Do women really love differently?

probebeta · 2025-06-29T09:32:43+00:00

Only women, children and dogs are loved unconditionally -- Chris rock. Learn from this.

Il_Valentino · 2025-06-26T07:18:12+00:00

Men are not loved for what they are, they are loved for what they provide. There's no inherent value seen in us, that's why phrases like "women and children first" are even a thing. We love by protecting and providing for our loved ones. The other side views us more like a status object to brag about to their friends and wants to feel special. Look at Japan, how do people compensate for their lack of love? Some men compensate by projecting their love even on body pillows because male love has to go outwards. On the other hand the other gender literally marries itself because their love was about how they feel about themselves.

So yes, we are not built the same.

ShaunyP_OKC · 2025-06-25T18:27:50+00:00

I think what I've learned is you should love yourself first and create your own life that you love and are proud of. I do not believe that men should just willingly give commitment because a girl is a good lay and fun to hang out and let's be real--80% of them are only really good for that anyways.

northdakotact · 2025-06-25T16:15:55+00:00

Woman like to "take" love, they do not like to return it.

upvotersfortruth · 2025-06-25T08:58:41+00:00

my wife abruptly left me over a phone call.

Rest assured it was only abrupt from your perspective, not hers. For her there was a straw that broke the camel's back. Sadly, she never let you know about the camel, and certainly not about it's back strain.

Ready-Tomatillo7645 · 2025-06-24T23:31:49+00:00

Not me. My biggest mistake was thinking he saw things as I did. That we would get to our issues after we dealt with housing/job security and other goals we agreed upon and then he was out.

I’m doing everything to get my family back together. My commitment is forever. We have a son together and weren’t married just engaged. He wanted a big wedding while I wanted to save that money for a home and then I’d plan something small.

Mymindisgone217 · 2025-06-24T23:08:16+00:00

Be careful with believing over generalized statements about something being one way for everyone.

Take your time to read through other articles to find other opinions on things. While what the article you read my be true in for some people, that doesn't mean that it is for everyone.

Different people have different ways that they experience and show love.

You could set up a viewing of one romance film with an audience of women and ask them all to write down how they saw love being expressed in the film. You most likely are going to get different answers from them. You will find that some are focused on small romantic gestures, with another group focused the monetary value of things given or done. And other might be focused on the quality of the time spent together.

These are all ways that people can judge someone's love for them. Woman or man.

woahbrad35 · 2025-06-24T21:50:37+00:00

Future advice if you do get back out there, hypotheticals like that are not healthy behaviors. Huge red flag

CRobinsFly · 2025-06-24T19:21:57+00:00

It isn't complicated. It took me years to really come to terms with it, including dating additional women after: women's romantic love for you is always, always conditional. You may never become aware of the terms, but they were there. For most though, it's what you provide/how you make them feel.

Women are only loyal to their feelings (I believe that's a CGA-coined term).

I'm not telling you not to "love" again, but I can't. Even years later I am still stuck on the resentment aspect of how I was objectified and used by someone who I thought loved me, but she was only with me to suit her sole desires and needs - "have a kid with someone who would be unlikely to be able to oppose me having sole custody whilst always making more than me on paper so he'd always owe chile support." Joke's on her, if anything I am thankful she isnt a broke bitch, so once I finally get to 5050 custody, the CS I owe her is truly tiny.

Anyway, now I accept being alone. Occasionally, I have some fun by roaring raw into women with baby rabies (with blanks of course) who are trying to trick/deceive me the same way my ex did. Pseudo revenge fantasy? Maybe. Once it comes time to commit to them and put resources on the line though? I just essentially ghost them or pick a similar fight to what they'd do to cause a breakup. It really is thrilling when they ask you to see a fertility specialist after a few months because theirs says they should be pregnant by now 😀.

Cufflock · 2025-06-24T19:02:19+00:00

A man loves a woman for what she is, a woman loves how she feels about a man and how she feels doesn’t require any realistic or logical reason to change. It is a fact that women love differently from men.

