Divorce and TikTok

edr5619 · 2022-09-04T06:47:42+00:00

The general rule is that whatever someone says on social media is opposite to how she actually feels.

It’s how she wishes she felt. No more.

Grand-Expression-493 · 2022-09-04T07:34:27+00:00

My STBXW is doing same thing after walking out on me, posting vague but clearly directed insta stories which are full of self pity, and feminism in general.

I have chosen to be the bigger man and uninstalled all apps, it's taken a bit of mental toll on me not being connected to some people but it's the price I am willing to pay for not able to see those attacks.

Hang in there.

SpacemanLost · 2022-09-04T08:27:12+00:00

It's been said that as we grow up woman are socialized to be more concerned with appearances and social connections and standing and men are more concerned with accomplishments and performance. And I think the current state of our society encourages that for women (embrace being a victim, put out the message that you are a strong survivor, etc) more than ever.

In my experience, the (STB) wife is usually the one that wants to maintain an air of blamelessness to other people, especially if they did something that could be blamed (like having an affair), with the husbands more likely to be 'matter of fact, let's move on' types. And they are vastly more concerned with what everyone thinks and willing to fabricate narratives and other things to get that.

TakeBackWhat · 2022-09-04T09:24:32+00:00

Remembered!

Please check out a YouTube page named “Mental Healness”.

If you watch even five super-short “stories” I’m certain you’ll find a ton of vindication. I did.

Out of all my family members, only my father, and 1 cousin, speak with me in any meaningful manner. Most not at all. No exaggeration.

And, yea, spoiler alert: my ex is the one that cheated, bogus temp restraining order, went full “girls night out” mode, etc. Me? After a month or so of the finest 1 star hotels in our city, I moved into a super nice tent in the woods behind an apartment complex.

She requested the home and all its positive equity, full custody, cash for wedding balance, and for me to treat all my debt like it was mine alone. She nor her attorney showed ANY interest in negotiations. Lawyer’s reply was “your counter offer is rejected and we will not be negotiating further.” (Blank stare.)

She filed about 15 months ago, and my attorney says I “may” have my court ordered mediation.

This de-facto divorce can ruin a man. Finding eerily similar stories on this particular forum made sure it didn’t ruin me.

Back to you, no-contact the heck out of her. Don’t let her even hear your voice unless in court or at a parent teacher conference. Email and parenting apps only. No texts.

Lastly, back to US, let’s raise these daughters with wisdom, sensibility and morality. Lest we have a Kardashian-esque teenager in 8 years. And join the PTA, etc. Quietly run a campaign for dad of the decade. You have my vote!

upvotersfortruth · 2022-09-04T09:57:01+00:00

She's saying what she needs to say to get attention and validation, the truth has no place there.

akihonj · 2022-09-04T08:51:05+00:00

Dude before the internet the behaviour was commonly held within the friends group.

It's the common reason why most men lose their friends during a divorce. Don't sweat it dude, she's whitewashing history to suit her victim narrative, claiming abuse, common patterns.

TakeBackWhat · 2022-09-04T08:59:12+00:00

I thought I wrote this it’s so similar.

Was she also really into certain “influencers”? Feels like she knows them and lives to impress them kinda?

There’s a great article on Influencers fueling marriage and family doom. I can find it if you like.

Also look into the concept of “flying monkeys” as it relates to covert narcissism.

Consider sharing it with her employer, and anyone who she wouldn’t want to see this side of her. Women are super sensitive to anyone dismantling the NARRATIVE they aggressively and methodically project.

Had more thoughts so I may add more later.

Super common bro, you should sleep like a baby tonight.

Freefaller6 · 2022-09-04T12:18:51+00:00

I gotta ask bro, why do you care? Fuck her, have fun with your new one. Every second you waste on trash you will never get back.

2022-09-04T15:24:53+00:00

My ex has her Facebook riddled with Buddhist quotes about peace and harmony while actually having the behavior of a rabbit junk yard dog.

Social media is bullshit...

