Good day everyone,
I've been lurking here for the last while, and decided to use a burner account to share my story and get some outside perspective on my odd situation.
Context: Mid 40s male, wife late 30s and two toddlers. Married for 5+ years. Have a house in a market that exploded to the point we'd never be able to buy in again. Pretty good paying jobs. Wife just went back to work from parental leave.

Marriage has been really good up until mid last year. Wife was very, very anxious and nervous about going back to work, having kids in daycare, etc, and was pretty exhausted each day. Suddenly she didn't want any flirting, cuddles or affection because she was "touched out" from the kids; which I completely understand. Sex life tanked to once every month if I'm lucky at that point... I really wanted to support her, so I leaned into making sure I doubled down on all the regular things I already do, so increased all my chores, making dinners, setting up date nights, cleaning, etc, etc. AKA super dad mode. Told her I'm here to support her and will not initiate sex, even though I'd love to, and will ask with compassion if she needs a hug or snuggles or whatever at night to not put any pressure on her.

Skip ahead to today; she's back to work, kids are doing great in daycare, but I notice she's now exercising all the time, dieting like crazy etc, etc which is good, but she's also not making any effort/time for us, so I carefully bring up that I'd like to work together like we chatted from mid/late last year to invest in us and prioritize the romance and time together, now that things have calmed more. I brought up massage night (no sex but where I actually give her full body massages again, etc), use vacation days while kids are away just to do more fun stuff together, carve out more sexy time, and basically anything I can do to keep that spark happy.

That's when she hits me with with a cold response: "I think you're the best dad ever, best husband and I love you, but I am not romantically into you anymore, don't think counselling will help but I will be going anyways on my own. I am preparing for the worst and think a divorce is inevitable" she then has me stay in the basement. I had to set some boundaries up because it was super strange that she'd still say I love you each day, but pat me on the arm and kiss my hair, all of which was not cool when someone guts you like that.

About me, I'm a tall, good looking dude that has also been exercising like a fiend to lose any dad bod weight since December, have my diet on point, no drinking and am a positive guy.

She's said she has no idea why she feels this way (I've not done anything and she has no feedback on what I could do better), but she will attend 4 session with her councilor over a month then tell me what she's going to do....

I'm absolutely devastated by this shock, and am finding it extremely difficult at night to pull it together the next day so I'm a rock for my kids. She says she's not having an affair, of which I honestly 90% believe.

Honestly, I have no idea what the hell is going on, other than my life suddenly ended as I know it, and I don't know why.