Summer is the loneliest time?

Square-Choice-3672 · 2025-07-06T03:43:10+00:00

Summer is the best time I think. Get in shape and get out there and meet people. I found winter to be the worst time as no hugs etc end of the day. Separated about 18 months also.

roshi-roshi · 2025-07-06T03:06:03+00:00

Yes. My kids, Ex and her family are on the summer mountain trip. I miss it so much. Miss my kids, brothers in law, hiking, my ex. My friend emailed me and said he saw her. She told him we were divorced like it was no big deal. And I’m ‘home’ literally falling apart. Somehow I have to move on.

Better-Pizza-6119 · 2025-07-04T18:19:10+00:00

No advice friend, I hear you.

Eric_C_Productions · 2025-07-04T01:28:54+00:00

Two words.... ROAD TRIP! Take time for yourself. Treat yourself. Go do something that you haven't done before. You are free and do something spontaneous. Something you couldn't do when you were married with kids. Pick up a hobby.

Fluffy_Afternoon652 · 2025-07-03T21:06:45+00:00

Seperated for 3 years divorced for one year. People say it gets better but for me, every day is a struggle. I'm isolated and alone and every day I wake up I don't want to be alive. Tried dating but it's hard since I come across as very depressed. I lay in bed until noon most days, work from bed and home, workout daily and repeat. Like the groundhogs day from hell.

Business_Guava3329 · 2025-07-03T15:26:15+00:00

I feel you on this, except for me, it's year-round.

My ex makes $30k/yr more than me, and her whole gigantic family is here. I can support myself and my little one with some treats here and there (new clothes, new toys, brunch, movies), but I always feel out-done because of the support network she claims is "oh-so bad". I can't really go outside my current city due to gas prices and potential auto repairs I really can't afford right now.

I'm grateful to make the most I can with what I have, but have to admit I'll be way better off when my family across the country pass and I gain more means to support us.

Until then, I'm content only spending my birthday and Father's Day with my little one (my ex constantly ruined any days special to me, even while together). At least holidays we coordinate on and she ensures I get time with our 4-y.o., but it's just not the same as having holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas with a bigger family like she has.

askingforafreddit · 2025-07-03T00:55:16+00:00

A family isn't necessarily two parents and a child. By the same token, two parents and a child doesn't necessarily make a family. So, maybe change the way you frame your idea of what your family was, and what it could be. That may help with the feeling of love, or lack of it.

That said, I think that the summer season hits particularly hard for us in the more northern climes (Chicago here) for obvious reasons. But summer was great before the deck and the yard and the parties, right? Those things you don't or can't have any more aren't what make summer great, and the things that do are still out there. For me, it's the liveliness of the city's neighborhoods, community events, outdoor concerts, perfect motorcycling days, and yeah maybe meeting someone new who's also feeling the serotonin high of summer. I'm not sure what it is for you, but consider trying to find those instead of what you're doing now.

tysonmiller · 2025-07-03T00:08:11+00:00

I feel ya. Summer definitely hits me the hardest.

Economy_Plan4976 · 2025-07-02T23:43:07+00:00

Just wait for Christmas season. That's the real deal.

ciscokid12345 · 2025-07-02T23:28:09+00:00

You are grieving the loss of your past life and that’s very normal. It’s sad to close one chapter and scary to begin a new one.

But you are lacking imagination right now to visualize what your new life journey is going to look like. You get a chance to craft a brand new life that aligns with your true individual identity. How exciting is that?!?

Start rock climbing, join a garage band, fill your living room with baseball memorabilia, hike all the tallest mountains in your state, or travel to Italy. The only limitation in this life is your own constraints.

Summer is awesome! I just took the kids camping in my new rv three weekends in a row in the Sierras. Teaching my oldest to fly fish and drive stick in my old jeep. Next month I’m leaving the kids and going to burning man for two weeks with my skinny hippie girlfriend and a flock of feral sexually liberated gorgeous and mostly naked girl friends.

Point being, It gets better!

