I've gone on two dates with this guy since the start of the year, who seemed to be a HVM. he has been respectful, paid for dates, not pushy. We kissed on the second date but I did feel it was a bit of a clumsy kiss and unexpected but I rolled with it. We kissed several more times then he walked me to my car and we went our separate ways.
We were meant to meet for brunch a few days ago for a 3rd date, we had cinema tickets for after brunch...Unfortunately I got injured during my hobby/sport and I have a sprained ankle. No walking and basically stuck at home until it heals.
He was understanding and kind when I cancelled, been checking on me most days...but the day I cancelled he asked if I wanted to stay at his for the week until I feel better. He offered to look after me and didn't mind if I would be a demanding patient. After two dates I didn't think it would be appropriate, not to mention the obvious , I don't know this guy or where/how he lives yet. I was hobbling around so even if I was silly enough to say yes, there was no way I could get myself ready, pack my bags for a week and drive/Uber 45mins to his place.
He was fine when I said no but the last two nights he has offered again while chatting. The conversation has felt a bit awkward and focussed on that. I feel a little pressured. Last night he mentioned it again and I went silent for a few hours and ended up saying I have friends who came over with dinner and supplies so I'll be ok. He didn't reply and hasn't spoken to me today which is quite abnormal given communication has been good since the first date.
The honest truth is I've been struggling with my injury alone and ordering takeaways etc. I don't have friends or family nearby...but it's not a big enough deal for me to trouble friends to travel 2hrs to help me a little. I'm grown. I don't want to give him any impression of me being alone or without a support system. I've been targeted by predatory men before when vulnerable. Is it a red flag that he has been silent after I rejected his offer 3 times and now made it clear I have other support? Why are men like this though. It's taken him less than a month to unravel. He didn't seem like a predator but he's giving me some serious predator vibes right now.
Very glad I have read the Gift of Fear and did not say yes to his offer!! Who knows what could have happened to me.
Edit: I had to add his offer was for me to sleep in his spare room while he looks after me, though he made a "joke" that I could turn up to his house and find out he actually has a 1 bedroom flat. Urgh the signs man. The signs.
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