Today I Realised

curtdogg47 · 2026-03-27T20:17:40+00:00

Go to work on you! Hang in there! It’s dark today, if you can consistently take care of you, eventually you will see a light!

Tough_Jackfruit_7161 · 2026-03-26T11:00:46+00:00

I have felt these feelings too, what heled me was finding a way to accept that sex was part of my past and try to focus on leaving that and the possibility of a future relationship behind. I try to put those thoughts in a box in my mind and deal with what I can be positive about. Won't lie though it was painful for a long time.

BeaconOMalley · 2026-03-25T23:40:42+00:00

Boxing Gym bro..game changer

KSWind17 · 2026-03-25T21:03:43+00:00

Bro, 90% of your issues are because you refuse to get off the pity train. You can be at rock bottom but at the end of the day, you gotta stop letting other people have that power over you. Start living FOR YOU.

I say that as one who questions himself harder than anybody else ever will. But you gotta make that choice to get up and start living for you.

Wally0991 · 2026-03-25T18:41:24+00:00

It sounds like you are at the anger phase let it out man next week you'll feel so much better. Guaranteed. If you believe all these things in a month still start chipping away at some of these easiest fix is the sex part escorts or depending on where you are financially leave the country

Character-Change-507 · 2026-03-25T12:15:35+00:00

Girls are easy to get into bed. Even at my fucking lowest, fat, no confidence, devasted from my ex cheating on me, hundreds of thousands in debt and FAR from ready to entertain a girl and even I was able to get one in my bed. Take this opportunity to find peace in the solitude, don't worry about the next girl.

midnight_Caller74 · 2026-03-25T12:10:34+00:00

I get how you feel, but it starts to get better. After 10 years of marriage, she left me. I spent almost 2 months thinking the same as you.

Tonight I went on a date with someone who actually got me excited. We hit it off, spent almost 3 hours talking at a local Italian restaurant, even split a pizza. I got her number at the end of the night and we agreed to meet again as soon as our schedules align.

Things get better dude, don’t be so hard on yourself.

No-Asparagus6937 · 2026-03-25T10:44:07+00:00

Someone already said it!! Escorts man!!

Immediate-Story2562 · 2026-03-25T06:57:49+00:00

Sorry bro. Life sometimes relentlessly knocks us down but we have to get back up again because no one but ourselves can save us.
Try to be self aware to the stories you tell yourself to keep you out of a negative spiral. Question your thoughts and how you see yourself. Take time and put effort into healing.

Forward_Leave1382 · 2026-03-25T05:50:52+00:00

Give it time, it sucks and it's pain that teaches caution for whatever the future brings. Control what you can and let the rest go.

"It took a little time, tequila and therapy, threw it in a blender with ice"

eastlibertypj · 2026-03-25T02:34:27+00:00

Hey- I'm sorry you're hurting like this. Sometimes therapists are like shoes - if they don't fit well, you don't get far and being in their office is uncomfortable. I had a therapist I was getting nowhere with much of 2025. I switched in the fall from a talk therapist to a trauma informed therapist and I am now making rapid progress.

Have you tried switching to a new therapist at all? Also - before you met your ex...what did you enjoy doing? Any hobbies?

Plastic_Efficiency35 · 2026-03-25T01:45:15+00:00

Bro, I am so sorry that you are hurting like this.

ThrowForChristSakes · 2026-03-25T01:12:29+00:00

Get you’re testosterone checked, if this is indeed part of the problem, increasing your juice might help solve SOME of you poor mental perspective as well as help you straighten out again.

I’m not a Dr, just an experienced blockhead on Reddit, but you are too young to take injections in my (non-medical) opinion.

Prolonged and constant high stress levels such as being in a crappy relationship, getting cheated on, and then going through a messy divorce will depress your body’s ability to produce testosterone. Do not discount this!

Focus on good habits, continued therapy (nothing wrong with switching therapists if this one’s not working out), exercise, and safe supplements to help produce naturally again.

Please research this for yourself and take the next steps.

Good luck!

Please Updateme.

mikemitch0785 · 2026-03-24T23:58:35+00:00

Plenty of ways around that, plenty of women who have 0 interest in sex who can't find men who don't want sex. Get with dominatrix who gets off kicking your ass. Become a pay pig, there women who pay to cuddle only. This ain't 1990s the entire spectrum exists out there on the internet. Or you can do like other things people say and work out and take meds and just trying it better but I'm just saying if you don't want to get better then don't but there's more options than saying this is it forever. Also for the love of God get your testosterone checked I also had no sex drive, mine was 100 so I'm on trt and I bounced back.

Jeanclaudegahdam · 2026-03-24T23:52:50+00:00

Escorts buddy. Live it up. Fuck it.

redditrock56 · 2026-03-24T22:18:33+00:00

Seriously, man...get some Viagra and get your ass to the gym and fucking live there if you have to.

Get on rogaine and consider cosmetic changes if needed.

It's not that bad, and it's only pussy even if it is.

Johanna156156 · 2026-03-24T19:34:22+00:00

Do you need help

Johanna156156 · 2026-03-24T19:31:55+00:00

It will be hours only 😂

BigBubbaMac · 2026-03-24T18:36:43+00:00

I dont know where your at in the process but not everything in life is about looks, relationships or sex.

The bright side is your done with your ex. Her cheating, lies and betrayal are all about HER being a piece of shit person. NOT you.

rdwrer_711 · 2026-03-24T18:19:38+00:00

Have you considered the red light district?

rowman_nahledge · 2026-03-24T18:13:43+00:00

Dude. You’re young its gonna be ok man, time will heal you. Most of us are in a bad place, a lot of us have seen the light and are happier this happened. But you need to stop with that negative talk seriously. I been there man and its no good. Everything you mentioned is in your head, you have become your own worst enemy. The dick dont work? Theres a pill for that, but i bet its mental along with everything else. Its gonna get better

Ok_Builder_3285 · 2026-03-24T17:59:03+00:00

I feel you. I got divorced 5 years ago and nothing has gotten better. Everything seems to just keep getting worse.

I also feel the never having sex and being alone forever piece. I am fit, I take care of myself, I do everything right, but no woman wants anything to do with me. I haven't even been on a date in the 5 years I've been single.

UrAristotle · 2026-03-24T17:44:01+00:00

I hate that you’re hurting to this point

But stop being a pussy and wallowing in the grief

I’ve been there. Most of the men in this sub have been there. But none of what you say is true if you don’t want it to be.

If you want to find someone to fuck, you can find someone to fuck. The apps are full of them. And women who say they are dating with intention are also full of shit. If you want to go out and have fun, go out and have fun.

You’re in control of how you feel. Whenever you start to “feel depressed,” remind yourself that you’re in control of that internal monologue. Then tell your inner bitch to stfu and go take care of yourself.

LesBleus10 · 2026-03-24T17:43:09+00:00

If you’re not already, get in the gym and start lifting. Cut junk food and drinking. Time heals all. Don’t quit. Hang in there and do 1% better each day. 1% adds up, stay consistent.

Title	Today I Realised
Author	AffectionateCold9
Upvotes	15
Comments	31
Date	March 24, 2026 5:38 PM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1s2knsz/today_i_realised/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/today-i-realised.1576322 https://theredarchive.com/post/1576322

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