It's not just women or just men; no one loves unconditionally

TwentyX4 · 2020-08-02T17:28:41+00:00

I don't believe anybody loves unconditionally. I don't even believe we love children unconditionally.

What I will say is that there's a spectrum. On the far end of the spectrum is our biological children: people will go massively out of their way to love their own children. Kids can be downright terrible, and parents will still love them. I think there's a breaking-point, but it's difficult to reach that point. I think this love is driven largely by our genes - i.e. the desire to protect and help our genetic offspring. Even adopted children get a certain level of unmerited love, because they trigger some of the same brain-regions as biological children do.

Whether men or women love their partner more unconditionally than the other is probably debatable. Women can point out the higher divorce rates when women get sick with cancer. Although men could point out the high rates of divorce when men lose their jobs, especially for extended periods of time.

Obviously there's a big problem if someone's conditional love is easily broken. I wouldn't want to be constantly one-step away from losing someone's love simply because I had a bad week. There are lots of stressors in a long-term relationship. Nobody wants a partner who's going to walk away from a relationship too easily.

I think the whole "loves someone conditionally" or "loves them unconditionally" are stupid statements because they're absolute statements, and that doesn't reflect reality. It's like asking "are seatbelts going to prevent me from dying in a car accident?" The answer is: that question is phrased wrong. It's not a simple "yes" or "no". There are no guarantees - about anything in life.

SavingsStrength0 · 2020-08-02T19:52:23+00:00

I wouldn’t even want to date a guy who would love me unconditionally. Humans are flawed and being put on a pedestal isn’t always a good thing. Having boundaries in a relationship is a good thing. I wouldn’t want to say, kill a cat on purpose (I’m a huge animal lover to put it in context) and have my partner still want to be with me. Killing an animal is like a sin to me so if a dude still loved me after that it would make me question his standards. Like he obviously has none so it would say a lot about me that he chose to be with me after that. I would find it creepy. Men like that are questionable anyways lol

RedPill_is_a_cult · 2020-08-02T17:44:02+00:00

'Unconditional love' is an aspirational goal, in some ways meant to follow the example put forth by 'the divine' (whichever flavor of it one might follow).

Colloquially, when we talk about unconditional love, it's not about love completely free from conditions, but about healthy, reciprocal love that is deep, understanding and shows grace. Love that can be forgiving, love that is generous, love that spans time and survives when beauty fades and hard times come along.

Men and women both are capable of this.

relish5k · 2020-08-02T21:41:20+00:00

Relationships (at least between adults, not counting parent-child relationships) are like saving accounts. Every caring, loving, considerate deed you do for the other person adds up. Ideally it keeps on adding up over time. At some times, you need to make a withdrawal because you are acting cranky. Sometimes you may make a big withdrawal, but if there is enough saved up the relationship can withstand and rebuild.

But once you hit 0 you can't keep making withdrawals, that's when things are over. That's the condition. The same applies for romantic relationships, friendships and family relationships (at least between adults)

SaBahRub · 2020-08-02T16:25:53+00:00

Red pill just says this to virtue signal, and is one of the reasons people call them misogynists.

If they dropped these obviously false and bigoted statements, like calling women sociopathic children and men paragons of logic and virtue, people might take them more seriously, but alas.

The temptation to punch down is too much, I suppose

felinemasterrace · 2020-08-03T04:14:33+00:00

Only God, your parents and cats and dogs will love you unconditionally. If you're lucky you might get that from a best friend or a sibling too.

SOCCER_MOM_BRAWL · 2020-08-02T17:05:17+00:00

its selfish to expect unconditional love because everyone has needs.

foid4you · 2020-08-03T00:10:24+00:00

People who think they can get romantic love unconditionally is either delusional or have mental illness. There will always be conditions while being in a relationship, there are something that is called "deal breakers".

Mimoxs · 2020-08-02T16:22:29+00:00

Women are capable of unconditional love because they have maternal instinct, which is to love no matter what. They can apply this to all creatures.

Men do not have this instinct, hence why so many men do not love their children.

Women only cannot unconditionally love if they have some sort of mental issue, for men it's just not possible by their nature.

throwawaylazyjay · 2020-08-02T18:20:34+00:00

Well on the most atomic level there is only selfishness since people are hard wire to act in self preservation. But I think it's just like quantum physics where things on mikro level are not the same on macro level. We can illustrate this with a few examples. People give homeless peopel money because seeing them makes people well off miserable and giving them money makes them feel superior. There's also a evolutionary need to help fellow tribemembers. But do people make this calulations when they give them money? Do they weight happiness gained from what they can gain by giving away versus what they can buy with this money? I don't think so, they maybe just "feel" that they want to help. Same with parent protecting their children as other people pointed out. They just do anything they can to help them except for fringe cases. I believe that other people are generally the same. They may not be "good" at their deepest core, but they are "good" where it's relevant. Besides I think unconditional love is really stupid and obviously unrealistic.

TheBookOfSeil · 2020-08-02T22:18:37+00:00

I think unconditional love is possible, just that it's a very rare thing, like you say. People have to build up to loving someone or others "unconditionally," and of course "unconditionally" doesn't necessarily mean "without cause" because there's always a cause for an effect. Loving someone is an effect, so what would be the cause? Sometimes it's just the way someone looks (which some people would call "infatuation" but there's a little bit more to it than that). Sometimes it's just how you feel about someone that, regardless of what happens between you two, those feelings will persist, and they're all you need to continue doing things for someone.