I recommend you to read “The manipulated man” by Esther Vilar.

warwww · 2025-06-24T17:44:10+00:00

The more you try to answer this the more you are giving it power. There are scores of loyal women out there who value men who value relationships who value keeping their families in tact and on the other hand there are many who value having lots of sexual partners etc.

Do not dwell on this, just as there are crap men, there are crap women. Where you may be stubbing your toe is the premise ingrained in you that one sex is without blemish and pure… this is simply not the case. Look at the stories of women who have zero issue having their kids around felons, having them call other men dad…the list goes on.

Just find an actually decent woman.

If she wants to leave you must help her leave and find one that wants to stay.

If a person wants to. they will.

Stop feeding into the delirium.

streetsmartwallaby · 2025-06-24T17:36:16+00:00

What was the phone call about? I feel like that’s a pretty crucial piece of information.

If you were calling to solicit prostitutes? Bragging to your mates about the woman you met at the bar? Speaking with a banker about all your overdue loans? Your dad about moving in with you?

Seems odd she’d get this worked up over a phone call alone.

MonarchistExtreme · 2025-06-24T17:29:21+00:00

not all, but quite a few in the modern era have a very shallow view of what love is. For a lot of men, love is a choice, decision, commitment...almost like a profession they dedicate themselves to. Sometimes the emotions and sentiment lack but persevere out of a sense of honor. Women don't really have an honor culture the way men do. (yes there are tons of exceptions, men who lack honor but none of us want to be them so cast them aside for the time being). Women, aren't expected to have the same degree of personal honor, they are usually forgiven much easier than men are and that's partly why we have so many jokes about female accountability. (there are great women out there though that this doesn't apply to, its just none of us married them).

The shallow women I'm referring to though, love you the way they love a new Ariana Grande song, or a new pair of shoes. In that moment, it's very real (to them) and fulfilling but it doesn't last bc they will spot a new pair of shoes at the mall or hear a new song they love more.

I think a good deal of our heartache is we project how we experience love onto them and it hurts us to know they could do the things they do to us, given they said they loved us. and we know how we feel in our love for them.

Expert-Raccoon6097 · 2025-06-24T17:23:47+00:00

Women are of course wired differently, but the red pill narrative that for them love is transactional is complete BS.

There is no blindsiding, modern men just don't have the tools to understand how women communicate. Women do not discard at a moments notice, it comes after a few years of communication from them (which men are clueless to for the most part) that they are unhappy.

The phone call was just the straw that broke the camels back, she was unhappy for a long time.

For future relationships make it a priority to check in with each other every month. Create a safe space for both of you to communicate what your wants and needs are for that season of life (they will change dramatically over time). Most don't do this and as a result resentments build over time, there is no clear and direct communication, and a woman will not stay in a miserable relationship like us guys will that's for sure (we could learn a thing or two from them).

pk2at · 2025-06-24T17:23:26+00:00

This has been true since the time of apes. Females always mate for security and protection. Men sign up to protect their home and family, not to tolerate bad behavior from females. For past 100 or so years, men have been denied right to kick out females for bad behavior.

frogmicky · 2025-06-24T17:21:11+00:00

Wow I felt the same way going into my marriage that it was "Until death do us part " I guess not.

SteveSan82 · 2025-06-24T17:07:21+00:00

Men value love. Women love value. Disney lied

Far_Cantaloupe2461 · 2025-06-24T16:56:37+00:00

There are a lot of people, both men and women, that are wired like this. It’s not so much a gender thing as it is a symptom of a society that’s become overrun with narcissists.

Slowloris81 · 2025-06-24T16:47:04+00:00

I don’t think these generalizations are fair or helpful. We just have to be more cautious going forward about dating someone with shared values.

Paddle_Pedal_Puddle · 2025-06-24T16:46:15+00:00

Hint: if a woman asks you a question like “would you leave me if I got cancer?” then she isn’t marriage material.

Title	Do women really love differently?
Author	StatisticianOld8246
Upvotes	59
Comments	42
Date	June 24, 2025 4:31 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ljfsho/do_women_really_love_differently/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/do-women-really-love-differently.1555453 https://theredarchive.com/post/1555453

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