Been thinking more about my marriage lately and was wondering if you guys were in similar situations. My wife gave me an ultimatum to blow up our awesome life in NYC to move to her midwestern hometown and buy her a house. When we got there, I shouldered most of the work while she got high, hung out with her friends, or was on her phone. When I tried to discuss behavior of hers that bothered me or express that I needed more, she started hitting me with:

“You’re controlling.”

“Respect is earned”

“You’ve tainted every major event in my life”

“You’re fucking delusional”

“I’m only reacting to things you do”

“Providing for me is literally the bare minimum.”

“You aren’t wired in a way to be capable of a healthy relationship”

“I shouldn’t have to tell you what I need”

“You’re a bad person”

It was like she was goading me for a reaction and I wouldn’t give it to her. I thought I just needed to soldier on through this, but I did lose my temper and say some regrettable things back in the past after getting this treatment over and over and I own it. I tried to gray rock when she’d fly off the handle and she’d accuse me of silent treatment, I really couldn’t win.

Now she’s gone, I’m enjoying the calm, peace, and solitude. My cortisol is the lowest it’s been in years and I’m enjoying not having to argue constantly. I’m not sure if I’ll ever get into another relationship, were any of you guys in situations like this? I’m afraid that all women just become this way when they get comfortable, and never want to be in a situation like that again.