(Mostly interested in answers from women, but I don’t want to exclude genuine advice from men.)

Seems to be a large percentage of women in this sub who are either married, partnered in some way, getting through life with casual fuck-friends, or quite pleased with having absolutely nothing to do with men in general. Around 75% of the women here (if I were to guess a number) are likely no longer “looking” but have so much wisdom to offer. You have all been through a lot, and I think that’s why you are here. Even though deep down I tend to believe some of you aren’t actually happy, but I digress…

It’s often a long hard road to find that emotional connection many crave because we learn ultimately we have to place other priorities to the side in order to find it. Sometimes against what feels natural. We are taught very early by western society to shoot for the stars in everything we do. Be the best. Who could blame anyone for listening to that and be inspired. With that logic you set out to find one of the most impressive men society has to offer and give him a chance to be with you. If you do that, in time, the emotional connection you ultimately crave will fall into place on its own, right?

Realistically, there are only so many people we can really get to know in our time on planet earth. So, it’s often a true blessing to find such a connection. But you crave it still. That chance, however slim, to elevate the average/boring/vanilla relationship (available to women on almost every street corner), to opening a world of mutual love & respect with a beautiful person that is simply too difficult to describe in words. Many of us know the reality not shown in the romantic movies and it makes me sad when I see a woman wasting her years waiting for a top tier man that either 1. never appears in their life, 2. never commits to anything meaningful, or 3. turns out to be the boring and unfulfilling relationship she was desperate to avoid in the first place. Her Instagram page looks amazing with him but her heart remains incredibly empty and unfulfilled. It’s a hard road to walk, accumulating many scars along the way, and ultimately the hardest way to learn reality.

Anyway, as the title states, what is your advice to those few single women here? For those female lurkers trying to make sense of the marketplace and how they can find what they are looking for. “Be yourself” and “you be you” is good generic advice, but not what I mean. Looking for some practical wisdom here.

My thoughts based on what I’ve witnessed over the years on this topic would fill a book, but my quick advice to women using a very little space I have here is to ask yourself two questions.

  1. Why is he really in my life at this moment?

  2. Am I comfortable with the answer to question 1.

And before asking yourself question #1, you need to ask him a lot of questions. And before asking him a lot of questions, you need to learn how to ask those questions so you can get genuine answers.

That’s all I’m going to say, otherwise I’m going to spill a hundred paragraphs that would get removed. lol.