Q4W: Why some women complain about men going out of their league? How does it compare with "settling"?

spinsterchachkies · 2021-07-06T14:02:20+00:00

I’ve never cared about “leagues” or whatever men have for standards. But some men do have what I would call “weird expectations”. I was talking to one guy and he would say he had high standards and that he didn’t want to settle. One of his standards was getting a blow job everyday when he got home from work. And i just don’t think that’s practical. I told him I have a life and I job I can’t just drop everything and run over to give you a blowie. Cmon now. We got in a argument over it and I ended it. So weird.

goatismycopilot · 2021-07-06T12:41:20+00:00

I do not have a problem with men going for women that they find attractive, it is a non issue.

Cimorene86 · 2021-07-06T12:42:47+00:00

Leagues are stupid concepts in dating. This isn't football, this is trying to find a partner.

If you ask someone out, and they say yes, and you get into a healthy relationship...who cares if you're in the same looks level or income bracket or class or whatever else determines a "league"? If you're both happy just tell the haters to go piss up a rope.

cowfishAreReal · 2021-07-06T12:18:34+00:00

I honestly never seen a woman complaining about men going out of their league outside of the internet. I'd say most women don't really care

Flightlessbirbz · 2021-07-06T12:18:27+00:00

I actually see that more from men, complaining that women go out of their league but also not wanting to be settled for. But anyway, I don’t have a problem with men trying for someone out of their league if they want. Just don’t claim you can’t find anyone and no women want you if you don’t even consider women in your own league.

GridReXX · 2021-07-06T13:38:53+00:00

This isn’t a thing I’ve noticed ever from women tbh. A woman assumes a man must be “in her league” in some way (socially, class, income, looks, whatever) if he’s stepping to her and she’s responding agreeably.

We don’t care that much.

It’s men who obsess over leagues and it’s men who have a hissy fit if they think women are stepping outside of hers.

houstongradengineer · 2021-07-06T11:14:51+00:00

The most annoying part is that these men keep on complaining and complaining

This is why we complain back. You have that part right. I genuinely don't care who men ask out, just don't be surprised when you get a 'no.' Learn to read your league, and the room. If I can do it to an extent, anyone can.

rft24 · 2021-07-06T16:26:36+00:00

this isn’t something women generally complain about.

idontcomehereoftenso · 2021-07-14T02:53:52+00:00

Leagues? What is this? Baseball?

TomorrowsWar · 2021-07-06T12:33:03+00:00

I do not care. I have had no issue getting the guys I want so idc what anyone else does

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-07-06T15:51:49+00:00

I see this more from men than women.

superlurkage · 2021-07-06T13:36:50+00:00

What, you mean ugly old rich dudes dating gold diggers? No, I don’t care about that

Or do you mean “harassment”? Yeah, I don’t like being nagged and told I need to give someone a chance or charity

1Here4Bach · 2021-07-06T14:14:53+00:00

I don’t care. Just know I won’t be giving these men any type of sympathy when they complain about not being able to find someone

SaBahRub · 2021-07-06T15:34:59+00:00

Uh, what? All I hear is men bitching that women are picky, entitled, stuck up, coddled, egotistical, “hypergamous”, etc

If you mean that men try and shoot out of their league, aka harassment, thirst and simping, yes, there is complaining about that. It’s annoying, like telemarketing calls

If the man actually bags the 10? Not so much

LillthOfBabylon · 2021-07-06T12:35:47+00:00

I have noticed that men sometimes receive the advice to lower their standards or preferences.

Because if you listen to men’s complaints, it always sound like they chase prima Donnas and slutty party girls.

I have also seen women on reddit complain about being settled for

My response is listen to Lower Your Expectations by Bo Burnham.

The men who go out of their league are probably going for women they find attractive.

Then they want to become misogynists when that shit doesn't work.

So, why complain about men who go for women they find attractive aka going out of their league?

Because they become misogynists that demand hot women have sex with them. Then they make a group about how all women deserve to get raoed and killed, which is why r/Incels got banned.

The most annoying part is that these men keep on complaining and complaining and the women in response keep on complaining as well...

Considering incels have killed people, they need to be addressed.

poppy_blu · 2021-07-06T15:21:17+00:00

Basically if you’re not getting the results you want you have to revisit what it is you’re doing. Simple rule of life. The answer may in fact not be lowering your standards for (generic) you. But I can tell you with certainly isn’t wishful thinking or anger phasing.

midwestufohunter · 2021-07-06T16:08:56+00:00

I've actually never heard a woman complain about a man going out of his league.

spinsterchachkies · 2021-07-06T14:16:35+00:00

People that complain about those that “go out of their league” are kinda annoying. No one wants to be settled for, because it hurts to feel like the person you love wanted to be with someone else and just made due with you. No one wants to be 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc. Just go for who you like and see if you click.

Jaylen-Gads · 2021-07-06T10:07:02+00:00

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DplusLplusKplusM · 2021-07-06T15:20:54+00:00

Almost no one is going to get the advice to lower their standards unless they're complaining that they can't get dates with people of the standard they prefer. In which case trying for a different kind of person just seems like common sense. But if the "less attractive" people who are each other's natural dating pool are all holding out for something they're unlikely to ever get it skews the whole order of things. Just as many average men complain about average women trying to date "Chad" as do average women complain about average guys holding out for a supermodel.

__Honey_Badger__ · 2021-07-06T22:48:49+00:00

I'm a decent looking but very short 5'1 brown dude. I'll be the first to admit I've got high standards and it's not in my personality to date women "in my league". However I have zero entitlement and fully understand this means that a relationship/family is not a boat that will sail for me...and I've made peace with that.

I've got loads of great friends (female and male) and focus all my energy on investing, foodbank volunteering and cars :)

I also see a few sex-workers who are actually really cool, chilled out people tbh.

Imo, if traditional dating fails, I think men should get more comfortable with unconventional lifestyles 👍

IcarusKiki · 2021-07-07T07:31:12+00:00

I see more of the reverse tbh.

Khanluka · 2021-07-07T19:57:50+00:00

I only really hear complaints about age differense. Like a 24m dating a 18f. And those guys really don*t care what the woman that are against it think. Never about league. That more a guy think really.

Title	Q4W: Why some women complain about men going out of their league? How does it compare with "settling"?
Author	lostwanderer28
Upvotes	5
Comments	80
Date	July 6, 2021 9:38 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/oerm43/q4w_why_some_women_complain_about_men_going_out/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4w-why-some-women-complain-about-men-going-out-of.789161 https://theredarchive.com/post/789161

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