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[–]superderpina_FDS Newbie540 points541 points542 points 5 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
thats when you know his name shouldnt be on the birth certificate of your child
[–]Fuckdoesithurt956FDS Newbie360 points361 points362 points 5 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
If I was a nurse there I would have made note to check on that poor woman after the birth and ask if she needed help getting away from him.
[–]chasingastarl1ghtFDS Apprentice237 points238 points239 points 5 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
Like seriously. The woman clearly wasn't cooperating because she knew subconsciously the child was safer inside her womb rather than exposed to him.
[–]singing_streamFDS Newbie170 points171 points172 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I've actually had a conversation recently with a midwife who was telling me that the longest labours she's seen are usually from scared mothers that don't really want their child to be born yet. I completely believe it and that's sad as hell that women can't be confident enough to know their baby will be safe on the outside.
The power of the human mind is astonishing.. some people can raise or lower their body temperature at will, so it doesn't surprise me that a woman can slow down the labour process by being scared.
[–]modestgrayFDS Newbie69 points70 points71 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It makes perfect sense- oxytocyn is what "powers" labor and adrenaline slows it down. If you're scared/stressed then your system is flooded with adrenaline and your labor can take longer
[–]valleycupcakeFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I did a paid medical research project once where I was put under hypnosis with temperature sensors on one finger of each hand. The point was to measure the body response. In the hypnosis she told me my left hand was plunging repeatedly into an ice bucket. It was very uncomfortable, and in the end when I was done, they told me they had measured a seven degree difference!
[–]Fuckdoesithurt956FDS Newbie104 points105 points106 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
That's a terrifying thought.
To be honest the idea of childbirth scares me. I'm going to be vulnerable, exposed, in tremendous pain, with the possibility of tearing apart if vaginal, or someone I don't really know cutting through my abdomen and putting their hands me inside if cesearian. If they knock me unconscious they might use me as a demonstration for med students or assault me. Then I could have complications for life if they stitch me up wrong, or if a vengeful doctor removes my fallopian tubes (was on a tiktok on this sub recently). I know billions of women have done it and will continue to do it, but it doesn't mean it's safe. I don't blame that woman for freaking out.
[–]chasingastarl1ghtFDS Apprentice63 points64 points65 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Childbirth also terrifies me and I feel like the reality of it and the options aren't really properly discussed? We have a birthing house around here that's next to an hospital. It's expensive (compared to free healthcare) - but Id prefer to give birth in a place where I'd be surrounded by women, in a private room that allows me to move according to how my body feels comfortable. And if there's any problem, the hospital is next door. I've heard so many stories of doctor rushing the birthing process, hurting the mother in the way, because theyre paid by medical act and waiting for the mother to push the baby out naturally ain't lucrative enough.
[–]Feral_Housewife_FDS Newbie28 points29 points30 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
If the idea of being rushed or disregarded while on labor scares you, I can't recommend finding an OB/GYN practice that has both midwives and physicians enough. Go with a practice that has both on call at all times. The doc will only be called in if there are serious complications and the midwife and L&D nurses will manage your labor. I saw the physician on call once when they came in when I was first getting hooked up and everything, and again when the midwife was stitching me up to make sure that everything was all good, and that's it. The midwife and L&D nurses were amazing, they kept me very calm and explained things to me as they were happening and explained their reasoning behind interventions they were suggesting.
I had an entirely wonderful experience giving both at a giant, major hospital in the northeast. A lot of hospitals are purposely redoing birthing floors to facilitate a better, less clinical experience for the patients.
[–]FlashyKardashyFDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
In the uk midwives assist the majority of the labour, doctors are only called upon if there is a problem like a breach birth or if the umbilical chord is wrapped around the neck. Midwives have more human touch imo and listen to women more.
[–]Feral_Housewife_FDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is how it is in my particular bubble of the northeastern US as well. Almost all our large OB/GYN groups have both on staff and hospitals are set up in a way that accommodates that model of care. I'm sure it's vastly different elsewhere in the US though.
