Her new BF

joelhuebner · 2024-02-18T18:23:33+00:00

Thank you all for you ideas, suggestions, comments. About what I'd expected. TY VM

DivorceRecoveryMen · 2024-02-17T16:48:00+00:00

Easy answer... leave it alone and move on with your life. Take all that energy and use it for being the best father you can be. Let that shit go. Because you really have no control what goes on at her house and you'll go crazy thinking about it or trying to.

Masypha · 2024-02-16T04:12:52+00:00

You seem to be in your ego... and that's okay as long as you want to change.

If you truly love(d) her then let her go.

Focus on yourself, this incident was a test for you and you chose to go down the rabbit hole which is now picking at you, i.e. your ego.

Are you focusing on yourself by traveling, reading, learning a new language, working out, teaching, etc?? You have all that knowledge for I.T. then you can make use of it by teaching others how to financially flourish. Seek therapy too, whether spiritual or scientific, heal from your wounds and move on bro.

cactuscharlie · 2024-02-16T01:12:33+00:00

What difference does it make? She's not your girl anymore.

Look, we all hate it. But at the end if the day, She's not your girl anymore.

MaitreGrandiose · 2024-02-16T00:12:10+00:00

Is your username your real name? You need to DELET

nyghtrider · 2024-02-15T23:03:15+00:00

Dude I’m in IT and love the challenge of finding data but this is creepy at this time and spiteful unless the kids are in jeapardy. Let it go

Substantial-Spinach3 · 2024-02-15T22:06:48+00:00

Any grandkids that he may gain access to? You might worn your own children, if this is the case. Please nail down all facts first!

jkw118 · 2024-02-15T21:46:13+00:00

So unless you have kids who would be with her sometimes. I wouldnt.. If their are kids involved its you watching out for your kids. I usually insist on a background check if shes going to have the guy over when the kids are staying with her.

Ok-Cicada5911 · 2024-02-15T21:44:02+00:00

Ego and a sense of ownership are red flags.

No one uses WordPerfect any more. Amateur websites are written by amatures. Looking up court documents on a court document website isn't difficult. It's almost like it was designed for that purpose.

You need to find a new hobby.

Mountain_Collar_7620 · 2024-02-15T21:01:00+00:00

No. You stay on the high ground and let the “lady” earn the just rewards of her actions in due course. Prepare popcorn 🍿.

No longer your Monkey. 🐵 it branched 🌿

stacksmasher · 2024-02-15T20:55:56+00:00

Mind your business... she will find out soon enough.

MidniteOG · 2024-02-15T20:48:32+00:00

Idk what to tell you, but do you want to do some work for me?

Thrownaway_marriage · 2024-02-15T20:42:18+00:00

I mean, if she got an anonymous package with documentation of his DV convictions, thats just by chance. A lot of people will say not to involve yourself, but personally I think of it as looking out for your kids. If she's aware and continues to see him, then that's on her.

lifeisallihave · 2024-02-15T20:35:27+00:00

Walk away and try to let go.

Fwooply · 2024-02-15T20:35:22+00:00

You're definitely in the wrong lane.

And just a bit of warning. If doxxing spills out to his work, not good. The courts here go absolutely apeshit if one party threatens the career or financial well being of another party.

rsmiley77 · 2024-02-15T20:12:28+00:00

She’s not your concern anymore. Let it go. Stop comparing years and acting like she’s your property.

Your ONLY concern in this is that your kids and grandkids are ok. If you have grandkids that are around him then you should have a sit down with your ex and tell her what you know. Tell her she should tell your kids about his past. If she doesn’t that you will to make sure your kids kids are ok. They may still feel it’s fine or they may not.

RichardCleveland · 2024-02-15T19:52:15+00:00

Sigh... You are going to drive yourself insane.

Why would you call his ex? Are you trying to get the "dirt" on this guy? What are you even going to say "hey, I don't like this guy, here's his record and transcript from his ex, you guys need to breakup!". They have been dating for 3 years already so I highly doubt she will do anything but become defensive, and probably think you are crazy.

dday_throwaway3 · 2024-02-15T19:48:33+00:00

You're allowing her to rent space in your head. It's time to evict her.

Stop following her on social media too.

Joocewayne · 2024-02-15T19:38:40+00:00

Did you file or did she? Just curious.

I think it would be worth examining your motivations. As in, go deeper than she’s the mother of your children and you still like her.

What outcome would you most like occurring if you sent her an anonymous letter?

What will this outcome accomplish, for her and for yourself?

This kind of stuff is best done with a therapist of some kind. A good one who can ask the right questions and get the blinders off.

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2024-02-15T19:27:11+00:00

Unless your kids are younger and he’s a potential threat to them I’m not sure anything good will come of this.

She will likely get mad and think you’re stalking her life, which you basically are. Also if he’s a loose cannon (3 convictions would indicate he is) the last thing you want is him after you.

fishingforthought · 2024-02-15T19:18:30+00:00

Stay out of her business. Not your circus.

AffectionateAd6060 · 2024-02-15T19:09:14+00:00

With all do respect. Not your problem. How old are your kids? If over 15.. Not your problem.

Title	Her new BF
Author	joelhuebner
Upvotes	17
Comments	48
Date	February 15, 2024 6:59 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1arn4fq/her_new_bf/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/her-new-bf.1245495 https://theredarchive.com/post/1245495

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