Divorce costs

david10277 · 2023-10-10T19:33:38+00:00

Many factors my friend..

Mine was 85k ...lasted 2 yrs Back and forth emails

Pre trial prep Mediation Appraisals Motions

It's not the cost it's what it's worth

Reflog1791 · 2023-10-10T18:27:21+00:00

$10k for me. Stayed out of court by listening to my lawyer. Tied it up in mediation without lawyers present.

I did not file motions (other than filing divorce). I grey rocked the shit out of my ex. Kept the mortgage paid while I rented an apartment.

Focused on the big picture which was staying out of debt (staying out of court) and positive cash flow.

Used reverse psychology to get what I wanted. “My turn to party you can watch kid this weekend.” Lol kid was at my house that night.

True_Scorpio23 · 2023-10-10T19:14:20+00:00

Unlike many other areas of law, family law is a special type of machine. There is literally no definitive end to family law litigation. Although with children out of the equation it can help. There are so many different tools to string out litigation that it only takes one side to not cooperate and things will get drawn out. Also depends on the judge in your case. For example, once divorce is filed, you’ll normally get a couple of dates and deadlines as to how thing “should” proceed. Things like discovery and a trial date. However, one side can argue that the other side is hiding assets or reducing the value of property. This will lead to extended discovery which will mean that the trial date gets pushed back. Then, the same side can claim that based on the extended discovery they’ll need additional time to prepare for trial. Another common trick is make themselves unavailable for a court date because of reasons. It could also be the case that now you will need additional time to prepare to counter the allegations from the extended discovery. There might be expert witnesses involved who need to get paid before starting their work and then after their work is complete, you have to wait for their findings to be filed with the court. If they need to testify in court you add one more person’s schedule and availability to the mix and things continue to drag out. All of this will just add more cost to the divorce proceedings. Once you finally have a trial date and a divorce decree, the other party may then choose to reopen the case with a post judgement motion for some other frivolous reason. If the opposing party has the money to drag things out and the other doesn’t, it really puts one party at a disadvantage.

One of the best ways to curb this behavior is to ask the court for attorney fees and costs for dragging you into court. This will depend on the judge and they might not award you the relief which will only encourage the behavior from the other side. This is just one of many ways that divorces get carried out for years and years and that’s without allegations of abuse and no custody involved. Depending on your area, the hourly fee for an attorney will vary and this might also dictate the initial retainer they will need to take on your case. You can go online and read all about how many cases drag out for 3-5 years, and even more when custody is involved. Hope this helps.

jimsmythee · 2023-10-10T19:30:41+00:00

$5k for me and $5k for her, and we had to go to trial. AZ divorced aren’t bad, because the courts don’t allow the shenanigans that other states allow that will prolong a divorce case.

pk2at · 2023-10-10T20:55:56+00:00

1) If you two agree on everything a few hundred dollars

2) If you hide assets, it depends on how much she is willing to spend, you will spend a few hundred dollars

3) If she hides assets, it will depend on how much you are willing to spend (expect $50K+)

4) If you disagree on everything, you can expect about 10% of your net worth to go up in smoke (in addition to > 50% going to your wife)

5) If there are trusts involved or anything offshore, expect to spend > $1M in case of disputes

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2023-10-10T21:35:28+00:00

Kids being out of the equation is a huge plus. You can likely get this done cheap (under $10k) if she’s ok with a 50/50 split. Stay away from arguing over physical assets like arguing over the value of a car or a sofa and you should be fine. Take the L early on physical stuff and hold your ground on financial assets.

SJ530 · 2023-10-10T21:47:08+00:00

Most unfortunately do not get the opportunity to get 3 quotes from lawyers and pick the one that is most value for money.

Examples of what attorneys can charge you: 10 percent add-on if you use a credit card to pay. They bill you $50 per text message, yes $50 per txt eg you replied to attorney ' ok, thank you ' They read that message on a Friday evening.....you sent the txt on Friday morning. They charge by min 5 or 10 min

It is nearly impossible to get a solid quotation from attorney though. There be hidden costs

hpsportsfanatic · 2023-10-10T22:36:43+00:00

9k mediator represented both of us basically. (Technically neither of us) but filed the paperwork and explained the laws to us

captainchippsixx · 2023-10-10T22:52:29+00:00

See if you can use a solid mediator. Costs less. Unless you think she will be hard to deal with.

occoptionplaya · 2023-10-11T15:42:41+00:00

$160k and still going. Try to go through a small attorney, the firms really rape you. For context, my current attorney has billed me about 70k for the past 12 months of services. The large family law firm charged me $55k in 2 months. They are crooks and shady fuckers, be careful.

Ever-learning271 · 2023-10-10T20:20:51+00:00

In all, $6000 here for legal but the Divorce cost me more in settlement; no Alimony or child support-helps that we mediated but she stretched it out some. (MA-USA)

Least_Attorney9006 · 2023-10-10T20:58:02+00:00

There is only one way to tell if your divorce is going to expensive or not. Is your ex crazy or have they turned crazy?

If your ex goes into it refusing to compromise, fighting everything, just assume that it will be expensive.

It doesn’t matter how much you want to negotiate. If your ex won’t do it, there is nothing you can do, save for just giving in to their insanity.

