Wife’s attorney asking for documents

LastDemand8704 · 2024-07-12T17:28:54+00:00

These are all the standard things to be provided prior to mediation. I (wife) had to supply all of these and many more though I thought it was ridiculous. My stbx dragged his feet and didn’t want to and didn’t end supplying all the documents but if it goes to trial it will look bad on him for trying to hide it and not be cooperative. In my state it’s required to provide all information prior to mediation.

NoSpare3128 · 2024-07-09T03:41:32+00:00

Why are you being spoken to while you have a lawyer on record? It’s not rocket science…you do not respond to your wife’s attorney. No need running scared. Your attorney is unreachable? You get a new attorney lined up and then you fire that attorney and file a bar complaint. This isn’t rocket science. It’s simply using your brain.

This_Train340i · 2024-07-08T20:08:55+00:00

The mediator gets paid by the hour and the clock doesn't start until the mediation begins in almost all mediations. Therefore, aside from a one page summary, the mediator isn't going to read shit before the mediation. They are the most unprepared and uninformed people in the room, and their job is to ferry offers of settlement from one side to the other, present counter offers, and if a settlement is reached, draft a poorly written and incomplete agreement that will be lacking in details you will find out later. They know nothing about your case before the mediation starts other than it's a divorce and settling cases isn't rocket science when you've done it hundreds of times with the same issues. Why can't lawyers do this job by talking to each other and working out a settlement? If the lawyers can't work it out, no mediator can either, unless the lawyers are using the mediator to lean on their client to settle, which gives the lawyer the appearance of being on their side when the truth is the lawyer doesn't give a shit and wants to close the case, get paid, and retain another one. Rinse and repeat. The practice of law is 90% client management and 10% law.

Mr_Stimmers · 2024-07-08T18:11:10+00:00

God damn, my attorney's next appointment is August 22nd. Is that kind of delay normal?

bg555 · 2024-07-08T18:04:58+00:00

Do not respond to wife’s attorney. Send all these request to your attorney and then follow the advice your attorney gives you.

RedFridged · 2024-07-08T17:29:23+00:00

Once attorneys get involved…it’s everything. It’ll take a year…all of this depends on the State in which you reside. If you own property…she will get half of the increased value from the date of marriage…you’re going to pay for an appraiser…. Keep in mind mediation proceedings are cheaper than court. Keep breathing. Get it done. It’s no fun. Then….enjoy your freedom. It’s glorious.

Decon_SaintJohn · 2024-07-08T16:20:32+00:00

If there's anything you don't want to share, just tell OC it "doesn't exist." OC will have to get a court order and hire a forensic account to find whatever it is. That will be a very expensive thing for your wife to pursue and will more than likely nix it.

RichardCleveland · 2024-07-08T15:46:54+00:00

It's part of the discovery process. They want to make sure you didn't go out and purposely rack up debt, or if you moved around investments trying to hide money. Resume is weird, but not unheard of if your state impedes income, as they may want to do a market analysis based on experience and education. But that's more common if one of the parties is not working. Home insurance... no idea.

Your stbx is trying to find something to screw you over with.

Embarrassed-Steak331 · 2024-07-08T15:18:55+00:00

It sounds like opposing is gearing up to squeeze a turnip. If it were me, my trust level would go from 50% to 5%. Mediation and paranoia don't mix well. So I'd send a hint that this bean counting seems to be in bad faith, antithetical to mediation. Don't tank it quite yet. Just suggest they ease off the throttle a bit.

One and two - My state requires most recent statements. QDROs additionally wanted a statement at Date of Separation and Date of Marriage to figure out what's communal. Your stbx is probably checking to make sure you didn't engineer the divorce and move money a long time ago. They're auditing you.

Three - This twitches a lot. I can't think of a motive. Maybe they're trying to grab the most extreme valuations of the house? Low would be better for her if she's keeping the house. High would be better for her if you're keeping the house. Otherwise, the dollar amount should be the actual sale value. Why doesn't she have this info? Kind of hints that her attorney is jacking up fees for nothing.

Four - Definitely not unless required by law. The only thing I can think of is proving under performance in your job. It might be a good idea to take LinkedIn private.

edr5619 · 2024-07-08T14:35:18+00:00

Unless forced by court order, I wouldn't provide anything. The resume sounds like they want to impute income.

If possible, could you, instead of handing them over prior to mediation, prepare the documents so you have them on hand and bring them to mediation with you.

Hand them over then, if the mediator and your lawyer suggest it and you have a better read on what they are seeking with them.

salty-sheep-bah · 2024-07-08T14:09:31+00:00

For as long as I've been on this sub, this is probably the first time I've seen a resume requested. I can only imagine they are trying to dispute your income vs. your income potential.

krazykanuck · 2024-07-08T13:56:25+00:00

Im guessing they are looking for patterns that would indicate you were hiding money.

Comfortable-Angle660 · 2024-07-08T13:43:01+00:00

IMO, it is exceedingly vexatious. All they truly need is bank account balances at time of separation, and your tax returns/tax slips, everything else is BS.

Signal-Dot2326 · 2024-07-08T11:30:05+00:00

Most of that you'll have to give regardless, like my wife's attorneys played games for months about her discovery and in the end submitted everything, just ended up costing my wife more and more money instead of sending your financials once she sent bits and pieces like 4 times. Why pay lawyer to gather and submit the same thing 4 times to just play games.

Exactly65536 · 2024-07-08T09:55:42+00:00

"I'm awesome, hire me" - here, that's a resume. Feel free to use.

There are no legal requirements to have specific fields in a resume; even the example above is exceedingly verbose.

The rest sounds reasonable, as long as the other party provides the same information.

Flashy_Yam967 · 2024-07-08T08:45:58+00:00

With exception of your resume, the ask is reasonable. My ex asked the same from me and I did the same to her. It helps to ensure assets are not hidden or undervalued.

DadVader77 · 2024-07-08T05:40:58+00:00

We purposely chose to forgo financial discovery for this exact reason. Unless your plan is to rape the other person for every nickel and bleed them dry, all you need is recent account statements

castironskilletset · 2024-07-08T05:38:10+00:00

If you are in mediation then, there is not much that attorney can do. He can demand a lot but he can't force you to give it

If you go to trial, well then. You can object to literally everything

Ptsdveterannavy · 2024-07-08T05:31:34+00:00

It's going to get nastier before the end

FUMoney · 2024-07-08T05:13:35+00:00

You can object. If the request is informal, informally object. If they send a formal request for production, you and your counsel formally respond with objections. Then they will need to move to compel.

SciencePretend8413 · 2024-07-08T04:51:55+00:00

I wouldn’t supply a damn thing unless compelled to by the court. Anything you provide could possibly be used against you.

Lumptbuttcat · 2024-07-08T03:38:32+00:00

If your attorney is worth a shit, he will advise you to provide information for all credit cards, investments and retirements that are solely in your name. Anything joint, let them do the work.

As for resume- just put jobs held & education and dates. Do the opposite of a trying to get a job. LoL.

pk2at · 2024-07-08T03:10:23+00:00

Standard practice, almost every financial disclosure is voluntary. You don't have to provide anything unless there is a forced disclosure order by the court. Every document you supply will be used against you

UseResponsible4368 · 2024-07-08T03:05:10+00:00

The State is key information. Have you seen her side of the info?

Title	Wife’s attorney asking for documents
Author	Mr_Stimmers
Upvotes	8
Comments	47
Date	July 8, 2024 3:02 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1dxygi7/wifes_attorney_asking_for_documents/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/wifes-attorney-asking-for-documents.1523580 https://theredarchive.com/post/1523580

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