JD-Anderson · 2022-09-04T16:27:27+00:00

Yeah, this is what social media is. My ex posted all sorts of things online when we separated. I completely disappeared off of social media at that time. I got back on awhile later because of business (still hate social media). My SO and my mother I know still stalk my ex on SM, but I told them I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING UNLESS THEY FIND SOMETHING THAT WOULD HARM MY CHILD. They’ve respected my wishes, but they like to commiserate among themselves and I’ve over heard some things. But I’ve blocked my ex on all platforms and I legit don’t give one single shat about her opinion. Over the years people have seen through her bs online. We’re in a custody battle right now and she’s supposedly talking a lot of smack online. I haven’t posted a single personal thing.

I learned a big lesson years ago in college. We walked into a bar and there was a drunk prick talking loudly about being able to fight anyone. Then there was a dude quietly drinking his beer down the bar. When the fist started to fly, the quiet guy was the last one standing. Moral of this story, never mess with the quiet guy minding his own business.

CrazySanta7 · 2022-09-04T12:35:22+00:00

This is less about you (or your prior relationship with her) and more about fishing for men. It's a way to signal that she is single without saying it. I had same thing happen......i got cheated, but it was 100% my fault. Lol. Women need validation whether its wearing spandex or bitching about their current/past love life.

captainchippsixx · 2022-09-04T13:00:26+00:00

Bad spouses always always rewrite the narrative! This seems like a attention seeking or money ploy. The thing is, as a guy when I see these videos I roll my eyes. I also think they are probably a narcissist.

dpch · 2022-09-04T13:44:04+00:00

I have thoughts. Women like this have to form their own alternate reality in order to justify their actions to themselves, but more importantly to their friends.

And god forbid if you act in a contentious manner after the fact, that will just provide them with more justification, even though your actions are a direct result of her choices.

After having gone through a similar ringer myself (not to the point of TikTok posts though), I’m wary of anybody that shows up going “oh, he/she was so toxic, so abusive, etc.” and it’s usually women.

I’ve found a lot of good stuff on TikTok and some really bad stuff. One example is a lady who claimed that since her ex wanted to keep the family together that made him toxic, just shockingly bad.

AirSailer · 2022-09-04T14:01:43+00:00

My ex did a similar thing. I've always been an outdoor person such as week long hiking trips, mountain biking, climbing, canoeing, etc; she has done those things, but usually would rather be at home on the couch staring at Facebook. A few months after I filed for divorce she started posting pictures of her and our son in the woods hiking, flying kits, basically doing fun outdoors things. The thing is, she never actually did those things, eventually I asked our son and he said that she would take him out and they would go out there to take pictures. One notable example was she took him to fly kites, but they were gone for 20 minutes and when I asked (why she was back so soon) she said there was no wind, then later I saw a pic on FB of him and her flying kites. Honestly, I didn't really care, I just thought it was funny. Then later she started posting comments about how hard it was to be a single mother all alone caring for a child, not long after I started getting calls from my family telling me about, and a couple mean FB messages from "friends" I hadn't talked to in decades telling me I need to be in my son's life. The ridiculous part was that we were living together (covid) and she had no job while I worked 50-60 hrs/wk, and we were still doing 50/50 time with our kid, so she literally had nothing to do for half the time. Some people live in a world that has no connection to reality.

WartimeDad · 2022-09-04T14:36:36+00:00

Yup. They commonly rewrite history. They are gaslighting themselves and those around them. Don’t let her pull you into that crap. As far as I can tell nothing that can be done about it than to stay the course. Not in your control.

Funny_Wolverine_9 · 2022-09-04T14:38:19+00:00

They ALL re-write history. I provided my ex with 2 homes, 3 vacations a year, private school for kids, 2 cars, and at the end of the day I got cheated on and was falsely accused of rape (criminally). Lost everything defending my innocence.

mehmench · 2022-09-04T14:56:45+00:00

Projection. A narcissist’s accusation is really a confession.

ijustdontcare74 · 2022-09-04T15:34:11+00:00

If you can download it somehow and keep it safe, I would do that. Not for inane shit, but if she defames you, makes shit up or otherwise does something actionable...it's best you keep that evidence.

salama2022 · 2022-09-04T16:25:08+00:00

She's probably feels empty and social media is the only place where she feels worthy. Remember, people on social media will only tell you what you want to hear. People who tell others the truth about their life situation often get blocked. She's empty and desperate for attention.

rsmiley77 · 2022-09-04T17:23:58+00:00

Best advice I can give is to not worry about the exes and their lives… either real or social. There’s a nice option on most social media where it looks like you’re following them but you never see any of their post or anything. Life’s too short to spend even 2 seconds on what they’re saying and doing.

dadmacintosh · 2022-09-04T17:30:42+00:00

I know others said it, but she is making up for something that’s missing in her life. I learned through a rough marriage that women don’t know why they feel one way or another: worse what the feeling is. So they lash out or take to social media the way your ex is doing. The best revenge is to live well, bro. Don’t waste your time on what she is saying about your relationship. Have you ever, I mean ever, heard a women say she left a good relationship?

