will share your nudes with their friends, it's just something they do and think is normal and they have no moral compass when it comes to this kind of stuff. If we as women don't expect more out of men and raise our standards, don't expect men to ever change. You can also think of it in reverse...have you ever respected a man that sent you a dick pic? LOL...no of course not! Do you think men think any different of women that send them nudes? Of course not!
[–]YveisGreyFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This! I never thought of it that way but so true. A man sending nudes is not respected by women at all. Ladies remember that truth.
[–]iDontHaveTime981 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’ve heard of guys taking pictures with a different device so you don’t see they screenshot it.
[–]Painterly_PrincessFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Just make sure to have a pic of him too, especially getting pegged or in a submissive pose 🤷♀️
[–]umbralgardenFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Haaaa this. My ex has my faceless nudes but I also have a photo of him sucking on a dildo, soooo...
[–]YveisGreyFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
😂
[–][deleted] 66 points67 points68 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I don't understand the craze about nudes. I admire boudoir and some beautiful erotic photographs taken by professionals, but it's still a personal thing and shouldn't be shared with any man you meet online. You should keep such pictures for yourself only.
You can look sexy without taking your clothes off. If a man doesn't have imagination, dumb such man... Let's have some secrets, ladies.
[–]jeanneeebeanneeeFDS Apprentice10 points11 points12 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Agreed. I've always been old-fashioned about the concept of nudes, and been called a prude for it. I don't give a fuck if it does make me a prude. I would never consider sending anyone a photo of any part of my nude body. For me it's really more about power. I would never give anyone that power over me.
[–][deleted] 20 points21 points22 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I will end it immediately if a guy wants nudes. Be more classy and don't ask me for nudes!
[–]YveisGreyFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly a man shouldn’t be asking, if he is asking that’s a problem!
[–]Harriett-FDS Newbie18 points19 points20 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Reminder before you send nudes: Never send them.
[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Apprentice17 points18 points19 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That this has to be pointed out marks these times as a dystopia for women. I mean, come on.
[–]eatchickpeasFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
men use nudes as a weapon, they share it with their friends and family then get upset if you were to do the same. if a man asks you for a nude you should ask for one as well
[+][deleted] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]YveisGreyFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
When I was a teen my friends bf had asked her for nudes she sent him a picture if her dogs hoohaa. I died! 😂
[–]YveisGreyFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Remember never send. Ever. Under any circumstances.
[–]RavenJaybelleFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fun fact. There is an app that bypasses snapchat's screenshot notification. So yes, he could be saving them with you having no idea.
My ex husband out of the blue became OBSESSED with wanting me to send him photos. Like, flat out harassing about it several times each week. It was during a period when I was desperately trying to save our marriage (a one sided effort), mostly for the sake of our young kids. So I finally relented and did it off and on for a couple of years.
Fast forward a bit. I found that app on his phone (I didn't even know that something like that existed before that day).... And found a flashdrive with hundreds of those pics he had saved without me having any idea he was doing it.
So yeah. Trust no one. You have no idea if they are being saved or what is being done with them. :(
[–]0kfornowFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Never send
[–]roxymoxi6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
My favorite is when they ask for nudes and i say no, i dont send out blackmail. It usually continues with:
Them- I promise I won't show anyone.
Me- i know you won't, because I'm not sending them to you.
Them- well if you aren't going to send me anything in don't think we can keep talking lol (the lol is always infuriating because they just don't care and I know it, but it's always such a bummer to realize)
Me- cool, I'm gonna block you, when I see you at the bar please don't bother saying hi, this isn't worth it.
[–]RadarFemefFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Beautifully done ✅
[–]fairywakesFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I needed this now more than ever.
[–]Sarah_FishcakesFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
All men are liars!
[–]REDfanradfemFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I read an article that explains that in the Netherlands some ‘loverboys’ uses your nude to get you trafficked / be a prostitute and let him keep the money you make. So please reminder this before sending nudes!!
[–]puppybite1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
The correct answer is always “no.”
It’s more about giving them that power. You cannot do it in a society that tears down your reputation and possibly even your livelihood with your sexuality.
Sure you might be a “cool girl” for a while. I have never Been happy about sending a compromising photo long term. Always regretted it.
There is nothing to gain in a society that bases a woman’s value on their purity and sexuality... and uses it to tear them down. punish, degrade, objectify humiliate.
Never give a man that power over you. Ask yourself honestly, what do YOU have to gain in this situation?
If a man truly cares about you. They would understand. How many men have blackmailed, humiliated, compromised women’s careers over their bodies? Men know this. They use it as a tool against you and never risk even a chance of this happening the second they change their attitude towards you.
[–]boiledgatorade_FDS Newbie[S] 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Whoops looks like my comment didn’t post with the main pic. It said: Moral of the story: DONT SEND !
[–]Peak_TreeFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This comment (the replies) is all you need to know about nudes:
https://np.reddit.com/r/BlackPeopleTwitter/comments/5kxh5z/my_snapchat_is_slick_rick/dbrk769/
[–]RadarFemefFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’ve never sent a naked pic and never will. I don’t think there’s anything shameful about it, but it’s just too risky. I will never trust another person with a photo like that and I’ll always know that if someone claims to have one of me it’s fake. Sad that even that had a risk
[–]livingup2020Throwaway Account0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My ex kept asking to take pics/ vids during sex. And I said let me film you first and take a few pics of you. And he went quite and never asked me again lol
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