Ya'll seem to have very low expectations when it comes to sex with a man. I don't blame you. Nonetheless let's work on that.
Overall Mentality
A HVM prioritizes your pleasure over his. Your overall comfort is non negotiable but the basis for any sexual interaction for him. If you suddenly drop out he won't continue with what he did before. He doesn't need to be told explicitly, because it's obvious to him. Your pleasure is his reward. So if you are not feeling it he isn't feeling it either. He adapts his action depending on your individual needs in the situation. He leads sex without dominating like a good dancing partner leads you during a partner dance. He cares for your mind, body and soul on such a fundamental level that it doesn't cross your mind WhAt YoU bRiNg On ThE tAbLe. You are the table. Sleeping with you is an honor and he acts accordingly.
Body and Physical Appearance
A HVM won't expect you to put up with a average unattractive male body. It's OK to have personal preferences but know this: A fit guy will last longer when it comes to physical stamina. A HVM won't leave you hanging so he makes sure he has some fundamental fitness and cares about his health. He will last half an hour nonstop at least.
Additional Green Flags are:
- Regular exercise, at least 5 times a week: cardio & weight training. He doesn't need to be a body builder for wanting to stay healthy and age gracefully. Bodies are made to move.
- a healthy diet without junk food, self cooked, plant based meals
- a sense of style and fashion, that indicates he wants to look good for you
Sexual Health
A HVM comes STD and STI free into your sex life. Obviously that doesn't mean that having a disease or some other medical condition makes a person 'low value'. If you struggle to understand the difference read the handbook definition of what it means to be 'high value' and 'low value'.A HVM values his and your health. He is already tested or both of you take the chance to get tested together. You should get tested regularly anyhow. I do it once a year and/or at the start of every relationship. You have full transparency when it comes to access the test results. You don't take someones word for it on these things. A HVM is on the same page as you.
No stigma though if someone gets tested positive. Talk open and shame free about it and how you plan to handle it in your shared sex life. It's not HV to shame somebody for it. You don't know how they got, sometimes they can't know themselves. Despite the name some of them don't even need to be sexually transmitted, like Herpes or HPV. For victims of sexual assault it can be triggering to speak about their trauma. Respect that, don't prod. What matters is what you make out of the situation.Obviously nobody asks to get a STD/STI. Due to biological reasons women are more at vulnerable. Keep in mind, that no HVM wants to expose you to that risk.Read the handbook for further information.
Birth Control
A HVM prioritizes your health over his dick. Wherever you are he always has condoms ready. Their date of expiry is intact. He knows how and when to put a condom on his dick and he does it on his own. A condom has to be removed from the penis after ejaculation before he gets limps. He knows how and when to remove a condom safely and he does it on his own. He never assumes that you shoulder the weight of birth control alone. He doesn't expect you to use a contraceptive to prevent a pregnancy. In case of unwanted pregnancy he doesn't expect you to get an abortion but he also doesn't expect you to keep it either. Overall he knows he has no say about your body. Period.As responsible HV adults you talk about pregnancy before you engage in sex for the first time. He initiate the talk at an appropriate time. I advice you to contracept on your own too but I'm aware that BC comes with risks and side effects. For example when you can't take hormonal BC containing estrogen for medical reasons you can get the cooper coil. He shouldn't expect you too, this has to be your own decision. You taking BC doesn't relieve him from the burden to wear a condom. If you don't want (any more) children vasectomy becomes an option. A HVM prefers to get a vasectomy before you get a tubal occlusion because it's less invasive.
A HVM understands that it makes more sense to unload a magazine or shot against a wall than to require others to wear a bullet proof vest.
Foreplay
I recently made a post that sex starts before foreplay. What I mean by that is that your overall relationship should be a wonderful experience on it's own before you go any further. He has to be desirable for you. You should want to have foreplay with him. It's his job to get you in the mood for sex through foreplay and it's also his job to get you in the mood for foreplay. Speaking of which, a HVM loves foreplay. Not only does he understand it's necessity for potential further steps he never has foreplay for the sake of penetration. He enjoys every intimate minute with you. There is no artificial border that divides 'foreplay' from 'real sex'. Foreplay is sex on it's own.
Sex
He never rushes to "put it in" like some LVM. When you are with a HVM you don't have to worry about performance. You don't overthink, heck, you don't think at all. Everything comes naturally and both of you go with the flow. He makes sure of that. As a HVW you don't fake moan or fake orgasms. And a HVM would even be seriously offended and irritated if you do.
Afterplay
It tells a lot about a men how he treats you after sex. A HVM doesn't escape from you nor does he fall asleep right after sex. He stays with you, cuddles/kisses/caresses you. Maybe both off you fall asleep together in each others arms. He makes sure that both of you 'come down'. After-play is a wonderful bonding experience and very important for your image of him. A HVM wouldn't interrupt after-play for anything in the world. It's his way of saying "You are precious to me and I want to stay by your side".
Orgasms
It is his job to make you cum. You don't stimulate yourself. If purely vaginal orgasms during PIV sex don't work for you he finds a way. A HVM always strives to maximize your pleasure. He finds out on his own what works best for you. He can make you cum through so many different ways and none of them requires you pleasuring yourself.
A HVM unapologetic makes you cum as much as you like. That means you cum at least as often as he does per round (if you do rounds). Your Orgasm does not get postponed. A HVM would still satisfy you after he came but it's on him that you stay in the mood. When his orgasm marks the end of sex for you a HVM makes sure that he doesn't cum before you do.
When you decide to end up things but he hasn't come yet that's OK. Until you enjoy it (what you don't after you called it quits) you don't get him off. A HVM knows that his orgasm is his job.
Although this post is called 'Sex with a HVM' you may have noticed that the section about 'Sex' is the shortest of all. This is nor surprise because individual situations are out of scope of this post. It's suppost to give you some guidelines. Input?
Edit: Clarification
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