Environmental-Tap128 · 2022-09-04T20:33:47+00:00

Yesssir! My STBX 28f has been posting all about her new and improved single life on instagram and TikTok. Our mutual friend, (my buddies wife) says that she thinks she is delusional. I feel as though there are many hurt girls and women on those social media site, so they post things like, “know your worth” and “dump him to regain independence” I could go on and on but my point is that it’s a very trendy topic. My STBX before she left, I saw a notification on her phone about screen time….6hrs/ day average. Filled her mind to the brim with this garbage and convinced herself that I was a horrible husband.

WarChildMKIV · 2022-09-04T21:52:05+00:00

Focus on your purpose and let her wreck herself. My ex did the same and is trying to be a "Motivational Speaker". Her middle name is "Joy" so part of the name is "Joyful" (take some time to throw up) mean while, I'm doing a podcast that has nothing to do with her and everything about firearm safety and black society and its been very therapeutic. I also mentioned how she was featuring out daughter on her page and brought that to an immediate halt. Funny thing is, she made her "joy" page private now.

TakeBackWhat · 2022-09-04T22:24:34+00:00

You sound centered. Seeking that same state in each moment. Thank you.

azwildcat74 · 2022-09-05T00:14:00+00:00

My ex did the same shit. We met young and pushed each other through personal and professional growth. She was jobless and living with her mom who constantly told her to stay jobless so she could stay helpless to her moms whims until we met and she got out of it.

We were together 12 years, got married, had kids, helped each other through college while working FT+ hours. My dad died suddenly of undiagnosed cancer when Covid kicked off, I didn’t handle the stress well. She waited until the inheritance all hit the bank account and then filed.

On her way out she told me I was abusive, manipulative, tried to make me an every-other-weekend dad. It was a complete mind fuck, she had never said any of that shit one time when we were together.

Ultimately I’m much better off and much happier with 50% custody of my girls now. Fuck people who do this to other people instead of just owning that it isn’t working and settling for that.

Comprehensive-Win-62 · 2022-09-04T12:50:17+00:00

I think you should listen to what she posts and understand that she’s not delusional, THAT HOW IT WAS FOR HER. If she split from you, she thought you sucked so the likelier answer is that you and your new girlfriend are more invested in NOT taking an honest look at yourself and your actions.

FUMoney · 2022-09-04T12:59:26+00:00

TikTok? The fuck do you care about this meaningless, inane bullshit? Soon you two will be legally independent adults. No one is watching this TikTok Junk she’s posting Few are reading Facebook. No one gives a damn.

Push to finalize the divorce quickly, cleanly, efficiently. Then don‘t look back, and never, ever again waste your time with this social media idiocy. I mean it: no one cares. No one.

sars445 · 2022-09-04T18:02:43+00:00

Yeah man this is super common... All you gotta do is ignore, dont care, etc...

007--Chill · 2022-09-04T18:24:55+00:00

X is X why care wtf she going doing on a app. Are you going fallow her rest of your life. She label as a jerk. Unless you want be with her…..

derelictherds · 2022-09-06T21:47:57+00:00

I think what your ex is doing is pretty common considering how the marriage ended (that is abruptly, she was probably cheating, etc). She is delusional and may or may not ever "snap out of it". The people that matter most in life know the real you and can see through her facade. Fuck everyone else.

That-Potential-5684 · 2022-09-09T17:46:39+00:00

It's a well known fact in the red pill community. It's called 'The light switch effect'.

Title	Divorce and TikTok
Author	muskaman33
Upvotes	39
Comments	58
Date	September 4, 2022 6:04 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/x5fjc1/divorce_and_tiktok/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/divorce-and-tiktok.1130159 https://theredarchive.com/post/1130159

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