There are a lot of people in my life that I love because of my history/past experience with them, and I don't need to continue seeing them or have them do things for me in order to have those feelings for them. I'd call that "unconditional" in a way.

Now if you're saying that "unconditional love can happen without an initial cause," I'd be more inclined to agree because that's not how love works.

unknown_lich · 2020-08-03T02:23:10+00:00

Unconditional love is not romantic in nature, it just is.

Romantic love is conditional, and to that extent I agree with you, because a relationship requires compromise

AngelaLikesBoys · 2020-08-03T03:52:40+00:00

"Getting that dick wet" isn't a conditional notion. Sex is a normal part of a relationship and the absence of is more-than-reasonable grounds for considerable dissatisfaction.

abaxeron · 2020-08-03T12:03:15+00:00

The "conditions" of a man's love cannot be taken away from a woman in family court.

There is no legally or socially approved mechanism that would allow a man who "changed his mind" to ruin a woman's appearance, take away her vagina, and force her to have sex with him for decades after divorce.

There IS a legally and socially approved mechanism that allows women who "changed their mind" to ruin a man's social status, take away his wealth, and force him to support her lifestyle for decades after divorce.

I've heard ALL usual counter-arguments to this line of reasoning, and none of them convinced me.

bionix90 · 2020-08-03T14:00:01+00:00

Only a dog's love is unconditional.

BumblingBeta · 2020-08-04T00:49:39+00:00

If you're going by that definition, then yes no one loves unconditionally. Your mother only loves you because you're her child.

But if we don't take the definition to those silly extremes, men can love women just for who they are. A woman doesn't need to really do anything other than be herself and she will still get male suitors. The only condition is she can't be an absolute ugly trainwreck with severe mental problems, but that's a very low bar to fulfill.

Men on the other hand must bring a lot to the table, unless he's one of those very rare genetically gifted men in the looks department (we're talking male model looks + tall + great bone insertions, which is like less than 1% of the male population).

PM-ME-YOUR-STOMACH · 2020-08-10T03:06:52+00:00

I don’t believe this because I loved a girl I never even had sex with. This only happened because I learned to love her though and near the end I would’ve loved her no matter what. Hell a shrooms trip kinda opened my eyes to how much I love certain people and why I would feel the way I do if I felt like it was conditional.

ethinker · 2020-08-02T18:32:45+00:00

I’m a redpiller but yeah basically if unconditional love existed we wouldn’t have had all these problems between men and women.

We expect from them and they expect from us and to each his own mentality so communication is lost.

But still, there are some stuff in the red pill community that’s caused solely by the female nature.

2020-08-02T16:28:07+00:00

You don't understand in what sense word "condition" is used. You must look into arguments of both sides, not just hearing the term and trying to decide if it makes sense to you or not.

You showed your ignorance when you said guys want their dicks wet. We do it all the time. And we still love women even if we don't get our dicks wet. Think dead bedroom situations etc.

DangZagnut · 2020-08-02T16:11:05+00:00

Women too, though: it's like oh look so many ugly ass guys are dating hotter girls that's unconditional love, or hey look she puts up with so much crap that's unconditional love

But money. Ugly guys have money, so that bumps them from a 2 to a 10 instantly.

Thing is, just because a benefit isn't readily apparent, doesn't mean it's not there.

Luckily, there are accountants and bank statements to make it apparent.

She might be a neurotic mess, and the value she receives is in the form of non-judgmental stability.

Money.

Self-sacrifice for its own sake is so rare as to be tHe eXcEpTiOn tHaT prOvEs tHe RulE.

Men sacrifice, because men are retards that think with their dicks, which was your first sentence. Hence, the historical and current oppression of men by divorce court. Women sacrifice and risk nothing by marriage, other than the standard narrative lies.

Women plot and plan because they have much more "interesting" dating requirements. The complexity is not just sex and getting it wet, because women don't care about sex.

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AnjuNagar · 2020-08-05T11:09:32+00:00

It is anything but difficult to confuse the unconditional love significance by deciphering it to imply that you’re defended in adoring your accomplice regardless of how they gravely they treat you. While this might be unconditional love, it’s additionally undesirable and that’s what does love mean. https://findallblogs.com/what-does-love-unconditionally-mean/

SunflowerBurst · 2020-08-02T18:24:17+00:00

Well since you all define love as “tolerate all abuse and stay with them forever” then yeah. Sometimes you can love someone unconditionally and let them go or tell them a difficult truth because love is when you want what’s best for someone.

TheJim66 · 2020-08-02T16:23:57+00:00

When RP says men love unconditionally, it means with few and mostly stable conditions. Compared to female love, male love seems unconditional.

PickleLine · 2020-08-02T21:16:27+00:00

It's not just about serious long term relationships. Women have tons of privilege in dating.

Women have unconditionally good dating and sex lives. Women who are losers can have sex and get multiple dates with men who those women think are attractive and enjoy the company of.

Title	It's not just women or just men; no one loves unconditionally
Author	committeeless
Upvotes	73
Comments	112
Date	August 2, 2020 4:03 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/i2egh4/its_not_just_women_or_just_men_no_one_loves/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/its-not-just-women-or-just-men-no-one-loves.722105 https://theredarchive.com/post/722105

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