To my fellow WOC - if you date outside your race be careful of “woke” guys. There’s a good chance he’s a LVM putting on an act to impress you.

Guyincognito9876 · 2021-05-22T06:09:32+00:00

I know a guy like this, he virtue signals non-stop on social media about race and gender issues. But he clearly has an Asian fetish and only dates petite Asian women much younger than himself.

Davina33 · 2021-05-22T07:17:05+00:00

Well said. I'm mixed too. The pics thing, I'm assuming almost all men do that and it's so degrading. When I was with my ex, his NVM best friend, who I've mentioned before, sent a string of photos of women he was going on dates with from OLD. The comments were objectifying and disgusting. I feel like us non-white women (especially black women) have to vet men much harder than white women. White men already look down on us because of our colour and assume we will be down to fuck. In my experience, these type of men let their true feelings be known relatively quickly and I can avoid being their exotic fantasy. My mix isn't common in the U.K. and I get fetishised a lot. No one wants to feel like an animal on display at the zoo.

Crafty_Collar8183 · 2021-05-22T05:45:24+00:00

Definitely. I've met men who are pro-female or calls out toxic masculinity or join BLM but don't support his own community. All talk and no action. Seriously wtf goes on in their head.

_electrafire · 2021-05-22T05:56:19+00:00

👏👏👏BRAVO to you for going through his phone and finding those vile texts! Imagine if you gave into the pRiVaCy propaganda and found yourself emotionally involved with a racial fetishist! So much respect 👑👑👑

Throwawayrightaway28 · 2021-05-22T10:22:14+00:00

I completely agree. We already know when ⚫️ Men are trash but sometimes it can harder to read the cultural cues of white men being trash. Stay away from woke white dudes in helping professions like social workers or dudes who work for non-profits. They are actually judgmental as hell with massive superiority complexes.

Candid_Check_4843 · 2021-05-22T05:59:59+00:00

I agree with everything that you said. My personal solution is that I've just stopped dating white guys. I don't want to deal with all that racial and racial fetish stuff-- if not from him, then likely from his family or friends. I'm Asian American and there are so many dehumanizing stereotypes that men have about Asian women. Some white guys are so sick with yellow fever (i.e. fetishing Asian women) that it's absolutely repulsive. I only date Asian American guys now. I personally find them so much more attractive than white guys, and it's so nice to date someone who just "gets" the Asian American experience because they're Asian American as well.

British-Japanese singer Rina Sawayama wrote a song about dating as an Asian woman and general Asian racism, called "STFU!" and I love her for it.

kinkardine · 2021-05-22T14:57:50+00:00

Also if you are a white girl and dating a brown guy, DO NOT fall in love with him, 99.99999999999% brown guys see white girls as ‘fuckme’, they simply do not have the backbones to go against their culture and religion to include someone egalitarian. They will use you for their need, they are extremely good at pursuing and love bombing, showing affection, but no matter how much educated they are, how stable they seem you will always be a foster till their parents find the proper victim back in country/same race to exploit for dowry and their social status. You will know they are serious when they have introduced you to their parents, and his mom is actively including you in the family. I have seen some brown guys marrying other races cause of immigration too but they belong mostly in lower spectrum of education.

blackcanves · 2021-05-22T13:36:38+00:00

I'm so glad you got to see his true colours early on and had the ability to leave him. It really takes a lot self-control for you to have not said anything after being so humiliated and objectified by him. This way he has no idea what went wrong and he can't use that knowledge to better hide his true nature from the next women he tried to dates. And I think this is why it's so important to just block and delete with no explanation.

This also applies to men of colour. I'm so ashamed that I stayed with two men like this. Two of my exes admitted to specifically searching and watching porn with women of my ethnic background because they were dating me. I somehow let them convince me that it was a compliment. When I was at the ultimate height of pick-me behaviour, one of them used to actually send me pictures of random women and porn links of women he claimed looked like and reminded him of me. When I asked him to stop he said I was being insecure. The saddest part was how he'd talk about his experience of being a black man and how he worked to fight injustices done to his community, yet had no problem blatantly fetishizing and objectifying women of colour. I realize now that he never saw me as human, only as an object of gratification, sexual or otherwise. This is how pornsick, aka the majority, of men regardless of race see women.

Revy_Ur_Engines · 2021-05-22T18:08:07+00:00

I dated an “urban” white guy just to see what’s up. It felt like he was putting on a caricature of an urban black man. And then he started talking about issues in the black community like colorism and stuff. Like his white ass understood any of that shit. And to top this, he was stupid as all hell and the dick was trash. 0/10 do not recommend lol

stoic_rock28 · 2021-05-22T14:18:08+00:00

Being a feminist has become a way to impress Queens nowadays. I’ve fallen for one, misogynist level max after we started dating. Gosh, what a bad decision Friday that was.

West_Zone · 2021-05-22T08:13:55+00:00

Than you for this post! And I'm so sorry you've had to go through those awful experiences.

When I talk about this issue, people often say "just don't date white men!", but this doesn't solely apply to white men. And depending on where you live, you might not even be around men of the same race as you. I'm also mixed and rarely do I see mixed men my age (not men with my background, just multiethnic ppl in general). Mono-racial men, no matter their race, keep fetishising me, but when it comes to white men there's the added racism.

