This happened three years ago at a small company and it still has been weighing on me. It was one of those "we're one big family" tech companies who prided itself on having beer in the fridge and a "great culture".
The management structure above me was my lead (female), mid level manager (female), direct manager (female), and department head (male). The HR department was 3 people (all female). For what it's worth, I am also an ethnic minority and all the women in management were white women.
Myself, a female colleague, and another male colleague were all up for a promotion. The only one that walked away with a promotion was my female colleague, despite myself and my male colleague being there far longer (I actually interviewed and made the call to hire the person who was promoted). The company had a formal list of criteria needed for a promotion, so I created a list with evidence for every bullet point and sent it to my manager. She refused to even glance at it and told me my accomplishments were not relevant. Weeks later I pleaded with her to go over this document and discuss my career goals. She flipped out on me, called me all kinds of names, and then stormed off.
I went to the head of the department and explained what had happened. He was shocked at the behavior and had no idea what was going on in the department. He scheduled a meeting with the three of us and she tried to lay into me again, but instead her boss chewed her out for unprofessional behavior. He then saw my list of accomplishments and decided I was definitely in line for a promotion and I was promoted not long after, along with my male colleague. I thought it was over. Boy was I wrong.
A few months later the department head left the company and was replaced by a female department head (so the entire management structure was female). My boss held a grudge and it was open season on me now. But this time she stepped over the line and harassed me over email with direct language about a disability I have. This is blatantly illegal so I went to HR.
They immediately defended her and tried to gaslight me. Everything I said they tried to counter, until I presented them with the harassment in writing. I stood firm and knew my rights and they backed down. What transpired after that was 6 months of retaliation (I spoke to a lawyer and he said there's not much you can do until they fire you).
Constant belittling, talking bad about me to other coworkers, turning people against me. Every 1 on 1 meeting we had was recorded (something she never did to anyone else). Every time I pushed this up the all female chain of command it fell on deaf ears. Eventually I left the company, just like they wanted. My position was filled by my boss's female friend. I am told by someone that still works there she had been badmouthing me behind my back for over 2 years.
Keep in mind this is a company where other female employees openly said they discriminated against men. They host and sponsor feminist events. They openly say their pride themselves on hiring women.
When I reported my manager for harassment, it was me against a clique that openly made it clear where they stand, and that stance was firmly against men. This just showed me that harassment against men is real, and when the deck is stacked against you there is little that can be done.
[+]NotherThrowaway28482 points [recovered] (15 children) | Copy Link
Got a lawyer? Get one. There's gold in them thar hills.
[–]LivingVideo[S] 145 points146 points147 points (12 children) | Copy Link
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[+]froznlolipop68 points [recovered] (30 children) | Copy Link
Things are gonna get much worse for us before they get better. Right now no one is even acknowledging the fact that this stuff happens.
[–]FabricioPezoa 168 points169 points170 points (15 children) | Copy Link
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[+]Furymist262 points [recovered] (37 children) | Copy Link
Can you provide the name of the company, so that I can avoid it? Thank you.
[+]Anakins-Legs29 points [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
Same here please
[+]angstromlevy24 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Same
[+]Nachocam5027 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Same
[+]aetherjunkie26 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
I also want to know which company to avoid. Thanks!
[+]polololo12319 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Me too!
[–]polololo123 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]Mycroft03336 points [recovered] (8 children) | Copy Link
Do it in DMs, don’t want to encourage brigading.
[+]Quix_Nix29 points [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
I would also like to know for the same reason.
[+]Mycroft03323 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
DM OP, not me. I dunno anything, I just know the mods don’t like brigading.
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[+]masarogue1213 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
me to
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dm
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[+]observeranonymous19 points [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
I realize how stereotypical and sexist this sounds, but honestly it's tiring working with women lmao.
In my personal experience, men are so much more straightforward (and therefore professional).
You might have words or disagreements with another man, but it's all done in the open and that's as far as it goes.
Women seem to honestly enjoy playing the politics and pettiness and rumors etc. I remember a while back there was a study posted on Reddit about how women in STEM were actually less likely to succeed if their mentors were other women, and every comment was along the lines of: "I'm a woman and this is so true, fuck working with other women"
[–]Fresque 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[+]observeranonymous8 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
And it's funny how it kind of proves the point lmao that guy came right up to you and said his piece and you guys left it at that
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[+]ironmans_brother1 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Why the hell did you work at that shithole so long?
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[+]Billzilla54-22 points [recovered] (7 children) | Copy Link
You guys are FUCKING pathetic
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