[–]fdssavedmylifeFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I don’t have children, but I work with several mothers who were discussing childbirth the other day. A few of them said the epidural caused their upper body to shake uncontrollably and no one ever warned them that could happen. Just a heads up for anyone wanting to go that route, since no one told them.
[–]sealcrabFDS Newbie258 points259 points260 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Guys who talk about 'the other side of me' are abusers lol.
[–]WatzooFDS Newbie42 points43 points44 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Always. ✊🏻
[–]AllyuckUfasuckFDS Newbie35 points36 points37 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think this is very true. My ex literally used to call the scary voice he used to abuse me his 'Hyde voice'. I'm glad I'm out of the FOG, Jesus.
[–]MaisiebrFDS Apprentice195 points196 points197 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
HOW is that encouraging? This should be a time of "I'm here no matter what".
[–]Revolutionary-Day938FDS Newbie72 points73 points74 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What an asshole 😡
[–]ForwardgashFDS Apprentice285 points286 points287 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Labor is already some of the worst pain and suffering a woman will ever feel...and some women have to go through it with a shitty or abusive man. I just cannot even imagine that level of hell. No physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual comfort during one of the most vulnerable and life-threatening times of your life. Pure torture.
[–]Feral_Housewife_FDS Newbie39 points40 points41 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My LVM ex husband was, aside from the cheating, wonderful when I was pregnant and in labor and post partum. He did very well as a birthing partner. Sometimes it's AFTER that's worse, when they feel like they really have you locked down now. There were plenty of red flags of course, but his abuse didn't start really ramping up until after. :/
[–]TagTrogFDS Newbie26 points27 points28 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The idea of having a LVM's child in me whike he laughs at my helpless state and becomes abusive makes me think of something like the movie Alien.
[–]darkempress2003FDS Newbie39 points40 points41 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I've had gallstones and a herniated disc. I don't need any more damn pain. Kids are a hard nope for me.
[–][deleted] 96 points97 points98 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That is beyond scary and abusive. Imagine threatening your wife while she’s giving birth 😞 poor woman.
[–]cherryblossom012FDS Newbie75 points76 points77 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
🚨🚨🚨
[–]xYenneferFDS Newbie[S] 127 points128 points129 points 5 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link
The first tweet was cute, but the second one is just sooo disgusting and sad. Poor woman :(
[–]MistressSelkieFDS Newbie66 points67 points68 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
The first one is kind of sad too though. Women shouldn’t feel like they have to apologize for shouting or comfort other people while they are in labor. Women are taught to put everyone above themselves in a way that is problematic.
The first tweet can happen to a couple where they are both great towards each other and genuinely happy though. I don’t think that it reflects poorly on anyone involved like the second situation does.
[–]yolosunshineFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
No.
If I, a 6 year old child, can be compassionately reminded to shut the fuck up and let my sibling’s serious and alarming medical care crisis be about them.
Then a grown man experiencing a normal and entirely caused situation can not scream at his wife.
She has nothing to be sorry for and he has no excuse to hide behind.
[–]xYenneferFDS Newbie[S] 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Um the guy in the first tweet never screamed at her?
[–]yolosunshineFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The first one wasn’t cute either.
Who the hell gets mad at a person yelling for experiencing mindbending pain?
Oh right, LVM who have never heard a peep out of the women they impregnated.
I couldn’t work labor I’d be slapping husbands left and right. And I’d be right.
Maybe not legal, but right.
[–]circescircusRuthless Strategist59 points60 points61 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is a horror movie trailer.
[–]PapaverinumFDS Apprentice261 points262 points263 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Men don't see women as people. We're objects to them. His child has more value to him, cause he only sees his wife as an incubator for his offsprings.
[–]xYenneferFDS Newbie[S] 115 points116 points117 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yet these same pathetic scum-of-the-earth scrotes will go hibernate into their toxic shit hole forums and circle jerk about how “toxic” and “manipulative” WE are, not them of course!