BackpackJack_ · 2025-07-02T22:22:57+00:00

Summer, Christmas, your birthday, and the list goes on. The first year after I got divorced was when I spent the loneliest birthday ever. It sucks, really, how the day you’ve been looking forward to and had the best memories of is suddenly the worst. Christmas and New Year's were even more of a struggle because people were spending them with their respective families. Some friends offered to let me crash at their house for the night, to do the countdown and all that. But I didn’t want to intrude on their family moment. It was me and my beer stash against the world.

tribal-chief556 · 2025-07-02T21:58:32+00:00

Personally I found this past winter excruciating. Ex wife broke the news that she wanted a divorce right before my birthday in November & right before the holidays. This past winter almost broke me.

yourbrotherdavid · 2025-07-02T21:17:51+00:00

I'm currently at lake house with my STBXW, our son, another couple and their daughter - surrounded by people and have never felt so lonely!

Boliviascott · 2025-07-02T20:57:41+00:00

I suggest getting out of you house and going somewhere. Say take a weekend camping trip. Just get in the car and drive to somewhere new. Sitting in that same apt or house will bring you down. Ive been there brother. It gets better believe me no matter how dark it is now

Minnietron88 · 2025-07-02T19:44:09+00:00

We're at the start of the divorce, still living together. We have no plans for 4th of July. He said he might go to a work party at the beach and may take our son (leaving me with daughter). I said I didn't have plans and that it'd be nice if we could have a few memories left of all of us together during the holidays while we're still living under the same roof. So fucking sad. I hate this for me and my kids. I feel angry sometimes at my spouse for wanting this divorce.

BlueHarvest17 · 2025-07-02T18:08:39+00:00

We're not even divorced yet and still living together and I find the summer difficult.

Peace_and_Love40 · 2025-07-02T17:46:27+00:00

I’m recently separated and calling this the Summer of George! However I am already dreading the holidays.

Expert-Raccoon6097 · 2025-07-02T17:31:46+00:00

That's what summer romances are for my man. Go find a hottie in a sexy sundress and have fun when you're not stuck in dad mode.

Firstborn3 · 2025-07-02T17:11:51+00:00

Yeah I’m kinda finding that too. This is my first summer as a single Dad. A lot of my friends are busy with vacations and doing activities with their still intact families. So I find myself a bit bored on the days I don’t have my kids.

Known_Paramedic_2967 · 2025-07-02T17:02:31+00:00

I feel the exact same way. I don’t have children. I have 2 dogs, but I am still starved for social interaction.

blinkyvx · 2025-07-02T16:37:28+00:00

nah winter, but i do have a dog i keep occupied with.

f-ranke · 2025-07-02T15:35:16+00:00

I can totally understand you in the first summer it was almost the same for me.

Try to visit friends or family and do something with them.

And on the second note, I trie to do it like Keanu Reeves, who is completely good with being on his own.

6StringFiend · 2025-07-02T15:35:00+00:00

I feel the same. Still going through the process and I feel pretty lonely. All the things we’d plan in summer or just sitting outside, fire pit, cooking on the grill, rides on the motorcycle. Plus all my friends families have younger kids so they’re pretty busy and seems like no one has time to do much. I really hope to get out of this slump but lately it all focuses around meeting out at a bar. Focusing on hobby’s is ok for like an hour then I get bored. I keep hearing how my new life is going to change and be so much better. Therapy helps for a few days with my confidence then it slowly goes back to feeling alone.

Tasty_Dinner6530 · 2025-07-02T15:31:40+00:00

Hey man I feel you completely and this past weekend was particularly tough. I can’t even imagine how much you must miss your family and the moments you shared with them.

I have been in this spot where I felt alone. A few things helped me 1. Took up reading 2. Spend time with my guy friends 3. Found activities to do with strangers 4. Start making my meals

Although all of it hasn’t solved my loneliness it makes me feel optimistic about having control over my own life which wasn’t there a few months ago. I still struggle but this is what I have told myself to fall back on in case I feel overwhelmed.

Title	Summer is the loneliest time?
Author	electromattic
Upvotes	30
Comments	31
Date	July 2, 2025 3:13 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1lpyffe/summer_is_the_loneliest_time/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/summer-is-the-loneliest-time.1556156 https://theredarchive.com/post/1556156

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