My ex refuses (I’ve been at this three years, with $200k spent so far on my side alone) to settle for anything other than “she gets everything, and I get nothing.” She also files motion after motion which delays things for months on end.

If your ex is insane, there is not much you can do to stop the bleeding.

aquatic-dreams · 2023-10-10T21:48:48+00:00

5k she paid it. Fuck she left me, she should. We didn't really fight about anything, she makes a lot more than I do. Fuck it, it's done.

caligrown84 · 2023-10-10T22:28:08+00:00

2 years later and still not divorced. Spent about $70k fighting DVRO. Worth it though as I have full custody of the kids. Hopefully divorce is faster and cheaper.

S0mewhere_In_Between · 2023-10-10T22:29:49+00:00

I'm a year and a half and 15kto attorney in and still have another couple months to go. I had mediations, guardian ad litem stuff(additional 4k separate bill), private investigator (3.5k separate bill) and custody stuff.

mrclark121 · 2023-10-11T01:05:26+00:00

All said and done not counting the popcorn and large drink. 20K. The lawyer is 5K just to sign on. Ask that sack of shit a question. Donuts to dollars they say " hold that thought 1 moment." Their not tying their fucking shoe their hitting the client clock.

AdvancedAd3507 · 2023-10-11T05:07:20+00:00

$10k so far. Been to court already once and have another hearing in a few months. Probably the last one, but divorce is never over. She'll sue me for the rest of my life I'm sure.

Salty-Rutabaga-3329 · 2023-10-11T15:59:09+00:00

30k. 2 years.

Two grown kids. House. 401ks. Should have been simple. Ex enjoyed drama and driving up costs.

It's a roll of the dice. Lawyers, exes, and outcomes are as unique as snowflakes.

techrmd3 · 2023-10-10T19:38:01+00:00

I depends (I know I know let me explain)

If EVERYTHING (assets, children, parental rights etc etc) are determined by the court not the Hubs and Wifey... 300k is probably not too far off the mark

if you and wifey poo can agree on a few things then it's easier

My advice is to offer wifey a higher percentage and spouse support for quick resolution assets and spouse support

In general if the woman has competent counsel and is not crazy, a great deal can get a quick resolution

To me it's worth 5 % extra assets, 1-2k extra in spousal support limited to 5 years or less vs 6 months of additional litigation (with you paying both sides)

your situation maybe different this is the route I advise all my friends to take.

playerknowmore · 2023-10-10T19:40:21+00:00

Could you wait and get her to move to Florida for a year?

whiskey_piker · 2023-10-11T00:27:08+00:00

Which state, how many years married, how many kids, is STBX a SAHM or employed, how much do you earn annually, any significant assets (houses, stocks, art, retirement)?

In Oregon w/ a 17yr marriage and employed Ex, two children (M10, F14), and a $300K house, my salary ~$130K, her salary ~$50K - we settled out of court even though we had attorneys - the divorce process cost about $8K and much of that because my Ex literally skipped the first court date ($1500 alone for my attny to drive there and back).

Going to court the second time cost me $10K cash when she sued me a few years later after the kids disowned her because she was an emotionally abusive, narcissistic piece of shit. The female judge blasted her and upheld full custody to me and critically modified the parenting time so that the kids would only see her if they and their therapist agreed it was a good idea.

Alright_So · 2023-10-11T01:00:59+00:00

Where in the world are you? Different things cost differently in different places

prepend · 2023-10-11T01:36:57+00:00

I suspect it’s a percentage of divisible assets.

There’s so many factors where I’ve read about bitterly contested divorces that cost $10k and ones that cost $100k.

I don’t know if it’s ever knowable but I suspect that it’s always about 10-20% of assets (eg, if there’s $500k available to pay lawyers it will cost $50-100k total from both sides; but if there’s only $25k then it only costs $2-5k total both sides).

WartimeDad · 2023-10-11T02:46:36+00:00

It is directly proportional to how contentious she is going to make it.

wakablahh · 2023-10-11T03:38:31+00:00

$0, Florida. I really compromised with my ex (no kids) everything, and I helped out a bit too furnishing her new place, but I really wanted to avoid alimony, etc.

My friends saw it as giving her a “princess exit” , but I saw it as moving on, no strings attached.

rsmiley77 · 2023-10-11T10:58:43+00:00

I went as far as one can go. I had an independent lawyer who was suggested to me. In my opinion, my divorce included

moderate to low back and fourth on physical custody

-moderate number of motions to the judge (I believe four but maybe five of these)

-moderate time spent hammering out custody payments

-moderate time spent on discovery

-low amount of time discussing final settlement (way far apart)

-heavy time spent on a day and a half in court before a court appointed Master going over all financials and topics for Master to decide how to split up assets

Overall this cost me between 22k-26k. That’s just the money I handed over to my attorney and nothing else. Crazy that I feel like it was a bargain compared to what the ex was asking for.

Title	Divorce costs
Author	Sea-Bluebird-1678
Upvotes	9
Comments	34
Date	October 10, 2023 6:20 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/174s3l5/divorce_costs/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/divorce-costs.1234652 https://theredarchive.com/post/1234652

Comments