Woke men are the worst though. I randomly stumbled over some white male activist's IG account, and guess what? He was posting pics of him and his [black] gf and tagging the pics with shit like #Interracial, #InterracialLove, #BlackAndWhite etc. It was so creepy!

Catz10000 · 2021-05-22T09:07:32+00:00

I'm older (41) and am definitely East Indian in appearance. My interest in men is practically zero due to past traumas, plus my work as a profiler and forensic psychologist specializing with pedophiles. However, in my experience, while white men tend to fetishize all Asians, they are the least scrotey in my opinion. The guys I dated from my culture were LVM who were mama's boys, and lazy AF. HVM are rare in every culture and ethnicity.

My current partner seems to be HVM, but of course he's not perfect. But he listens to me, acknowledges his privileges and my intersectionality, and actively seeks to level up himself whilst being completely supportive of me. So far, lol. My ex husband is LVM disguised as HVM. Also white, and ironically grew up in the same province as my partner. They're actually civil and superficially similar in education and views. But even as a profiler, I fell for LVM lies. So I feel like being single will give me peace. I refuse to tolerate bullshit from anyone ever again. My partner is even supportive of me getting my own place without him because after 20+ years, I need it.

garcyp · 2021-05-22T11:29:45+00:00

Thank you for this advice, I'm going to start paying more attention to these flags in the future.

modernmedusaa · 2021-05-22T10:22:26+00:00

So many white men are racist and not shy of hiding it.

curlywurlyprincess · 2021-05-22T19:09:49+00:00

[deleted]

luvmyvulvaxoxo · 2021-05-22T14:02:50+00:00

Remember ladies - men CAN NOT be feminists either. They do not know what it’s like to be a woman, they have no skin in the game.

It’s just like OPs point. Forwardly woke or feminist men are over performing.

AllieBirdL · 2021-05-22T15:01:14+00:00

I'm a white woman who previously worked with abused children & children in foster care in the legal prosecution/court room arena. Because of this I've been very open with partners and friends about my intention to eventually be a foster parent/adopt an underprivileged child when I'm older and very stable. At this point, I'm pretty sure that will happen as a single parent by choice, because most men are shit.

My LVM ex once mentioned that he'd be fine adopting a kid but theyd have to be the "same background" as him so it wouldn't "look weird"....because apparently interracial families would just be too much trouble??? It was SOOO creepy to hear, like how would you say no to a child who needs a home just because he/she is a POC? I'd be overjoyed to love that child -- my thoughts would be "let me research their culture to make sure I understand their experience as much as possible" or "let me call up my friends who are this race/ethnicity and get their advice/make sure my child has positive role models who look like him/her in their life" "are there holidays their family may have celebrated due to different religion/etc that I'm not aware of and should embrace to help this be an easier change for them?". But NO, *mUh kID hAs To lOOk LiKE mE!!" 🤦‍♀️

White women -- vet white men carefully as well please. Imagine that asshole raising a child and passing on his shitty racist views.

On a positive note tho - my cousin and her husband (also white) havent been able to have bio children, so they just legally adopted two adorable siblings they were foster parents for, 4 & 7, who happen to be mixed -- they are the most beautiful, wholesome, and happy family ❤

TellCerseeItWasMe · 2021-05-22T16:03:47+00:00

I wish him seeing you reading the chat would have been enough to change his degrading ways

SqueaksScreech · 2021-05-22T12:27:11+00:00

I recently came to the realization my most of my exes just weren't really into white girls. They only dated them to bring them home to meet their mothers.

I had a few exes who had zero interest in white girl and they were men of color. My white exes dating history is only white girls and women and then me a brown Mexican.

I was only good enough to flirt with, temporarily date, have sex with and even have a child but I was not good enough to marry, build a stable family or even bring home to meet their parents. I noticed that my white exes only dated white women with dark hair and brown eyes. They never really went after a white women with blond hair and blue eyes and even remember them saying that they don't particularly like these type of women.

TellCerseeItWasMe · 2021-05-22T16:00:50+00:00

I won't say what race I am but I remember in undergrad things got so bad that I had to tell everyone I knew to never say what race I am but tell them I'm something else otherwise every single guy's face would light up like they won the Powerball once they knew

They are fvcking disgusting

Cultural_Training249 · 2021-05-22T12:49:54+00:00

Trutfully I don't date or allow myself to befriended by so called Woke people, BLM people, Pro Blacks, Social Justice Warriors, people who use the word shaming to shut down conversations. No people who try police what you can say either and people who talk all that positive BS and shut out reality. I find them to be mentally off, mean and always ready to argue. As well as the fakest, evil and most duplicitous back stabbers and illogical.

TheDaezy · 2021-05-22T05:20:44+00:00

I’m interested in the other story. What did he say when he reached back out to you?

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curlywurlyprincess · 2021-05-22T06:19:35+00:00

[removed]

Title	To my fellow WOC - if you date outside your race be careful of “woke” guys. There’s a good chance he’s a LVM putting on an act to impress you.
Author	curlywurlyprincess
Upvotes	0
Comments	65
Date	May 22, 2021 1:47 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ni82s0/to_my_fellow_woc_if_you_date_outside_your_race_be/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/to-my-fellow-woc-if-you-date-outside-your-race-be.753710 https://theredarchive.com/post/753710

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