[–]LadyKaitlynFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’ve never seen an actual “manipulation tip” on here or anything like that. 😂 The people who say that are people who base their opinion of FDS on a boogeyman version that random internet dudebros invented because they were insecure. They’d have people believe we’re all bitter ugly harpies scheming to steal men’s money and happiness while hiding our true nature, or something. There’s no actual truth to it. If you don’t like something the FDS “strategy” is to just leave and make yourself happy, not try to change someone or force anything.
[–][deleted] 13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I felt that way for a long time with my ex (as his forever gf back then). He had said that the happiest day of his life would be the birth of his child. I can understand it being one of the two happiest days of his life, but no, a wedding didn’t even make his list, even though he was the one who insisted on a traditional one instead of elopement. I was a resource to him, nothing more.
[–]Summerisle7FDS Disciple81 points82 points83 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It was a mistake to start allowing men in the delivery room
[–]WatzooFDS Newbie24 points25 points26 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’ve come full circle and now agree with this entirely.
[–]katthekanuckFDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I used to think it was a good idea because it would allow a man to see the full consequences of his actions, and keep that in mind the next time he was feeling randy. Now, I feel like they just think we’re truly stupid for putting ourselves through the struggles of pregnancy, when they know deep down they didn’t truly earn the privilege to have their genes carried on. 😬
[–]PasDeToutFDS Newbie34 points35 points36 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Sounds like that one nurse ought to be reading up on obstetric violence because talking about uncooperative patients demonstrates a lack of empathy.
https://www.who.int/reproductivehealth/topics/maternal_perinatal/statement-childbirth-govnts-support/en/
[–]honeydewmelonzFDS Newbie26 points27 points28 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What the hell??
[–]darkhorse8419FDS Newbie25 points26 points27 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’ll never forget my first labor and delivery clinical in nursing school. This tiny lady was having trouble naturally delivering her nine pound baby, and her “significant other” was literally sitting in the chair sulking silently because he clearly didn’t want a child. Hey asshole, no one forced you to come. It was disturbing to me because she was so sweet and polite even while her vagina was being torn to pieces.
[–]karaokekillerFDS Newbie52 points53 points54 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If I could do my labours over I would do them without a man present.
[–]Waste-WinFDS Newbie53 points54 points55 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Both are terrible for me, but the last one is the worse, I mean yeah man no one like abusers and you sound like bad news but the other man, are you serious? I'm in the middle of the worst pain I've ever been and you cry? please stay strong and help me cope don't start crying so I need to take care of your pain too.
[–]chasingastarl1ghtFDS Apprentice36 points37 points38 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The woman wasnt cooperating cause unconsciously she didn't want her child to be unsafe outside her womb - exposed to this clearly abusive man.
[–]xYenneferFDS Newbie[S] 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
To be honest, I can't agree because I would be disappointed if my husband didn't cry at my labour. Being supportive throughout the entire process is expected of course, but I don't see anything wrong in him crying at seeing our child being born. It's a beautiful process. Hell I'd cry too.
[–]RabidWenchFDS Apprentice9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Dude. I'm a nurse, though not in L&D. If my pts spouse said that out loud in my hearing I would ask him to leave. Those kinds of statements are not conducive to a healing environment and I'd be asking her some pointed questions about whether she would like a social worker to visit.
[–]MidnightMajFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I hope she kicked the husband out after that comment! What a disgusting excuse for a man.
[–]CompetitionMedical70FDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Why do some women think this shit is cute.
[–]meeohmyoh5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That’s when you have his ass thrown out of the room.
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[–]ReignOnYou951 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Why is she laughing like thats funny..??
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[–]superderpina_FDS Newbie540 points541 points542 points (14 children) | Copy Link
[–]Fuckdoesithurt956FDS Newbie360 points361 points362 points (13 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Fuckdoesithurt956FDS Newbie104 points105 points106 points (7 children) | Copy Link
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