Does it ever get better with a narcissist?

Spodee5 · 2023-03-25T03:18:05+00:00

5 years out 50/50 parenting. It has not gotten better

HODLMEPLS · 2023-03-25T02:25:18+00:00

Mine too! I just started my divorce process after 16 years of marriage and 2 kids. I can’t take the abuse anymore. I told her I’m not discussing emotions etc unless she’s in therapy and there is couples therapy. Not sure that would even help but it’s my low contact for now. For her own sake I hope she gets it together. But I’m wondering if she ever will. Curious to hear

Dramatic-Ad7192 · 2023-03-25T03:56:49+00:00

Nope and they’ll gaslight you all day. Just cut them off.

dday_throwaway3 · 2023-03-25T09:05:09+00:00

She won't chill out until menopause.

This book will provide you some tools and relief: "Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder".

upvotersfortruth · 2023-03-25T05:54:03+00:00

You have to get better, they won’t. Stoicism, minimal communications, and not taking the bait. The game I play with myself is trying to guess whether whatever she’s saying will be the annoying way coverts indirectly make it all about them or her victimhood - sometimes both!

stilltrying2run2 · 2023-03-25T04:34:45+00:00

5 years out for me. Nope.

LongWalksAtSunrise · 2023-03-25T04:35:42+00:00

I’m still waiting for mine to get better. I’m resigned that it never will. Move forward and live your life. Be the best father you can be. Ignore that crazy b!@tch

AudreyTooTwo · 2023-03-25T04:55:38+00:00

From my own experience, I'd say a lot depends on their budget for lawyers and willingness to abuse the courts, too. Sure, a hard-core narcissist can create a lot of damage even without a lawyer.

But, with a lawyer, it's a nightmare. My ex-wife has a rich mom who can outspend me if I ever try to get any relief with the courts. I told her once she's like a monkey with a machine gun. And it's true. Someone who's petty, selfish, short-sighted, destructive, careless and clueless -- with a fully-automatic rifle. That's a dangerous person. VIDEO from our last hearing.

simjanes2k · 2023-03-25T05:34:54+00:00

Just checking again to say everyone is a narcissist in divorce, and no it does not get better.

david10277 · 2023-03-25T07:05:48+00:00

Narcissist require supply Zero communication If kids minimum thru email

No they dont fix themselves it requires meds and therapy . Narcissist people had child hood trauma

minilabthrow · 2023-03-25T18:04:13+00:00

scorched earth. My marrigae to her cost me millions and I have two junior narcs who won't speak to me.

I finally got child support and college tuition terminated, so that's good.

But generally narcs are hell bent on destroying you ideally with the victim choosing suicide.

Nonamesfound · 2023-03-26T02:00:37+00:00

Nope…. Just gray rock them and try not to stress about it.

It will probably get worse too…. Narcissists typically are very very vain and shallow…most have gotten by with their bullshit and manipulation because of their looks.

Once that starts fading…. She will start dramatically losing any “power” she has/had over people.

This will cause her to become even worse and bitter especially once she sees you winning at life with an attractive new GF.

Salad_Panda · 2023-03-25T07:43:38+00:00

Calling someone a narcissist is just victimhood 101. Be a man, analyze what you did wrong, avoid doing it again, and move on.

You get no points for litigating in your mind a past relationship. Go and do something instead. Onwards, always.

Jbr74 · 2023-03-25T05:12:14+00:00

Nope

WildestWaltz · 2023-03-25T05:23:57+00:00

And the fact they would never believe if anyone is sharing their traits with them. It is tiring to deal with it and you always feel bound.

Objective_Problem_90 · 2023-03-25T06:40:47+00:00

If you have kids. No. 2 years after divorce and I'm still dealing with her crapm

Dangerous_Item_6879 · 2023-03-25T11:48:45+00:00

The short answer is no. They are not capable of change.

They get dopamine hits if they can trigger a reaction from you whether it is positive or negative.

I’ve learned that you cannot control what they are going to say or do. All you can control is how much ‘you give them’ in emotional conversation and how you respond to their ridiculous commentary and behavior.

relationshiptossoutt · 2023-03-25T13:21:17+00:00

My ex still tries to make me miserable, but we’re divorced now so I have full control over whether she’s successful or not.

I applied very clear and non-negotiable boundaries. She’s tried yelling at me a few times, on the phone or in person. I just calmly say, “I won’t be spoken to like that. This conversation is over.” Then I walk away or hang up. If she sends me an aggressive text that is meant to get me riled up, I just ignore it and don’t reply to it and it’s out of my head a few minutes later.

I am quite lucky. The only thing she could really do anymore to get an emotional rise out of me is weaponize the kids, the schedule, my interactions with them, etc. She has not done any of that.

The rest of her shit is easy to manage and ignore. Her behavior hasn’t really changed, but my reaction to it has changed a lot.

jimsmythee · 2023-03-25T15:28:55+00:00

Yes, I divorced the pill popper narcissist. Everything was always about her, how no one was helping her, everyone needed to do more, because she was the Victim.

It took her getting knocked off her high horse quite a few times. She didn't get any alimony. She didn't get full custody. I kept my house.

Then her re-marriage turned into re-divorce after 6 months. Then she moved in with her parents.

It took years for her to realize this.

For me, life got better. I focused on new relationships and later on my new marriage. I focused on my job. I focused on my kids.

xjeeperx · 2023-03-26T02:46:39+00:00

Only if they get a new supply and you 100% cut off yourself as a supply. They get bored with grey rocks.

1manChanging · 2023-03-27T00:10:25+00:00

I don’t know if mine is a narcissist. I know her mother is. And I see a lot of similarities with her. I suffered from it for the past 5 years. I tricked myself in thinking it would get better. Again and again. Therapy after therapy. Pill after pill. Recently she tried to commit suicide after a discussion due to her physical aggressiveness towards our daughter. I saved her on the last minute. She blamed me for it. I’ve been abused for so long that I am at my limit.

I don’t know what’s going to follow. My advice is that you don’t wait until you feel miserable to put an end to it. The only reason I waited so long was because I have an adorable child who I wanted to avoid putting through a miserable divorce. And now I know it will be much worse than if I did it 1, 2, 3 years ago.

Edit: sorry. re-reading I now realise you have already separated. I hope things get better. I honestly don’t know how can my situation get any worse than if I stay.

TitansTaint · 2023-03-27T04:24:32+00:00

No. 7 years later she still fucks with me. New husband and new kid yet I'm still the favorite toy. I hope y'all don't have kids. I told her I won't even speak with her until she gets into trauma therapy, emails only until then.

Title	Does it ever get better with a narcissist?
Author	Least_Attorney9006
Upvotes	18
Comments	30
Date	March 25, 2023 1:40 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1216f5x/does_it_ever_get_better_with_a_narcissist/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/does-it-ever-get-better-with-a-narcissist.1187983 https://theredarchive.com/post/1187983

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